I Need You Now

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “You need not concern yourself with the staffing of this department. We are out one person right now and are behind, but normally we function quite well with the appropriate number of people.”

  I turned my monitor on and stayed away from the desktop, opting to hook into the system with my laptop. “Don’t let me keep you, Mr. Michaelson. I assume we’re paying you by the hour?”

  I’d already tuned Nate out as I logged into the system and immediately saw that even more of the work I’d done on Friday had already been destroyed. I made Nate jump when my fist came down on hard on the desk. “Shit! Why does this keep happening?”

  I felt his presence behind me as he leaned over my shoulders, looking at my computer screen. “Everything okay, Ms. Scott?” I could tell he hated the formality I’d set between us, but if we were going to be forced to work together, I needed to keep control of things. Why did his close proximity always make me squirm? Don’t fall back against his chest or let his face get any closer to yours.

  I waved my hand in dismissal and tried to cover what was really happening. “We have a lot of catch-up and corrections that need to be made. As I mentioned before, we seem to have a bug in the system that somehow corrupts our figures, not just the sales department. You’ll find your desk just outside my door. Yours is the largest cubicle. Please try to refrain from office gossip, especially with Karen and Cameron. I won’t tolerate it.”

  He walked toward the door and opened it. I could see from my vantage point that Cameron was trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. It surprised me when Nate turned toward me and winked. “Thank you for putting me in my place, Ms. Scott. I’ll be sure to get this work done immediately so I don’t get written up.”

  My jaw just about dropped. I couldn’t believe he was putting on such a show just to put Cameron in his place.

  Several days passed and Nate had finished his work in record time, putting the others to shame. Cameron was starting to give him a hard time, accusing him of “showing us all up to try and get a permanent position here,” which wasn’t the case. Unless Rachel decided she wanted to stay home with the baby, her job was secure.

  To my surprise, Nate hadn’t complained about the amount of work I was offloading onto him. I spent the majority of my time focusing on the spreadsheets that had issues. I guess he was starting to sympathize with me when I heard him yell out.

  “This shit is stupid. Why do all the numbers keep changing?”

  I’d had the door to my office open and released the gasses within the glass so I could look out on the rest of the office. I preferred my privacy, but ever since the figures were getting screwed up I wanted to make sure my department was hard at work and not messing around. If one of them was responsible, there would be hell to pay.

  Leave it to Karen to make a sarcastic remark. “Get used to it, pretty boy. This department is going to hell in a hand basket and it’s all thanks to our amazing new manager. We didn’t have any of these problems until a month after she started.”

  Cameron rolled his chair over to her and gave her a high five. “I hear that one! That witch doesn’t need to be in charge of anything. In fact, someone should be in charge of her.”

  I let the insults roll off of me, not even letting them know I was on the verge of tears. I looked up to see Nate look my direction and connect with my line of sight. His lips mouthed, “Are you okay?”

  I just nodded and motioned for him to turn around and get back to work. He did, but not before me noticing my sister, Marjorie, dropping a rather thick manila envelope off to him. She noticed me looking and waved.

  I wondered what was in the envelope, but it wasn’t my business. He’d been hired by my uncle, so maybe it was some paperwork to complete or a copy of the policies here at work, who knows—as long as nothing interfered with him working.

  We seemed to get along okay at work, but outside of the office was a different story. I continued to call him Mr. Michaelson and he hated it. One day he cornered me in the garage at work. “You and I both know my job is only temporary. Why can’t we be friends outside of the office and be respectful to one another in it?”

  I only had one answer. “I’m your boss.”

  He tried to argue. “No. I only answer to Mr. Prescott, not you. He’s told me we’re fellow employees. You may have the title of manager, but I’m acting assistant manager until Rachel comes back.”

  “I just can’t, okay? What kind of message would I be giving the rest of the department?” There were plenty of reasons why I didn’t want to be friendly outside of work—one of which was the feelings I was starting to have for him. I still longed for my cowboy, but I was slowly realizing that fate had been cruel, allowing us only the one night together.

  “Are you embarrassed by me?” His voice was filled with hurt.

  I almost broke down and told him why, but Cameron got off the elevator and saw us together. I panicked, and kept averting my eyes off to the side, hoping Nate would get the hint. When he didn’t, I had to put on my bitch act. “Mr. Michaelson, I told you before that I won’t discuss work outside of the office. If you need to talk to me about work-related issues, then do it in my office during regular hours. Now if you’ll kindly let me leave, I’d like to go home and enjoy the rest of my day.”

  I could see the hurt in his eyes, as if I’d slapped him across the face. I knew he didn’t know many people here in town and was only looking for friendship, but I didn’t need the problems that having a friendship with him would open up. I was already failing with two of the members of my team. I didn’t need to give the rest of them an excuse to dislike me. There’s nothing like the feeling of being caught between a rock and a hard place. This is one time I wished I’d declined the manager job.

  A few weeks passed. Dane and Marissa were finally back from their honeymoon and having just as many problems with the sales department as I was in accounting. If something was skewed on their end, then the figures we used for the company’s financial spreadsheets were distorted on our end too. It seemed to have a domino effect that was getting progressively worse over time.

  We’d had a meeting in my uncle’s office with Dane, Marissa, Nate, and myself to discuss any ideas about the issue, but as usual, we had no clues as to why this was happening.

  “I wish we had a resolution to this so it wouldn’t create such friction between everyone and cause an overwhelming workload. But, we do have an accounting specialist already here inside the company. They’ve been working nights and weekends scouring every inch of our systems, trying to determine the source of these problems. So far nothing has panned out,” my uncle said.

  He rubbed the back of his neck to relieve some tension. “I don’t know what to tell all of you other than to keep doing what you’re doing. If you see anything out of the ordinary with the employees, equipment, or anything, let me know. There’s got to be a reason for all of this madness.”

  I don’t know about Marissa, but I was taking it as a personal attack against both of us for being women. Maybe I was wrong, but it hadn’t started until a month after we both moved into our new positions within the company—roles of management. Plus, our names were the only ones attached to these changes, implicating us as the guilty parties.

  The only exception to that thought was Nate. He’d been getting just as many errors in his work as I had. No one knew that I’d offloaded some of my work onto his plate so I could try to keep ahead of the errors and correct them as they came to light.

  I only half listened as some ideas were thrown around the table, but they were all the same ideas we’d had before and they’d gotten us nowhere. Okay, why does Marissa keep staring at Nate? She’s a married woman who’s having Dane’s baby. I couldn’t believe how much her belly had changed from the wedding. She’d gone from flat to a definite pregnancy bump during the time they were on their honeymoon.

  There she goes again, lifting her eyes up at him and smiling, thinking no one is looking. If she keeps this up I may have to have a hear
t to heart talk with her. My cousin has been hurt enough by women and I wouldn’t let him be hurt again, no matter how much I liked her.

  He’s mine, woman. Okay, where did that come from? He’s not mine! I have no claim on him. But why don’t I want anyone else to have him, either? Should I give up on the idea of ever finding my lost love?

  Nate was appealing in a dominant sort of way, but I didn’t know if he was into the kink side of things or knew how to be aggressive in the bedroom, which was a major turn on to me. Stop thinking like this, girl! He’s your employee.

  My subconscious was right, as always, although sometimes I wanted to tell her to shut up. I didn’t need to think that way about Nate. He and I had been butting heads a lot over the past couple of weeks, making the idea of a relationship impossible. Besides, he was only interested in friendship, and now not even that. He seemed to fall into the trap Karen and Cameron set against me. He accepted the work I gave him, but grumbled about it.

  I didn’t know what had changed with him, but one minute he was supporting and defending me, then the next he didn’t seem to know I existed. I was beginning to hate putting on my dominance act here at work and around my family, while only letting the true me out on rare occasions. Why did I have to be born into a family of dominating people who expected me to be just like them?

  If I were honest with myself, I really didn’t like the job of manager and would rather go back to being assistant manager. But now that I was in the role, I wasn’t going to let a bunch a whiny asses force me out of my position. If I had to be the lead for the department, I’d do it for the company.

  I wish I could find my cowboy, the one person who knew how to rid me of my pent up frustrations—forcing me to surrender completely to him. Hell, I couldn’t even get myself off anymore. I don’t know if it was the stress of everything or the fact that I needed him. Maybe Nate could get me off?

  My mind was definitely starting to get to me, as the heat in the room started to build and I felt the walls start to close in. The meeting, along with everything else, was weighing me down, but what was more puzzling was why my sister kept exchanging manila envelopes with Nate. I’d never see him open them here, or at least, not to my knowledge. What he did with them, I didn’t know, but I was going to find out. She’d just popped into the meeting to hand him another one.

  “I’m sorry, everyone, I need to get out of here.” I couldn’t admit that I felt overwhelmed.

  Nate was quick to stand and help me from my seat. I tried to scoot it back away from the table. “Are you okay? Do you need someone to drive you home?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer. I held my hand up. “I’m fine. I just haven’t felt good all day.” I looked at my uncle. “May I be excused, Mr. Prescott?”

  He nodded. “Sure, Miss Scott. We’re not getting anywhere with the meeting, so why don’t we go ahead and adjourn for today and regroup in a few. Marjorie can set up the time, pending our schedules.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  I made it to the door without anyone bothering me, or so I thought. I felt his presence behind me before he spoke. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” His hand swept past mine and opened the door for me.

  I walked through, needing to stop and ask my sister some questions, but I couldn’t ask them in front of him. I hated that I chose not to reveal who I truly was at work. In one sense I liked the anonymity I had going, so I could be treated as an equal, but was I really? Would it really make a difference if I came out and let everyone know my last name was actually Prescott?

  I felt Nate’s hand on my shoulder, shaking it to get my attention. “Ms. Scott, Gianna—you don’t seem yourself today.” His voice and face were filled with worry.

  “I haven’t been sleeping much. I’ve been taking some of the reports home, trying to keep ahead of things and getting nowhere despite all the effort. I’m just tired is all.” I ended up yawning, which seemed to prove my point. “If you would be kind enough to go down and have a presence with the rest of the employees, so they finish their work for today, I’d appreciate it.” I leaned into him, smelling the scent of coffee and some kind of musk, which seemed oddly familiar, and whispered in his ear, “And no talking about me. I hear and know everything, okay?”

  He laughed quite heartily and smiled. “Sure thing. But only because you’re not feeling good. Would you like me to pick you up something to eat on the way home?”

  I shook my head. “Thanks, but all I want right now is sleep. I’m too tired to eat.”

  He opened his mouth to say something more and I shot him a look to let him know I was done with this conversation. I couldn’t deal with anything else today. I’d hit my limit.

  The only thing I could manage was to turn toward my sister and mouth the words, “Call me, later?” She gave a little wink my direction to let me know she would.

  I KNEW I’D BEEN acting like an ass to Gianna lately, but it was all part of the plan. Cameron and Karen didn’t want to accept me inside their little circle or trust me unless I pretended to hate Gianna. Granted, I didn’t have to pretend too hard; we seemed to have a love-hate relationship going in terms of friendship.

  I just hoped she didn’t hear some of the nasty things I’d said about her and her attitude. Cameron really liked to put her down, citing, “Her management skills are so terrible she couldn’t even manage to control a flea circus.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

  It was obvious Cameron had issues working for a woman—any woman, not just Gianna. He was very expressive about how much he hated my sister and how she was the cause to his current situation at this company. But with Karen, she was just one jealous bitch, thinking she should be given everything in life without having to work hard for it.

  The more I got to know these two, along with the rest of the accounting department, the more I understood why Gianna put on a brave face. She had to or they took advantage of her, knowing she’d cover their lack of performance. I’d already thought the department was overstaffed and could easily run with less people, but seeing them goof off and take their time with their work, my suspicions were confirmed. If I were in charge, things would be run much differently, starting with letting go some of the hot air and dead weight.

  I will admit Gianna’s managerial style did send a lot of mixed signals to everyone. One minute she was organized, well thought out, and encouraging the department to continue moving forward, keeping a close eye on everyone. But other times she just came across as a dominant bitch with a burr caught halfway up her ass who wanted to hide in her office. She’s got a fine ass! You know you’re just dying to smack it.

  I wish my mind would shut up. I couldn’t think about Gianna in that way, at least not while I worked. The last few weeks made me realize I should probably give up hope of finding my Vixen.

  I’d spent the days here at work, trying to get closer to everyone to watch their work habits, to figure out who was causing all these problems. I spent my nights going over the hard copies of items entered into the system and trying to figure out how the scanned images managed to get changed, along with the data in the spreadsheets. Any spare time I had was devoted to clubbing, hoping my mystery woman would show up at the club, but she never did.

  I noticed I wasn’t the only one who worked late. Every time I left the condos around ten at night, I’d find Gianna’s lights still on, and notice her silhouette sitting at her dining table with her laptop open. She’d be in the same position or with her head down on the table, sleeping, when I’d return around one in the morning.

  I missed my mystery woman, but maybe it was time to open my eyes a little more to what was in front of me and stop focusing on the past. Gianna did excite me. She was a wild, refreshing spirit that might need to be tamed, and the idea of being the one to break her was really starting to appeal to me. I liked how she fought with me and stood up to the bullshit I threw her way. But when I backed her into a corner she didn’t fight, she surrendered. If only I could get her to s
ubmit to me. No one has come close to the excitement Vixen brought me, no one but Gianna.

  A few days passed and I was nowhere close to figuring out this assignment. I was feeling the frustration of letting Mr. Prescott, my brother in-law Dane, and my sister Marissa down. They seemed to be understanding with me, but I could feel the tension it was putting on Gianna. I needed to resolve this mystery soon. I hated seeing her work through lunch, stay late, come in early, and keep losing more and more weight. It was starting to affect her health to a point that Cameron had a bidding pool going on when Gianna would get laid off. The fucking bastard! I’d like to lay his ass off!

  I needed help on this and there’s only one person who I knew I could talk to—Ethan. I gave him a quick call to see if it was okay to run by the rehab center after work. There was something going on within the setup of the company that had me stumped. I was beginning to think his expertise in computers might be needed.

  I picked us up a couple of steak sandwiches and a couple of beers so we could eat and talk about my problems.

  Ethan looked a bit healthier, having gained back most of the weight he’d lost while he’d been in a coma. He’d lost most of his muscle tone, going from built to scrawny, within a couple months. It was nice to see my friend getting back to himself and actually smiling for once.

  He took one look at me. “You look like hell, man! I know you didn’t come here just to visit and feed me so why don’t we go ahead and get the bullshit out of the way and get right down to business.”

  “I can’t fool you, ole man.” I laughed. We’d been friends for the longest time, feeling almost like brothers.

  “Ole man, my ass. I’m only a few years older than you, but right now I’d bet I look younger.” He pointed over to the mirror on the wall. “Have you seen yourself lately? You look like you’ve aged. Either the assignment or the girl is really getting to you. So which is it?”