An Innocent In Paradise

by Kate Carlisle

  She had tried to bury herself in university life again but she found that world was no longer a good fit. Heck, maybe it never had been, only she hadn’t had a choice. Now, all she could do was remember Alleria and how she’d spent her days working and her nights loving Logan.

  Still, that part of her life was over and so she’d applied for funding and was waiting to hear back. It had warmed her heart to hear that Phillippa and two department heads had written to protest Walter’s funding, threatening legal action. Phillippa promised that as long as she had breath in her body, Walter wouldn’t get away with stealing Grace’s work. Knowing Phillippa, Grace was sure it was only a matter of time before Walter was dragged into court with his tail between his legs. A good thing, because now more than ever, Grace needed her research funding. It was all she had left.

  She forced herself to work. It was the one thing that had been there for her throughout her life. And now that she’d lost Logan, work was especially important.

  But then, she hadn’t really lost Logan, had she? How could she, when he’d never been hers to begin with? And that line of thinking just made her hurt all over again, so she stared into the eyepiece of the electron microscope and lost herself in the world of spores.

  In the background, she heard the door open, followed by several sets of footsteps. It was probably Phillippa and some other lab tech. Whoever it was, she wasn’t interested in talking to them. She just wanted everyone to leave her alone to find her way back to some sense of normalcy.

  Grace continued to stare at the slide in front of her, marveling at the pace of replication the new spores were exhibiting.

  “She’s right over there,” Phillippa said.

  “Yes, I see her,” a man said.

  Chills skittered across Grace’s shoulders at the sound of that voice. She pulled away from the microscope and turned in time to see Phillippa step out of the room and close the door behind her.

  “Logan?”

  “How are you, Grace?”

  “I’m…” What was she? Not fine, certainly. Lonely? Miserable? Unhappy? In love?

  He didn’t seem to need an answer, just walked over and handed her a folded document. “This is for you.”

  She stared at the papers in her hand, then back at him. He looked wonderful, although his eyes and mouth showed signs of strain. It didn’t matter. He was still the most handsome man she’d ever seen. And the only man she’d ever loved. Tears swam in her eyes, blurring her vision. She whipped around so he wouldn’t see her swipe her hand to brush away the tears.

  “What is it?” she asked numbly.

  “It’s a deed to the palmetto grove and that hillside in the rain forest where the wild palms grow. If you’d stuck around a few more days, I could’ve given it to you before you left.”

  Her hand fisted on the papers and she gawked at him. “What? Why? Why would you do this?”

  “Why?” He folded his arms across his chest. “Because now you’ll always know for sure that the spores are safe.”

  “They’re safe?”

  He shook his head in annoyance. “Damn it, Grace, you served me with an injunction against building anything on that land in perpetuity. So yeah, they’re safe. What I don’t understand is why you felt like you had to have sex with me to save the damn spores. You could’ve just asked me.”

  She gasped. “I didn’t have sex with you to save the-”

  “You didn’t trust me, Grace. Don’t you know I would never destroy anything that was so important to you?”

  “I didn’t-”

  “Look, Grace. To be honest, it was never about you or the spores anyway. We moved the site of the sports center two years ago.”

  She frowned at him. “But I saw the plans.”

  “You saw an old set of blueprints that I was just looking at for reference. So next time you’re snooping, check the dates.”

  “You were never going to build near the spores?”

  Logan studied her for a long moment, his face unreadable. “No.”

  She exhaled heavily. “I thought…”

  “You assumed I was such a jerk that I would unceremoniously tear up the rain forest and destroy the entire ecosystem of the island just to build a few tennis courts. That makes me sound like a pretty big jackass, all right. No wonder you took off.”

  “I-I thought…”

  “You thought I was too stupid to understand what it meant to you.”

  “No. I’ve never thought you were stupid.” She groped for the words. “I just thought you didn’t care.”

  “I cared,” he said tightly. “It was you who didn’t care. It was you who didn’t trust.”

  She tried to blink back the tears but it was too late. Her cheeks were wet with them. “Logan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you cared about my research.”

  “I care about you, Grace. You should’ve trusted me.” He came up close and tapped the deed in her hand. “There are your damn spores. You got what you wanted.”

  He turned to leave.

  “I wanted you,” she whispered.

  He turned back around and laughed shortly. “You’re way too smart for that.”

  Then he left.

  The room was silent except for the sound of Grace’s heart shattering. Grabbing a fistful of tissues, she collapsed onto her lab stool and buried her head in her arms.

  She didn’t know if a body could survive this much heartache. And the fact that she’d inflicted so much pain on Logan made her pain even worse. She wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, she felt so awful. Could her crippled heart withstand this much agony?

  A minute later, she felt a hand on her back.

  “Logan?”

  “It’s me, Grace,” Phillippa said. “I eavesdropped through the door. I’m so sorry.”

  “Oh, God, I’m an idiot,” she wailed.

  Phillippa grimaced. “Yeah, I kind of think that might be true.”

  Grace looked up through her tears. “Whose side are you on?”

  “Sorry, honey.” Phillippa patted her back again. “But wow, that guy must really love you to give up that land for you. And to come all this way just to tell you so? How do you feel about him?”

  Sniffling, Grace rubbed her stomach. “I feel sick and dizzy and clueless and stupid. My heart aches and my throat feels like there’s a boulder stuck in there. It’s hard to swallow. Everything hurts and I can barely stand up, I feel so miserable.”

  “Ah,” Phillippa said, nudging her glasses up her nose. “Sounds like you’re in love with him, too. I would say you’re probably going to have to do a lot of groveling to get him back.”

  Back on the island, Logan was making everyone crazy. He would complain to anyone who was willing to listen that he felt used, abandoned and betrayed. And since he was the boss, everyone felt compelled to listen.

  He grumbled to Aidan about how pissed off he was that once again, he’d trusted the wrong woman and he would never risk his heart again.

  He didn’t mention to a living soul that he missed Grace more than he would have ever thought possible. The days were miserable, but the nights without her were torture. He couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Hell, he couldn’t even enjoy a damn walk on his own damn island because he kept seeing her there.

  Aidan popped open two beers and handed one to Logan.

  “Thanks,” Logan muttered, and took a big gulp.

  Aidan sat down in the chair across from him. “Dude, you’ve gotta stop bitching and moaning to the staff. You’re starting to sound like a girl and I think you’re scaring the housekeepers.”

  “Tough,” Logan said.

  Aidan didn’t speak for a time and they both drank their beers in peace and quiet. But it couldn’t last.

  “You know,” Aidan said, “you once told me that part of Grace’s charm was that she didn’t expect anything from you.”

  Logan’s eyes narrowed on his brother. “I never said that.”

  “Yeah, you did,” Aidan said. “But listen, there’s noth
ing charming about having low expectations. It’s heartbreaking, is what it is. Grace obviously learned the hard way to lower her expectations when it comes to a man having feelings for her.”

  “Since when did you become a philosopher?”

  Aidan spoke through clenched teeth. “I’m just trying to help you out here, bro. It’s painful to see you acting like such a jerk.”

  “Look,” Logan said, “I made a mistake falling for Grace and I’m determined to put that mistake behind me. It might take a little time so I would appreciate some damn patience from my twin.”

  “Time isn’t gonna help you, Logan,” Aidan told him solemnly.

  Logan didn’t believe it. He would conquer this. Any day now.

  But he continued to walk around in a fury for the next few days until Aidan and most of the staff were no longer talking to him.

  The phone rang and Logan punched the speaker button. “What is it?”

  “We’ve got a situation in the cocktail lounge,” Aidan said. “Get out here now.”

  Logan shook his head in irritation. Why couldn’t anyone handle anything around here without him? Muttering an expletive, he pushed away from the desk and took off down the hall.

  As he came within a few yards of the doorway into the lounge, the strident sound of breaking glass resounded from inside the bar.

  “What the hell?” Logan groused, and walked into the large, open room. The first and only thing he saw was Grace in an impossibly sexy bikini and see-through sarong. She stood a few feet away, staring down at a pile of broken glass and liquid oozing across the sleek wood floor.

  “Oops,” she said.

  “Hello, Grace,” he said.

  She looked up. “Oh, hello, Logan.”

  “You’re fired.” He turned to leave before he did something stupid like sweep her up against him and kiss her until neither of them could breathe. He’d already learned that sex wasn’t the answer, though he wanted her more than ever. The fact that she was here didn’t mean a damn thing had changed.

  “You can’t fire me.”

  He whirled around. “Oh, yeah? Why not?”

  “Because I love you.”

  Logan glared at her in spite of the fact that his heart took a hard lurch at her words. “Oh, really? I thought you were way too smart to fall for someone like me.”

  She smiled. “As it turns out, I’m a complete idiot.”

  He sighed. “No you’re not, Grace.”

  “It’s true.” She walked up close to him and pressed her hand against his chest.

  He was helpless to move. Damn it, he didn’t want to move. Just her touch was enough to ease away the pain of the past few days. “Grace.”

  “It’s no excuse for the way I behaved,” she said, “but I’ve grown used to men walking away from me in my life. I just assumed you would do it, too.”

  “You didn’t trust me.”

  “I did, Logan. I trusted you with my heart.”

  “But not with your spores.” Logan wondered if this conversation sounded as weird to everyone else in the room as it sounded to him. It didn’t matter. He wanted to get it over with. “Grace, you didn’t trust me enough to do the right thing.”

  “I know and I’ll never forgive myself. I was wrong. I admit it. Can you ever forgive me and let me back into your life?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Aidan shouted in exasperation from across the room. “Just kiss the girl and get on with it.”

  Logan pierced him with a look. “You of all people should understand why trust is so important.”

  “Yeah, yeah, your ex-wife cheated,” Aidan said, shaking his head. “Blah, blah, blah.”

  Logan bared his teeth and Grace gasped, but Aidan ignored it all. “And not only was she a cheat, but thanks to the Switch, we found out she was too self-involved to take the time to learn the differences between you and me.”

  “What’s your point, Aidan?” Logan said.

  “My point is that Grace could see the differences from the first minute she met me. That’s because Grace is in love with you. Even I figured that out. And I think she’s earned your forgiveness. Haven’t you, Grace?”

  Grace flashed Aidan a sweet smile that pissed off Logan even more.

  “Logan,” Grace said, forcing his attention back to her. “It never occurred to me that you would care. Nobody’s ever cared, so I didn’t know what that looked like or felt like. I should’ve, but I didn’t. And that makes me as stupid-”

  “You’re not stupid.”

  “Yes,” she said earnestly. “I’m as stupid as a big bag of dirt.”

  Logan was taken aback. “That’s a little harsh, Grace.”

  “It true, a big bag of dirt, with sphagnum and peat moss thrown in there.”

  “Sounds like potting soil.”

  She clapped her hands. “See how smart you are? No wonder I love you so much.”

  Logan laughed and pulled her into his arms. “So are you, because you came back to me.”

  “Kiss me, please?”

  He kissed her. “I love you, Grace.”

  “Oh, Logan, I love you, too.” She stretched up on her toes and met his mouth in a kiss meant to seal a promise.

  Logan touched her cheek. “But you’re still fired, Grace. I can’t afford the breakage bills.”

  “Fine,” she said, laughing. “But I’m not leaving here, ever again.”

  “What about your laboratory?”

  “I don’t care,” she said. “I’ll…well, to be honest, I don’t know what I’ll do. But I’m not worried.”

  “I’m not worried, either,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Because I’m going to find a nice spot to break ground on a new research lab right here on the island.”

  She gazed up at him. “You’d build a lab for me?”

  Logan saw a sheen of tears in her eyes and his heart overflowed with joy for this very smart woman who’d stolen his heart. “I’d do just about anything for you, Grace. If you hadn’t come back to me, I would’ve gone to get you in another day or two. I can’t live without you, spores and all.”

  Applause broke out in the bar as Logan and Grace sealed their love with another long kiss and a whispered promise to each other that they would always be together.

  KATE CARLISLE

  New York Times bestselling author Kate Carlisle was born and raised by the beach in Southern California. After more than twenty years in television production, Kate turned to writing the types of mysteries and romance novels she always loved to read. She still lives by the beach in Southern California with her husband, and when they’re not taking long walks in the sand or cooking or reading or painting or taking bookbinding classes or trying to learn a new language, they’re traveling the world, visiting family and friends in the strangest places. Kate loves to hear from readers. Visit her website, www.katecarlisle.com.

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