Playing Autumn (Breathe Rockstar Romance Book 1)

by Mina V. Esguerra

  “Mia,” Haley motioned for the girl to sit down. “I’m obviously not a pop star or a record company executive. But I have been teaching music for years. It’s not always about knowing the words or playing the chords, is it?”

  Mia gently laid her guitar down on the seat but didn’t sit down herself. “They didn’t tell you about my audition interview, did they?”

  No, they didn’t. Mentors were given information about their students: the audition video, a copy of the application form, and notes from the audition process. The audition panel was Victoria and four other people, the composition of which changed year after year. The notes Haley got for Mia were minimal. If Victoria had personally made the decision to accept Mia, the notes would have been more extensive. But Haley had seen the audition video and on the strength of that alone, she understood why Mia was there.

  “I was asked one of those dumb questions, whose career I imagined I’d have in five years,” Mia said. “I don’t know who asked it. Some guy who isn’t even one of the mentors now. I said I wanted to have Beyoncé’s career, and he laughed at me.”

  Haley fought the urge to giggle herself. Mia, though talented, had but a sliver of the sass required to be caught resembling Beyoncé or her career.

  “I know how unlikely that sounds,” she said defensively, “but I have an explanation. I don’t want to sound like her or anything, but I want the kind of control and power she has. I know it took her more than five years to get it done, but she’s from here, and she’s done it. I don’t want to be some puppet like Trey.”

  “I respect that,” Haley said. It was almost the same thing as planning to win the lottery in five years, given the astronomic odds of it, but it made sense to want it. Everyone did. “We can’t all be like her though.”

  “Exactly. I know all of these people I don’t want to be. I have lists of them. And I get asked who I wanted to be. I sounded dumb. It was exactly why I never wanted to be like other people, you know? Anyone I chose would be so much more awesome than me and I’d be sure to fail.”

  Something clicked in Haley. It was another year, one of those Breathe Music Festivals from her past, a biting comment from a mentor about another student that stayed with her. Poor man’s this. Poor man’s that. Generally a student at Breathe Music didn’t want to hear that, not at this place, where each person elevated to the few slots available considered themselves special snowflakes. God forbid they go through the exercise of performing five times in a weekend and be labeled a “poor man’s someone else.”

  It wasn’t her issue. (Everyone had a personal issue, that weak spot. Haley’s was something else.) This was Mia’s.

  “I get it,” Haley said. “I thought you did very well at lunch earlier.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You also have two performances to go. Do you know what you’re singing tonight?”

  Mia shrugged. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

  “And the concert tomorrow?”

  “Not at all.”

  Haley bit her lower lip and imagined Mia onstage, without the self-conscious hunch, the feeling of being cast and recast as someone else by herself and other people. It was hard. “We’re not going to be able to tell you who you are by tomorrow, I think. But let’s try and get you through? Show them something maybe you haven’t seen in yourself?”

  When Mia finally did sit down, it was on the floor. For a moment Haley thought Mia had collapsed; she lazily dropped down, joint by joint. But she was okay.

  “What’s it gonna hurt,” Mia said. “I’ll try anything now.”

  Chapter 25

  Trey hit him first.

  The guy had never done this before, Oliver could tell. He kind of threw himself over, and that was Oliver’s own mistake that first time. Yes, an entire human body was capable of causing more hurt than a fist, but that strategy most likely led to falling. Pain received rather than inflicted. If anything, Oliver caught the guy, preventing him from hurtling right into the table.

  Of course it didn’t seem that way to anyone else.

  Ash screamed. It was a shrill one, like from a horror movie. John and Kari had jumped out of the way when Trey charged, but Kari’s portable keyboard and stand still toppled over as Oliver and Trey backed up into it.

  The few minutes of weight lifting that Oliver got done this weekend wasn’t enough prep for an actual fight. Not that he had ever been ready for one, even when he was actually in one. Adrenaline helped, like it was helping Trey now, and Oliver didn’t exactly have it.

  What he was able to do was grab Trey by the waist and haul him up before he crashed into anything.

  “Get your fucking hands off me!” Trey yelled, kicking. “You are over! You are done!”

  “Oliver!” The voice that cut in was Haley’s, her hands pulling at Trey’s shirt, trying to extricate him from Oliver’s hold. “What the hell!”

  It only worked because she got involved. Trey twisted away from them, grunting, checking his hair as soon as he got his footing back.

  “You’re looking at me like I started it,” Oliver protested. “How’d you even…?”

  Haley wasn’t mad; she was adorably flustered, confused, but not angry. “Kari came and got me. I told her to call hotel security next. And I don’t know, Oliver. Did you start it? You have a record.”

  “I didn’t!”

  “You provoked me!” Trey said. “What else were you expecting, stealing my student like that?”

  Two phones in the room rang simultaneously. A moment later, there was one loud knock and then the door opened, letting in two guys in event security standard black.

  Haley shook her head at them. “Guys, thanks, but I think we’re fine.”

  “Take him away,” Trey said petulantly.

  “Ash, John, please excuse us?”

  Oliver didn’t say anything (learned not to say anything) as Haley took charge of the room and made everyone else leave. Everyone but him, her, and the kid.

  “I don’t need to stay anywhere with him,” Trey said.

  Haley sighed at him. “What happened? I told you to be mature about this and let Oliver be the way he is.”

  Oliver bristled. “Let me what? What exactly is Trey allowing me to do here?”

  “Allowing you to act like you have anything awesome to teach us, asshole,” Trey spat, the rude words losing their sting when delivered by his voice. “Haley, he was sneaking around and telling my student to disrespect me. Don’t we have rules about that?”

  “We don’t have rules about that because no one does that here,” Haley said.

  “And no one did,” Oliver insisted. “Your student asked for my help because she actually needed guidance. Stop wasting our time. We get it. The world kisses your ass.”

  “Like they used to kiss yours, right? And now they don’t anymore?”

  “Trey,” Haley gave him a look that would have held back a wild horse. Oliver was impressed. “I talked to you about this, and you’re obviously going to ignore everything I said. Skip this session and head back to your room, or something.”

  “My room. I get dismissed?”

  “Do you want me to have you escorted?”

  The kid weighed his options and wisely chose to leave without the aid of bouncer dudes. He slammed the door behind him.

  Haley rubbed her eyes with her closed fists. “Holy shit.”

  Oliver smiled at her. He was turned on by all of this, truth be told. “Does this happen often?”

  “Once or twice.”

  “Will it mess up everyone’s schedule if he quits?”

  Haley shrugged. “There’s tonight’s performance left. And tomorrow’s concert. Ash can practice with me, or you, if he ditches. The kids will be disappointed if he’s not at the concert tomorrow, but we won’t have the Trey Girls across the street anymore, at least.”

  They were alone in the room, and he felt it was not inappropriate to hook her arm in his and pull her closer. “Hey.”

  She fell to
ward him in a welcoming way. “Yeah.”

  “Should I apologize for anything?”

  “No. I don’t even know why you’re spending so much time with him. You obviously clash.”

  He cleared his throat, and by then she was leaning against it, her head resting right on it. “Certain people encouraged me to come this weekend to pitch something to Trey specifically.”

  Oliver felt her tense up slightly, but she didn’t pull away. “What does that mean?”

  “It means there are people whose livelihoods count on me and Trey becoming good friends today.”

  She laughed, and he felt it against his chest. “Well, you screwed that up. Can I help?”

  “We were delaying the inevitable,” Oliver said mostly to himself. “All of us. Making nice with the kid isn’t going to change anything.”

  This time she moved. He saw her look up at him, saw those dark eyes of hers, and she went on tiptoe to kiss him once, softly. “So what happens now?”

  “I don’t know. We accept that our lives are going to change. Some things don’t last forever.”

  She was biting at her bottom lip again, and it made him take a nip at it, too.

  “That’s true for everyone, eventually,” Haley said.

  Chapter 26

  “I feel like I should be wearing a puffy shirt.”

  Haley laughed despite the dread building up in her belly. Maybe she had left out the tiny detail that her special dinner with Logan was actually going to be at the Renaissance fair. It had registered with her only as a matter of where and when, and she tried to push to the back of her mind why it would be significant.

  Logan liked the Renaissance fair. It was open for only a specific time period per year. (Beer, food, costumes. How could it suck?) He did once cheat on her with someone who worked as a waitress in one of the concession stalls who spent her days dressed as a wench. This was supposed to mean something to her, how?

  Maybe Logan was hoping to redeem this place. They had, after all, spent some time in this annual fair together from back when they were hanging out in high school. It seemed like the thing to do when you had friends who unironically watched the staged jousts featuring actors playing medieval knights.

  “I told you it would be entertaining,” she said, ushering him in through the gate that resembled a huge castle entrance. “You've never been here? Even when you were a kid?”

  “Was this here when I was a kid?”

  “It feels like this has been here forever.”

  Oliver’s eyes still followed the pirate lady who welcomed them inside. “I don't think she's from the Renaissance.”

  Haley pointed at the Star Fleet officer who walked past them. “He's not from the period either.”

  Oliver paused to identify the music being piped in through the “castle” speakers. “You'd think they'd go with Ockeghem or Obrecht at least.”

  Haley knew where she needed to go and gently pushed Oliver in the opposite direction. “No one here cares about your nerdiness. Please go enjoy yourself. And check your phone in case I need you.”

  He looked like he wanted to say something, and she was surprised to see him grab on to her hand. “Hey.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Good luck.”

  She realized then that she had been holding her breath. “Oh. Yeah, thank you.” Behind Oliver, something big and red sort of rustled and then swiped past him—a giant peacock. “Not from the Renaissance at all,” she said.

  “This actually looks like a cool place we should have been hanging out in,” he said.

  “Then you’ll enjoy yourself.”

  “So what exactly can I do here?”

  “Eat a giant turkey leg. Or funnel cake. Buy a sword.”

  “Funnel cake,” Oliver said wistfully.

  “Are you Oliver Cabrera?” A dad and two small kids approached them. “Would you mind having a picture taken with us?”

  “Will you take me to get funnel cake?” he said smoothly, the charm back on like rock bottom never happened.

  Haley backed away from them then and made her way to the water garden.

  ***

  It might reek of cheese to do anything romantic at a Renaissance fair, but Haley knew people who were that kind of cheesy. She didn't think Logan would be, but she had given up on Logan being a lot of things.

  And there they were. At the Venetian-inspired water garden at the fair, closed off from the rest of the fair-goers. Candles floated on tiny boats in the central fountain. Candles on the faux stone steps, creating a path that led to an ivy-covered arch that stood over a table set for two.

  Wait. This was too romantic and cheesy.

  Logan was standing there, right under the arch, and he looked as handsome as he did on the first day of sophomore year. Haley almost wanted for the years in between not to have existed, because this would have been so much easier if they didn't.

  He greeted her with a nice-enough kiss on the cheek. He wasn't sure how this would go either. He only for a moment noted that she was in shorts and flip-flops, which looked mildly disrespectful compared to how everything was prepared.

  “You're here,” Logan said. She detected some relief in that. “How was performance night?”

  “Today?” Did he really want to know? How would she start telling him about Mia, Trey attacking Oliver, and everything else? “It was fine.”

  “Haley?”

  “Yes?”

  “Please sit down?”

  God. She was standing there, talking, not sitting. Not getting comfortable. Logan looked good though. Haley coughed and inched toward the seat that was reserved for her. It was ornate and heavy and felt cold against her hand. From behind the wall, a server came out and filled her champagne glass. She watched it fizz lightly, pretty against the delicate candlelight.

  “So,” she said. “Special dinner.”

  ***

  There was one time in her life when she thought she and Logan would be together forever: her high school graduation ball. Cass and the yearbook club organized it. It turned out to be better than the prom, not just because it wasn’t held at the gym and the food didn’t remind them of the cafeteria’s. By that time, specifically the day after they had graduated, Haley felt that her life was turning out the way it should. She knew she was going to St. Thomas, and that Logan was too, and that they were still together.

  For a moment, while slow-dancing in his arms to a song by Plumb, she was proud of herself, knowing that she made all the decisions that certain people would find sane. The restlessness wasn’t there. For once, everything was self-explanatory, and she finally got to tell herself to relax.

  That night was a highlight in her long relationship with Logan, and they both knew it. Even he seemed like he was finally settled for once, comfortable in the fact that he was in a relationship, and at that time the longest one he’d had.

  College and everything new about it tested their relationship and eventually broke it, but for that brief moment, they were both okay with each other and what they had.

  Haley kept trying to get that feeling back, if only to make sure that things would become self-explanatory again, but she couldn’t.

  Also, this ultra-romantic setup was freaking her out. This couldn’t be hey let’s get back together.

  “I can’t,” she told him then, suddenly.

  “I haven’t told you anything,” Logan said.

  “What’s this about then?” Some part of her was curious about the possible groveling. If she really did want a future with Logan, then some groveling from him was worth sitting through. But she was past that point.

  Logan shrugged off his jacket—he was wearing a casual one, but still a little dressy—and dropped it on the table beside his empty plate. “I was going to ask you to stay in Houston.”

  “You don’t need to do all this. I might be back here anyway if I can’t find another job in Florida.”

  “Cass talked to you…she told you she’s settling back here, right? That
she’ll need help with her new business?”

  Haley shook her head. “Finding me a job here isn’t the same as being with you when I’m here. Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

  His tie came off next, falling onto the same spot on the table. “You don't think I know what you've been waiting for all these years?”

  “Please tell me,” she snapped. “I've been asking myself that a lot lately.”

  “Come on, Haley.” His voice had become more soothing, trying to turn this in a different direction. “I'm here. I'm ready. I think it's time for us to accept that this is what's going to happen anyway.”

  “That's nice,” she said. “You’ve accepted that you’re stuck with me. Am I supposed to be flattered?”

  “What are you talking about? You were happy about this, too. You still can be. You know what this is supposed to be about.”

  “What, Logan?”

  “Responsibility. Starting to do the right thing.”

  The words made sense, but they sounded ominous to her. Someone was going to want all of this, the water garden, the candles, the words that made sense. Haley was going to hope she and Logan found each other so she could wish them the best. She told him all of this.

  “You're not thinking straight,” was his response. “It's because he's here.”

  Logan wasn’t aware how accurate that was, with Oliver being somewhere in the same park. But it wasn’t that, was it? Oliver was everywhere else, branded on Haley, and not just him and what they’d done with each other, but what he represented to her. She wasn’t in a settling mindset.

  “Logan, no.”

  “You'll change your mind,” Logan was saying even before she completed her thought. It felt more like something he was telling himself and had probably done so privately in the past already. “You'll take time to think about this, and you'll change your mind.”

  “Let's agree to disagree,” she said, not wanting to argue. “I think it's time that I go.”