Slow Burn (The Burn Series Book 4)

by Dee Ellis

  “Levi...” I love how she says my name, as if her lips form the letters differently than anyone else.

  “Mmm, you know. I decided. Amelia is our Princess, yeah,” Brynn nods her head as my hands skim up her calves, “Makes you my queen, doesn't it? Like I said earlier, think I ought to start treating you like it.” My dick is hard already but when she gives me that shudder, it gets impossibly harder.

  Slowly, my hands work over her body. Starting at her ankles, I massaged her calves, her thighs. Kissed her instep, the spot behind her knee that makes her giggle. Lavish a deep, slow kiss at her pussy. Bite her hip, lick the marks I leave. Suckle her nipples into my mouth.

  I turn her over, crawling over her, my knees at her hips. My hands never stop moving. Never stop touching her. Learning what spot makings her shiver. Which spot raises goosebumps on her flesh. I rip her panties off, kissing away the marks I leave. Bite new ones into her plump ass, lick her swollen folds, savoring her taste. I just circle her tiny starfish ass when she comes the first time.

  “Fuck....Levi...baby.” I smile against her and do it all over again.

  Brynn comes two more times, once with my tongue buried inside her pussy, and when I pump two fingers inside her and a third into her ass. All before I ever take my dick out. It’s not actually me who takes him out, in fact. She shoves a hand between her legs after shoving up on her knees.

  Glancing back at me like the sexiest nanny I've ever seen, she guides me to her hot pussy and shoves back. I see stars. It’s just a few strokes of me bare inside her again before I shove her flat against the bed, pumping myself into her. We both moan as I fill her again.

  Afterwards, I carry her to the bath. It soothes my aching joints and she's hot as fuck all slippery and soapy. We stay in until the water goes cold; I empty it and refill it and take my time washing her. Before I let her out, she rides my hand to another orgasm; after I towel her off, she drops to her knees and returns the favor.

  Brynn is in bed brushing her wet hair out. In my CFD shirt, filled with my come and my promises when I see it. Her phone lit up with a call. From Boston, again. I shake away the dread I feel and join her in bed. I can't help but mention it though, and she cringes when I do.

  “Boston,” I said, my chest aching at the idea of her having a home somewhere else, “I said it's not an option. Tell me you know that. Honey, tell me you know you can't even consider your home being anywhere else but here. With me and Amelia.” Brynn bows her head, taking a slow breath as that ache spreads.

  “I don't want to go back. I never meant to.... how could I know you were here? That you could change everything? I know you want to protect me. Protect us. You can't protect me from Boston. It was selfish of me to think you could.” Brynn sets her brush aside, going up on her knees to face me.

  “I will do whatever it takes to keep my family safe. You are my family, Brynn. Whatever it takes. I am okay building this thing with you a brick at a time. I can't do it if you don't let me in enough to build the walls high enough to protect us, honey.” Brynn looks at me, her eyes soft and a little sad and it kills me. I don't know if she will give me what I need to protect her.

  “I build things, Levi. It's what I do. I am so Goddamn good at it; most people can't see the cracks or shitty foundation. You do though. No one else.... only Lola and my mother know about Abbi. And, now you. I am giving you the bricks, Levi.” Brynn reaches out to me, her words doing nothing to soothe me.

  “A brick at a time, then.”

  Killed me that my girl couldn't just tear her walls down with me, but I meant it. I would rebuild us a brick at a time, if that's what it took.

  Two days after baby Byrne entered the world, I was quite sure my own world might be in trouble. I came home from work to find every single wall in the house, except Amelia’s room, bare. Drop cloths covered the kitchen counters and hardwood floors. Brynn was painting the cream walls a lovely gray, her cute ass in my sweats and tank top again.

  “Umm...honey. What are we doing here?” We had not discussed painting. Let alone a complete remodel of our place.

  A few days after we finished Amelia's room, I had walked into something similar. But, Lola had been there, painting a tree mural on the wall. It was perfect and fucking adorable. Brynn was so excited as she pointed out the pink and brown owls that were me and Amelia. This....this is different.

  “Got bored. Thought since we painted Amelia's room, might as well do the whole house. Like this color, you think?” I did, actually, like the color.

  Brynn had four shades of gray painted on the wall, and was asking me about one shade in particular. Isabel had hired painters to do the place when we first moved in. Then a decorator friend—instead of Regan Cooper, Cage's sister, who I'd asked to help us. I had no say whatsoever in how my place looked. Though I was surprised to come home to it in chaos, I liked that she was asking me.

  “I do, actually. Come here. Give me something.” Brynn giggles and tips her head back, giving me the sweetness of her mouth.

  We don't paint much that day. We do get dirty though. Her ass prints end up on the wall and I argue that I don't want her to paint over it. She does though; and then the kitchen. The bedroom. Even the hall.

  I come home one day to the furniture being gone. I pinned her to the cold hardwood and fucked her after she asked to go look for a new set together. A few days later, it's a new bedroom set.

  “Either my girl is going through some kind of crisis or she just won the lottery. Every day it's something new at our place.” Hunter is back and as he's my go-to for relationship shit, I ask him about it during a call.

  “Man...my first wife replaced my couch ten times. We agreed on one and I found her fucking the carpenter on it a few weeks later. I hated that fucking couch.” Cold washes over me, but I know better.

  Brynn is not Isabel. From the beginning, this thing has felt different. I married Isabel not because of love, although I did care about her, but just because I thought it would make it stick. What I have with Brynn, what I feel for her, it will always stick with me, wedding ring or not. I realize suddenly, we never talk about the future and I wonder if I should be asking those questions.

  “Maybe she wants to get married?” I wondered out loud.

  “Then marry her. Married the wrong girl once. Might do you good to marry the right one this time, man.” Hunter shrugs as if it really is that simple.

  “I love her. I love her with my daughter. Those girls...I would die for them. I just can't.... I can't get through to her how impossible we are to deny. I don't have all of her yet because part of her is holding on to Boston.” I winced as I said the truth out loud.

  Boston feels like the lover who broke her heart that I can't compete with. It was her home, the place she wanted to make a life and now it’s over. Brynn won't tell me why she doesn't want to go back. I wish the family Amelia and I offer is her only reason, but I know better.

  Something won't let her go and I thought, at first, that it was someone else. Lola insists that’s impossible. Brynn can be evasive with details. I do think a lover waiting in the wings would have come up, though.

  “Levi...ever think Brynn doesn't let go of that place because she doesn't know what to hold on to here?” Our rig pulls up to a small fire and I blink at it.

  Shit. Right there on the curb, I kiss Hunter Brynn on the cheek. Cage and Finn wolf whistle and the rest of the guys applaud. Hunter is fuming but I just smile because he just righted my world again.

  “Let’s put this fire out, boys! I got a family to get home to!”

  After we do put that fire out, I can't wait to get home to my girls. No matter what I walk into, how it might look today, that is our home. I didn't think I needed to tell Brynn that. Now, I realize I do. Brynn is in limbo because of Boston; I demand she stay but never said I wanted her to stay here, with me and Amelia.

  “Honey, I'm home!” Damn, it feels good to say that when I come home a few hours later.

  “In the bedroom. Amelia i
s with Gwen, baby. Come look.” I head down the hall, noting some new artwork is hanging on the walls.

  “Mmm, my queen.” I press into her from behind, the little box in my pocket reminding me what I need to ask.

  “Hey, baby. I missed you.” Brynn lets me hold her as I survey the new room.

  Brynn texted me all morning about our new bedroom set. We picked it out a few nights ago and she was so excited to have it delivered and set up today. When I got home, she was just finishing with the new bedspread she picked out to match the gray and teal look she seems to be going for. I like it and what's more, I like that she's letting me be part of it. We're both building this castle.

  “I like it, honey. You did good, Brynn.” I do like it, more than the set Isabel chose without my input.

  “Thank you, baby. It's so pretty, right? Looks good with the gray.” Brynn twists in my arms, a look of pride on her beautiful face.

  Fuck, I love her so Goddamn much. I want to lock her away in this castle so I know we can make this fairytale come true. I want to give her and Amelia the entire world, and I want to do it right now.

  “I love it. I love that you made this place yours. Because it is, Brynn. I am yours. Amelia is yours. This family is yours. Now, so is the castle.” I produce the plastic box that has the keys I rushed to have made.

  “Levi? What...what is this?” I back her towards the bed and go down on my knees; I laugh when her eyes go wide.

  “Oh honey...I promise when I ask you to be my wife, I will not be dirty and covered in soot and you will not be covered in paint. Although, I like you dirty, baby. I want you to know you have a home here, now.” Brynn takes the box and opens to find the keys, her eyes flashing.

  “Uh....what do...I mean.... what?” I take the keyring out and close her fingers around it.

  “Move in with me. Make every room in this house yours. Ours. Don't go back to Boston. Ever.”

  I expect the fear that flashes in her eyes. The hesitation. Brynn is holding on tight to Boston to protect herself. And, to protect Amelia and me from getting hurt again. It's another reason I love her; she put us first. So, I expect asking her to move in with us might scare her a little.

  What I do not expect is rage.

  “Move in with you? Why?” I'm sick at the tone of her question, the storming anger in her eyes.

  “Uh....because I want you to live with us. Want you to call my home your home. I mean...I thought you wanted that too?” Brynn shoves to her feet and I stumble back, still on my knees.

  “Levi, I do. I mean...I think I do. Levi...I don't...how can I? I don't even live in Chicago; Boston is my home.” Bitter anger floods me and I shoot to my feet, unable to rein it in.

  “Bullshit, Brynn. I am your home. Amelia is your home. Your family is your home. You keep half your shit at Lola's place and half here, just to hold on to that bullshit escape clause. I want you here, with us. I want us to make a fucking life together. I thought...all this, I thought you wanted the same things.” My arms sweep out to indicate the entire house that she has changed in the last two weeks.

  “All this....” Brynn looks around and I feel the air change between us.

  “You painted every room, took down every picture, changed every single piece of furniture. Piece by piece. Like I asked you to give me brick by brick. I thought you....” I rub at my jaw as pain slices through me.

  I thought Brynn wanted the same things. Now, I'm afraid we were just a temporary fix for her. To replace a family she gave up. I don't fault her for her choice. But suddenly, I wonder if that choice was too easy for her. Is she ready to give us up too?

  10

  BRYNN

  Levi gave me the keys to the castle. Asked me to move in. Move here. To Chicago. Leave Boston. Leave my home. Just like that. Levi handed me keys and just like that, wanted me to give up my life. And, Jesus Christ, I wanted to.

  Levi and I, we make sense. What we have together, it makes sense, it feels good. To have him come home to me and Amelia, and share our days and nights together. There's nothing else like this. He makes me believe this fairytale we're building can be real; that we can be real.

  Levi is the best thing to ever happen to me and I want to give him everything. Want to give his daughter everything. I love them. I love them both more than I ever thought possible. My love for them is so big and sweeping. I don't know how to let it breathe without setting the world on fire.

  I want that fairytale castle he wants to give us. We are trying, brick by brick, like he asked. But, he went and asked for the happily ever after.

  “I thought that's what you wanted.” Levi looked crushed and my heart broke because I was the wrecking ball.

  It is what I wanted. Living with him and Amelia, making a home and building a family. I wanted nothing else. Even if it meant never setting foot back in Boston again. There was nothing there for me, not really. Except the dues that I owed.

  Dues Levi and Amelia could never know about.

  “Tell me why you come into my life and change everything, make it our life then you can't make it stick?” Levi sat on the bed, elbows bent at his knees and head in his hands. Defeated. Because I could not tell him the truth that might ruin the only good thing I had.

  “You wanted me to take Isabel's place.... pretend like I don't feel her everywhere? In every single room in your house? In the bed we sleep in. The bed you fuck me in? Do you think about her when you come home to me? Is it me you’re fucking or do you see her face and big tits?” I was so scared of losing him, I lashed out.

  We shared something real the night Lola had baby Ford. Sharing something so special with them, with him, it changed us. I told him about Abbi, about my choices. Just not how I'd paid for those choices. Because he might understand a teenager giving up a child. I doubted very much he might understand the darkness I drowned in afterwards.

  Here I was, drowning again because I made terrible choices.

  “You fucking kidding me? Tell me you know better. Tell me this is a fucking joke, Brynn. Nothing about us has a single thing to do with my wife.” Levi didn't mean it, and I knew he regretted it, but his word choice sliced me deep.

  “No? Your entire house was stained by what you two were. The furniture you fucked her on. Photos you took together. Menus from the places you two ate at. Her fucking shampoo is still in your shower, Levi. And....your daughter is a part of her.” Levi shot to his feet, crossing towards me.

  “Amelia is your daughter more than she ever was Iz. I had zero part in those photos or that fucking bed. They meant nothing to me. You do, Brynn. You and my daughter are my home. I am sorry photos on the wall or a fucking bed mattered to you. I'd burn them to the ground if I knew they hurt you. Can't you see? You two are all I have, all I could ever want. I thought you wanted to make a home with me, thought that's what this is about. You promised you knew what this meant.” Panic crawled through me as he walked away, his words growing icy.

  “Levi...” He whirled to face me and my heart stopped.

  My beautiful king. Levi might want everything, but he deserved my everything. Tears glittered in his eyes and his handsome face was laced with pain. He lifted my hand that still held his keys. Bringing my closed fist to his lips, he pressed his mouth to the inside of my wrist. As his tears fell, he whispered softly, offering me a choice.

  “Make a choice. I choose you. I will always choose you for my queen. But....I will always put my Princess first. Either be here, with us. Or don't be here with us.” I watched him walk out, taking my broken heart with him again.

  Because I don't know how to make the right choice, I left.

  Levi was right. I had to either be here with them, or leave. I'd been staying there almost exclusively for nearly a month. Little by little, I brought clothes, my laptop, a toothbrush, and he made room for me. We never talked about it. I just stopped going to Lola's.

  A few days after Lola had the baby, I took a shower. I must have taken a dozen showers in Levi's bathroom; several of them with
him. I'd just come from taking Amelia to visit the new mom and her bubbly, bright boy, Ford. I'd needed the break because my phone was full of missed calls and increasingly angry messages. To say I was sensitive might be undercutting it.

  I fell apart in the shower after I grabbed the wrong body wash. Lilac scrub. Isabel's scent. It was on the sheets we slept in, the chair Levi favored and just about every breath of air I took in his home. I scrubbed it off until my skin was an angry red, sobbing because I knew I was nothing more than a stand in.

  The rest of the day I spent tearing his home apart. Taking art and photos off the walls. Ripping up three carpets in the living room and bedrooms. Choosing new paint colors and even looking into new furniture pieces. Levi came home, asked no questions, and let me have my way.

  “I thought this was you, making this our home.” Levi had said. And, he wasn't wrong.

  But, really, I was erasing his wife from our home. A home that I had no right to. But was doing my damndest to wall myself inside of. It was safe and if I painted the walls and changed the furniture, and turned my head just right, I thought I could see a place we could call ours.

  “Tell me why you are here and not there.” Lola asked me now, seven hours after I had walked out of Levi's house and ended up at the condo.

  I had wandered the streets for a few hours. Passing by the bar Levi used to hang out in, where he met Isabel. The park we took Amelia to every single Friday. Our favorite pizza joint down the street from Cage and Charli's place. The fire station, where I could hear Finn's voice booming about the call they had just returned from.

  “Chicago feels like home now.” I admitted as I took the tea she offered.

  “Um, duh. I'm here. That's all it takes. Bonus—the perfectly adorable Holt family. Your family.” Lola said this with a stern, pointed look and my head hangs.