Blind Date with a Billionaire Professor (Blind Date Disasters)

by Evangeline Kelly

  I put a hand on my forehead, embarrassed and angry with myself for not deleting the text before putting my phone away. When my pants brushed the table, the contact must have triggered the send button. I’d set my phone not to lock for ten minutes since I hated constantly putting in my passcode, but now I was seeing the consequences of a decision like that. Talk about bad luck. “Uh…wow. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You were going to stand me up.”

  I nodded. There was no point in lying since I’d always made the effort to be truthful even if it was uncomfortable.

  “Why?” She stared at me with those big blue eyes as if measuring my capacity for lousy behavior.

  “This just isn’t my thing,” I stammered.

  “What’s not your thing?”

  I hesitated. “I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. It’s bewildering to find myself in this situation.” I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

  “Do you want to leave?”

  She was giving me an out? For a few seconds, I contemplated standing up and walking out the door, but Wilhelmina would literally kill me if I did that, and I had a feeling it would hurt Abby’s feelings. “No.”

  “Okay.” She smiled, and it instantly reduced some of my anxiety. “Then I’ll forget about the text.”

  “Thank you.”

  The waiter I’d seen earlier stopped at our table, and he had an outgoing, engaging manner that made me immediately suspicious of his intentions because he was obviously interested in Abby.

  “Hi, I’m George, and I’ll be your server this evening.” He winked at Abby. “What would you like to drink?” The question was directed to me since Abby already had a glass of water, but he puffed out his chest and grinned at Abby as if she held the answer.

  “I’ll have a water,” I said, setting my face into its usual mask of indifference. He needed to tone it down.

  “Great. I’ll be back shortly.”

  Abby and I looked at our menus, and a few minutes later George returned with my water and took our orders. My grumpy mood seemed to put an end to his antics because he left without another word.

  “So,” Abby said, leaning forward with her elbow on the table, chin in her hand. “Tell me about yourself.”

  I hated open-ended questions like that. It was so much easier to answer yes or no, but you couldn’t do that when the question was that broad. “Well…I’m a science professor at UC Redwoods as you already know.”

  She smiled, waiting for me to say more. The corner of her mouth quirked up, and the motion distracted me. She was saying something else, but I didn’t catch it because I was too focused on the shape of her lips. The top formed a cupid’s bow, and the bottom was full and plump.

  What was my problem? I saw beautiful women all the time—the university was jam-packed with them, and it had never had much of an effect on me before. A few seconds passed with neither of us saying anything, and I finally realized she was waiting for me to answer her question.

  “Can you repeat that please?”

  Her shoulders drooped, and the look on her face said she was not impressed with my lack of attention to the conversation. “What does your job entail?” Her voice rose as if I might have had a problem hearing her the first time.

  “Oh. I spend fifty percent of my time teaching, and the other fifty percent goes to research.”

  “I see.”

  I nodded once.

  We both stared at each other awkwardly.

  I had nothing…nothing to say.

  “Excuse me. I need to use the restroom.” I rose from my seat and took off, sweat forming on my brow.

  She said something in reply, but I was too fixated on getting out of there to pay attention. Once I was in the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and blew out a breath. This was proceeding exactly as I predicted. Being alone wasn’t so bad. Why had I thought going on a date would make things better? I dawdled for a while, and after enough time passed, I figured she might start to worry, so I headed back to the table, dragging my feet as I went.

  Thankfully, the waiter arrived with our dishes a few moments later, giving us a moment of reprieve as Abby and I focused our attention on our food. In the back of my mind, I had the feeling she was waiting for me to share more about myself or ask a question. I knew I should say something, but there was a lump in my throat preventing me from speaking.

  “Do you enjoy teaching?” she asked before taking another bite of her chicken. “What’s it like instructing a roomful of college students?”

  “Yes.” That was in response to the first question. Pausing to chew my food, I pushed my glasses higher up on my nose and considered how to answer the second. It would take too many words to explain, and my heart was beating too fast to answer without sounding like a complete idiot, so I decided to let the last query go unanswered.

  I could speak publicly in front of a large room of students, or even at a conference full of my peers, but, ironically, I couldn’t carry on a conversation with a date.

  Abby stared at me expectantly, and I avoided eye contact, focusing on my food instead. After a few moments passed, her forehead creased, and she put her fork down. She pursed her lips and scanned the room as if she too wanted to leave.

  I was screwing this up just as I thought I would. A leopard can’t change its spots, and I can’t change who I am. It was hopeless.

  “You don’t want to be here, do you?” she asked.

  I hesitated, wanting to give her a half-truth, but that went against my principles. “No.”

  “You should have stood me up like you initially intended. It’s obvious your heart isn’t in this.”

  Her accusation tore at me, and I instantly felt contrite. I was being an insufferable jerk, and she deserved better. Lord, help me.

  I was tempted to slap a hundred-dollar bill on the table and leave, but something inside me didn’t want to give up. I was tired of being this shy in social situations. And then an idea came to me. If I avoided eye contact, I could talk about my research and pretend she wasn’t there. That might work.

  “Forgive me, Abby. Like I said earlier, I haven’t done this in a really long time. Let me share with you what I’ve been learning.” I took a breath and began.

  Chapter 4

  Abby

  “Taxonomic Rank tells you how closely related two organisms are.” Colin stirred his mashed potatoes around and around, and I wondered if he ever planned on taking a bite. He glanced at me for a second but averted his eyes back to his plate as if looking at me was a chore he couldn’t endure at the moment. “Fungi have their own kingdom. There are six kingdoms of living things: animals, plants, fungi, and three that are microscopic life.”

  I was doing my best to follow, but I had a feeling my eyes were starting to glaze over. “Okay.”

  “Right now, I’m studying a family of fungi—”

  “I’m picturing a mom, a dad, and two-point-five kids.” I giggled at my own joke, but, apparently, he didn’t find it humorous because his expression didn’t budge.

  His shoulders stiffened as he leaned forward. “Oh, no. No. A family is a group of related organisms on the level of your second and third-cousins.”

  Did the guy know how to loosen up? A grimace pulled his face tight as he spoke, and it was like he was holding a conversation with his food. He wasn’t even looking at me. If I left, would he continue talking? Too bad I barely got a C- in my college science class. To be honest, I couldn’t remember the name of the course.

  Colin finally took a bite of his potatoes, and I waited for him to make eye contact. Look at me. I stared at him, willing him to meet my gaze. Was I so horrible to look at, or was he seriously that shy?

  When he’d initially arrived at the restaurant, my heart nearly dropped into my stomach along with my resolve to appear unaffected. The man was extremely good-looking—on the level of I’m-not-worthy-to-be-on-a-date-with-this-guy level. My first thought was: why didn’t I have professors like him when I went t
o college? The hot professor was somewhat of a cliché, but he fit the cliché perfectly since he was tall, broad-shouldered, had longish unruly hair that fell just below his jaw, high cheekbones, square jaw, cleft chin…and those eyes. They were dark and mysterious, and I could easily fall under his spell if I stared at them too long. His beard was a little scruffy, and he could definitely use a haircut, but all in all, I couldn’t believe my good fortune.

  That is until I got his mistaken text.

  And we had little to say to each other.

  Then he opened his mouth and didn’t stop talking long enough for me to get in a word edgewise. We’d been sitting here for the last twenty-five minutes, and he hadn’t asked a single question about my life. Nothing.

  Instead, he was going on and on about stuff I could barely follow.

  “Let me give you an example of hierarchy outside of mushrooms,” he said. This time he was looking behind me. At least he wasn’t talking to his food anymore. “Dogs, for instance. You’ll find domestic dogs, wolves, coyotes, foxes, jackals, dingoes—they are all in the same family, but they’re like second-cousins. Most can’t breed with each other but a few might be able to. Coyotes and wolves can, but they all have a distinct appearance and unique characteristics.”

  “Okay, that makes sense. I’m following.” Yay for me!

  He continued to drone on and on, comparing the canine family to a hierarchy of mushrooms, and, after a while, I started to realize something. This wasn’t a two-way conversation at all. It was more of a monolog on his part. First, I couldn’t get him to talk, and now he didn’t seem to know when to shut up. This date was not going at all like I’d hoped it would. No wonder Wilhelmina kept saying, “He’s not for you.”

  I should have listened.

  “Categorizing mushrooms requires a basic knowledge of their macroscopic structure,” he said.

  “I thought people who are into mushrooms are high.” I smiled, hoping that would lighten the mood a little.

  He leaned in and made eye contact for the first time in over twenty-five minutes. His eyes were warm and dark and mesmerizing, and they caused my stomach to flip in the most amazing way. “Some are hallucinogenic, but the kind I’m talking about have different properties.”

  I had no idea what he just said, but he’d made it sound really good. I wasn’t even listening at that point. If only he gave more of that eye contact, this date might be salvaged. But of course, he looked away and went back to droning on and on about…you guessed it…mushrooms.

  I couldn’t take it anymore.

  Mushrooms were cool and all, but this was way too much. Too much information about stuff I honestly didn’t care about. And he obviously wasn’t that interested in me because he still hadn’t asked me anything. Nada.

  It was time to bail. We’d finished eating, and it was clear we were not suited for each other. He probably needed someone who had a background in science, and I needed a man who could carry on a two-way conversation—who actually wanted to have a discussion.

  I considered excusing myself and giving the waiter twenty bucks to spill food on me so I’d have an excuse to leave. A friend of mine did that once, and it worked like a charm. But that was rude and unnecessary in my book. And dishonest. There was that as well.

  There was only one way to get out of this, and that was the good old-fashioned way. I cleared my throat, knowing it was now or never. There probably wouldn’t be a pause in the conversation anytime soon. “Well, I should be going.”

  Colin stopped talking about mushrooms mid-sentence. “Yes, yes of course. I’ve held you up much too long.” He actually looked relieved.

  I put thirty dollars on the table. “This should cover my meal.”

  His brows drew together, and he picked up the money and handed it back to me. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Oh, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind going Dutch.” Especially since I never planned on seeing him again.

  “No, I insist,” he said in a low voice. The tone was deep and rich, and, for a second, I wondered if I’d made a mistake by writing him off so quickly.

  “Are you sure?” I placed the cash back down and smiled. “Please take it.”

  He shook his head. “Not this time.”

  Did he think there’d be another time? Because if he did, he was sorely mistaken. “Okay, thank you. I appreciate it.” Sometimes it was necessary to agree in order to keep the peace.

  I stood and picked up my purse. “Well, I should be going.” I held out my hand. “It was nice to meet you.”

  He took my hand and zap of electricity shot through me at the contact, sending my stomach into a fluttery motion. His hand was so warm, and it felt…pleasant. Okay, clearly, I was attracted to this man, but it wasn’t enough. Looks weren’t everything.

  He didn’t respond and continued to hold my hand like he might not let go. I tugged my hand away and gave him a little wave, hugging my purse close to my side. “Bye now.”

  “Goodbye, Abby.” He sounded sad, resigned, and my heart twisted a tiny bit but leaving was for the best.

  I felt bad…I really did. But we didn’t have much of a connection, and that was vital to building a relationship. We just weren’t a match—that was all there was too it. At least I’d tried.

  I was almost half-way out the door when he jogged up behind me. “I’ll walk you to your car. It’s dark outside.”

  “Oh, that’s nice of you. Thank you.”

  He nodded but refrained from saying anything else. Why did I get the feeling he wasn’t happy about something? When we reached my Corolla, I cleared my throat. “Well, this is it—my car.”

  His eyes widened, and it seemed like he wanted to comment on the broken-down state of my vehicle, but he held back. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Abby.”

  “You too.” I got in the car and sent a quick text to Wilhelmina. I should have listened to you. He’s not my type. Thanks for trying.

  There was a knock on my window, and I jumped. Glancing over, I realized it was Colin, and he hadn’t left yet. I lowered the window. “Yes? Is everything okay?”

  “It’s not safe to sit in your car like this at night, especially if you’re distracted.”

  I frowned. “I’m perfectly fine.”

  “I’m not trying to be a nuisance. Maybe I’ll just wait until you’re ready to leave. It’ll make me feel better.”

  Not wanting to hold him up, I put my seat belt on and started the car. A text from Wilhelmina came through as I was about to back out of the parking space. I put the vehicle in park and checked the message. Awww… I’m so sorry. I was really hoping it would go well. You and Colin are both awesome people. I wanted you to like each other.

  I put my phone away and glanced over at Colin. He was still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching me with an intense expression on his face. I backed out of the space and headed out of the parking lot. Later, once I had time to get some perspective on the date, I would call Wilhelmina and tell her what happened. If I did it now, I might vent too much, and I didn’t want to be rude. Colin was probably a really nice guy once you got to know him. He was a gentleman at the very least. He just wasn’t for me.

  Nick was waiting outside my apartment when I got home. “Hey, Abbs, where have you been? I was hoping we could get dinner.”

  Nick was tall, with sandy brown hair and light blue eyes. He had a tan like a surfer and a smile that went on for ages. My date may have gone badly, but at least I could hang out with Nick. This evening wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

  “I’ve already eaten dinner, but I wouldn’t mind having some dessert.” Grimacing, I put my keys away. “Just came back from a date. It didn’t go so well.”

  He squeezed my shoulder and gave me that million-dollar smile. “Don’t worry about it. You’re pretty for an artist type. He probably likes blondes or something like that.”

  Uh…was that supposed to be a compliment? “Thanks, I think.”

  “Can we take your car? I don’t
want to put too many miles on the Jaguar.” He had an orange Jaguar, and it was his baby.

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks. I want to go to this really cool place, but it’s an hour away, and I’m trying to keep my mileage down.”

  “My car has been unpredictable lately. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to drive that far—”

  “It’ll be okay. Your car is like one of those old-timers who just won’t die.”

  “Maybe. It might be okay.”

  He put an arm around my shoulders and steered us in the direction of the parking lot. “Of course it will.”

  At least he’d be with me if it broke down again. “Fine.”

  When we arrived at the restaurant, it looked more like a club than a typical restaurant. There was a dance floor and a bar and the noise level rose louder than what I preferred when I ate out. It wasn’t my scene, but I wanted to spend time with Nick, so I was willing to put up with just about anything.

  The hostess seated us at a table away from the dance floor, and I scanned the menu for a dessert that appealed to me at this hour. Nothing really interested me, so I decided a scoop of ice cream would be fine.

  A blonde waitress with a cute, sassy haircut with blunt edges sidled up to our table. “Hi, my name is Tisha. What can I get you tonight?”

  Nick put his menu down on the table and grinned from ear-to-ear. “Tisha. I’m Nick.” He extended his hand with a smile that would melt any woman’s heart.

  She appeared flustered at first—Nick was a really good-looking guy after all—but she recovered in time to shake his hand. She lowered her eyelashes and bit down on her bottom lip. “Nice to meet you.”