Magnum: Stargazer Alien Mail Order Brides (Intergalactic Dating Agency)

by Tasha Black

  But it would be fun to have an excuse to stop the madness.

  Since the arrival of Aerie ships, the women had spent most of their time learning Aerie vocabulary and syntax for communication with their in-laws-to-be. Speaking the actual movement language was impossible from inside a human body, but they were creating a sort of merged language, useful enough for polite exchanges.

  They also dedicated considerable time to finding ways to avoid the public eye. Which wasn’t nearly as hard as they had expected, since they never heard from Sykes again, and MacGyver had been more than happy to answer any questions the government had.

  Her mom had been on every channel with him, night and day, for the first few weeks, discussing the communications that ultimately reached Aerie, the wait for explorers to arrive, and the race of beings and their vast knowledge, as well as the implications for humankind as the two races forged a friendship together.

  The reporters were very interested in interviewing the boys - their good looks were likely as much a factor in the press interest as their actual lineage. But Dr. Bhimani had instructed that this not happen until they were completely acclimated, thus buying the kids a bit more time to enjoy their fledgling relationships before becoming celebrities.

  That didn’t mean that they weren’t accosted at every outing though. Thankfully, the citizens of Stargazer protected their own.

  Rima smiled thinking of the day last week, when she and Magnum had run to the grocery store and been set upon by a reporter.

  “No comment,” she had said politely.

  But the guy wouldn’t back off.

  Then tiny Lainie, on her lunch break from the post office, had strode up and smacked the guy with her giant pocketbook, and began scolding him soundly to the cheers of the other shoppers.

  Truthfully, Rima hoped that the public would move on to something else before she had to share Magnum with them. She wasn’t one for being in the spotlight. But they would deal with it when the time came. The important thing was that they were all safe. No government agency would come to kidnap and do experiments on her husband now that every camera on the planet was trained on him.

  He wasn’t a threat, or a curiosity. He was an ambassador.

  “Rima?” Georgia’s voice called from the other side of the field.

  “On the dock,” she called back.

  Posey and Georgia approached. They wore fluffy bathrobes, mittens and sheepskin boots, with hair and make-up that looked like it belonged on a runway.

  “Wow,” Rima said.

  “Come inside,” Georgia said, her face pink with excitement. “We’re going to put on our dresses. It’s time.”

  “Okay, okay.” Rima smiled, getting up to join them. “Hey, wow, wouldn’t it be crazy if the dock collapsed right now?”

  She pictured them all up to their shoulders in frigid muddy pond water.

  Posey shrieked and dashed back onto the grass.

  “Very funny,” Georgia winked.

  They walked back to the observatory in companionable silence.

  Once they were back inside, Rima felt her excitement grow.

  They had all gone to Lancaster to get lingerie for their wedding nights. Rima had chosen white lace. She knew Magnum would be taken with the frosty patterns. Or he would rip them to shreds immediately. Either way, it was a win for Rima.

  She smiled, thinking about Magnum’s wild passion. She’d gone from a virgin to a sex-crazed maniac in such a short time. Rima had heard it said that once a man got what he wanted he lost interest. But their lovemaking only seemed to make Magnum more insatiable. The days at the observatory could become sheer torture as they stole kisses and caresses here and there and waited for the sun to go down so they could disappear together.

  “What are you doing in there?” Posey yelled, banging on her door. “You’d better not be messing up your hair.”

  “Give me another minute,” Rima said, sliding into her dress and slipping her feet into the ballet slippers Georgia had helped her choose. Rima was tall enough without heels, and there was no need for her to fall down on her wedding day.

  She looked in the mirror and found herself smiling. Posey had done a good job. Rima’s hair looked just as usual but with the curls a bit glossier and a couple of rhinestone pins twinkling from between her raven locks. The dress was beautiful white satin with a lace drape that was reminiscent of her mother’s traditional Indian wedding dress. Rima looked elegant, but also very much like herself - the wisest, most sophisticated and happy version of herself. Hopefully it was a portent of her married days to come.

  She came out and Posey squealed.

  “Rima, it’s just right,” Georgia said, tears glazing her green eyes.

  “Thank you. You look… like a queen,” Rima told her friend, admiring the way Georgia’s sleeveless gown hugged her curves with cream-colored velvet and then flared out at the hip to nearly brush the floor with a thousand layers of gauze. The color suited Georgia’s skin tone and brought out her green eyes. Her fiery hair was piled on top of her head with the pearl combs, large tendrils falling artfully onto her shoulders.

  “Oh, Posey,” Rima sighed.

  Posey had chosen a simple gown that made Rima think of Marilyn Monroe standing on top of the grate. It accentuated her figure, tiny baby bump and all, without drawing any attention away from her incredible hair.

  Posey’s blonde hair looked like it had been teased sprayed and possibly even threatened into submission. Tiny braids wove in and out of the shining waves of her wheat gold tresses with small beads and ribbons twisted into the braids. She looked like a fairy princess.

  Posey had done an incredible job on all three of them, bringing out each girl’s personality in their makeover - something no one else in the world could have done.

  “Girls,” Dr. Bhimani’s voice called down the stairs. “It’s time to go.”

  “One second, Mom,” Rima called to her.

  She took a breath and looked to her friends, holding out her hands.

  Without a word they all joined hands and squeezed.

  “No matter what happens - babies, jobs, alien language lessons, national news reports - we’re family. We have each other’s backs, right?” Posey whispered. “Getting married to the boys doesn’t change anything between us.”

  “It makes us sisters in a way, doesn’t it?” Rima asked.

  “We’ve been sisters all along,” Georgia said. “And if I have to get married young, I’m glad we’re all doing it together. Kick my ass if I let go of my dreams, will you?”

  Rima laughed and Posey smirked.

  “Let’s do this,” Georgia said.

  “Group hug?” Rima offered.

  “So help me god, if you guys mess up your hair—” Posey began.

  “We won’t,” Georgia and Rima said at once.

  Posey smiled and opened her arms and the three giggled as they shared a strange but satisfying hug that preserved the integrity of both hair and dresses.

  “Girls,” Dr. Bhimani said again from the top of the stairs.

  They let each other go and dashed up the stairs to face the future together.

  27

  Magnum

  Magnum paced back and forth on the small covered porch.

  The emotions that had overwhelmed and frightened him in his first months on this planet had become a joy to him since his union with Rima. He looked forward to being filled with happiness, lust and laughter every time they could sneak off together.

  Tonight, for the first time, the emotions overwhelmed him again and he didn’t know why.

  He couldn’t understand why a ceremony would make Rima his bride any more than their shared commitment had, but he was glad to do it, and he wasn’t afraid.

  Something about all the people gathering loudly inside, the strangely decorated space that Earl had insisted the girls would love, the food laid out on the tables in tiny portions… It was all unfamiliar and somehow irritating.

  It was probably exacerbat
ed by the fact that he was not allowed to spend time with Rima on this day because of local superstitions.

  Even his tie was tight against his neck like a noose. Earl’s friend, the tailor, had clucked and scolded like a squirrel when he measured Magnum’s neck and shoulders, and had to make many adjustments to his ceremonial clothing. Earl called it a penguin suit, although Magnum was sure the flightless birds wore no such clothing.

  Bond and Rocky seemed to be getting a kick out of looking like the famous Blues Brothers. Magnum preferred to emulate Bruce Springsteen in jeans and a t-shirt.

  But he was glad to wear this suit if it made Rima happy. If Earth stories were true, all women dreamed of their wedding days. And of course, there would be a large cake, which was a happiness.

  “It’s time,” Earl said at last, turning back to the boys from where he had been peeking through the curtain inside.

  His face went slack.

  “Shit. Oh, hell no. Wait here,” he yelled, running away from the curtain off the porch and down to his truck.

  Bond raised an eyebrow and Magnum shrugged, banging his collar into his chin.

  Then they noticed the thing hovering midair near them. It looked like a tiny helicopter.

  Earl ran back with his weapon and stood next to the boys.

  “Hold still,” he whispered.

  He aimed carefully and shot.

  The thing fell out of the air, a swirl of smoke rising from it.

  “Bam! Gotcha!” Earl crowed.

  “What was that?” Magnum asked.

  “Oh, it was a drone,” Earl said.

  “A what?” Rocky asked.

  “It’s a little robot. The press sent it to take pictures of your wedding without your permission. Not on my watch,” Earl yelled, shaking his fist at the sky.

  “Thank you,” Magnum told him solemnly, though he wasn’t entirely sure what he was thanking him for.

  “It was my pleasure,” Earl said earnestly.

  He trotted back to the car, locked the gun away, and joined them again.

  “Is everything okay out here?” Dr. Bhimani asked anxiously, poking her head through the curtain. “Someone said they heard a gunshot.”

  “All’s well, Dr. B.. All is well,” Earl shouted back to her. “We’ll head in now.”

  She nodded, not looking entirely convinced, and her head disappeared inside again.

  “Well guys, I’m gonna miss you. But hopefully the girls will let you out sometimes,” Earl said, emotion rich in his voice.

  “Why would they not let us out?” Magnum asked, mystified.

  “Well, um… you’ll see. I doubt it will come up,” Earl hedged. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m very ready,” Rocky replied.

  “Me too,” Bond nodded.

  Magnum nodded and headed through the curtain the other two trailing behind.

  It was hard for him to believe that his bride would wish to be married in a barn, but Earl had explained that women liked all kinds of things he might not understand and that he would just have to trust him on it.

  When they ran the plan by Dr. Bhimani, her eyes lit up with pleasure, so they had moved forward preparing and decorating the barn on Earl’s farm.

  Now that he saw it after dark, Magnum had to concede that it did look very cozy.

  The high barn ceiling had fairy lights wound around the trusses. More lights wound around each column along with chains of pine boughs the local scout troop had worked on. Bales of hay covered in colorful patchwork quilts made up the seating. The scent of the hay and pine, the warmth of the room now that it was filled with living breathing guests, and the sound of the soft guitar music coming from the loft above all gave Magnum the feeling of safety and community that reminded him of the youth nest on Aerie.

  As they entered, he overheard many remarks on their handsomeness, and their serious expressions. He saw familiar faces from the post office, the grocery store, people he had met at the amusement park and at the Fall Festival.

  For the first time, it struck him that this was his home now, not just a home he had taken on by necessity, but a true home, one that accepted him and made him feel both protected and protective. He had been willing to give his life to save this planet, and now he realized that even without Rima on it, there was so much on Earth to love.

  The violin joined the guitar and he heard the crowd gasp.

  The brides were here.

  Posey came first, beaming, in a white dress with her hair looking like the cover of a princess movie.

  Then Georgia stepped gracefully down the aisle in a ball gown, tears shining in her green eyes.

  But the world faded away when he saw his Rima.

  She came to him with confidence, walking slowly with a gentle smile. She was alight with an innocence she hadn’t shaken, in spite of their delirious exploits.

  Magnum was beginning to realize that Rima had an innocence about her that had nothing to do with her ripe sexuality and everything to do with her purity of spirit and mind.

  Her soft curls shone in the twinkling lights.

  She was wearing a snowy white gown with a sash of lace that reminded him of her ancestral culture. The alabaster hues set off her beautiful tawny skin so that she almost appeared to be glowing.

  Tears prickled his eyes and he blinked them back, not wanting to miss an instant of the beautiful picture of his bride coming to him, framed by their friends, her family, this beautiful night.

  He had given up immortality to put on the mantle of humanity and walk the Earth by her side. And it was worth it.

  When they were both old and feeble, a part of them would always be in this place, warm and happy and strong.

  At last she took his hands.

  The words of the ceremony were endless. He repeated his part when it was time, though he was still awash in a haze of emotion. Somehow he managed to get the ring on her small finger without dropping it, and he managed not to kiss her until he was told it was permitted.

  “I now pronounce you husbands and wives. You may kiss the brides,” the words rang through the barn to the cheers of the onlookers.

  He cupped her sweet face in his hands, wondering if she would ever understand how much he loved her.

  She gazed up at him, her dark eyes telling him she knew and she felt the same.

  Then he was kissing her with wild abandon. She clung to him and kissed him back.

  At last there was laughter in the audience. Rima pulled away slightly.

  “We’re still in public,” she giggled.

  “Not for long,” he announced, lifting her in his arms. “I need to get you alone now.”

  The violin and guitar played again, but he carried her away without regard for the tempo of the music. Damn it, he’d said his words correctly. Enough was enough.

  “There’s a reception,” she whispered to him. “With food, and dancing, and cake.”

  “Fine,” he agreed, “but after that I’m getting you alone. And then you’ll pay for all this delay in letting me have my way with you.”

  She threw her head back and laughed, but she didn’t argue, so he laughed too.

  28

  Rima

  Rima spent the evening in a cocoon of happiness, surrounded by friends and family, with Magnum ever at her side.

  When the last slice of cake was eaten, and the last dance was danced, the guests began to depart.

  “Enough,” Magnum whispered into her hair. “Now we’re going home.”

  And although she was exhausted physically and her cheeks hurt from smiling so hard, a frisson of excitement went through her, as it always did, at the promise of alone time with her… husband.

  Amazing, he was her husband now.

  Bond and Posey joined them at the door.

  “Where’s Rocky?” Magnum asked.

  Georgia joined them, rolling her eyes and gesturing to the dance floor where Rocky was dancing with Rima’s old flute teacher, Mrs. Brimble. She had been a formidable flute teacher, but
she was a tiny old lady now, and looked quite comical in Rocky’s large arms.

  “He can really cut a rug,” Posey remarked.

  “Yes, he would agree with you,” Georgia smirked. But then she gazed at him with such fondness that Rima knew she was enjoying his enthusiasm.

  At last he bowed to his partner and joined the others.

  “Fun, right?” he asked Georgia.

  “Super fun,” she agreed. “Time to go home now.”

  He laughed and tossed her over his shoulder.

  “Hey, put me down,” she sputtered. But he carried her away to the cheers of the remaining guests.

  The others followed them into the cold night.

  Bond drove, with Posey leaning her head on his shoulder.

  The other four squeezed into the backseat together.

  “It’s just like prom night, being dressed up with our dates all together like this,” Georgia remarked.

  Posey giggled from the front seat.

  Rima hadn’t been to prom, but she was pretty sure this ride topped it by a lot.

  They all grew quiet. And at last they were moving up the drive, and the boxwood hedge was leading the way home.

  Dr. Bhimani was staying in town with a friend so that Georgia and Rocky could have her suite. Soon enough they would all need their own housing. But for now, it was a comfort to be together. Plus, the observatory had enough surrounding grounds to keep the press away. So it would be a honeymoon at home for the three newlywed couples.

  When they reached the common room, Georgia and Rocky peeled off to head down the hall to Dr. Bhimani’s rooms.

  “Good night Mrs. Bond, Mrs. Magnum,” Georgia said formally while Rocky tilted his head back to laugh.

  “Good night Mrs. Rocky,” Rima said.

  “Or is it Ms. Rocky?” Posey asked.

  “Either one is fine by me!” Georgia laughed as she and Rocky disappeared down the hall. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow for breakfast.”

  Rocky coughed.

  “Better make that brunch,” Georgia called back.