Completely Consumed (Addicted To You, Book Eight)
Page 7
Elijah didn’t answer for a long moment. Finally, he glanced at her. “Listen, I’m giving you a ride to New York City. I’m not here to explain my life story to you.”
“Who said anything about your life story? You just lied to a cop about your name. Either that, or you’re lying to me. Any way you look at it, it’s pretty messed up.”
He shook his head, then smirked. “Oh, that’s pretty rich coming from you, Caelyn.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look at you,” he said, glancing at her again, his eyes raking up and down her body from head to toe. “You’re a mess. Your freaking skirt is ripped, your shirt’s all stretched out, makeup’s running down your face. It’s pretty damn obvious you’re running away from something. But did I try and demand that you tell me about it?”
Her mouth opened and closed. She crossed her arms over her chest and shrank away from him. The way he’d looked at her and spoken to her—it had been so brutal, so cruel in a way. She hadn’t expected that. Is that what he’d been thinking, is that why he hadn’t really looked at her since he’d picked her up on the highway?
“You’re right,” she almost whispered. “I’m not going to ask you anything. Just pull over and let me out.”
“Caelyn,” he said, his voice apologetic now. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s just – ”
“LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR.”
“I’m not putting you out on the highway,” he told her.
She pointed to a rest stop up ahead. “You won’t be letting me out on the highway. Look, there’s a travel plaza right there.”
“It’s only another hour to New York and the bus station.”
She looked at him and met his eyes. “Let me out, Elijah. I don’t want to go anywhere with you. Understand?”
His jaw set. “Fine,” he said, in a clipped tone.
A moment later, he was pulling into the rest stop and parking the SUV. “Let me just explain one thing,” he started to say.
But Caelyn had already grabbed her purse and bag, opened the passenger door, and started getting out of the car. She was so done talking to him—she was furious, and she could feel the rage flowing through every crevice of her body.
How dare he look at her like that, talk to her like that, judge her like that?
She immediately began walking toward the entrance of the convenience store that was linked to the rest stop. Caelyn was walking fast, not looking back, her hands clutching her purse and bag.
Once she got inside, she pretended to look at some snacks, just for something to do while she regained her composure.
She wouldn’t look up to watch him drive away, either, she decided. She could already picture his SUV pulling out and leaving the area. He would be gone and she’d never see him again. For some reason Caelyn couldn’t even fathom, the idea of him leaving hurt badly. It hit her in the chest and stomach like a vicious cramp.
Why did she care? He clearly had a screw loose, and he was a liar, and he was mean on top of it all.
She grabbed a Slim Jim, even though she didn’t even like them, just so that nobody would think she was crazy for standing in the aisle and doing nothing but staring at the snacks.
The door chimed as it opened, and she didn’t look up to see who was coming in.
She didn’t want to be disappointed when someone else’s face greeted her.
But why do you still want to see Elijah? Why did you make him drop you off if you still want to be with him?
There was no good answer.
She looked down at the dirty floor of the convenience store as footsteps approached.
“I’m not going to leave you here,” the familiar voice said from just beside her.
His tone was gruff and commanding, and she almost gave in. Almost. But the wave of relief that flooded her body was quickly countered by another wave of anger.
“Leave me alone,” she said, walking away from him again, even as a voice inside of her told her to stop pushing him away. If she kept it up, he really might listen.
But she couldn’t seem to stop herself. The door chimed again as she pushed her way out of the store.
“Caelyn!” Elijah yelled. She heard him coming after her, and she quickened her pace, not sure if she wanted him to catch her.
Then, suddenly, another voice pierced the air.
“Sir, your girlfriend is walking out of the store with unpaid for merchandise!
That’s our Slim Jim!” the voice of the cashier yelled.
Caelyn spun around and threw the Slim Jim, hitting Elijah in the chest with it. He fumbled it, but eventually held on.
“I don’t even like Slim Jims!” she yelled.
Elijah turned and gave the item back to the irate cashier, who said something inaudible to him. And then Elijah followed her outside, to the curb, where she was now sitting, head in her hands.
She was crying and shaking.
Everything was flooding through her -- the memories from the previous night, the things she’d tried to push away. It was all coming back.
“Can I sit down?” Elijah asked softly.
She nodded, not really able to talk. But she found that she did in fact want him to sit next to her, and when he did, she enjoyed his closeness. He didn’t sit too close, either, just near enough for her to feel his presence.
“Elijah’s my real name,” he said, after a bit.
She wiped some tears from her eyes and sniffed. She felt drained, completely drained, but in a weird way, it didn’t feel horrible. She’d needed to release the anger and the fear and the upset. The truth was, she’d been through hell and hadn’t yet really processed any of it.
She looked at Elijah, sitting there next to her, his profile strong as he stared out across the parking lot. The part of his hair that flopped over his forehead ruffled slightly in the breeze, and Caelyn resisted the urge to reach up and push it off his face. “Why do you have another name you give to the police?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
But he surprised her. “It’s a long story, and maybe someday I’ll have a chance to tell it to you. But let’s just say that you’re not the only one running away from something.” He turned to her, and their eyes met. And in that moment, Caelyn realized why it was she’d felt so safe with him. He was running away, too. They were the same, at least on some level.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “It’s okay.” And it was. Sure, Elijah just admitted that he’d lied to the police. It probably meant that he had done other bad things as well. But in a strange way, what was more important was, at least at that moment, he was telling her the truth. And he didn’t have to do that.
She could see the hurt and pain reflected in his eyes, and she wondered what kind of secrets he was hiding. Whatever they were must have been painful and dark and raw.
It was almost too much to take, staring at him like that, and she had to look away.
“You’re right, I am a mess,” she admitted, pulling out her pocket mirror and seeing the mascara running down her cheeks. She looked like someone had just taken a flamethrower to a statue in the wax museum. Why hadn’t she thought to at least wash her face?
“What do you say we go inside and grab something to eat?” Elijah asked her. He stood up and reached his hand out to her. She took it, and his grip was strong and comforting as he pulled her to her feet.
“Shouldn’t we be getting back on the road?”
“I checked the times on the busses going to Florida, and we’ve got a couple of hours to spare.”
She smiled a little. He’d taken the time to check on the bus schedule, and he’d come after her even though she’d yelled and screamed and told him to leave her alone.
Whatever else Elijah might be, he was certainly doing more than he needed to for a girl he’d just met.
“I am kind of hungry,” she admitted.
“Obviously. The way you took off out of there with that Slim Jim in hand?” He shook his head. “You probably could have
won the Olympic gold medal for the fifty-yard dash.”
Caelyn laughed, her belly loosening, the laughter sounding and feeling more and more real—natural—like her old self. He was smiling, and she realized how close they were standing. His eyes were warm and soft as he looked at her.
For a moment, she almost thought he was going to kiss her, and her heart sped up, but then he didn’t. She looked past him into the convenience store and saw the cashier still giving her the evil eye. “Yeah, we should probably avoid going back in that way.”
“You heard what he called you, right?” Elijah said, leading her toward the other entrance.
“No, what?”
“He thought you were my girlfriend,” Elijah said, glancing at her as if to see her reaction.
“Yeah, well, you seem to be encouraging people to think that about me,” she replied.
“Me? How is this my fault?” He opened the door and held it for her as she walked past him.
“You told that cop that I was your girlfriend. Now people are just assuming it.
You started a rumor,” she chided him. “And now we’ll never live it down.”
“Maybe we should play it up instead.” His voice was mischievous and flirty, and she remembered how his hand had felt against her leg when they’d gotten pulled over.
She didn’t say anything for a moment as they stood there and surveyed the interior of the rest stop. There was the convenience store on the left, and then the restrooms, and then to the right was a decent sized cafeteria, which was home to a half-dozen fast food restaurants.
“What do you mean play it up?” Caelyn asked. They were standing shoulder-to-shoulder, almost touching but not quite.
“Like, if everyone is going to just assume we’re together…we could pretend to be together.”
“But we’re not,” she clarified.
“Oh, no, of course not.” He shook his head. “We’re totally not.”
She glanced at him, and was surprised to see he was looking at her. His eyes were intense, and one side of his mouth was pulled up into playful grin, almost like he was daring her to say yes.
“I wouldn’t mind pretending,” she said, mostly because she knew he wasn’t expecting her to. “But you have to promise not to do anything too crazy.”
“Oh, you can trust me,” he said. “I’m very trustworthy.” He moved a little closer, so that their arms were touching. Shivers ran up Caelyn’s arms, and goose bumps broke out on her skin.
She liked the way it felt, being close to him.
But a second later, she found herself stepping away.
“Don’t worry,” Elijah said, all traces of playfulness gone from his voice. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” And then he reached his hand out—it didn’t have far to go—and took her hand in his. “But we can do this, right?”
An imperceptible shiver ran through her as he touched her. His hand felt strong and kind of soft. Butterflies were suddenly dancing in her belly, but she took a deep breath and let it out. “That’s fine,” she told him.
“Good,” he said, grinning. “Because otherwise you’re not leaving me with much.”
“Okay,” she said. “What now?”
“Now,” he said, “we eat.” He was still holding her hand.
They went to Burger King and grabbed a few breakfast sandwiches and coffee.
Caelyn was fully prepared to pay for herself, but Elijah stopped her. “No way,” he said.
“I got it. No way I’m letting my girl pay.”
She almost said, But I’m not your girl.
Except she didn’t want to ruin the fun they were having pretending that she was his girl. Of course, she didn’t feel right letting him pay. She decided that she would repay him once they were back in the car and resuming their “real” roles again.
What are our real roles, though? Are we friends? Acquaintances? What?
Again, there was no good answer to be had.
Elijah pulled out an enormous billfold to pay for the meal. He peeled a twenty off the top and handed it to the cashier.
Caelyn’s eyes widened as she stared at the cash in his hand. He glanced at her as he put his money back in his pocket again. “Something wrong, babe?” he grinned.
“No. It’s just—most people usually keep that amount of money in the bank…or a safe,” she said.
“I’m not most people.”
“I’m starting to figure that out.”
They got their breakfast on a tray, which Elijah picked up. “Where do you want to sit?” he asked her.
She gestured to a small table near a window. “How about over there?”
They walked to the table and then sat down together. Caelyn suddenly realized she was ravenous.
She unwrapped a greasy egg and bacon sandwich and started to eat, barely stopping to breathe. She looked up to find Elijah watching her with an amused expression.
“When was the last time you ate?” he asked.
She wiped her mouth with a napkin and swallowed. “I had a few bites of pizza yesterday,” she said. The thought made her lose her appetite, and she put the sandwich down, pushing it away from her as if it were now infected by the memories.
The greasy pizza sitting on the table.
Jayson laughing.
And then, the screaming.
“Hey, hey—are you okay?” Elijah said. Now he was somewhat alarmed.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been caught in the nightmare of what had happened to her. It was almost as though she’d blanked out—but now she was swimming back to awareness again. Her entire body was tense, like a coil of wire.
“I’m all right,” she whispered.
“Come on, let’s take this stuff to go,” he said, grabbing the food and putting it in a paper bag, picking up the two cups of coffee.
Caelyn nodded, stood up and the two of them walked out together.
***
About an hour later, they were driving through New York City, and getting close to the bus station.
Neither of them had talked quite as much after the rest stop. Caelyn was still reeling from the experience she’d had when Elijah had asked her that simple question about when she’d last eaten, which had elicited those awful memories and emotions.
She wondered how long it would be before she’d be able to think back on last night with anything less than pure terror. Maybe it would take her the rest of her life.
Rather than talk, Elijah had put the satellite radio on some kind of radio talk show. The name of the show was Geeks and Gear or something like that. It was a couple of guys talking about computers and other techie stuff. She was surprised that Elijah listened to stuff like that—he seemed more like the kind of guy who would listen to sports radio or angry rap music.
Regardless, she found the voices on the show soothing, and even though she didn’t care what they were talking about, it was sort of nice to just sit and not really focus on anything.
Elijah was content to do the same for a long while. She appreciated that he seemed to understand and respect when she was too overwhelmed to have much interaction.
But finally, he did talk again. “We’re hitting Chinatown,” he said, pointing ahead at the street. The signs on the buildings were mostly in Chinese now, and of course many of the people were also of Chinese descent.
“Is that where the station is?” she asked.
He nodded. “They have the best, cheapest fares around here,” he told her.
“Oh.” She looked out the window and watched as they drove through the city streets. A feeling of loss was starting to creep up on her now. She realized that Elijah and this SUV had become a safe haven for her over the last few hours. Somehow, she’d started to really trust him.
It didn’t make sense.
Nothing made sense anymore.
The minutes passed by a bit too quickly for Caelyn’s tastes. She suddenly wanted to hold onto her time with Elijah, to slow it down, make it last somehow. But before she knew i
t, he was pulling into a small parking lot and stopping, his face grim.
“Here we are,” he said softly.
She looked at him and smiled. “Here we are.”
“We can sit for a few minutes if you want. The bus won’t be leaving for a little bit still.”
“No, I don’t want to keep you,” she said, trying to smile. “You’ve already gone way above and beyond for me, Elijah. I appreciate it.”
“I wanted to,” he said, his eyes locking on hers.
She wanted to say something then. She wanted to say that they should keep in touch, exchange numbers, anything. But she couldn’t seem to find the words. Her throat locked up. “Thanks again,” she managed, and then opened her door and got out, making sure he didn’t see the wetness in her eyes.
Caelyn walked towards the door of the station, bag and purse in hand. She told herself not to look back and was able to stick to her decision.
Once inside, she went to the window and said she wanted a one-way ticket to Orlando, Florida.
The ticket came to just over ninety dollars with tax. It was about a third of her money—gone in one shot.
The teller pointed to a bus sitting out front, parked on the street, and told her that she could board it now.
Caelyn walked to the bus outside and showed her ticket to the driver, who was standing beside the bus. “Go ahead,” he said, not smiling. His eyes were dull, his mustache gray and wilted.
As she went up the steps to get on the bus, she looked quickly over her shoulder at the parking lot and didn’t see Elijah’s SUV. He was gone.
The bus was less than half empty, and Caelyn took a seat near the back, sitting by the window. She stuffed her travel bag under the seat and put her purse on her lap. The seats weren’t exactly roomie and comfortable, but at least she’d be safe for the rest of the trip.
She wanted to think about Florida and be happy. Freedom was just a hop, skip and a jump away now. One very long car ride away, was the place that she’d been dreaming of—somewhere where she could start over. There would be sun and beaches, and new starts.
But right at that very second, it felt like an empty promise.
She was thinking only of Elijah—his dark eyes, his wicked smile, the feel of his hand covering her hand, the way he’d called her babe in that sarcastic manner when she’d given him a hard time about carrying so much cash with him.