by Trudy Stiles
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you up.”
“What time is it?” I ask. The room is still dark.
“Four.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t have woken me up,” I groan.
“I haven’t been able to sleep. I owe you an apology, and you need to hear it.”
I turn my head toward him, “You apologize?” I’m confused. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be apologizing.
He nods his head. “Yes.”
I tuck my hands under my cheek and turn onto my side, facing him.
“Okay?”
“So I got crazy earlier. Totally nuts. I shouldn’t have driven you off the road like a drag racer. I should have shown you more respect than that. I’m really sorry.”
“I get it, I told you that already,” I smile. He brushes a strand of hair out of my eyes and drops his hand back down to the bed between us.
“The thought of never seeing you again just couldn’t be an option. Not that it forgives the way I spoke to you–the way I yelled at you. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m really sorry.”
There’s so much regret in his face. Too much.
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to let him off the hook.
“No. It’s not. It’s never okay to yell and be forceful. I’d never lost control like that, and I can’t believe it was with you. But I was desperate. I couldn’t let you leave. I would have wrapped my arms around your legs, forcing you to drag me through the parking lot.” He smiles weakly.
“Heath, I would have turned around, eventually.”
“Really?” he asks.
“I don’t know. Probably not, I’m stubborn like that,” I joke.
“I never want to feel like that again. I lost you for real once. Another time will not happen. Not while I’m still alive and breathing.” He looks stern, but tender.
“I believe you,” I admit and wrinkle my nose.
He wraps his hand around the back of my head, kissing me softly on the lips. “Now we can sleep,” he smiles, pulling me into his chest.
“Good,” I state, closing my eyes.
As I drift off, he quietly sings the song he wrote for me so many years ago.
A song about fireflies and the moon.
Heath
Present
NOELLE AND I SLEPT IN today, desperately needing to recover from our long, stressful drive yesterday. I fully admit I was hard on her. Really hard on her. I wish I didn’t lose my cool the way I did, but thankfully, she knows how bad I feel–and that it will never happen again.
We can breathe a little easier today after Stuart called me this morning. He spoke with Haley, who calmed down considerably. He was able to confirm her suspicions about Noelle. He didn’t fill her in completely, but told her that it’s dire that she keep Noelle’s re-emergence a secret. That Noelle’s life depended on it. Haley apparently perked up over being in on a super secret and agreed to back down. She promised not to reveal that she knows the identity of the ‘mystery girl’ in my life. Of course, Stuart had to make a transfer into her bank account to ensure that she actually keeps her word. Although I know Haley far too well, money is just a play thing for her. And she already has plenty of it. I think this is a temporary reprieve, and Noelle and I are going to have to figure out how we’re going to make her return public.
That’s when I realize there are a few other people who need to know what’s going on.
I pick up my phone and hit send.
“Hello, Dear,” my mother answers, her smile coming through the phone.
“Hi, Mom.”
“I stopped by your house yesterday and Rosie said you left in a hurry the other day. Is everything okay?” She sounds concerned.
“Everything’s fine,” I say. “But I have to talk to you about something. Is Dad there?”
“Yes, he is. Should he pick up?” She’s getting more worried.
“Yes, if he can.”
“Palmer,” she calls out, “Can you pick up the extension? It’s Heath.”
I hear his voice off in the distance and then a click on the other end of the phone.
“Heath!” he says, excited. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. Listen, there’s something I need to tell you both.”
“What is it?” he asks, concern rising in his voice as well.
“It’s about Noelle. She’s alive.”
My mother gasps, nearly choking while my father remains silent.
“Oh my God! Is this true? Are you serious?” my mother cries into the phone, barely containing her excitement. “How? I don’t understand? What’s going on?”
“Dad, are you there?” I ask. His silence is palpable.
“Keep going,” he urges. “Tell your mother what you know.”
He’s acting weird.
I tell them everything I can. From Noelle’s abuse to Tom Durand’s death. I explain why she resurfaced and why she came to me. After hashing out all of the details, my mother asks, “Where are the two of you now?”
“Albuquerque,” I state.
“New Mexico?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“I don’t even know what to say about all of this. I can’t believe she’s alive. Oh my God, what that poor girl went through at the hands of that awful woman is horrible.”
“It’s over now, though. She’s fine, and we’re handling things as they come.”
“Well, you certainly seem to be on an adventure,” she declares, and I hear her crying softly on the other end of the line.
“Mom, are you okay?” I ask, concerned.
“I’m fine, Dear. I’m just so happy. I can’t believe this.”
“I know exactly how you feel. I’m still pinching myself to make sure I’m awake.”
She sniffles and says, “I need to get a tissue. Tell Noelle we love her and please bring her here when you come home.”
“I will.”
She hangs up and I ask, “Dad, are you there?”
“Yes, Son. I’m still here.”
He was strangely silent throughout my recounting of Noelle’s story and what brought her back home.
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“What do you know about all of this? Did you have anything to do with it?”
He inhales deeply, and I know what’s about to come. Anger begins to boil in my blood.
“I didn’t know everything, until now. But Tom came to me for help years ago. He showed me evidence that I’d been trying to unearth for a long time. Evidence of Tonya’s involvement in the death of her first husband. I helped convict her and put her away for a very long time, with Tom’s help. It was then that he told me what they’d done when Noelle disappeared.”
“You knew she was alive and didn’t say anything to me?” I yell into the phone. I’ve accepted the fact that Noelle had to lie and stay hidden for so long, but why the fuck didn’t my own father tell me what was going on?
“Heath, it wasn’t that simple. There were so many moving parts. So many things that could surface. Too many innocent people would have been hurt by the actions her father took to fake her death. The only thing I did was help keep it quiet. Help her stay hidden. I also stopped the process of her being declared legally dead.”
His admissions rock me to the core. I feel betrayed.
“Please understand that I did this for Tom and for Noelle. Back when they said the home invasion took place, I had my security team pull surveillance footage. When nothing turned up–no masked men breaking down their door–I approached Tom and he looked terrified. He begged me not to look into it any further. That’s when I first knew something wasn’t right, but I respected his wishes until he came to me, asking me to put his wife behind bars.”
I can’t listen to this anymore. The fact that my father was part of this conspiracy makes me sick.
“Dad, I don’t want to hear anymore.”
“Please take some time to digest all of this. Talk to Noelle. You know what we all did to keep
her hidden was important. It kept her safe and protected. You would have done the same thing, given the chance.”
“But I wasn’t given the chance!” I yell. “Jesus, Dad! Why couldn’t you trust me with all of this?”
“You were too young, Heath. You would have gone after her, potentially drawing attention to Noelle and away from what we were trying to do to indict Tonya. Listen, I’m not asking for you to forgive me right this second, but I’m begging you to calmly think all of this through. You’ll come around.”
He’s assuming a lot here.
Noelle walks into the room with a confused look on her face. “Everything okay?” she asks, and I nod my head.
“Please tell Noelle we love her, and we’re very sorry for her loss. If there’s anything she needs done at the house, just let us know. We’re right here and will help out any way we can.”
“Will do,” I state and disconnect.
“Heath?” Her voice hitches and she walks over to me. “I heard you yelling. What happened?”
“Fuck,” I mutter. “I just spoke with my parents.”
“Oh? I guess you told them I’m alive?”
“I did. My mother cried and is thrilled to hear the news. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and can’t wait to see you when we get home.”
She smiles and sinks into the recliner. “I can’t wait to see her. She’s a wonderful woman, you’re so lucky to have her in your life.”
I nod and tense up a little. “Apparently, my father knew you were alive. So you can understand why I’m a little angry right now.”
“What?” she gasps. “How?”
“Your father asked for help, and my father obliged.” I clench my fists, so angry at the time that I could have back with Noelle. I could have gone to find her. Help keep her safe.
“Heath, please don’t be angry,” she pleads.
“It’s kind of hard not to be pissed off, don’t you think?”
“Take a step back and try to understand your father’s motivation. Clearly, your mother didn’t know, did she?”
“Judging her reaction when I told her you were alive? No, she had no idea.”
“Your father kept the secret from both of you for a good reason. It’s hard for me to say this, but I’m glad he did. Who knows what would have happened if it came out that I was alive back then? Tonya could have imploded and wreaked havoc on everyone. Including you.”
She’s making a little bit of sense, but I’m still angry.
“Your father did the right thing,” she presses. “He loves you, Heath. He did what he needed to do to protect you. You can’t blame him for that, and I’m sure he wouldn’t change things if presented with the same decision.”
“I get it.”
She stands up, walks over to me, and wraps her arms around my waist.
“If you can forgive me, you can forgive your father.”
She kisses my chin and tucks her head into the crook of my neck.
What’s most important is I’m holding the love of my life in my arms right now. She’s alive and breathing. I need to draw on this to help me get beyond some of the decisions made without my knowledge.
“What’s on the agenda today? Where are we going?” I ask.
She smiles. “Are you ready for this?”
“Give it to me.”
“Sandia Peak. We’re going on a tram ride.” She’s bubbling with excitement, despite her lack of sleep. “Maybe we’ll do some light hiking when we get there.”
“Hiking?” I laugh.
“I said light hiking.”
“We’ll see about that,” I joke. “How far is it?”
“About twenty-five minutes away.”
“What are we waiting for?” I ask.
She grabs her backpack, quickly kissing me on my cheek. “Let’s do this.”
NOELLE INSISTED ON DRIVING to our destination, which I’m thankful for. It gave me time to reflect and calm my nerves a bit after my conversation with my parents and the revelation from my father.
“Can you read my father’s entry in his journal about Sandia Peak?” Noelle asks as she merges onto the highway.
“I’d love to,” I say, thinking what a great idea this is–getting us back on track on our cross-country trek.
I dig into her backpack and pull out the journal, flipping the pages until I get to the entry she referenced.
“August 26: Melanie was a sight for sore eyes on that tram earlier today. Her fear of heights emerged completely as we ascended to Sandia Peak. I held onto her tightly, whispering in her ear that she was going to be fine. I tried to get her to focus on the incredible view out the windows, the sun setting behind the ridge. The light danced off of the peak as we traveled along the wire. She told me at least a dozen times that she couldn’t do it. She was terrified. But by the time she witnessed that sunset, her breathing became even and she was able to relax a little bit. The sites were impressive. I wish she would have stood up for me so I could get a picture of her with the beautiful landscape as a backdrop.
Once the ride was over and we made our way back down to the base, and she looked up in awe. Darkness had fallen over the Peak, but she was amazed by her accomplishment, overcoming one of her fears in life. The other is flying in an airplane, and I hope to get her beyond that hump soon, but I’ll save that for another trip. I’d like to take her to Paris with me the next time I have to fly overseas for business. She needs to experience that beautiful city, and I need to experience it with her.
Our night ended over a quiet meal in downtown Albuquerque. Her eyes shone bright as she recanted our trip on the tram, she forgot her fears and focused only on the beauty that we experienced, together. Someday, we’re going to come back here and do this again. Someday very soon.”
There’s a single picture taped to the bottom of his entry and I run my fingers over it. “The sunset is stunning. I’m glad we got a later start today,” I admit. Noelle seems nervous as we pull into the parking lot at the base. “Are you okay?” I ask her.
“I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before how high we have to go,” she states nervously. “I’m like my mother, I suppose. Afraid of heights and shit.”
I laugh out loud, and she glares at me. “You’re going to need to get over that pretty quickly. Like now.”
Her face turns pale, the smile completely gone from her face. “I don’t think I can do this.”
I take her hand in mine. “Trust me, okay? We got this.” I place a kiss on her knuckles and I get out of the car, rushing around to the driver’s side to help encourage her to come out.
“Are you sure?” she asks, nervously.
“I won’t let anything happen to you,” I say, pulling her out of the front seat and into my chest. She closes her eyes, inhaling deeply. I place my hands on either side of her face, kissing her tenderly. She begins to relax into me as she wraps her arms around my neck, holding me in place so she can return our kiss, deepening it.
This simple kiss helps the tension from the past few days melt away, almost entirely. “Let’s go back to the hotel,” she begs against my lips, causing me to smile.
“You can’t get out of this that easily, Noelle. As tempting as it is.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “Let’s go.”
Her smile fades, and she grasps my hand tightly. I know she’s afraid to fly, but I didn’t realize her fear of heights was so intense. We need to overcome this phobia right now.
We get our tickets and enter the tram. She immediately sits on the bench along the far wall and I sit next to her. She grabs my hand so tightly, the tips of my fingers start to tingle. “I don’t want to do this,” she whispers into my shoulder, her teeth lightly sinking in.
“Are you biting me?” I laugh. She pulls the fabric of my shirt with her teeth and lets go.
“Sorry,” she says, squeezing my hand again. “Nervous habit, I guess.”
The tram begins to move and she looks like she’s going to faint. A voice sounds over the speakers. “We
lcome to the Sandia Peak Aerial Tramway. For the next fifteen minutes, sit back and enjoy the landscape as we take you up to the Peak. We should get up there in time for you to witness our spectacular sunset. Enjoy!”
The ride starts off smoothly, and I lean into Noelle. “It’s beautiful so far, isn’t it?” She’s trying not to look down to see us rise above the vast canyons below. Her eyes are fixed on the Peak, our destination. She’s completely still and silent for the entire trip, while I twist and turn, snapping shots of the surrounding landscape. Her father’s words don’t do this place justice at all. I’m witnessing some of the most dramatic and awe-inspiring views I’ve ever seen. It even rivals the last time I was on tour with Epic Fail when the crew and I took a similar tram-type ride in the Swiss Alps. While that was breathtaking, there’s just something so special about experiencing something like this in our own country.
“You doing okay?” I ask, wrapping my arm around her.
“Yup,” she mutters, wringing her hands once again. “Doing great.” Her voice is tight, and she shifts nervously on the bench.
“We’re almost there.” I kiss her temple and rest my chin against her head.
The guide announces our impending arrival and Noelle starts relaxing against me. We dock at the station smoothly and Noelle is the first person to stand, practically racing me to the door. Once we’re outside, I almost expect her to drop to her knees so she can kiss the ground beneath her feet. She freezes when she sees the sign in front of us, declaring we’re at over ten-thousand feet.
“Holy shit.”
I don’t want to tell her that I’ve actually been at a higher elevation, she may have a panic attack.
I grab her hand and we walk toward the observation area. Once there, we can see an incredible three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of the canyons surrounding the Peak.
“Holy shit,” she says again, releasing my hand. She turns slowly, her eyes following the various valleys and peaks around us. “It’s incredible.” Her mouth drops open, and she looks like she’s about to cry.
“Are you okay?” I ask, brushing the side of her arm.
“Yeah. I mean–it’s like we’re steps away from Heaven.”
