The Bad Boy Wants Me: A Bad Boy Romance
Page 18
So I was a fan. Fine, I was the crazy mad fan he described, but that still doesn’t make me a bad person. I didn’t harm anyone. I was just young. Surely he will see that, unlike the other crazed fans, I came to his father’s house not to steal memorabilia but in an attempt, no matter how misguided, to heal myself.
I made a mistake by not confessing at the beginning of our relationship that I was a fan, but I was embarrassed. Who has never made a mistake in their lives? I am very nervous about the task ahead, but I will have a few shots of vodka, and I’ll be brave.
I dress in the loose-cut, tiered, cobalt blue mini dress that Britney and I bought before we left for Milan. With its high, squared-off neckline that connects to spaghetti straps framing a V back, it is fun and flirty. I team it with cross-strap platform shoes in tan suede and go to Britney’s room. She is standing in her bra and knickers and looking at the mountain of clothes on her bed.
‘Help me,’ she says.
‘I thought you were going to wear the off shoulder sequined dress ala Taylor Swift?’ I ask.
‘I’m not sure anymore.’ She lets her eyes run down my figure. ‘You look real cute, by the way.’
‘Thank you,’ I reply and walk towards her. I go to the pile of clothes and start putting them back on their hangers. I spot the maroon ala Taylor Swift dress under the third dress and pull it out.
‘How could you not wear this? It’s so beautiful?’ I say holding it up.
She grins suddenly. ‘You’re right. It is gorgeous and I will wear it.’
‘It’s so tight you won’t be able to kick anyone’s balls in it though,’ I tell her as I help zip her up.
She laughs and gets into a pair of Dolce & Gabbana black boots.
‘Wow,’ I say.
‘You’re not just saying it?’
‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’
While Britney starts on her makeup, I go downstairs and find people are already beginning to arrive. Lara, the party organizer, is ticking their names off her list. I go through the hallway and see that the caterers have set up their tables out in the garden, and all the furniture in the big living room has been moved into the other rooms. There is a DJ with his mobile disco unit. I go out into the kitchen where Cora is fussing over her version of jello shots. Hers have a mixture of rum, cognac and lemon juice. I help her put them into bowls half-filled with ice.
‘Try one,’ she says.
I pop myself on a stool. ‘Only if you’ll drink with me,’ I say.
So we sit and have our first shot together. ‘He’s a good boy, you know.’
‘Who?’ I ask, chewing jello.
‘You know who.’
I stop chewing. ‘You know?’
She leans closer. ‘Everybody knows.’
I sigh. ‘I should have told you, but I didn’t know if it was even going to last. You know how it is. Cash is a big star and I’m just the hired help.’
She reaches out her veined, waxy hand and covers mine with it. ‘You’re not just the hired help. Don’t you go around saying such stupid things. You’re not uneducated like me. You have a great future in front of you. Grab it all with both hands. He’s not better than you.’
I take my other hand and cover hers with it. ‘You don’t know, Cora. It’s not as simple as you think. I lied to Cash about something important. I’m going to try and make it right tonight, but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how he will react. So tonight might even be my last night here.’
‘Don’t be so silly,’ she scolds. ‘I’ve known Cash since he was a wee boy and he has a heart of gold. Tell him the truth and I promise you it won’t be your last night here.’
I chew my bottom lip nervously. ‘It’s a really big thing though.’
‘Then the sooner you get it out of the way the better for both of you,’ she says firmly.
I force a smile. ‘I’m just so scared I’ll ruin everything.’
‘Think about it this way. What have you got if you have no trust?’
I nod. ‘You’re right. I’ll tell him tonight after the party.’
‘Good girl.’ She grins. ‘One more shot.’
I giggle. ‘I’m going to be drunk before the night starts.’
‘To deal with some of the people that hang around this family you need to be drunk,’ she says, rolling her eyes.
I laugh and we down two more jello shots.
‘Well, can’t hide here forever,’ I say slipping off the stool. ‘I guess I better go and see what Britney is up to. Wish me luck.’
‘Good luck, Tori.’
‘See you later,’ I say and slip out of the door into the corridor that seems to have filled up considerably in the half an hour I spent in the kitchen.
As I reach the stairs I see Octavia. She’s coming down dressed in a fabulous calf length black leather dress and white court shoes. I find myself frozen by the look in her eyes. It is vindictive and victorious. She comes down to the last step and stops in front of me.
‘Smile. It’s a party,’ she drawls, and I cannot help the shiver of unease that rises up my spine.
I don’t reply and she walks away towards the main room where music has started throbbing. As I stand there watching her figure walk away, a pair of hands envelops my body and all the tension in my body drains away. I relax into his hard body. He runs his palms over the curves of my hips and plants a kiss on my bare shoulder.
‘Your whole back is practically naked,’ he growls.
I turn around. In a black shirt and dark blue jeans he is 360% of pure gorgeousness. Everything in me is crying out for him. ‘It’s deliberate,’ I murmur. ‘I wanted to distract you. It’s wall to wall babes in here.’
He looks into my eyes. ‘You know me. I wouldn’t go anywhere pussy wasn’t running free, but lately all I’m craving is your sweet body.’ He pulls me close to his body so I can feel his erection. ‘Feel that? That’s you. I just can’t keep my hands off you. You’re so fucking hot.’
My breath catches even as I feel a kind of sick terror in the pit of my stomach. How will he react when I tell him the awful truth? Will he still want me? I lay my finger in his chin dimple. ‘You look pretty hot yourself, but you already know that, don’t you, darlin’?’
He laughs. ‘Class, ass, and a whole load of sass, that’s my girl.’
‘I like to leave a lasting impression,’ I say as nonchalantly as I can, but my words feel hollow as if I am pretending, and my heart sits like a stone in my chest.
‘Are you wearing panties?’ he whispers close to my ears.
I lean back. ‘I’m wearing a mini dress, Cash! Of course, I’m wearing panties.’
‘Shame. I love the idea of you walking around bare assed and any moment I could meet you in a dark corner and finger you.’
My heart thumps hard at the image he evokes. ‘Don’t. You’re making me wet.’
He grins. ‘Shall we nip up to your room for a quick one?’
God, how I’d love to say yes. To go upstairs and just for a while forget that I have this painful task ahead. ‘Don’t you want to see Britney first?’ I ask.
‘What do you want, babe? You want me to go see my sister, or you want me to take you upstairs and stick your wet pussy on the end of my cock?’
My breath starts coming in gasps. I shouldn’t be doing this. This is wrong. ‘Take me upstairs,’ I whisper.
He grabs my hand and pulls me up the stairs to my room. The place is so full by now we have to negotiate people sitting on the steps and those coming down. He shuts my bedroom door and locks it. Then he takes two steps towards me and drops to his knees. He lifts my flowing flirty dress and disappears into it.
‘What are you doing?’ I gasp.
‘Spread your legs. I’m going to make you cream on my face,’ he says as he yanks my panties down my legs.
I widen my legs and he slips the tip of his tongue between my wet folds and swirls it. I grasp hold of his shoulders and bite my lip to keep from moaning. He continues to swipe his ton
gue in long, lingeringly luscious strokes.
‘Oh damn. You’re fucking killing me with your tongue,’ I squawk.
‘Forget my tongue. It’s my cock you have to worry about, Wildcat.’
Someone tries the door and I freeze, but he doesn’t stop until I come with a muffled cry of ecstasy, and even his cock is completely satiated.
‘Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much sex with one girl,’ he says.
‘Is that a bad thing?’
‘Nope. Come on. It’s time I bought my girl a drink.’
‘My girl?’
‘Yeah. My girl. You’re mine, Tori Diamond,’ he says possessively and opens the door.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Tori
We are halfway down the stairs when I know that something is wrong. The music has stopped and I can hear Octavia’s voice coming from the main room. There is no other voice except hers. She seems to be reading something aloud.
Suddenly my blood runs cold. I stand stock still. I can’t move. My feet feel as if they are encased in concrete.
Oh, Jesus. No. No. No.
How could it be? This can’t be real. Please don’t be real.
I turn to look at Cash. There is a frown on his face. Instinctively he knows that something is wrong, but he still has not realized what she is reading. This is just a fucking nightmare. I just have to wake up, but I can’t wake up. I’m already awake.
Then my brain goes crazy and I run into the living room. I can see her at the end of it surrounded by people. The voice she is using to read is different than her usual one, and she has changed her accent to an American one. I realize that she is pretending she is me!
‘Can you believe it, Monstrosity? I got the job. I’ll have to put up with a totally selfish, vacuous, self-absorbed teenager, but it will be worth it. I finally, finally get to meet Cash Hunter. The guy I’ve been madly in love with since I was thirteen. It’s been a long time, but here I am.’
‘Stop it,’ I scream, my body shaking uncontrollably.
Octavia stops reading and smiles at me. It is the cruel, gloating smile of a winner. The smile of someone who knows she will take everything that you hold precious. At that moment I hate her. I actually feel murderous towards her.
Frantically, I look at all the faces of all the people gathered there. Some are looking at me with disgust, others pity and some are jeering. I look at Britney and she is looking at me with so much hurt.
Jesus.
I want to scream that it’s not true. That was at the beginning. I changed my mind. I love her like a sister now, but my throat has closed over.
I turn to see Cash standing just inside the doorway and he just looks so shocked. He is looking at me as if he never knew me. As if I cheated him or betrayed him.
Jesus.
It’s not like that, I want to scream.
I didn’t come here to stalk you. I came here to get over you. I was going to tell you tonight. But when I open my mouth nothing comes out. I am so embarrassed, so humiliated I feel suffocated. I gasp for air to fill my empty lungs and my chest hurts. It literally hurts to breathe. Tears begin to flood my vision and I snap.
With a cry of shame and defeat, I run out of the room, out of the hallway, through the open door, down the stone steps, and out into the street.
Cash
It’s like a hurricane that comes in from nowhere. First the shingles are ripped off the roof. As hundreds of them fly off, water starts coming into the house, then the rafters crack and, with a sickening sound, the whole fucking roof flies off.
That’s what this instant feels like.
One moment my life is great, my palm is on the warm skin of Tori’s back, her smile familiar and sexy, then the next instant, the heavens rip open and unleash this black vortex. It’s only purpose was to destroy everything in its path. In seconds it sucks up what I believed was mine. And there is not a fucking thing I can do about it.
I look at Octavia reading from a furry blue book and don’t register what is happening. My mind refuses to believe that, that poison dropping out of her mouth could ever have been hatched in Tori’s head. Lovely, kind hearted Tori, but one look at Tori’s horrified, guilty face and I know it’s true.
That is her diary.
She did write those hateful words and she is that mad stalker that every celebrity fears. I never heard the warning bells. Not once. Her disguise was perfect. She insinuated herself seamlessly into my father’s house. An imposter. She’s not real. Nothing was real. I thought I put my tongue into her cunt and felt her heartbeat. I know the truth now. I didn’t. It was all an elaborate lie.
In strange silence I watch her run away. Strange. I don’t stop her. I let her go. It doesn’t even feel real. She’s left a book sitting face down to mark its page. She’ll never finish it now. Then I look at Brit’s face and my heart breaks for her. I start to seethe. I stride over to Octavia. How dare she? I’d like to snap her scrawny neck. It’s tempting, so tempting. She is six feet away, four, two, one. Zero.
I hold my hand out.
‘She was no good. I did you a favor.’ Her voice is cold and hard.
I look into her eyes. Funny how I’ve never looked deep into her eyes before. Malicious. ‘You’re a bitch, Octavia. You didn’t do me a favor. You just got yourself fired.’
I reach my hand out and pluck the book from hers.
‘Cash,’ Octavia calls.
I ignore her and walk up to Britney. ‘Do you want to come with me, Brit?’
Her face is white and her chin is wobbly. She shakes her head. ‘No, you go on. I’ll be all right. This is my party.’
I stare at her, even in my moment of loss it occurs to me how much she has changed. She used to be so fragile and unstable.
Then she does something strange. She goes up on her tiptoes and whispers in my ears. Her words are like a lightning bolt. The whole world goes red.
Tori
The paparazzi completely ignore me, and I run down the street in my little flirty fun dress and no panties. I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back. I have no money even to make a phone call. I go down the steps into the tube station. Tears are pouring down my face. I go to the ticket inspector and I tell him I have no money, but if he lets me through the barriers I will come back tomorrow and pay him. He is a kindly, middle-aged black man. He tuts and takes me to the ticket counter where he buys me a ticket.
‘Where to?’ he asks.
‘Virginia Water.’ I try to fight back the sob inside me. It’s picking up force the way a storm does.
He hands me the ticket. ‘Listen love. It’s never as bad as it seems.’
‘Thank you.’ A sob escapes, the sound erupting from deep within my chest. I feel as if I’m breaking apart.
He pats me on the arm and I go down the escalator in a daze. At Waterloo station I get off and find my way up to the train station. I wait for my train and then I go in and sit on an empty seat and stare blankly out of the window. Once someone comes to sit opposite me. I look up confused. A woman in a long grey and white dress smiles kindly at me
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ I whisper.
All I see in my head is Octavia reading my diary in that strange voice and Cash’s face. He looked as if he had been stabbed. I have never seen him look like that. He was white under his tan.
Oh God! Britney.
Her face. Her birthday party was ruined.
God, why did I keep that diary. I frown. How did she get it? The hateful bitch must have taken it out of my room. When I saw her coming down the stairs she must have already taken it. But she wasn’t holding it. She must have put it somewhere else temporarily to wait for the best moment. I remember her telling me to smile.
And the award for Idiot of The Year goes to …
Tears run down my face. I fucked up, and so spectacularly too.
When the woman opposite me leaves at the next station, a man comes to sit beside me. ‘Do you need help?’ he asks.
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I shake my head. I can’t talk. The motion of the train has made me feel physically sick. When I get to Virginia Water, I stumble off the train and sit for a moment on the bench before I make a collect call to my aunt. She tells me she will be there in ten minutes. I sit on the steps outside and wait for her. As soon as her car arrives she jumps out and comes to me. I can barely stand. I know my face must be red and my eyes swollen.
‘Hey, hey, hey,’ she soothes as she takes the last few steps towards me.
‘Oh, Aunt Claire. What am I going to do? I’ve made such a mess of everything.’ The words spill from my mouth as I fall into her arms.
‘Shhh, it’s OK. It’s OK,’ she croons softly.
She holds me tight while I cry racking sobs. I think people pass by and probably stare at us, but I’m dead to everything.
Eventually my aunt sighs. ‘Come on, let’s get you home.’
I feel bruised, battered and irreparably damaged, but my feet somehow move forward and I get into the car. My aunt closes the car door and gets into the driver’s seat. The tears fall and fall. They refuse to stop. Some part of me won’t give up, but I know in my aching heart that he is gone. No more illusions. No more fairy tale endings. This is real life. He’s gone.
Chapter Thirty-eight
Britney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2EDM6Lo
I lift onto my toes, grasp my brother’s shoulder and, putting my ear close to it, whisper, ‘You can’t trust Gavin either. He tried to rape me at your party.’
Of course you want to know why I whispered that bit of venom right at that confusing moment when my brother’s heart would have been racing fast enough to explode?
It’s not because I’m a trouble maker.
It’s because I look at his shell-shocked face (it was glowing less than fifteen minutes ago) and I feel a rush of pity for him. His die has been cast. There he is. A sex God. Everywhere he goes he is mobbed and loved the world over. Almost any woman he wants he can have and yet at that instant I realize he is the loneliest person in the world.
There is not a single person in the world outside my dad, me, and Cora that he can truly trust. I knew then that if I did not tell him about Gavin, all I would be doing is leading him down a path where he would stand shell-shocked by still another betrayal.