The WWW Club

by Anita Notaro

  “You’re one lucky girl, Ellie.”

  “How d’ya mean?”

  “You could so easily have ended up like the rest of your family.” They both laughed.

  “Well, Claire’s not so bad. Mind you, she escaped early and went to London so I never really got to know her. And growing up she was always into her music, so I remember going off by myself all the time to play with my dolls, anything to escape Mum and Orla’s constant nagging. It’s no wonder I blurt out everything I’m thinking these days. I spent years with no one to talk to, or at least no one to answer me back.”

  “Well, when I see how you could have turned out, I’m very glad. No offense,” Toni added quickly, not wanting to upset Ellie.

  “None taken. Well, it should be easier in Olga’s house, at least. Don’t suppose you’d like to join me?”

  “Yeah, OK, although I can only stay an hour or so.”

  “Suits me. I’ll swing by and pick you up and I can collect the Clarins.”

  Olga was delighted to see them and Toni brought a cuddly toy for Rudi.

  “Antonia, so nice. Come in, come in.” She was in good form. Toni always cheered her up. Olga told Ellie once that she’d never met anyone so exotic.

  “Olga, I hope you don’t mind, but I brought you some things I picked up in a sale recently. They were all wrong for one reason or another and generally you can’t return the reduced stuff.” The Russian woman seemed really pleased and tried everything on. Rudi played away happily and the gas fire was lit and they ordered in Chinese—Ellie’s treat. Toni only had a starter and a vegetarian one at that, and left shortly afterward to get a taxi into town.

  “I like your friends. They make me smile,” said Olga.

  “Yes, they’re great. You should come out with us for brunch some Saturday.” No matter how many times Ellie suggested it Olga always made an excuse and Ellie was never sure if it was only the money aspect—Ellie had told her often enough that they normally went to little cafes that served snacks as well as full meals. Olga just didn’t seem to want to make the effort.

  “Are you OK? You seem a bit … off form lately?”

  “Yes, I’m just tired. Once I am feeling stronger I will come, I promise.” It was always the same comment lately, although Olga looked as strong as a horse.

  “Are you still feeling down generally? Although, you do seem in great form today?” Ellie asked.

  “Physically I am fine; mentally I am fragile.”

  “Well, getting out might help. And don’t forget I’m around to babysit, if you fancy a night out with other people.”

  Olga hugged her. “You are a true friend.” It wasn’t the first time she’d said it and it always made Ellie feel guilty that she wasn’t doing more.

  Ellie was in bed by ten with only a cup of cocoa for company and felt rested and bright on Monday morning, although she couldn’t help feeling her weekends were lacking in excitement. Maybe there was something in Toni’s philosophy after all. She could do with a bit of the buzz that a new relationship brought herself, although even as she thought about it Ellie realized she didn’t have the balls for an affair.

  Eighteen

  Jack was whistling in the kitchen and the hound was nowhere to be seen, a good start to the week. The girls jumped up when they saw Ellie. Jessie hugged her and Sam wanted to show her the new dress her Aunty Kate had bought her.

  “Wow, it’s so pretty. Will you try it on for me after school?” Sam nodded shyly, loving and hating the attention.

  “Cup of coffee?” Jack asked, pouring one without waiting for her answer.

  “Thanks, just a half. I’m trying to cut back on my caffeine intake.”

  “Listen, next week there’ll be a survey saying it’s good for you and water is bad. Just enjoy life, that’s my philosophy.”

  “So I see.” She eyed the empty wine bottles lined up beside the waste bin.

  “Oh yeah, Kate and Bill came round for Sunday lunch. It sort of went on a bit. I actually cooked a roast, can you believe it? I must get to the bottle bank later, though.”

  “Want me to do it? We pass one on the way to Sam’s school.”

  “Sure, great. There are rather a lot, mind you. There’s a crateful on the patio.”

  “I’m a big girl. Besides, with my friends I have to hire a dumper to get to the bottle bank.” She grinned and he smiled back.

  “Thanks.”

  Later that morning, Ellie had an hour to spare so she decided to hoover and polish his bedroom to give Mrs. O’Sullivan a hand. It was the same as his study, heavy curtains pulled, books and newspapers everywhere and it had an airless, stuffy sort of smell, though it was not unpleasant. She’d sniffed far worse at the gym. She threw open the huge window and changed the bed, then tidied away his clothes and emptied the overflowing laundry basket. It felt a bid odd to be going through his clothes, though, so she merely gave the room a quick vacuum and polish and left it to air.

  In the afternoon she took the girls to the park and they played tennis and bought ice cream, even though it was quite a chilly late-autumn day. As they fell in the door later, laughing and teasing, Jack was coming down the stairs with a face that would turn milk sour.

  “Hi, Dad. We had a great day. I beat Nora at tennis.” Sam didn’t notice anything was wrong.

  “I had a nana ice cream.” Jess was determined not to be outdone.

  “I bet you get a pain in your tummy later.” He tickled her and she screamed and curled up in a ball on the floor.

  Ellie headed for the kitchen and the mutt eyed her suspiciously. He doesn’t like me, she thought. “It’s mutual,” she hissed as she passed and then felt guilty and decided to try and bribe him with a few treats when no one was watching later.

  The girls headed upstairs to change and Ellie started their dinner, knowing they’d be ravenous from all the fresh air.

  Jack followed her into the kitchen. “Is something wrong?” she blurted out as soon as Sam and Jess had gone, knowing something bloody well was.

  “You were in my bedroom.” He might as well have said “you nicked my granny’s antique jewelry.” The air of gravity was about the same. Damn, he’d got her again, she should have checked. It was just that most women were so grateful if you did anything you hadn’t been asked to do. She was learning that men were different.

  “Don’t worry, I avoided the porn mags.” It was the wrong thing to say but she desperately wanted to get back to the easiness of this morning. He seemed taken aback, then looked as if he might see the funny side but just as quickly changed his mind.

  “I don’t like anyone going near my personal space.”

  “I just thought it neede—”

  “You should have checked with me first.”

  “Look, we have to lay down some ground rules here. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. You said not to go near your study but you never said anything about your bedroom.”

  “I wasn’t expecting you to clean my room. Mrs. O’Sullivan normally does that kind of thing.” He clearly wasn’t happy.

  “I was only trying to help out.” Ellie felt frustrated. “Mrs. O’S been feeling tired lately.”

  He ignored that. “I don’t like people prying. I’m a very private person.”

  “Well, I apologize but I wasn’t to know. Besides, all I did was change the bed and clear out the laundry basket.”

  “I’m quite capable of looking after myself. I told you that at the start. I’ve been doing it for a long time. Even my wife never had to wash my boxers.”

  “That bad, eh?” It was her second mistake. His eyes narrowed and she didn’t like the look he gave her. She could feel her face warming up nicely.

  “Please don’t go near my bedroom or my study without my permission.” It was icy cold.

  “Fine, I understand. Sorry again.” They both turned away at exactly the same moment and he slammed the door just as she banged a pot.

  The atmosphere was still as frigid an hour later when Kate dropped
by unexpectedly.

  “Hi, Eleanora, nice to see you again. How are you settling in? Are they driving you nuts?”

  “No, it’s fine.” Ellie was genuinely glad to see the other woman. “Can I get you a coffee?”

  “Love one, thanks. So, girls, what did you have for dinner?”

  “Fish.” Sam made a face.

  “I hate fish but Nora does it and it’s lovely,” Jess told her. “And we were allowed waffles, my favorite.” She finished her milk and tottered off in an old pair of high heels she’d found, after bringing her plate over to the sink to Ellie.

  “Thanks, hon.” Sam followed. “Do you two want to watch a video?” Ellie asked the older child.

  “No. I’m drawing a picture of schoolgirls for Dad. He likes short skirts.”

  “And when did he tell you this?” Kate was smiling.

  “He didn’t. It’s a surprise. Georgia and me heard him talking to the … Nora, what do you call the man from England with the red hair?”

  “His editor?” Ellie had no idea.

  “Yep. He said girls in short skirts do it for him every time. Georgia said that means he likes them.” She wandered off, crayons in hand.

  Both women were still smiling seconds later when Jack came into the kitchen.

  “Oh, hi, sis. Didn’t hear you come in. What’s up?” Kate sensed the atmosphere immediately, Ellie positively bristled when she heard his voice.

  “Nothing. Just passing and wanted to say hello to Eleanora. Make sure you weren’t working her too hard.”

  “Not a chance, although she might be doing that all by herself.” It was an obvious reference to his bedroom. Well, he could rot in it from now on.

  “We’re both still getting used to each other, working out a routine. I expect it will take a while.” Ellie’s smile could have curdled the milk, but she was not going to slag him, no matter how fed up she was with his moods today.

  “Well, I’ve never seen the kids so relaxed and I’ve never, ever known them to eat fish, so well done you.” She winked at the younger woman.

  “Thanks.” She turned to Jack and smiled sweetly. “It’s fish pie. I’ve left you a portion ready to be heated up.”

  “Thanks. I’ll probably work late tonight anyway.”

  “Got a lot on?” Kate was still wondering what had happened between them.

  “Yeah, my editor’s being a right pain this week—e-mails flying.” He looked tired and stressed. “Actually, that’s not fair, it’s my fault. Having missed my deadline I’m now taking almost as much time again with the edit. I’d be tearing my hair out if I was dealing with me.”

  “Is that the editor who likes chatting to you about girls in short skirts?”

  “What?” He looked bemused. Kate explained and he smiled. “Oh that, just typical male fantasy, I’m afraid.” He made an excuse and left.

  “So what’s up?”

  “Nothing at all.”

  “He’s obviously said something to upset you.”

  “No, really.” Ellie was not about to bad-mouth him, no matter how much she wanted to burst into tears at that moment. Must be PMT. “As I said, we’re just getting used to each other. It must be difficult having a stranger come and go every day.”

  “Look, Eleanora, I …”

  “Please, call me Ellie.”

  “Ellie, I know my brother. He’s very private and he can be a bit brutal with words sometimes, but I promise you he’s a good man and—”

  “Please, Kate.” Ellie didn’t want to hear this. “It’s fine, really. Just one of those days. By tomorrow it’ll all be back to normal.”

  “I’d be happy to talk to him if he’s upset you.” Ellie shook her head fiercely. “It’s all to do with Lorna, I’m afraid. She rode roughshod over everyone, including him, and now he’s become a bit paranoid.”

  “Listen, I’d really rather just forget it, if that’s OK? Talking about it is just turning it into something major, and it’s not, honestly. I just overstepped the mark earlier, that’s all. I’m still learning.” She smiled weakly. “More coffee?”

  “No thanks, I’d better be off. Monsters to feed. Promise you’ll call me if things get on top of you?”

  “Sure.”

  “OK then. Talk soon. Bye.” On her way out she put her head round the study door but stayed where she was, anxious not to disturb him. “I’m off.”

  “OK. Everything all right?”

  “You tell me.”

  He sighed. Women, they always ganged up on him. “What’s she been saying?” he asked reluctantly.

  “Absolutely nothing. And I really tried, you know me.” She took a step into the room and closed the door. “Look, Jack, she’s exactly what you need. The kids love her, they’ve been to the park, played tennis, had fish for dinner, for God’s sake.” She sounded slightly exasperated. “Also, she seems like a really nice, ordinary girl. What more can you ask for? Your dinner is made and the kitchen is spotless.”

  “Look, I don’t care about the goddamn kitchen and I care even less about having food prepared for me.” He made an effort to tone down his voice. “A bit of privacy would be very nice, though,” he mumbled.

  “So that’s it. I knew it. What did she do?”

  “Nothing, forget it.”

  “OK.” She sighed. “Please, Jack, give her a chance. Talk to her, tell her what’s acceptable and what’s not.”

  He said nothing so she made her exit. “You can be a bit odd about things sometimes, you know.” He didn’t answer and his face looked set again.

  “Bye then.”

  “Bye.”

  When he returned to the kitchen all ready to call a truce Ellie was ready to leave for the evening. Her good night was curt. Jack looked around. Kate was right. The kids were shiny happy people and the place was spotless. There was even a loaf of brown bread cooling on a wire rack. He nooked the pie and reluctantly admitted it was delicious. Damn, he was going to have to grovel in the morning.

  Ellie bought herself two jam doughnuts in Superquinn on the way home, and ate them in the car. How could a day that had started so well end up so miserable? She hated tension and as usual she’d stuck her two big feet right in to lighten things. She couldn’t believe she’d made that stupid joke about porn mags. Or boxers. She groaned.

  Well, she’d just have to tread more carefully where he was concerned. She’d dump all his clean clothes in a laundry basket first thing in the morning and leave it outside his door. She just realized she’d forgotten to close the windows in his room. Now he’d have something else to moan about.

  She couldn’t get a parking space when she arrived home, which rounded off a horrible afternoon. At least she’d also bought a Waitrose Chicken Chow Mein and a “mini trifle with glacé cherries and real dairy cream.” Fuck the club, she wasn’t going.

  Nineteen

  “Where’s Ellie?”

  “Not feeling well, apparently. She left a message about an hour ago.”

  “Great.” Pam cheered up instantly. “Not that she’s sick, no, that’s not good, but look, let’s put this off till later in the week.” As usual, she was looking for an escape.

  “No way. I’ve made us a chicken Caesar salad without the anchovies or Parmesan or dressing.”

  “Any chicken?” Maggie asked hopefully.

  Toni laughed at the dripping sarcasm. “Of course, but it’s boiled instead of fried or roasted. All that oil. Yuck. And I’ve added bean sprouts, pumpkin seeds and some polenta.” She glanced around, hoping for some brownie points.

  “Well, forgive me for asking because the last dinner I prepared from scratch was in 1987, but in what way does this resemble a Caesar salad exactly?” Pam raised her eyebrows.

  “Look, you wouldn’t know an anchovy from a smoked cod in batter, so shut up until you’ve tasted it.” Toni swiped at Pam with a tea towel.

  Maggie decided it just might get nasty. Toni was trying but Pam was obviously hungry and not in the mood for rabbit food. “Listen, I have a p
roposal. Let’s leave the weigh-in until next week so that we’re all still together on this, OK?” Pam breathed a sigh of relief and Toni opened her mouth to protest, so she rushed right on. “It’s raining and miserable out there so I can’t really see us going for a jog. Besides, there’s a double episode of Corrie on, so how about we enjoy our, eh, dinner and that way we won’t have ruined the day and we’ll feel very healthy for tomorrow.”

  “Are we allowed a glass of wine?” Pam asked hopefully.

  “No way. Water or green tea.” Toni was adamant. “Oh, go on then. And there’s some focaccia bread in the kitchen if anyone fancies a slice.” They did.

  Ellie felt tired and bloated the next morning. She’d polished off the Chinese, which was supposed to be for two—like everything else in the world—scoffed the trifle plus a Mars bar that was in the fridge, and opened a packet of Tayto crisps for the second Corrie. When she was getting ready for bed she felt all shivery, sure sign of a cold coming on, so she made herself a Lemsip and, in a fit of pique—or madness—added a generous splash of whiskey to help her sleep. It was definitely not recommended by the manufacturers and she climbed under the covers feeling like the world was against her. Everything must have congealed nicely during the night because she hardly slept a wink and woke with foul, oniony breath from the crisps and a headache from the alcohol. The occasional belch of chow mein and Lemsip on the way to work didn’t help.

  She arrived determined not to let them see she was still upset, so she breezed in calling good morning in the vague direction of his study and went in search of the girls.

  “Hi, Nora.” They were both still in their night clothes in front of the TV, eating bowls of cereal. “Want to watch SpongeBob, SquarePants?”

  Jess made room for her.

  “Hello there. What’s up? You’ll be late for school. How come you aren’t dressed?”

  “Dad’s still in bed so we had no one to shout at us,” Sam explained.

  “OK, well I’m here so hop it, now.”