Talking Sex

by Maxine Sullivan

  “Later, Leon.” He grabbed Cassie by the elbow and propelled her toward an empty office a few feet away.

  She stiffened beneath his hand. “Zac, what are you --”

  He kicked the door shut behind them with his foot. She opened her mouth to speak but he kissed her hard and quick, then pulled back fast but kept her within the circle of his arms. “I’m sorry.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise - then softened - then her lips twitched. “For kissing me?” she scoffed but it was more a teasing tone.

  A ripple of laughter threaded through him. “No.” He grimaced as he remembered why he was here. “For what I said back there about bleeding hearts. You had a job to do and I should have let you do it.”

  She took a moment to assess him and whatever she saw must have been positive because her eyes caressed him, if she all but knew it. “Thank you, Zac.”

  Relief whizzed through him, and now that was out of the way… he started to lower his head toward her. He needed another kiss. One of those nice slow ones like back in her kitchen this morning.

  “No, Zac.” She pushed out of his arms and moved to stand on the other side of the desk, clearly putting distance between them. “Look, you’re a nice man and all, but I don’t want to get involved. I’ve just been through a divorce and--”

  His muscles tightened. “You’re still hung up on him.”

  “No, that’s not it at all,” she said, shaking her blonde head. “It’s just that as much as dinner with you would be wonderful… I’m not sure I’m ready.” Her eyes had that vulnerable look in them he’d seen once before. “I don’t want to be hurt again, Zac,” she said, sending his stomach down to hit the floor. “And realistically where is it going to lead?” She lifted her hands in a helpless gesture. “Bed? I know me. I can’t go to bed with you without getting just a bit emotionally involved.” She hugged her arms to herself. “No, it’s best this way.”

  Once again he had the feeling that there was more to this between them than just sex. He really liked her. Liked her enough to know she deserved better than ending up an emotional cripple after what that louse of a husband did to her. And hell, he needed this too.

  “Cassie, I can’t deny that I want to have dinner with you and to make love to you. But I’m not about to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

  “That’s the problem. I want to do things with you.” Her eyes darkened. “Then you walk away and I’m --”

  His gut knotted. “I’m not your ex, sweetheart.” And she definitely wasn’t Erin.

  Her chin lifted. “You’re going back to Australia soon.”

  He couldn’t make false promises. “Sure, I have to go back home but that’s not because I’m like your ex-husband. I have a life back in Australia. I have parents, and two brothers. I have friends. I work hard at my job. When I go back it’s because that’s my life, not because I want to get away from you.”

  She blinked, conflicting emotions crossing her face. “Oh Zac,” she murmured. “I want to believe this will work but I’m not sure I can.”

  The knot in his stomach loosened. “Why not just enjoy what we have? Let’s take it one step at a time. Do you think you can do that?”

  She took a shaky breath. “I’m not sure we have anything.”

  “Aren’t you?” They both knew there was something between them. “It doesn’t have to end when I leave here,” he found himself saying and he meant it. “I can come to the States a couple of times a year. You can come Down Under. If things work out we can continue our relationship via long distance.”

  “If?”

  He had to be honest. “No guarantees, Cassie. If we both enjoy each other’s company, then why give it up before we’re ready to move on? Let’s just go with the flow for now.” And perhaps this will be cathartic for them both.

  Her forehead creased. “I guess,” she murmured, but she didn’t look convinced it would work.

  Suddenly he knew what he had to do. “How about you think things over, then if you want to take our relationship further, ring me tomorrow morning and we’ll still go out to dinner. If you don’t ring, then I’ll meet you here Monday night and we’ll pretend to your listeners that we had dinner together. Then that will be that.” He took out his wallet and passed her one of his business cards. “Here’s my cell phone number.”

  She looked slightly dazed as she accepted it. “I don’t understand. Why are you doing this for me?”

  “I want you to be happy and I’m hoping that’ll be in my arms. If it’s not…” he shrugged, “well, it’s your decision and I’ll stand by my word.”

  Her eyelids flickered but she didn’t say a word.

  “No more pressure from me, Cassie. I mean it. It’s all up to you.”

  Her expression clouded over. “I’m not sure I like being in sole charge.”

  His jaw clenched as he thought how confident she was on the outside, yet on the inside she was still hurting and less than secure. “I think you’ve been in sole charge ever since your husband walked out, so cut yourself some slack. I have no doubt you’ll make the right decision. For you.”

  * * *

  Mitzy greeted Cassie as soon as she got home. Her neighbor usually took care of the little dog each evening while Cassie was working. Adele was in her sixties and lived by herself, but she liked having Mitzy for company. Cassie would drop Mitzy off when she left for the radio station, and Adele would look after her, then walk her, before putting her back in Cassie’s apartment a couple of hours later. It was an arrangement that suited them both.

  But as Cassie slumped down on the couch, her mind wasn’t quite on the little dog she was cuddling. She had to admit she was shocked Zac had given her an option. She was used to men giving her ultimatums. Correction, she was used to Steve giving her ultimatums. Zac had just proved he wasn’t the type of man to do that. It made her feel all warm and weepy inside to think that here was a man she’d only just met who was concerned for her and her welfare.

  Still, wasn’t she hopping out of that well-known frying pan and into the inferno? Was she even emotionally ready for a man like Zac? Was any woman?

  In spite of all that, was she ready to let him leave without getting to know him some more? If she didn’t go to dinner with him tomorrow night, she knew he’d keep to his word. He’d finish the shows he’d promised to do next week, then she’d never see him again. Ever. He’d go out of her life as if she’d just been a pit stop along the way.

  Suddenly she couldn’t bear the thought of not having Zac in her life for the short time he was here. Yes, she was going to hurt again when he left for good. Yes, she would have to pick herself up and get on with her life. But she’d done that before and survived, hadn’t she? And when it came down to it, wasn’t there more to life than getting hurt and living in the shadows? Right now she couldn’t think about a lengthier relationship, but spending time with Zac was more important than any future without him.

  Just then the telephone rang, making her jump. Zac! All her doubts came racing back. Had he changed his mind about dinner tomorrow night? Perhaps he didn’t want to go at all now? Perhaps he’d decided she was too much trouble? She had to know, she decided, taking a deep breath before picking up the handset.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t the big radio star,” a familiar voice mocked without introduction, the weak connection from his cell phone not lessening the impact of hearing the male voice.

  Her heart turned cold. She’d prefer talking to Zac any day over her ex-husband. “What do you want, Steve?” she said, making sure her voice sounded impatient. She’d had too many years of pampering to this guy and she wanted him to know she’d changed. She didn’t do the little wife routine anymore.

  “You realize everyone’s talking about you and that Aussie?”

  His comment grated on her. “Really? I didn’t know. But then, I always was pretty thick when it came to men.”

  “Then it’s about time you opened your eyes, honey. The man’s walking all over y
ou on the air and --”

  “At least he’s not walking all over me off-air,” she said pointedly.

  A palpable silence came down the line. Then, “You know, I thought you would have been over me by now.”

  In your dreams!

  “Don’t flatter yourself, Steve. I am over you but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget how you treated me.”

  “That’s rich! How I treated you! I worked darn hard to give you everything and it still wasn’t enough for you.”

  “I’d rather have nothing than have something that wasn’t come by honestly,” she snapped, but there was a sick feeling in her stomach. This was a typical Steve reaction. He’d tried turning the tables on her many a time when he thought she might have the upper hand.

  “Such integrity,” he mocked.

  “You ought to try it some time.”

  It sounded like he sucked in a breath, though that wasn’t like him at all. “You really are a cold fish, Cassie. Why else would I have found comfort in the arms of other women?”

  The cold fish part stung as intended and she went to respond, but all at once she just couldn’t be bothered. “Why indeed?”

  Mitzy squeaked her toy.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve still got that mutt?”

  “I don’t dump things I’ve made a commitment to,” she pointed out.

  There was a moment’s silence, as if he were trying to judge whether to continue needling her. “Look, let’s forget about what went on with us,” he suddenly said in a soothing voice that didn’t soothe her at all but put her on full alert. There was something in his tone she couldn’t quite put her finger on. “I’m concerned for you and this Aussie guy.”

  Sure he was.

  “He’s bringing you down, Cass. All that cheap talk about sex. It isn’t befitting you.”

  “At least he’s only talking about sex, not doing it.”

  He paused, though she didn’t for a moment think it was in reflection. Then, “I’m merely worried that you’re making a fool of yourself over him and that you’re doing it on-air in front of people we know.”

  Her temper flared even more. She was so sick of all this. Did he really think she cared that he was worried? “Actually the only person who ever made a fool of himself was you, Steve,” she said coolly. “So you’re the only person who should feel humiliated in all this.” She hung up the phone with shaking hands.

  As if Mitzy understood, she jumped up on the couch and put her head on Cassie’s lap. Cassie gave her little dog another cuddle but her mind was still on Steve. No matter how many times she’d stood up to him since their split, it always left a bitter taste in her mouth. She hated confrontations. She particularly hated them with a man who had so expertly manipulated her for three long years.

  The memory of those years flooded back and she was unable to stop it. She was ashamed to think she had at one time let him tell her how to run her life. He’d told her how to dress, how to act, how to be a proper wife, but only in front of other people. Once out of the spotlight, she’d been no more than one of his golfing trophies hanging on the wall.

  Of course, the question remained as to why he was trying to manipulate her this time. It had to be for his benefit. It wouldn’t be for hers. Truth be known, the girlfriend probably wasn’t being as tolerant about his affairs as he’d expected and he now wanted to come back to her.

  Over her dead body.

  She’d never take him back.

  Never.

  And how dare he - after all his affairs - pull her into line about getting friendly with another man. He had a nerve! He could go to hell. Angrily she got to her feet, having already decided before Steve’s call to phone Zac tomorrow morning and accept his dinner invitation. But if Steve only knew it, his call had been fortuitous tonight and had confirmed that her decision to go out with Zac was the right one. And if she could kill two birds with one stone, why not?

  Dinner with Zac.

  And pissing off her ex.

  * * *

  When Zac got up the next morning, he found Adam sitting at the serving bar reading the Saturday morning paper and eating a bowl of cereal. He grunted a good morning as he got himself a cup of coffee. He’d had a restless night and it was now nine and there were no calls on his cell phone. He checked it again as he put it down on the bench beside him.

  “Want to do something today?” Adam said after a few moment’s silence.

  Zac took a few sips of his coffee. “Yeah, sure.”

  “I was thinking of a baseball game, but I can’t guarantee what time the game will finish, so we’d better do something else instead and save the game for another time. How about we visit one of the museums? Chicago’s got a ton of them. History, astronomy, art, science. Your choice.”

  “Sounds good.” It would sound better if Cassie called first and put him out of his misery.

  “I hear you’ve got a date tonight.” Clearly, Adam had listened to the show last night.

  Zac leaned back against the sink. “Yeah.”

  “I’ve got one too, so don’t expect me home.”

  “You’re old enough.”

  Adam laughed. “I’d suggest we double-date but you’d probably beat me up.”

  “Too right.” Zac didn’t find that funny right now. Besides, he might not have a date at all yet.

  Adam sent him a perceptive look. “You’ve got it bad for the lady, haven’t you?”

  “Have I?” If he didn’t admit it, would Adam see Cassie as fair game? Hell, wasn’t every woman fair game to his American friend? And once he left to go back to Australia it was possible that Adam could put the move on Cassie any time he liked, especially if she didn’t want a relationship with him. The next thing he’d hear the two could end up married. Having kids.

  Zac’s gut knotted some more. “Let’s just say she’s off limits to you, mate.”

  Adam shrugged good-naturedly. “All’s fair…”

  “Not this time,” he snarled, surprising even himself with his own reaction, but there was just something vulnerable about Cassie right now and he didn’t want her to get hurt. He winced to himself. Okay, so he was the last man who should be stopping her from a relationship with someone else. At least Adam would be still here in Chicago, while he… No, he might go back to Australia but he and Cassie could still have a relationship.

  The other man studied him then nodded. “I know which way the land lies. I saw how Cassie looked at you the other night. And how you’re acting now. I don’t think I want to get between either of you.”

  Zac tipped his head. “Wise decision, my friend.”

  Adam started to smile. “Hey, I don’t want to wake up in bed tomorrow morning with a horse’s head next to me.”

  Zac’s lips twitched. “Good choice.”

  The two of them looked at each other, then they both chuckled. It was good to get back to being mates, Zac mused as he finished his coffee. Not that there had been any real risk to their friendship. It was strong and always would be.

  He was just about to pour himself another one when his cell phone rang. He almost dropped the mug on the bench trying to snatch up the phone.

  “Hey, take it easy, buddy,” Adam said, picking up the newspaper and shaking his head in bemusement as he left the kitchen.

  Zac ignored him as he answered the phone. It had to be Cassie. If it wasn’t…

  It was.

  “Don’t ever do that to me again, lady,” he growled, as soon as she said hello, but he was still on edge, waiting for her answer. Just because she was calling didn’t mean she was going to accept his invitation to dinner. She might be calling to give her regrets.

  “Don’t do what again?” she teased huskily.

  Something lightened inside him. “I had a hell of a night wondering if you were going to phone me this morning.” The possibility that she wouldn’t call had been very real.

  “Did you now?” Her tone was easy. “Zac, thanks for giving me the space to let me think on things. I apprecia
te it.”

  “You’re very welcome.” He realized she still hadn’t told him what he wanted to hear.

  She cleared her throat. “So…”

  Tension gripped his shoulders. If she didn’t want to go out with him then…

  “I’d like to accept your invitation to dinner tonight.”

  His shoulders loosened. “Great.” Better than great but that’s all he could manage.

  “What time do you want me to pick you up? I may as well do the driving, seeing this is my hometown.”

  It suddenly seemed a long time to this evening. “How about now?” Adam wouldn’t mind if he went out with Cassie today instead of the museum. “We could spend the day together.”

  She gave a surprised laugh before saying, “Unfortunately I can’t. I have to take Mitzy to the veterinary clinic for her immunization, and then I have a hairdresser appointment just after lunch and that’s going to take a couple of hours. She’s very hard to get into, so I don’t want to cancel the appointment.” She hesitated. “It would have been nice to do something together today but --”

  “That’s okay. Adam wants to take me to a museum this afternoon anyway.” He was disappointed but he’d live. “Go make yourself beautiful for me, Cassie.”

  “I will,” she murmured, sounding relieved as if she’d expected he’d make an issue of it. And that made him frown. Would her ex-husband have made her cancel the appointments? Had he been that demanding? He couldn’t imagine Cassie giving into such a pig of man, but then again, who knew what went on in a marriage?

  She hung up and Zac went to look for Adam. Going to a museum would keep him busy, even if his mind was no doubt going to be on Cassie all day. Lately, it was always on Cassie.

  * * *

  Cassie appreciated that the restaurant was stylish but with a subdued atmosphere perfect for an intimate dinner date. And their table was… where else but in a secluded corner with the dark velvet of Lake Michigan at night as a backdrop.

  And the menu? It was obvious from the sensual look in the back of Zac's eyes that something hot was on his menu tonight. It sent a thrill through her to see his eyes roving over her new ruby red dress that left her shoulders bare. She liked being wanted by this man. It was a different feeling from being wanted by Steve. There was something more here.