DADDY BY CHOICE

by Paula Detmer Riggs

  "What does Glen want?"

  "To fix diesels. Shari's the one who wants to go to medical school. She has this idea we could be partners someday."

  "Would you like that?"

  "Guess I must since I agreed to front her for a year to see if she can hack it."

  Madelyn crossed her arms and inhaled the tantalizing aroma of brewing coffee. "Your dad must be very proud of you."

  He shrugged, glanced down at his scuffed boots. "For a long time we didn't talk much."

  "He sent me the sweetest letter. I … still have it."

  "I figured he was doin' something like that when he asked for your address." Luke reached up to straighten an antique trivet hanging on the wall. "When he found out about the baby bein' adopted, he broke my jaw."

  "Oh, my God." She pressed her fingers against her own jaw. "Did you … did you hit him back? Is that what happened to your knuckle?"

  "I didn't hit him. Didn't even want to." His mouth flattened. "I was just glad he didn't use his bullwhip."

  She went cold inside. "Surely he never—"

  "Once, when the sheriff caught me boosting a six-pack from the minimart."

  "How old were you?"

  "Old enough to know better," he said with a half smile.

  "Is that why you quit school and started rodeoing?"

  "No, I quit school because I was stupid enough to think I knew everything important." Suddenly restless, he opened cupboards until he found coffee mugs. "Don't look so sad, Maddy. Pop and I get along fine now."

  She took the pot from the burner and poured one cup before replacing the pot. He glanced down at the steaming mug, a quizzical look on his face. "Which one of us is going without?"

  "Me," she admitted before indulging in a self-pitying sigh. "I had my miserly eight ounces for breakfast." She inhaled the rising steam lustfully. "After this baby is born, I'm going to drink an entire pot to celebrate."

  She started to pull out her chair, only to have him beat her to it. "Guess you're not fixing to nurse," he said after accepting her thanks with a polite nod.

  "Oh, but I am. Why?"

  "Read the literature Esther sent home with you and you'll know why." He pulled out his own chair and sat, angling his body sideways to accommodate those long legs. His jeans were frayed at the hem and worn white at the knees, just as they'd been when he'd ridden. His boots were worn but good quality.

  "Where's the hundred-dollar cat?" he asked as he wrapped one big hand around the mug to draw it closer.

  "Under the bed I intend to use. We're negotiating territorial rights." She held up her scratched hand.

  "Want me to take a look?"

  "No, I'll just douse it with antiseptic."

  "Don't let it go too long." He took a sip, then saluted her with the mug. "Nice and strong."

  "Thanks for sharing that," she muttered, and he burst out laughing. The rich infectious sound cut to the quick, spreading warmth and something akin to pain.

  "Sorry." He took another, slower sip, his strong throat working as he swallowed. "How about your folks? Are they well?"

  "Daddy injured his back when an engine slipped. He handles the paperwork now. Last I heard he was thinking of selling his interest to Hal."

  "Are they excited about this baby?"

  "Not very, no." Restless, she got up to pour herself a glass of milk. "I wish someone would make milk in capsule form," she muttered as she carried it back to the table.

  Luke smiled, but his gut burned. He wanted to pull her onto his lap and tell her he was excited about her baby. Hell, he was so thrilled he kept smiling at odd times, just thinking about the look she'd have on her face when she held her baby for the first time. But that was personal and private. "You're taking calcium supplements, right?"

  "Four horse pills a day." She took a tiny sip, then grimaced and licked her lower lip. She had a beautiful mouth, soft and silky and wonderfully responsive.

  "As soon as you can, I'd like for you to arrange to tour the birthing suites at Port Gen, and while you're there, make your delivery reservation. I'll write you an order to have your blood work done so it'll be on file."

  "Esther gave me a list of Lamaze classes."

  "You'll need a partner," he said, taking his seat again.

  "I think I might ask Raine."

  He nodded. "I heard enough of your conversation yesterday to figure out Mr. Foster is givin' you some trouble."

  "He's worried about what folks will think of him."

  "Did he throw it up to you about our baby?" he asked because he had to.

  She dropped her gaze. "Yes, at first, but after I made myself into a perfect wife, he forgave me."

  Luke's temper kindled, white-hot and threatening. It caught him off guard, and it was all he could do to pull it back before it flashed. "That jerk didn't deserve you," he grated through a tight jaw.

  Her smile was edged with some dark emotion. "I think he'd argue the point, but after he rejected this child, I stopped caring about what he thinks or wants or doesn't want."

  It was tempting to dump his anger on a man he'd come to detest. Too tempting. "None of this would have happened if I hadn't let you down."

  "It's tempting to let you believe that, but the truth is I signed the adoption papers, not you. I…" She stopped and made a visible effort to swallow.

  "Maddy, don't," he ordered gruffly, his entire body going taut against the need to pull her into his arms. Only the certain knowledge that he would be lost if he did kept him from moving.

  She cleared her throat. "Sorry. I had a … a pregnant moment," she said with a shaky laugh. "That seems to happen a lot these days."

  He managed a smile that felt stiff. "I'm used to it." Averting his gaze, he studied a splash of sunlight on the kitchen tile. It had been a mistake accepting her as a patient. His feelings had gone deeper than he'd thought. Maybe too deep.

  He glanced up to find her watching him. In the sunlight her hair was the color of sun-ripened wheat, and her lashes were tipped with gold. He wanted to tell her she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, but he didn't have the right. "Maddy, maybe this isn't such a good idea, your being my patient."

  Madelyn felt a jolt of alarm. "What do you mean?"

  "There's a reason doctors don't treat kin. In a crisis a doc needs to be totally detached and rational. Personal feelings can get in the way. Will get in the way, in fact."

  "But we're not kin, and besides, you delivered Raine and Prudy. You obviously have feelings for them."

  "Raine and Stacy MacAuley came to me as patients first. Prudy and I became friends after her miscarriage, so yeah, she was a friend when I delivered Chloe, but you're the mother of my only child."

  She couldn't think about that now. "I rearranged my life so that I could have the best doctor possible. That's you, Luke. Whatever happened in the past is finished. This baby is what counts."

  His jaw tightened. "All right, we'll keep things as they are for now. Just to be on the safe side, though, I'm going to arrange a consultation visit with Karen Winslow so she'll be aware of potential problems in case you go into labor when I'm not available."

  "Is she a specialist in high-risk pregnancies, too?"

  He nodded. "She was one of my residents before she went into private practice, the best I've ever had. What I know, she knows."

  On the surface that sounded perfectly reasonable, even conscientious and certainly prudent. "That makes sense of course."

  "I'll have Dorie set it up and give you a call."

  "All right."

  He downed the last of his coffee and got up to carry the cup to the sink. "Before I go, you'd best give me your number here."

  "It's on the phone." She rose to walk past him to the end of the counter where a portable unit was half-hidden behind a crock full of wooden spoons. Dauntingly efficient, Harriet had left both pad and pen nearby.

  "Amazingly Harriet doesn't have an answering machine, but I intend to get one the next time I go shopping," she said as
she tore the paper from the pad and handed it to him.

  He tucked it into his wallet before thanking her for the coffee. Both fell silent as she walked him to the front door and opened it.

  "You and your baby are important to me, Madelyn." His voice was suddenly steel hard, his eyes intense. "But you need to know that I'm walking a very fine line here between the personal and the professional. If there comes a time when I'm in danger of crossing it, I'll turn you over to Winslow whether you agree or not."

  She wanted to argue. She wanted to resent him, but as she watched him head down the walk toward his Jeep, she realized she was in grave danger of losing some of that objectivity herself. It was a troubling thought.

  * * *

  Chapter 9

  « ^ »

  Madelyn called her mother at five Oregon time. After making a note of Madelyn's phone number and address and asking about her visit with the doctor, Rebecca Smith had gone straight for the jugular.

  "The talk's startin' up again, Maddy Sue. Miz Groves down at the In 'n Out mentioned how some folks are sayin' the baby's not Wiley's, which is why he up and divorced you so quicklike."

  "That bastard!" Madelyn cried in helpless fury. "I knew he was up to something."

  "Madelyn Sue Smith, you were raised up better than that!"

  "I'm sorry, Mama." The apology was automatic, the result of thirty-nine years of parental admonitions. The truth was she wasn't sorry at all.

  "Wiley Roy's doin' his best to defend you, but like he told your daddy and me, this is such a small town. He was thinkin' it might be a good idea if you were to relocate permanentlike after the baby's born."

  Something in her mother's tone had her going cold inside. "Is that what you and Daddy want—for me to leave town for good?"

  There was a pause that seemed to go on forever before her mother said stiffly, "It might be for the best, what with your daddy's blood pressure and all."

  "I see."

  "Honey, it's not really such a bad idea," Rebecca rushed to assure her, sounding enthusiastic for the first time since she'd come on the line. "You've always talked about living in the city, and El Paso's not that far. You could even go to Houston or maybe even Dallas. You can always get yourself a good job, especially if you resign, instead of getting yourself fired."

  "Who said anything about my getting fired?" Madelyn said quickly, her stomach suddenly queasy.

  "No one yet, but like Wiley said, the board of education frowns on scandal."

  "What scandal?" Madelyn's voice rose, but she didn't care. "I'm having my husband's child. He's the one who divorced me. The one who's stirring up all the gossip so that he looks like the wronged party. Saint Wiley the Martyr."

  "Madelyn!"

  "I'm … no, I am not sorry," Madelyn said firmly, even though her throat went dry. "Wiley Roy Foster is a pig."

  There was another pause, during which Madelyn heard the sound of voices outside the kitchen door. An instant later someone knocked on the screen. "I have to go, Mama," she said as she levered herself to her feet. "Someone's at my door."

  "Maddy, your daddy and I only want what's best for you." Her mother's tone dripped with hints of accusation that had an apology quivering on Madelyn's tongue. Instead, she set her jaw and walked to the door.

  "I'll call next Sunday, Mama. Hi to Daddy." She hung up before she dug herself any deeper into her mother's bad books.

  After setting the phone on the counter, she drew open the door to find Prudy and Raine standing on the small porch. Prudy had a large pizza box in her hand and a huge smile on her face.

  "We brought dinner. Pepperoni and mushrooms with a side of anchovies for Precious."

  "And dessert," Raine added, peeling back the lid of a plastic container to reveal brownies slathered in dark chocolate.

  "Forgive me if I drool," Madelyn said with a laugh as she stepped back to let them enter. For the first time in years she felt young and happy—and, she realized with a stutter of surprise, free to do or be exactly what she pleased. Take that, Mr. Wiley Bastard Foster, she wanted to shout as her new neighbors made themselves at home.

  "I have lemonade from a jug," she offered, her hand on the fridge door. "Or milk," she added belatedly, glancing at the glass that was still nearly full.

  "Lemonade, please," Raine decided, stripping off lids. Prudy asked for the same.

  Madelyn debated. Pitchers were for guests. Cartons were for family, she decided, putting a pitcher on the table before searching the cupboards for glasses.

  "Who's watching your boys?" she asked Raine over her shoulder.

  "Case." She and Prudy shared a devilish look. "When I left, Chloe and Lily were playing with their Barbies on the floor, and Case was sitting on the couch with a twin clamped under each arm, watching Winnie the Pooh for the gazillionth time."

  "Case sounds like a wonderful daddy," Madelyn said, finding plates and a spatula to serve the pizza.

  Prudy glanced up from the pizza she'd just uncovered and smiled, her eyes going soft. "He wasn't always. But he worked at it, and now I can't imagine him any other way."

  Madelyn's heart yearned as she dealt out the plates. Reminding herself that a child didn't need two parents to feel cherished, she pulled out a chair and settled into it.

  "Luke called this afternoon," Raine offered as she took the chair opposite Madelyn's. "Said he tried to reach you at the hotel, and when they told him you'd checked out, he called to see if you'd taken this place. He sounded relieved when I told him you had."

  "That's our darling L.J.," Prudy said, her amber eyes carefully innocent. "Always looking out for his friends."

  Madelyn took a sip of milk. Talking about Luke in anything but the most impersonal terms was more difficult than she'd expected. "He stopped by earlier and offered to move furniture," she forced herself to admit.

  "I hope you let him," Prudy said, her eyes taking on an impish twinkle. "There's nothing like furniture moving to show the biggest toughest guy who's really in charge."

  Madelyn blinked. "It never occurred to me."

  "He apologized for snapping at me," Raine added as she helped herself to a slice of pizza. "Even offered to come over and unstop my toilet as penance."

  "Why should L.J. think he needs to pay penance?" Prudy demanded, separating two slices of pizza.

  Raine shrugged. "He had a testosterone moment this morning when I asked him if his back was hurting him. I'd already forgotten it of course, but since he opened this particular door, I'm not passing up an opportunity to make him pay just a little."

  "I didn't realize Luke had a back problem," Madelyn ventured as she settled her napkin on her lap.

  Prudy opened her mouth, then shut it. Raine gave her a curious look before explaining, "Luke was on the rodeo circuit when he was just a kid. I don't know all the details because he won't talk about those years, but from the little tidbits I've picked up here and there, I gather he was thrown and injured his spine."

  "Is he in much pain?" Madelyn asked, remembering the hard wince that had crossed his face.

  "I have a feeling he is. He limps sometimes, too, though he tries to hide it. I mentioned it once and he nearly took my head off." Raine's grin flashed. "As you no doubt noticed."

  Madelyn exhaled slowly. "I feel as though I should apologize."

  Raine studied her for a moment, speculation in her eyes. "Are you always this eager to take the blame?"

  "No, of course not. I…" Her voice trailed off as she realized she did feel guilty because Luke had turned surly.

  "I'm sorry, that was horribly rude," Raine said with a sigh. "Obviously Morgan's passion for asking nosy questions has rubbed off on me." She leaned forward to take another bite. "I'll now fill up my mouth so that I won't be tempted to ask how long you and Luke have known each other." Her eyes took on a teasing sparkle. "Although if you should feel the need to unburden yourself, Prue and I are completely willing to listen."

  Caught off guard, Madelyn nearly choked on the milk she'd been si
pping. "I … he's my doctor."

  "He's my doctor, too, but he never looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes the way he looks at you."

  Madelyn felt a pressure in her chest. "We have a professional relationship, nothing more."

  "Maybe now, but once…" Raine lifted her eyebrows. "The man I saw this morning would lie down and die for you—and count himself blessed."

  Madelyn didn't believe that for an instant. "Guilt will do that sometimes," she said before she remembered she scarcely knew the women across from her.

  "I agree with Raine," Prudy contributed softly. "It wasn't guilt I saw at the Mallory when he was ordering me to take care of you."

  Better to get the truth out now, Madelyn decided. Part of it, anyway.

  "We met once when we were just kids. Seventeen and eighteen. He came to my hometown to compete in the rodeo at the fairgrounds. He was big and wicked and handsome as the devil himself. Even better, he had a number pinned to his shirt and a reckless look in his eye." She sighed now at the memory of the wild excitement that had shot through her.

  "He asked me for my ponytail ribbon to tie around his arm for luck when he rode." Her smile mocked the gullible girl she'd been. "After he took first place, he refused to give me back my ribbon. Said he was going to wear it every time he rode from then on."

  Raine's expression said that she understood perfectly. "And of course you fell in love on the spot."

  "I thought so at the time. Or maybe I only remember it that way now to ease my conscience." She picked up her milk and sipped, her hand steady even as her stomach performed flip-flops. "We used protection every time, but I still got pregnant. I wrote him, and then I waited for him to come back and marry me." She took another sip, but her throat was still dry. "He showed up two weeks after I'd given our daughter up for adoption."

  "Oh, my God," Raine whispered over the sound of Prudy's indrawn breath.

  "I'm so very sorry," Prudy said softly as she reached out to squeeze Madelyn's hand. Madelyn thanked her with a smile.