Slow Burn (The Burn Series Book 4)

by Dee Ellis

  It didn’t hurt. Nothing more than my pride because it yanked the three of us into a little bubble of baby-Levi-honey-bacon smelling bliss. Levi smirked and reached out, smoothing his large hand over my braid and taking her hand with it.

  “Come on, honey. Look at that face, huh? Or better yet, look at my face, yeah? Look at how Goddamn adorable we are, and try to turn us down.” Levi’s eyes were bright, almost electric blue, his smile crooked and my heart ached. As did the heat between my legs, but I digress.

  “Shut up. Give me that baby.” I cooed, holding my hands out. Levi obeyed, tossing two twenties on the counter before ushering us out.

  I ignored his hand on the small of my back as he followed me out. Ignored when it slid lower, like it had yesterday. His big hand gripped tightly once, lifting a cheek in his hand before it fell away.

  I could not ignore the way his fingers passed just briefly between my legs as he smoothed his hand back up to my hip. Sly mother fucker. Levi chuckled beside me, lowering his lips to my ear.

  “Said I’d try, baby. Didn’t say I might be very good at it. You smell fucking amazing by the way.” Levi traced his nose up my neck, his lips hot at the curve of my ear and I shuddered.

  “Stop it.” It was a weak lie of a protest and he knew it.

  “I love that little shudder you get when I touch you. I fucking love it.” I twisted to glare at him; pretty sure I failed and I looked like a panting slut, but what can you do?

  “Behave Levi or I swear to God...” I cradled Amelia close to my chest as we headed for the L.

  “I am trying, honey. I’m just not as good at it as you are, Brynn.” I bowed my head, letting Amelia toy with my braid, breathing in her sweet, fresh scent.

  “Never said it was easy.” I murmured softly, refusing to look his way.

  “You got good at it though. I deserve it. Earned it, didn’t I?” Again, he was touching me, hand at the small of my back, guiding me through the busy streets.

  This time, I didn’t shudder. I didn’t give him what he wanted. But, I didn’t ignore how it felt. The weight of his hand on the small of my back. The burn of his fingertips at the curve of my hip. And the subtle press of his hard body against my side. I might have loved it more than he claimed to love my show of weakness earlier.

  I am not a fool and yet I do foolish things. Like press closer to him as we walked, pretending it was the crowd’s fault. Or holding his heated gaze as we waited on the platform. Letting him slide close once we boarded, his arm slung over my shoulders. I watched him coo and talk to his daughter and I could image a thousand more stupid, foolish things I could do.

  Like let this become something we both know it can’t be. Pretend we could pick up where we left off that morning four months ago. Act as if the past four months didn’t matter. That Levi carrying on as if that weekend never happened didn’t matter. Those were the foolish things that crossed my mind as we rode that train to his house. The three of us, like we were something.

  It hurt and I was letting it hurt. Masochist. I was a Goddamned masochist. It always hurt when I saw cute little babies, happy families, little girls the same age mine would be now. I never considered a family after giving mine away. I knew I didn’t deserve it.

  Now, here I was, letting myself play family with a man I can’t trust and a baby that could never be mine. I almost slide the baby back to Levi, exit that train and get the fuck out of Chicago. Until I see her.

  Across from us, a woman watches us. I don’t miss the flash of envy on her pretty face. She must be in her forties, her ring finger bare and her eyes sad. Levi spots her too, tossing a polite nod. Suddenly he leans down, pressing a kiss atop Amelia’s curls, his eyes on mine.

  Lord help me. Levi Holt might not know about the family I gave up. Doesn’t know about the one that cut me out of their lives. Somehow, he knows I crave one though. He might have known it before I did. Seeing as I’m just realizing it that very moment.

  Levi offers me a secretive smile that heats my blood and makes my pulse leap. His big hand smooths over Amelia’s head as we watch each other. As he lets me hold his child while he holds me. There’s something in those sparkling blue eyes that scares the shit out of me, even as I ignore what’s behind it.

  I can ignore it. I can pretend. What choice do I have? Doesn’t matter that Levi seems to want to give me his family. Because, I can’t have them.

  5

  LEVI

  Think Brynn and I needed to chat about her lying to me. Firstly, the girl was about as transparent with me as glass. Secondly, the little lies she fed me hardly had the desired effect. The lies were really just about deflection. Brynn was hiding something because she thought it might change the way we saw her. Nothing could change how I saw this woman.

  Like how fucking perfect she looked right now. In my place, cuddled with my daughter in my favorite chair. Her thick red waves were tangled in a cute braid that Amelia would not leave alone. Her face was free of makeup, like it usually was, but her lips were full and pink and fuck, I wanted to kiss them. I watched as she pressed them lightly against the baby’s head. Brynn’s pretty jade eyes fluttered when she breathed Amelia’s sweet, fresh scent in.

  “Always wonder why babies smell so good. They all smell the same, too. I mean, soon they get their own scent, your house, the shampoo you use, detergent. At first though, they all smell this way and it’s one of the most comforting smells ever.” Brynn trailed off, as if being so open had been an accident. I watched it though, saw her features soften, her voice go honey sweet and Jesus, it was beautiful.

  “I don’t know if I ever smelled a baby before now. You are right though. Something about it is very comforting. Amelia seems to like how good you smell too.” I chuckled when her freckled face flushed soft pink.

  I liked those freckles the moment I saw her at Hunter’s parent’s place. Brynn had fair skin, but it was creamy and perfect and those freckles were sprinkled just so across her nose and the apples of her cheeks.

  I knew from experience not just the sun made them pop out. I knew if she got shy, or got turned on, they were impossible to miss. I spent three days doing adoring those spots and all the ways that made them show up. Brynn hated that they gave her away, I knew, like litmus on her skin.

  Right now, they were prominent but no more so than the lovely pink tone to her creamy skin. Amelia nestled into her neck, fists clutching at the top she wore, face pressed into Brynn’s neck. Damn that sight, that beautiful woman holding that adorable little baby, my daughter, did shit to me I never expected.

  Yesterday, it made me want to see Brynn pregnant. Crazy, maybe. Now I could almost see her belly round, tits swollen, perfect glow on her gorgeous face. The woman drove me crazy and I don’t think she had a clue.

  “Don’t mind the cuddles, I can’t lie.” Brynn is in fact glowing, her smile wide and eyes bright.

  I sink into the couch across from her, nodding towards the mostly unpacked baby haul from last night. I don’t know how to set up Amelia’s room, and truly wanted her input. Something tells me Brynn will set it up better for Amelia than I ever could. Bonus, I get her in my place for as long as I can make this task last. It’s a win-win.

  “Think we can turn my spare room into something good enough for the nugget?” I smile when said nugget cooes up at Brynn.

  “I for one, am willing to try. Because every little Princess needs her own domain, right? Hmm, Princess?” Brynn talks to her like they understand each other, and when Amelia giggles back, I think maybe they do.

  “Got her bassinet set up in my room for now, and the spare room is mostly empty. If you want to feed her, I can finish moving what’s left to the garage. Then we can start with a blank canvas.” Brynn nods, twisting the baby on her lap and cradling her just so.

  I bring the diaper bag to her, where there’s plenty of diapers, wipes and two bottles I prepped just before we left. I might not have a clue about how to be a father, not yet, but I’m a smart guy and just a little research
told me how to prep that Owl diaper bag Brynn picked out last night. Baby steps, I can handle.

  “Look at you Captain Prepared. I am impressed, Levi. Let me feed her then maybe put the little Princess down for a nap.” Brynn suggests, and I love that idea. I like having my nugget around, even though it’s all brand new, but a little alone time with Brynn sounds fucking awesome.

  “Little thing does like her sleep. Think I got lucky with her.” I watch Brynn smile at me, a bright, full smile.

  “Most guys might not agree, Levi. You are an interesting creature, aren’t you?” I lean forward towards her from my perch on the low, wide ottoman.

  “You know I am, baby.” Our eyes meet, but I take in her reaction. The way her breath catches, the way her eyes darken just slightly. I love it. Love that look on her.

  “Behave.” Brynn is still smiling as she settles back into the recliner, tucking her long legs beneath her.

  Amelia takes the bottle Brynn offers eagerly. For a moment, I just watch them. Brynn clearly has some idea what she’s doing, more than me. I know part of this thing is selfishness on my part. I hope I can earn a second shot. But, seeing them together, I can’t help but feel it’s good for both of them, too.

  Brynn softens the moment she sees Amelia, and my little nugget latches right on to Brynn. I might have said it as a way to convince her to stay, to angle myself that second chance, but I meant it. Amelia needs Brynn.

  It takes some willpower, but I leave them be for a while. I began emptying my spare room last night, so there’s little left to do. I’d used it as a home gym before, a weight tier and a weight bench, a few free weights and a heavy bag took up the space.

  It got little use and I was kind of looking forward to changing the space into Amelia’s space. Brynn didn’t know it yet, but this was her show now; I trusted her and hoped she could help mold not just this space, but myself into the right place for Amelia.

  After my last trip to the garage, I found Brynn in the newly empty room. For a moment, I got to watch her without her realizing it. I savored it. Brynn tried so hard to be guarded, often failing with me, so to see her so open was beautiful. I could see her thinking, considering, creating the room that would be Amelia’s in her mind.

  “Tell me what we should do, Brynn. Do we want to paint? I saw you kind of chose a theme, it would seem.” I nodded to the bags of baby items they had chosen yesterday.

  Though I stood back and let them make most the picks last night, I paid attention. I might not know what some of it was, but I knew they thought we needed it. By the second aisle of shopping, Brynn had silently taken over the choosing of items.

  There was an obvious Owl theme in her choices; the diaper bag, for instance, the pink and brown bedding she picked for the crib. I liked the idea that Brynn wanted to decorate how she saw fit. Didn’t make sense that I liked it, but I did. I’d tear the walls down and put them back up however Brynn wanted, for Amelia.

  “Could we paint?” Brynn spun in the center of the room to face me.

  “We can. If you want to, we will. Is the nugget sleeping?” I took two steps into the room, waiting for her to take the same back.

  “Like a Princess.” Brynn whispers softly, her eyes changing once again.

  Two more steps into the room I go. Brynn doesn’t retreat. The bags of baby items line the wall behind her. I only see her, though. Two more steps. I can feel the room thicken with every step I take. I see the tremor that works its way through her just before I’m right in front of her. Fuck, I love that.

  “Behave.” Brynn says, her voice thick and really lacking any thread of conviction.

  “I said I would try to behave, honey. This is me trying.” My eyes close as I breath deep; Brynn smells like vanilla cookies and babies and something spicy and sexy. Delicious.

  Brynn doesn’t move away, so I press closer. My hands slide over the curves of her rounded hips, moving to her backside. You might call me an ass man. Except, Brynn’s ass, tits, hips, thighs, every part of her, does shit to me.

  Makes me want things that would have her marching out right now. My fingers dig into her backside, hiking her knee length dress up with the move. I feel the heat of her thighs press against mine. I notch myself between her thighs and lower my head. Just enough I can look into her eyes.

  “How...does this resemble you behaving, Levi?” Fuck, I love the way she says my name with that eastern accent.

  “Oh, honey. If I was not behaving, I’d have these panties off and some part of me inside you.” My fingers yank at the lace that curves over her ass and she makes a sound. It’s not a moan of contempt, or even of pleasure. It’s a hiss, hot against my mouth.

  “Levi. Don’t ruin...” The hard slap of my hand on her ass cuts her off and makes us both moan.

  “I won’t, baby. I won’t ruin this. Not for her. Not for you. Just...know that it’s just some epic level willpower I am showing now. I fucked up once, Brynn. I won’t do it again. I don’t repeat my mistakes.” My mouth brushes over hers as I talk.

  Fuck, I can taste her. Minty and sweet, like Doublemint. I feel her tongue come out to trace her full lips and I linger. Let it drag across mine too. Brynn gasps and my teeth nip at her bottom lip. Her hips are bucking slowly. Rocking her pussy against my aching dick. I don’t think she even realizes she’s moving. Or she’s a Goddamn minx who knows the power she wields over me.

  “How about pink?” I whisper softly, hands still gripping her to hold her close.

  I don’t want to ruin it for Amelia. I don’t want to ruin it for Brynn. And I sure as shit don’t want to ruin it for me. I’m thinking about paint colors and carpet and maybe a new light.

  Anything to stop me; from doing what I threatened and ripping those lacy panties off and sinking deep inside her. Anything to stop myself from ruining it. I hold her close, though, because now that I’ve felt her against me again, I don’t know if I can let her go.

  “Pink is good. With brown. Like the owls.” That voice of hers is husky still and my dick jerks in my jeans, but I behave.

  I do not lower my head and lick her full, sexy fucking mouth. I do not hoist her up, force her long legs around me and pound up into her. I do not ruin this. I smile and nod as my thumbs circle the dimples on her lower back. I fucking love those, especially on her.

  Her hourglass figure is perfection and it’s rubbing against me, and her pussy is so hot against my cock, and I know she’s wet, and fuck, I want her. But I want more this time. I nod again and lift slowly, so slowly I watch her eyes darken then go normal.

  “Pink and brown it is then. Do we paint now or later?” I don’t move away from her completely, but let my eyes circle the room.

  Right now, it is a light gray, almost white, with slate hardwood floors. Total bachelor room. The walls are bare and the two windows are covered with gray shades. Amelia’s room needs a feminine touch, I believe.

  “How can we paint now?” Brynn quirks a brow and I reach a hand up, tracing its arch.

  “I can hit Sherwin Williams down the block. Tell me what to get. You stay here with the Princess. I think the two of us can knock it out in a few hours, yeah?” My fingertips linger on her face, tracing her cute nose and the apples of her cheeks.

  “Perhaps. Didn’t know I signed up to be a slave.” Brynn reaches out, the hands that had hung at her sides grasping both sides of my t-shirt and shoving playfully.

  “Oh, baby, don’t talk dirty to me like that. Just thinking of you as my slave...” My fingers tighten around her neck, thumb pressing into the hollow as my hips thrust against her.

  I might be wrong, but I feel like Brynn might like the idea as much as I do. Her breath is hot against my mouth as she lets out a sound that has my dick harder than I thought possible. Her tits are heavy and the nipples are clear through the thin cotton of her dress.

  I consider dipping my head, letting my mouth suck them through the fabric. I don’t. I promised to behave. That would not resemble behaving. I swat my hand at her ass again, t
he crack echoing in the empty room. Her eyes flare, the pupils widening and I can feel her pulse thrum against my fingers.

  We break away at the exact same moment. Amelia cries softly and Brynn is out the door and down the hall to her before I can blink. I take a moment, breathing in the air that smells like her still. That almost tastes like her. Not just her perfume or shampoo; the want and need that got hot between her legs.

  I adjust myself and head down the hall, ducking my head in. Brynn is beside the bassinet, cooing and singing. Singing. To my daughter. Fuck me, I am toast.

  After a trip to the paint store and a few more hundred dollars dropped, I come home to my girls. I find Brynn waiting in the baby’s room, every single package opened and the trash neatly tied in a black trash bag in the corner. I like this for two reasons.

  One, I hate disorder, and my place shows it. Two, it means she walked around my place with ease, found her way through things. I like that. I also like how I find her when I step into the room. Gone is the dress that was driving me crazy. In its place?

  One of my wife beaters and a pair of jogging pants. Fuck me.

  “That was fast. I love to paint actually, so I am excited. Look at you coming back prepared, huh?” Brynn calls, rapid-fire, sitting in the middle of the room with instructions neatly lined up around her.

  “Look at you, just as prepared. Not promising I can behave with you wearing my shit, Brynn.” I love the flush that tints her skin, from her ears to the swell of cleavage my tank top shows off.

  “Attempt to anyway. Don’t ruin it, remember, Levi?” Brynn bounces to her feet, my eyes focus on her tits and she makes a face at me.

  “I will attempt to, beautiful. I promise.”

  I do my best, too. After I change into a similar outfit—tank top and basketball shorts—we get started. I lay out the drop cloths while she covers the new furniture we will assemble later. I don’t miss the sway of her hips or the way she looks bent over, but I behave. I pretend to miss the way she looks at me, her eyes linger at my shoulders and forearms. I still behave. Then we start to paint.