His Risk

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  West relaxed. “I realize that. I don’t intend to hurt her.”

  But Calvin knew he would. That was how West was, how the gang was. Their very existence stemmed from the leadership wanting things that hurt other people and brought on lethal consequences. He also knew that because he was no doubt already hurting Alice with his secrets and lies.

  West gestured to the splintered door that was lying nearby. “So who did this?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Huh. Think it could have anything to do with you?” West asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Calvin said, hoping he wasn’t wrong. “If someone is pissed at me, there’s a number of ways to get to me that are a whole lot easier and less messy.”

  “So it’s someone local.”

  “I reckon so,” replied Calvin. “I’ve been looking for any sign of who could have done this as we cleaned, but I haven’t found a thing yet.”

  West’s expression darkened. “What do you still need to do?”

  “I patched the door with Alice’s father. I was hoping this would hold until I had time to replace it. But if you want, we could take care of that now.”

  West nodded slowly. “Sounds good. There’s a builder’s supply off the highway about ten miles back.”

  Calvin thought this was almost too easy. Hoping that he was imagining things, he forced himself to do what he needed to do. “Let’s go and get the measurements. You can see the rest of the damage up close, too.”

  “Who’s the guy the girls are talking to now?” West blurted.

  Calvin turned to follow his gaze. “That is Alice’s brother John.”

  “Her whole family came right over to help . . .”

  “Oh, yeah. As Alice said before, they did and a couple of her students’ parents came, too.”

  Still carefully watching Irene, Alice, and John, West mumbled, “Things are real different here, aren’t they?”

  West looked and sounded completely confused. For the first time since he’d seen the truck pull up, Calvin was able to breathe easily. This was something he could relate to. It was also the first thing that he knew had come direct from West’s heart.

  “Yeah. Things are really different here.” He would have been most comfortable simply leaving it at that, but West was still looking at him for an explanation. Calvin dug a little deeper, trying not to feel like he was betraying part of himself as he began describing the concept of Amish community and family.

  “You see, with the Amish, it’s typical to focus on a church community. It’s made up of anywhere between eight and twelve or fourteen families. Everyone gets real close. The bishops and the church elders determine what is allowed and what isn’t. So all that is real important.”

  West’s expression eased. “It’s like the Kings.”

  It wasn’t. The Kings was made up of a group of men who had joined the club for a variety of reasons, none of them good. Some had been betrayed or hurt by their families. Some men wanted to live a dangerous life. Or an illegal one. About the only thing they did have in common was that joining was for life and leaving wasn’t really an option. That and the fact that there was a group of elders—in the Kings’ case, only one, West—who made all the decisions.

  But because he wasn’t dumb enough to flat-out disagree with West, he tempered his words. “You’re right. It’s a lot like the Kings. Things here are just a lot more secluded.” And legal. And meaningful. “Also, family is everything.”

  “Even when the family isn’t good?”

  “Yeah. Even then. But, um, most are pretty good. I mean, sure, everyone is human and makes mistakes. But by and large most of the Amish parents do right by their kids.”

  “Except for yours.”

  “Yeah. Except for mine.”

  “And Irene’s.”

  That surprised him. “I don’t know about Irene’s family, West.”

  West looked over to where the women were talking, seeming just about to say something. Then he shrugged. “Never mind. It ain’t like it matters.”

  Calvin almost sagged, he was so relieved.

  After getting John’s input and using a measuring tape that he’d brought, Cal and West got the dimensions and walked over to talk to the girls.

  “Irene, we’re going to get Alice a new door,” West said, his voice soft. “You stay here.”

  “All right,” Irene said.

  But because she was Alice, she couldn’t leave well enough alone. “A new door? But that isn’t necessary. You and Daed fixed it just fine.”

  “Not for the long term. This is a good thing,” Calvin said. “Accept the help, okay?”

  She nodded. “All right. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” West said with a smile.

  Calvin would have gaped if he wasn’t so used to covering up his feelings. When they got to the truck, Smith joined them again. “Where do you want me, boss?”

  West glanced Calvin’s way. “You armed?”

  Calvin nodded. “Yeah.” He almost hadn’t put on his gun that morning, but he had learned the hard way that it did no good to ever assume anything was going to go as expected.

  “Smith, Cal’s got my back. You stay here with the women.”

  “Sure thing, boss. You want me to keep my distance or help them out?”

  “I have a feeling they’re going to need all the help they can get.”

  “Sure thing.”

  Calvin noticed Smith didn’t seem all that upset to be hanging out with the women. A flicker of unease trailed down his spine before he pushed it away. Smith was dangerous, a trained killer, and only loyal to one person in the organization. That said, Calvin also knew that members weren’t just loyal to other members, they were loyal to their women as well. Whether they realized it or not, Irene and Alice were now in that group.

  The realization should have shocked him.

  Instead, it felt almost right.

  Chapter 23

  Saturday, February 24

  The moment they were alone inside the school, Alice grabbed Irene’s hand. “Why were you with him?”

  Irene looked uncomfortable. “I thought he was here to see me, but I’m not so sure now. He doesn’t usually bring Mr. Smith.”

  Alice peered out the windows until she spotted the unfamiliar man. He looked to be even bigger than Calvin, was wearing sunglasses, dark boots, and a ski cap. He seemed to be wandering in a circle around her building. But instead of looking for damage, he was looking at the bushes and trees that surrounded it. “He seems odd.”

  Irene chuckled. “That’s because he is odd. I’ve only actually talked to him once before. West says he’s no one for me to be afraid of, though.” Lowering her voice, she said, “Mr. Smith is his bodyguard. Isn’t that something?”

  There were so many things wrong with that statement, Alice hardly knew where to start. “Irene, how many times have you seen this West?”

  “I don’t know. About five.”

  Alice knew Irene was lying. Oh, maybe not about how many times she’d seen him. But she was definitely acting far more offhand about this relationship than it actually was. “I know we’ve both been busy, but why haven’t you ever told me about him?”

  “There wasn’t anything to tell.”

  “Yes, there was. He’s an Englisher. He seems scary. He has a bodyguard. He works with Calvin. I think there’s a lot to tell. Irene, you need to stay away from him,” she said as forcibly as she was able. Why, it was the same tone she used with her tiny students when they ran with scissors!

  When Irene merely lifted one eyebrow, Alice reached for her hand. “Listen to me. He’s not someone for you to be around. He could hurt you.”

  Irene pulled her hand away. “I’ve said the same thing about you. Calvin Fisher isn’t exactly someone you should trust, Alice.”

  “He is completely different. He’s one of us.”

  “Nee. He is not. He was dressed a lot like West and Mr. Smith. He knows them. He works for West doing who knows
what.”

  Remembering how sweet he’d been to her today, remembering how worried he’d been about his brother, she shook her head. “He’s different. He used to live across the street from where my brother lives now.”

  “That don’t mean anything.”

  “Fine. He might not still be Amish, but he knows our ways. His brother is Amish. He’s kind, too.”

  “Do you hear yourself?” Irene asked, exasperated. “You are making him into some kind of hero.”

  “I’m not.” But she couldn’t think of anything else to say about that because a part of her suspected Irene was telling the truth.

  No matter how many ways she could try to make Calvin into someone like her, even she knew that pretending that he wasn’t really like his boss was wrong. Calvin wasn’t like her. Maybe he had never been.

  After glancing outside and seeing that Mr. Smith was now sanding some wood, she continued sorting toys again. “What happened to us, Irene?” she asked quietly. “I thought after our rumspringa we would never stray from what was good and right again.”

  Irene shrugged as she picked up some scissors and started cutting out letter patterns. “I don’t know what happened. Maybe we aren’t actually as good as we think we are. Maybe there’s still a part of us that likes testing the boundaries instead of doing only what is safe and proper.”

  “Do you think that’s why we haven’t married yet?” she blurted.

  Irene chuckled. “Nee. We haven’t married yet because the boys we grew up with turned into men we don’t want to marry.”

  “You may have a point,” she said with a reluctant grin. “Our choices haven’t been all that gut in Horse Cave.”

  “All the good men have been snatched up.”

  She sighed, realizing that even the men who had married hadn’t been for her. With that knowledge came the strong feeling that only one man was for her, and he was extremely unsuitable. “Do you ever think about marrying a man like West?”

  “Nee.”

  Irene had answered that really fast. “Are you sure?”

  “I need to be. I don’t want to marry him.” Looking embarrassed, she said, “I don’t even think he’s the type of man who wants to marry.”

  “You should stop seeing him.”

  “I can’t, Alice. I like being with him too much.” She bit her lip, then said, “Remember when we went off with those English kids and ended up in some apartment complex in Bowling Green?”

  Remembering how helpless she had felt, Alice flinched. “I was so scared. I didn’t know who we could trust.” She lowered her voice. “For a while, I didn’t think we were going to be able to leave.”

  “If we hadn’t met that one guy, things might have gone a lot worse.” Irene wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe it, but I forgot his name. What was it? Adam?”

  “Able. It was Able, and he had grown up Amish. Remember? We kept whispering to each other that God must have sent him to watch over us.”

  Irene looked at her intently. “I think he is why I have been able to trust West. Able looked just like the rest of those creepy kids. He was friends with them . . . but he was different, too. He helped us get out of there without anyone noticing. He put us in his car, and drove us home.”

  “All he said was for us to not go back. He wouldn’t even let us pay him for gas, and the car trip took two hours.”

  “I’m not saying that West is going to be my savior or help me get through anything really hard. But I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt, Alice. I’m determined to not judge him until I know different.”

  “I understand now.”

  Irene’s expression eased. “So you agree with me?”

  “I should. He and Calvin are spending their day replacing the door to my schoolhouse. That says it all.”

  Looking calmer, Irene said, “Who do you think could have done this damage?”

  “I’ve talked to everyone, and I keep saying the same thing. I really have no idea who it could have been.” Looking around the room, she added, “Calvin said he was worried about me. He is afraid that someone is really mad and might come to my house next. Well, Edward’s house.”

  “I hope not.”

  “Me, too,” Alice said fervently.

  “Do you want to stay in my apartment with me? You can if you’d like. I’d love the company.”

  “Danke, but I am not going to let a bunch of what-ifs drive me away. Plus, I feel pretty safe at Edward’s house. Calvin is right across the street.”

  Though it was obvious that Irene wanted to do some probing of her own about Calvin, she simply nodded.

  Which gave Alice the feeling that at least one part of her life was still the same. No matter what happened, or what direction either of them eventually went, they would always have each other.

  Chapter 24

  Saturday, February 24

  They’d stayed at the school another two hours. West helped install the new door, sweep the floors, and haul a bunch of debris to the dump. It had been a long time since he’d done physical labor like that.

  Thinking about it, West mentally corrected himself. It hadn’t been labor, exactly. His mother would have called them chores.

  Allowing himself to picture her, he almost smiled. His mother cursed like a sailor, favored bleached blond hair, too-tight clothes, and was the hardest worker he’d ever known. She’d also been a particular fan of giving her four children chores to keep them out of trouble. It was too bad that hadn’t worked out all that well.

  Realizing that thoughts of home would only bring on sleepless nights, he turned to look at Irene, sitting beside him in the car.

  She was as different from his mother and his two sisters as could be . . . except that she seemed to possess that same hidden iron will that they’d had in spades. Maybe that was what drew him to her. Or it could have been her beauty. She was such a pretty thing.

  As if she was feeling his gaze on her, she smiled at him tentatively. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” He didn’t bother to explain himself. There was no need for her to know the things that filled his head.

  After searching his expression, she nodded, then faced front. Seemingly content with the silence.

  He’d never been a big talker, but West knew that this was bothering her. And because he knew that he was about to hurt her, he elected to stay silent.

  It wasn’t much, but it was something, he figured.

  IRENE USUALLY ENJOYED being alone with West. He was attentive and asked questions about her and her life, like he really cared. Sometimes he was quiet, but he didn’t brood like he was doing now, during the entire time in the car. He remained quiet even as they walked to her apartment. Feeling dismayed—especially after the way she’d defended him to Alice—she turned to him after he helped her unlock her door. “Well, good night—”

  “Can I come in for a minute before I go?”

  “Are you sure you want to?”

  He looked down at his boots before meeting her gaze. “I know I was pretty quiet during the drive over here. Sorry.”

  “Well, all right, then.” After West followed her inside, she turned on the lone gaslight in the main room, then leaned out the door to West’s bodyguard, who was standing on the stoop. “Smith, would you like to come inside, too? It’s awfully cold out.”

  He looked at her in surprise before shaking his head. “Thanks, doll, but I’m fine right here.”

  “Would you like some coffee? I could make some.”

  Before Mr. Smith could answer, West guided her back inside. “I’ll bring him some coffee when I’m on my way out.”

  “Okay.” Realizing then that she needed to go make that coffee, she smiled nervously. “Want to come into the kitchen with me?” Even as she said it, she felt herself blush. Her kitchen was simply the back corner of her apartment. The whole place was barely four hundred square feet. Even her bed was right there for anyone to see. Thank goodness she believed in making it neatly every morning.

>   He didn’t answer, just continued to look around as he followed her across the space. He leaned on the other side of the kitchen counter while she prepared the percolator.

  Looking at it closely, he said, “I’ve never seen one of those outside of the old movies.”

  “It’s all I’ve ever used at home. The diner has a regular drip coffee maker.”

  “You ever wish you had that here?”

  “Not really.”

  “No?”

  “This makes good coffee, and that’s what really counts. And as far as doing without goes, this is nothing—compared to, say, not having a cell phone or a computer.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  Now that they only had to wait for the coffee to brew, she walked around the counter so it wasn’t in between them. The moment the barrier was gone, she felt better. Closer.

  Irene had no idea why this man had made such an impression on her, but he had. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told Alice that she couldn’t imagine they’d be friends for anything other than a short amount of time.

  But she hadn’t felt compelled to tell Alice that she hoped West felt the same way . . . or that she was pretty sure she was going to be disappointed when their friendship had run its course.

  “Did you want to talk about anything in particular, West?”

  “Yeah.” Looking at her intently, he said, “Seeing you and your friend Alice today . . . well, I’m afraid Calvin and me might have given you the wrong impression.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. Irene, I don’t want you to expect that there can ever be anything between us.”

  His statement hurt. “‘Anything’ covers a lot of ground,” she said lightly, hoping that she was fooling him at least a little bit.

  He narrowed his eyes. “Are you teasing me?”

  “Maybe a little.” When he continued to glare, she smiled. “Maybe a lot.”

  “Oh, Irene.”

  And . . . there went another little zing of pain. She loved moments like this. Moments when they seemed so close. When she did or said something that caught him off guard. She had a feeling that such things rarely happened to him.