“While we got in a fabulous hit in LA...” The director gestured for her to move in front of the camera. “This time, we’re going to pull our punches. Agreed?”
She nodded. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry.”
He tipped his head back dramatically and gave one loud laugh. “Ms. Hartman, please don’t be sorry. Thanks to you, when this video is released, it is going to be the most watched music video in the history of the genre.”
She smiled. “I’m glad I could do something so stupid, and have it turn out so well.”
Steele winked at her. “You have no idea how happy I am that you’ve got good aim, Ms. Hartman. No idea at all.”
****
That evening, the limo dropped Tracy off deep in the bowels of the arena. One of Steele’s assistants, Sheri, welcomed her and brought her to Steele’s dressing room door.
The guard knocked, and when Steele’s voice called, “Come in,” the man opened the door for her.
“Thank you.” She smiled and strolled in, wearing those red boots Steele loved, with jeans, a red tank top, and a black sweater.
“Hey.” He stood from the couch where he’d been reading some papers. “You look really hot.”
“Thanks.” She looked him up and down. “So do you.”
His tight jeans showed off his perfectly macho ass and muscled thighs. The snap-front white and blue plaid shirt hugged every muscle of his chest, arms, and shoulders. He’d rolled up the sleeves and his forearms bulged.
“Why have I never noticed how sexy you are?” She licked her lips.
“Aw, sugarbeet, you just haven’t been lookin’ hard enough.” Pulling her in for a kiss, he tipped her back, dizzying her as her blood raced through her, sexually charging her body.
They’d gone straight back to the hotel after the video shoot ended that afternoon and spent hours making love. She still had a decision to make, but it felt right to at least try to make it work with him. Even if it didn’t end up being forever, she’d take all the happiness she could get for now.
A knock on the door had Steele setting her back on her unsteady feet and calling, “Come in.”
A man she’d never seen before peeked his head in. “Ryder just finished. You’re on in twenty.”
Steele’s body stiffened, but he nodded and the man left.
She caressed his arm. “Do you get the jitters before you go on stage?”
“What?” He looked at her as if he’d forgotten she was there. “No. It’s not that. There are some things I should have dealt with, but I don’t have the energy for it right now.” He paced across the room.
Male voices outside the door caught Steele’s attention and he stopped walking. Another knock sounded on the door. “Who is it?” He didn’t sound happy.
The door swung open, the guard stepped in, closing the door behind him. “Sir, Ryder Landry is insisting on seeing you. I told him he was on the ‘do not allow in’ list, but he says it’s important.”
While the guard spoke, Steele’s eyes narrowed and his hands balled into fists. “Tell him I’ll be right out.”
“Yes, sir.” The guard stepped out and closed the door.
“Steele?” She wanted to go to him, but his whole body told her to keep away.
He stared at the door. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” As he stormed out, she could hear him breathing hard.
What was happening? Ryder was his friend. Was it something about the show? Or, more likely, something about a woman. Before he’d walked out, she’d glimpsed that same anger that had unnerved her at the cabin. She touched the white cowboy hat sitting upside down in a box on the counter. He was one of the good guys. The cowboy in the white hat. Wasn’t he?
Chapter Fifteen
After Steele left to talk to Ryder, Tracy figured it was a good time to run up to the vending level and buy a T-shirt to support the cause and to remind her of this night. She slung her purse strap on her shoulder and opened the door.
The guard nodded. “Ma’am.”
“Hi. I’d like to buy a T-shirt. Which way would I go to get to that level?”
He pointed across the busy backstage area, down a long, dimly lit hallway. “Straight through there. At the end, there’s an elevator. Press M. The tables will be right there.”
“Thanks.” She took a step.
“Hang on a second.” He dug in his back pocket. “You’ll need this to get back down here.” He gave her a hand-sized rectangular patch with the event name and date on it, and the word ‘backstage’ circled.
“Thank you. Can I get you anything?”
His eyebrows shot up.
“Coffee? Nachos? Mini-donuts?”
“Thank you, but no. I’m all set.”
“Okay.” She walked through the crowd then down the empty hallway looking at doors and memorizing names so she wouldn’t get lost on her way back.
She heard voices. Two men arguing. One of them sounded like Steele.
“...have no fucking right to anything.” It was Steele.
“You keep saying that, but I don’t want anything from you.”
She didn’t recognize the other man’s voice. Was it Ryder? She slowed, not knowing where they were, not wanting them to spot her. She backed up into a dark doorway.
“Then why are you always trying to get to me? I don’t want you showing up everywhere I go.”
“You conceited asshole. You fucking backed out of this concert when you heard I was playing, then all of a sudden you decide to swoop down and bless everyone with your God-almighty presence.” There was a bang, as if something hard had been kicked or punched. “And you’re blaming me for following you?” The man let out a bitter laugh. “Do you even hear yourself, Steele?”
“All you need to know is, I don’t want you around me anyplace public, I don’t want you around my family in public, and I don’t want to have to deal with you, and this whole shitty situation, professionally.”
“Professionally? Don’t you think it’d be better to come out with it than have some sleazy reporter dig it up?”
“There’s no way anyone is going to find out, so just back the hell off.”
“Fine. I’m through trying.” His voice got closer, and she slunk deeper into the doorway. “I’ll get out of your life. Goodbye, bro.” His footsteps hit heavily on the concrete as he passed by.
Shaggy dark hair, just over six feet tall, a wiry, muscular body. She caught a glimpse of his face. Ryder Landry. He stomped off.
What were they talking about? She couldn’t imagine what had happened to break up their friendship in such a horrible way. Steele had mentioned his family. Had Ryder done something to one of them?
Slow footsteps sounded, coming her way, and she held her breath.
Steele passed by, his head down, his body language screamed ‘defeated.’ She could go to him, tell him she’d overheard, and try to help him through it, but it didn’t feel right. When he was gone, her knees shook so badly, she slid down the door until her butt hit the floor so she wouldn’t fall.
Hearing Steele talk to a friend, a fellow country singer, the way he had with Ryder, gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. It had to be something that’d been going on for a while, since Reno and Chase knew about it.
She had to end it with him. The man had a violent side to his personality, and no one deserved to have any kind of violence in their life; physical or emotional.
The sure knowledge that this was the right thing to do settled the upheaval in her brain, but it also wrapped thick and painful around her heart. She wanted him—the sweet, kind, sexy man she’d grown to adore. Not the scary guy that came out when he was backed against a wall, figuratively.
She’d tell him tonight on the plane ride back to LA. She got to her feet and practiced a pretend smile. He had a concert to perform, and she’d be there for him. One last time.
****
Steele walked past his dressing room and found a small office that was empty. Closing the door, he pulled out his phone.
He dialed Chase Tanner and sat in the office chair.
“Hey, buddy. Aren’t you supposed to be playin’ your guitar right now?”
Steele planted his elbow on the desk and his forehead in his palm. “Ryder cornered me.”
Chase was silent.
“He wanted to talk about going public with this paternity thing.” The headache behind Steele’s eyes intensified.
“How did that go?” Chase’s voice sounded bleak.
“As bad as you can imagine.” He stood and paced the small room. “I can’t deal with this right now. I’ve got this video bullshit right on top of me, I haven’t been back at the ranch in months, and Tracy...” She was barely willing to discuss a future.
“What about Tracy?” His words came out sharp.
“Seems we want different things from each other.”
A crackle sounded over the phone. Chase had to be smoking one of his big cigars. “Where’s the divide?”
“I want to go forward, she’s okay with ending it.”
Chase grunted. “I knew she was a smart girl.”
“Smart enough to see I’m a mess right now.” He leaned back against the wall. “I can charm my way around Tracy, I think, but Ryder’s not gonna be easy. I’m afraid he’s gonna go public with this just for revenge.”
“Ryder’s not that way, Steele. We’ve known him for years. You two are like gasoline and a blow torch right now, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to make peace.”
Chase was right, but the way the kid came at him all the time just rode hard on his last nerve. “Shit. I overreacted. He came pounding on my dressing room door demanding to see me, and I just wanted to...” He banged his head back against the wall. “Why does this scare the shit out of me, Chase?”
His friend let out a long breath. “You think that the world is going to judge you for having a half-brother that you never knew about until a few months ago. You think that you’re not a big enough star, a good enough singer, a talented enough musician, and people will instantly stop buying your records when they hear about this. You think that all the good shit you do around the world will be forgotten by your fans when they find out you have a half-brother. A brother you didn’t know about. A brother who’s also an amazing musician and a do-gooder like yourself.”
Chase’s speech struck him like a mental head slap. “I’m just too close to the whole thing. Too wrung out by the knowledge that Dad cheated on Mom. While she sat home with me and Val. It makes me so fucking angry, I could put my fist through a wall."
“Don’t do it, buddy. You gotta play a guitar in a few minutes.”
They were probably looking for him right now. “I need to go, but thanks for listening.”
“I’ll call Ryder. See if I can calm him down, and we can all three get together someplace.”
“Thanks.” He hefted out a breath. “You’re pulling my tail out of the fire. Again.”
“Hey, everything will work out if you just think a while before you open your mouth.”
“So, you’re sayin’ I’m a real asshole?”
Chase laughed. “Been sayin’ that for years, buddy. But separate the emotions you feel surrounding your dad from those surrounding Ryder.”
“Tough to do.” He needed a week alone. With Tracy. “Hey, what’s this I hear about you being married?”
“All true. We’re going to announce it and show off Joy at the movie premiere.”
“You think you can keep it quiet for three months?”
“We’re gonna try.”
“Congratulations, man. She’s gonna be good for you.”
“She already is.” Chase’s voice turned soft.
“How’s the baby?”
“God, Steele. She’s so perfect. Little. Those eyes, like looking into a mirror. Smart, and she smiles.” He laughed. “Did any of that make sense?”
“Yeah. It’s damn great to hear you so happy.”
“Yep. I’m a lucky man.” He paused. “Go play some music, buddy.”
“Thanks.” They ended the call and Steele headed back to his dressing room. Along the way, five panicked people told him he was on stage in two minutes. The guard outside his door pushed it open for him. “Your lady’s inside.” The man looked in the room and smiled at Tracy.
It was the first look, other than ‘fierce,’ Steele had seen on the big guy’s face. “Thanks.” He stepped in to find Tracy biting her thumbnail. “Ready, sugar?” His talk with Chase helped calm him a ways, and he managed his own real smile for her. He pulled his hat out of the box and settled it on his head.
He caught her reflection in the mirror. She did not look happy.
He set his phone on the counter next to his wallet and watch. “Sorry I left you alone so long.” He held out his hand. “Won’t happen again. Well, except for the forty minutes I’m on stage tonight.”
She slid her hand in his and a smile wobbled on her lips. “Don’t worry about me. I’m having fun.” Her voice sounded off, but he couldn’t take the time to get into it right now. He kissed her knuckles and let her go. “Sheri’s going to bring you to a spot backstage where you can watch.” And where he could see her.
He stepped onto the dark stage as his band started their newest song. The spotlight hit him, and he was Country’s Real Steele McLairn.
****
Twenty-five minutes into the set, Jeff, his manager’s voice came through his earpiece. “Wrap it up with this song, Steele.”
He looked off to the wing and saw one of his assistants, Sheri, slash her hand across her neck to get him to end his set. What the hell was going on? Oh, shit. Tracy? She wasn’t there any longer. Had something happened to her? He ended the song faster than usual. “Thank you for coming out to support this great cause.” He turned toward his band. “Sorry, guys.”
They all looked confused, but Steele needed to get to his woman. He jogged off the stage to applause spattered with shouts of “One more song.”
He reached his assistant. “What it is? Where’s Tracy?”
“She’s fine. You’re needed in your dressing room.” Sheri started walking as a roadie took his guitar from him. “Please welcome once again...” A voice boomed through the arena. “The Dellwood Brothers.” From the other side of the stage, the trio walked out and one of them talked to Steele’s lead guitar player. They were going to cover for him.
His initial shock gave way to panic. What would make Jeff pull him off stage? He ran, shouting, “Coming through,” as he made his way across the backstage area.
The guard at his door swung it wide for him but didn’t meet his eye. He burst into the room. His manager and Tracy stood looking anxious. Sheri followed him in.
“What is it?” Tracy looked fine. Oh God, Ryder? Did the kid do something stupid? If he did, it would be all Steele’s fault.
Tracy stepped forward, holding Steele’s phone. “We didn’t mean to intrude, but your phone kept ringing, and Sheri came and got me, and we didn’t know what to do. Then a text came in...”
“What is it?” He took the phone from her but stared into her eyes.
“It was your sister. When I saw the text, 911, I knew I needed to answer. I talked to Val.” She grabbed his hand. “It’s your father. He’s in the hospital.”
Steele’s knees wobbled and his stomach dropped. “What happened?”
“She was upset, but I think it’s his heart.” Tears welled in her eyes. “It’s serious, Steele. You need to get home right away.”
His manager and assistant started talking about the jet, ready and waiting, the Dellwood Brothers finishing the show, and the limo driver just being found. But Steele’s attention was 400 miles away with his father. He had to call Val. He had to call...Ryder. “Shit.” He turned to Sheri. “Will you go find Ryder for me? Tell him it’s urgent.”
She looked confused for a moment, but left the room at a full run.
His dad. He hadn’t seen him in months and had left him running the ranch on his own. Steele should have been the
re. This was his fault. What would he do if his dad died?
“Steele.” Tracy’s voice cut through the dark thoughts running through his mind. “Do you want to change before you go?” She looked up at his hat.
He pulled it off and his manager took it and put it in the box. “Leave everything. I’ll take care of it.” Jeff patted Steele’s shoulder. “Your whole family has my prayers.” He walked out of the room.
His whole family. Including Ryder? Steele was the biggest jackass on the planet.
“I packed your bag.” She pointed to the corner where it sat. “You can change on the plane if you want.”
“Yeah. I’ll do that.” He needed to move, but he had to talk to Ryder first.
“Don’t worry about me.” Tracy picked up her purse. “Sheri’s going to help me book a flight to LA.”
Tracy was leaving him? Now? “Come with me. Please.” He needed her, needed her support and just her presence next to him.
Her eyes opened wide. “I’m glad to go to Texas with you if you want, but I’m okay flying home, too. I don’t want to be in the way.”
Pulling her into his arms, he knew he wanted to keep her close indefinitely. “I need you right now. Will you come with me?”
“Of course I will.” She ran her hands up and down his back, her touch comforting him, calming his thundering heart.
The door opened. “Steele.” Sheri’s voice was breathless.
It took all his energy to let go of Tracy. “Ryder?”
“He’s gone. I’m sorry. He left before your set.”
Damn. Should he call him? No. It was an hour flight to Crockett. He’d see his dad. Their dad, then call Ryder. Or have Val call him, if she hadn’t already.
“Thanks, Sheri.” He picked up his bag and set his hand on the small of Tracy’s back. “Let’s go.”
What a great son he was. He was finally able to carve time out of his busy fucking life to see his father.
Chapter Sixteen
Just before midnight, the car, arranged by Sheri, pulled up at the front door of the hospital in Crockett, Texas. Tracy opened her door but Steele was writing an address on a slip of paper. “Deliver our luggage to the McLairn Ranch. Here’s the directions and the phone number in case you get lost.” He pulled a big bill from his pocket and handed it to the driver. “Thanks.”
Heart of Steele Page 13
