by Shan
"Look, whatever. Does your girlfriend know you over here?"
Wham!
Tamar backhanded me across my face so hard I could feel my entire left cheek shift to the right. He grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the wall and began to choke me, "Don’t fucking play with me Roz! Where the fuck you been at?"
I struggled to push his hand away so that I could answer his question, but he squeezed and squeezed until everything went black. Tamar pulled his hand from around my neck and snatched my purse from my hand. He walked over to the couch and left me to collapse to the floor, where I gasped for air.
I looked over at Tamar and eyed him as he emptied the contents of my purse onto the floor. He scrambled through it all until he was able to locate my phone. He looked like this crazed, mad, man.
His facial hair had grown nappy and covered his cheeks and chin. I was so used to his face being baby smooth, but now it was all fuzzy and rough. He wore a pair of gray sweat pants and an oversized black t-shirt.
"I know I called your phone at least ten times. Where the fuck the missed calls at and where the fuck you been at? You come rolling up in here at two in the damn morning," Tamar said not taking his eyes away from my phone.
"I had a doctor’s appointment, so I stayed over Toya's house until she got home from work to bring me home!"
"Who is Marcus?"
I wiped blood from my lip with the bottom of my t-shirt and got up from the floor. "Just a friend," I said.
"This that nigga that helped you carry out that robbery and shit on me?"
"Oh Lord, here we go with that shit again! For the last fucking time! I DID NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT SHIT!"
"But you know something though right?"
I walked away but was snatched back by Tamar. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me to him. "Tae, let me go! Let my hair go!"
"You better give me a good fucking reason not to snap your damn neck right now!"
"Tae, I didn’t do anything! You know me better than that! I would never do anything like that to you. You think I would have stayed there and watch them do that shit to you if I had something to do with it! All that damn blood—I thought you were gonna die!"
"That’s what you wanted right? You wanted a nigga to die, huh? For not wanting to be with your stank ass!" Tamar tossed me to the floor.
"I don’t give a damn if you wanted to be with me or not. I loved you no matter what and would've never wished anything like that on you!"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
A knock at the door scared both me and Tamar. The next thing I knew, he pulled a pistol from his sweat pants and walked over to the door and peeked out the peephole. "Who is it?"
"Marcus!"
Oh shit! What the fuck is he doing here? I wondered and stood to my feet. I tried to hurry and put my hair back into place. Tamar gave me a quick glance before he opened the door.
"What’s up—Rozalyn here?" Marcus asked.
"What the hell do you want?"
"She left her ummm—she left her papers in my car—from her doctor’s appointment. I ain’t know if she needed them—"
Tamar reached and snatched the papers from Marcus’s hand and slammed the door shut in his face. He looked down at the papers and then up at me. "I thought you said you were over Toya's house."
"I was over Toya's house—I—"
Wham! Whap!
Tamar hit me twice more and caused me to fall backwards onto the coffee table. The force of my weight hitting caused the glass to smash.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
The sound of someone knocking at the door again stopped Tamar from putting his finishing touches on my body. I could feel the blood as it dripped from the nape of my neck down the middle of my back. I made an effort to get up, but each time I moved glass crushed beneath me.
"Say homey. I don’t know what the fuck you and Roz got going on, but if you don’t get your bitch ass from around here you gonna catch one in the gut. Ya' feel me?"
"I just—I heard glass breaking—I wanted to see if she was alright."
Tamar cocked his gun and put it directly in the center of Marcus’s forehead. "You worried about this little slut? I’m trying to talk to her about who the fuck robbed me and left me for dead. She said you ain’t have shit to do with it, but now I’m starting to wonder."
"I just met back up with Rozalyn a few weeks ago. I just take her and her brother around whenever Brandon is busy. I ain’t have nothing to do with no robbery man," Marcus’ voice was shaky. He held his hands up in surrender. He made sure to let Tamar know he didn’t want any problems.
Tamar pulled the gun away from Marcus’s head and slammed the door shut again. I was too dizzy and in too much pain to even get up and walk. It was already hard enough getting around with this big ass cast on my leg from when I was shot, and now it felt like my other leg was all cut up and bruised. I watched as Tamar gave me a long stare and then began to pace back and forth across the floor.
"Are you fucking this nigga? I’m laid up in the hospital because of you and you out here fucking some nigga like you don’t give a fuck about me!" Tamar yelled then walked and stood over me. "Did you give that nigga my pussy Rozalyn?"
I shook my head no as tears began to fall down my face. I closed my eyes and tried to think where Tamar and I went wrong. We had such a great relationship. We always talked and laughed about any and everything.
I told him things that I’ve never even told my best friends Brian and Starr. I shared things with him that I would never see myself repeating to anyone ever again. Now it all seemed like pure hate between us. Maybe if I had made the decision to never sleep with Tamar, we might not be in this situation. No, we wouldn’t be in this situation.
I wouldn’t have bullet fragments deep in my calf muscle. I wouldn’t be lying in the middle of the floor on a broken coffee table with my face bruised and swollen, and I also wouldn’t be with child. It was my unborn. My unborn was where we went wrong; I thought as I placed my hand over my stomach.
Tamar grabbed me by my hair and dragged me through the broken glass and across the floor to the bedroom. He picked me up off the floor and stripped my clothes off. He tossed every piece of clothing to the floor. I’d never seen him so mad since knowing him, and it scared me to death.
"Bitch, did you fuck that nigga?" Tamar asked as he inspected my naked body.
I shook my head no and covered my exposed breast with my arm. I was pregnant by Tamar, and it would be too disrespectful for me to be with anyone else sexually no matter what Tamar and I were going through.
My body trembled like a leaf, and the tears flowed from my eyes non-stop. I was so frightened at what Tamar might do to me next. He pushed me back on the bed, spread my legs open, and rammed two fingers inside of me.
"Aaggh!" I screamed.
Tamar removed the fingers he inserted in me and brought them up to his nose. He sniffed his fingers as if there would be some type of scent that would tell him not I’d lied to him. He looked down at me and only stared at me. Not a word left his mouth. He just looked.
He pushed my legs closed, and then turned around and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He exhaled and released all of his problems. He then dropped his head and placed it into the palm of his hands.
After a few minutes of sitting there, Tamar pulled his keys from his pockets, and then got up and left the room. I could hear the door slam shut, and I jumped up from the bed and limped my way to the front door as quickly as possible. I locked the door, and then breathed a sigh of relief. I was just glad that Tamar didn’t kill me.
11: Shalea
I scrolled through Tamar’s blackberry looking for Dmitri’s number so that I could text him to set up a couple of meetings on Tamar’s behalf. I know Tamar told me to stay out of his business and let him handle things, but I knew that he was still in pain and wasn’t up to doing anything.
Because of that, I just took it upon myself to take care of things for him until he was one-hundr
ed percent. That was the kind of woman I was. I made sure I had my man’s back every step of the way. I know that Tamar cheats and dogs me out in every way possible, but what man don’t do it to their woman.
All I had to do was stick around and hold him down no matter what. Once he was ready to settle down and get married, he would see that I was the chick that loved him and all the other hoes didn’t mean a damn thing.
When I first got released from prison, I changed all of Tamar’s cell phone numbers without him even knowing about it. I knew he probably figured that no one has called him because they wanted to give him his space, but that was because no one had his phone number but me, Dmitri, and his dad, Tahj.
I wanted us to start fresh, and the only way we could do that was by not having any outside distractions. I’m sure he was just going to go out and get more numbers and his phone book would be full of hood rats all over again, but it was worth a try.
I looked over at the clock, and it was three in the morning, Tamar was not in the bed next to me like he had been every night these past couple of weeks we’ve been home from the hospital. I hated to say this, but I was starting to hate that he was feeling better. When we had first gotten home, he was in so much pain that he couldn’t do anything without my help or the help of the nurse that his dad hired.
I loved it that way because that meant he needed me and now that he was up and moving around things were slowly getting back to normal. Normal for me was Tamar never being at home and me at home, feeling lonely and horny all the damn time.
That’s why it was important for me to show Tamar that he could use me by his side to help him run this game. He used to allow me to help him all the time before I got locked up, but now it’s like he doesn’t trust me anymore. I had to earn his trust back. I just had to.
I spread my legs open and slid two fingers down my panties to touch my burning, hot clit. I was so damn horny, and I yearned for Tamar so damn bad. He seemed to be having a little problem since he’d been shot and couldn’t keep a hard on, and that was fucked up.
I'd been thinking about this damn man night and day for a whole year while I had been locked up, only to come home and not be able to get even an inch of dick.
"Fuck," I moaned as I ran my fingers across my clit. I grinded my hips against my fingers and brought myself to ecstasy. I twitched and vibrated as I came all over myself. "Mmmh that felt so good."
A single tear fell down my eyes ‘cause I knew this relationship was problematic and needed to be fixed, but what could I do? I strived so hard to please him, and he seemed to never notice or never even acknowledge me.
It hurt me so bad that Tamar only came to see me one time while I was locked up and that he never wrote me back. He claimed that he didn’t want his brother them to know that he really wasn’t locked up the whole time like he had them believing, but hell, how the fuck would they know if he came to see me? It wasn’t like they would be coming up there to pay me a visit and bust him.
Soon as I got out of jail and met up with my sister, she had story after story to tell me about who all Tae had sex with. I didn’t care about none of them bitches because as far as I was concerned they were all project bitches. I knew that Tae wanted a lady with class, something you couldn’t find in Bankhead. I couldn’t understand why he liked to run his dick in them nasty ass hoes anyway.
Well no lie, I was a little concerned about one of the strags that Tamar messed with. The little Spanish chic, Rozalyn had me a little on edge. Peaches told me about the rumors of him taking her on shopping sprees, handing her money, taking her out a dates, and shit that you do when you coupled up.
When bitches used to come up to me and brag about sleeping with my man, I would laugh in their face or purposely point out the fact that I was carrying a three thousand dollar Gucci bag or wearing a fresh pair of Juicy Couture jeans. That was to let them know that they could get all the dick in the world from him, but they wasn’t reaping the benefits of it like I was.
I climbed out of bed and walked to the dresser and pulled out my Dooney and Bourke bag that contained a little bit of everything I needed to keep my head on straight. I pulled out a small, square mirror, razor blade, and a piece of a straw. Yea, I needed to quit, but it was nights like this that drove me to this damn drug. Nights when I didn’t know where my man was when I knew he wasn’t working, and nights of being lonely with hugging and touching myself.
I sliced a couple of thin lines along the mirror and snorted the blow without even taking a breath. Shit felt good; better than sex sometimes.
"Mmmh," I moaned before hitting the next line. "Damn."
I took a blunt from my bag, lit it, and turned around to see Tamar standing right behind me. I blinked my eyes a few times to make sure I wasn’t tripping.
"You just can’t give that shit up, huh?" he asked as he removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor.
"When did you get here and where have you been? It’s almost four in the damn morning!" I yelled trying to remove the attention from myself onto him.
"How many times have you did that shit today Lea? How much you got left?"
Tamar walked over to my Dooney and Bourke bag and emptied its contents onto the dresser. I ran over to him to try and grab the baggie before he could get to it, but it was too late. He held up the bag noticing that it was only a little less than a gram left out the eight ball he just given to me on yesterday.
"I been a little stressed, okay? I know you went to go see her today, Tae!"
Tamar shook his head in shame and tossed the baggie onto the dresser. He grabbed a pair of boxers, a t-shirt, and walked towards the bathroom.
"Tell me! Did you go see her, Tae?"
"Yea, so what?"
"After what she did to you? How can you still fuck with a bitch that damn near got you killed?"
"I don’t think she had anything to do with that, Shalea."
"Damn, she got you pussy whipped, huh?"
"Stay out my business. Oh yea. I know you changed all my phone numbers too. I guess you thought a nigga was too dumb to figure that shit out. And I know you texted Dmitri trying to set meetings and shit up, but I guess you thought he was dumb too. I already let him know that nobody is supposed to have any dealings with you."
"She got you caught up like that? All of a sudden you meet her and I can’t be a part of your business anymore?"
"She ain’t got shit to do with it. I got too much going for myself right now, and I’m not about to let no one fuck it up including you!" Tamar walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him. I have to think of a way to keep this bitch away from my man.
12: Tamar
"Come in," Tavon yelled when I knocked on his bedroom door. The smell of weed and cigarettes crept under the door letting me know what type of party it was before I walked in. Tavon was half-naked as he lay across his bed. He had a bitch lying behind him that was butt ass naked and another one pulling her head out of his lap when I walked in. I ignored them and leaned against the dresser where I crossed my arms over my chest. "What’s up? Everything good?"
"Who gave you permission to go after my girl, Von?" I asked.
"Shalea?"
"You know who the fuck I’m talking about!"
"When that little project bitch become your girl?" Tavon laughed. "Trifling ass bitch. You claiming that gold digger nigga?"
"Real talk Von, you better be glad nothing happened to her or my damn baby."
"Baby? She pregnant now? Is that what she told you to keep from killing her ass? And you believed it? Oh, my God this bitch got you pussy whipped and your nose wide the fuck open," Tavon laughed and so did the bitches. "Lil bruh, you let that bitch catch you slipping and look where the fuck it got you. You can barely walk and stand straight the fuck up!"
"Von, she ain’t have shit to do with why I’m in this situation!"
"You sure about that?"
"Yes I know that for sure, Von! I know her, and I know she wouldn’t do no shit like that! What the
fuck you got against her, bruh? You asked me to stop fucking with her, and I did. Now you accuse her of some foul ass shit and go after her trying to kill her. What the fuck you got against her?’
Tavon pushed the one chick that was laying on him off of him and got up and walked towards me. I didn’t move. It had been years since I feared my brother and he knew that. Even in the condition I was in not able to swing at a fly without flinching in pain, I still didn’t fear this nigga.
"You stopped talking to that bitch because you knew what the fuck I said was true. I told you not to go and get her pregnant, and you did anyway! She ain’t nothing but a broke ass, project ass, gold-digging ass, ratchet ass hoe! She don’t want shit, but your damn money and if the bitch gotta take you down to get it; that’s what the fuck she going to do! You just too intrigued by the smell of her pussy that you can’t even see it."
I stood there in silence as I took in everything Tavon was saying to me. "Von, I just need you not to fuck with her or her peoples no more. Just trust me."
Tavon shook his head and said. "Lil bruh, I got a feeling that shorty is nothing but trouble, and I don’t see shit ending good with her. You need to stop fucking with her. If she really is pregnant, make her ass get an abortion, throw her a couple of dollars, and make her ass kick rocks. Listen to your big bruh on this man, for real."
"I appreciate you for trying to look out for me and shit but I got this," I said. I gave my brother a pound, glanced once more at the stripper chicks, and exited the room where I ran straight into my girlfriend Shalea.
"So, this bitch pregnant?" Shalea asked as she leaned against the wall with her arms tucked behind her back. Damn, this bitch been here the whole damn time listening to every damn thing. I had to call my realtor and tell that cat to hurry the fuck up with my house 'cause a nigga couldn’t take a shit in peace around this bitch. "You gone answer me?"
"She might be," I said.
"What you mean she might be? It sounds like you were claiming that half-breed bitch and her child. I know you going to make her get an abortion, right?" Shalea asked all while working her neck and popping gum at the same time.
