Ever My Merlin (Book 3, My Merlin Series)

by Ardis, Priya

  Doppelganger-Matt stared at the painting. “It looks to me as if they’re waiting at the altar.”

  “In Castle of the Grail, the Fisher King, the King of the Grail, has been wounded by an act of unlawful love and lies under a spell. Although the Grail appears in front of them, they cannot see it. Until Galahad, the most blameless knight arrives. He sees a damsel with a golden Dish, two knights with the candlesticks, a knight holding a bleeding Spear, and the bearer of the Cup. Galahad must ask what these things denote. The first time, he does not, and the Castle continues to suffer for his silence. On his second visit, many years later, he asks the questions and is finally rewarded.”

  I traced the painting in the air. “The golden dish— doesn’t that look like the sun? It’s a golden circle. The bleeding spear is the Fisher King’s trident. The Cup—we already know that’s the apple—”

  “We do?” Doppelganger-Matt said.

  “It’s under a red shroud in the first picture. Red for apple.”

  “And the candlesticks?”

  I squinted at the painting. “Don’t candles mean divine light?”

  Calm sea-eyes fixed on me again. “Divine light or celestial light… a sign of Kronos?”

  I frowned. “What does all this tell us, though? Why these paintings?”

  “The paintings are not the point. It’s the story they are telling. It’s been told over and over again… for a reason.”

  I tilted my head to look up at the straight line of his jaw. “Tell us what?”

  “I had hoped you’d have that figured out for me by now.”

  “I’ve been unconscious for most of the week.”

  “A sorry excuse,” he deadpanned.

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “Do your own work.”

  Before I knew it, I was being yanked to him. My tongue captured by his mouth in a wild kiss. It didn’t last long. A loud harrumph by an elderly man had me pushing him away, despite being nearly blinded by my own hunger.

  “Do you want to eat?” he said.

  “Uh” was all I managed as a reply.

  “The library will be closing in five minutes, please take your selections to the checkout desk,” intoned a voice above us.

  “It’s later than I thought.” He grabbed my wrist and led me out of the gallery. We dodged a few slow-moving strollers on the stairs.

  I went willingly until we reached the mezzanine level. “Wait, where are you taking me?”

  “There’s this dance.”

  I halted. “I don’t have a dress.”

  He tugged me forward. “It’s in the limo.”

  I stared at him. “You hired a limo.”

  “You asked.”

  I bit my lip. This didn’t seem like the smartest idea. Under his fine suit and civilized glamour, an untamed monster lurked.

  I didn’t get a chance to refuse. Doppelganger-Matt hurried me along an open balcony toward stairs to the first floor. I went while still debating the question. I gave myself until we reached the front of the building to make up my mind. In the courtyard, a toddler broke away from his family and hurled himself into an outgoing stream of people. They surrounded him, cutting him off from his family. His face screwed up to let out a wail. I moved to go to the boy, but Doppelganger-Matt beat me to it. If I hadn’t been so aware of him I wouldn’t have noticed the slight movement of his hand. A subtle breeze parted the wave of people, creating a clear path between the boy and his frantically searching parents. The father spotted him first and ran to his son with a happy cry.

  “Stop dawdling,” Doppelganger-Matt told me gruffly and led me out.

  I didn’t say a word when we came out of the building. I also didn’t turn and take off toward the subway. A white limo pulled up to the curb to meet us. Doppelganger-Matt didn’t wait for the driver. Opening the door, he quickly packed me inside.

  Inside the limo, he handed me a wrapped sandwich. “Eat.”

  “I can’t go to prom—” With you, Vane.

  “Don’t worry. You’ll look fine. You have an appointment at a salon in a few minutes.” Taking the sandwich from my hands, he unwrapped it and thrust the bread under my nose. “It’s your favorite.”

  It was. Hummus and cucumber on wheat. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I’d forgotten breakfast. The smell of crisp cucumbers took me back to Sri Lanka for a second. Matt had only fed me under protest. I took a bite of the sandwich. It tasted hot and sweet and freshly made. “How did you know?”

  “It’s not hard to remember a sandwich,” he said dryly.

  I took another big bite. “What are you eating?”

  White teeth flashed briefly. “I ate. Something more substantial than the deer food you like.”

  “You like deer,” I commented. Sharp brown eyes fixed on me, and I realized I’d slipped. I wondered if Matt didn’t like deer. The deer was in Vane’s memories. Mentally, I kicked myself. Keeping up the pretense was hard, but I wasn’t ready to confront him. Not yet. I was enjoying having Vane without the baggage. We both needed the charade to continue.

  I pointed to three giant, white boxes lying on the seat on the opposite side of the limo. “What’s in the boxes?”

  The ploy worked, or he let it. He answered, “Your dresses.”

  “Dresses?”

  “Three of them. I didn’t know which color you’d like.”

  He got me three dresses because he didn’t know which color I’d like. It took me a minute to absorb this. I finished the sandwich in a few quick bites. “Can I see?”

  Skeptical eyes swept over the crumbs scattered across my T-shirt. The limo pulled to a stop. He commanded, “Let’s go. You can look at the dresses inside.”

  The salon was tucked into the bottom of a brown-brick building. Inside, posh marble floors hummed with busy energy as Saturday evening neared. It took forty-five minutes to do hair and makeup. Doppelganger-Matt spent most of his time tapping the screen on his phone.

  “What’s so important?” I asked him.

  “The end of the world,” he quipped back without looking up from the screen. “I’ve been trying to get a few things in place for days and it seems to be all coming together today.”

  “Everything happens at once.” I stared at myself in the mirror as the makeup artist fluffed my eyelashes to twice their size. “Do you have to leave?”

  Part of me wanted him to go. A bigger part of me, the selfish part, ached for one night of normality. I wanted to be with him and told myself one night would be enough.

  He didn’t get a chance to answer. The artist put down her brush and swiveled me around to show me off. “She’s a princess.”

  Doppelganger-Matt’s head jerked up. Stormy brown eyes fixed on me and widened.

  He muttered, “Yes, she is.”

  I resisted an urge to undo my tied-up hair. “I want to see the dresses.”

  He smiled. The makeup artist led us to a large dressing room tucked at the back of the building. Doppelganger-Matt followed me.

  “I’m not going to run out the back door,” I murmured. I might have thought about it.

  “You’ll need help buttoning up,” he replied innocently. “You’re still recovering.”

  “I’ll manage.” I shut the flimsy dressing room door in his face.

  The three boxes were stacked neatly across a bench seat. I opened the first one. A flirty gown of deep green chiffon, the same color as Vane’s vest, lay waiting inside. I tried it on, enjoying the short flowing hem that ended just at the knees. The next box held an equally stunning off-white gown with a corset top and billowing taffeta skirt. I pulled it on, only to yank it off when I heard myself unconsciously humming the wedding march.

  I lifted the lid of the last box and tried not to gasp. Carefully, I slipped the slim gown over my head. A low décolletage trimmed with gold emphasized the lines of a purple high-waist gown. Soft silk-faced satin made up a straight skirt. The hem, also trimmed with gold thread, peeked just above the ankles. I opened the door to the dressing room and
locked eyes with Vane. He sat in a metal chair just outside.

  I smoothed my hand over the front. “It’s gorgeous.”

  “Imperial purple with gold trim.” He tucked his phone into his pocket and walked to me. “Why this one?”

  “It reminded me of you,” I said simply. The real you. The one I’ve been seeing in bits and pieces of old memories. The one who asked me to choose him.

  “Did it?” Desire sparked his eyes, but he didn’t touch me. His hands fisted as if he didn’t dare. It was then I noticed that he’d already changed into a matching purple vest. I frowned. “How did you know?”

  I touched the Dragon’s Eye. Had he been peeking without me knowing it?

  “I had a feeling,” he answered enigmatically.

  I raised a brow. “So you were just testing me with the other colors?”

  “Does it matter? You always pass.”

  I hadn’t in the maze. My throat dry, I said, “This gown doesn’t scream ‘Under the Sea.’” More like Roman empress.

  Instead of replying, Doppelganger-Matt went into the dressing room and returned with a gold mask with a curved fish-scale pattern in one hand. I laughed. “And yours?”

  “I have a matching one and a trident.”

  I know you do. I took the mask and put it on. I looked at myself in another mirror just outside the dressing room. The mask almost completely obscured my face. Doppelganger-Matt stood behind me and, for a moment, we stood together, both lost in a picture that didn’t reflect either one of us. It should have been sobering; instead it only freed.

  From behind his back, Doppelganger-Matt drew out strappy gold sandals and pointed me to a spindly chair. I sat and lifted the hem of the gown. Kneeling down, warm fingers skimmed my skin as he tied the heels to my feet. They fit perfectly, of course.

  I stared down at his bent head. I wanted to say something, but the moment felt too delicate for words. Then, he looked up at me. His hand still wrapped around one foot. The skirt fell away from my hand, and from the stormy depths of his eyes shone all the emotions he couldn’t quite bury, the light of his soul that wouldn’t fade and asked for redemption.

  From that moment on, I was ensnared. Captured by his spell, I found myself being drawn deep into the night. The limo took us past Fenway Park into historic Back Bay. Darkness descended over the city by the time we came to a stop at the Boston Palace Hotel. Tucked to the side of the hotel, the Imperial Ballroom overlooked a bean-shaped pond framed by weeping willow trees. Five hundred or so kids milled inside the majestic domed ballroom. A photographer clicked a picture of us in front of a life-size painting of a pirate ship with billowed sails.

  Blue, green, and yellow strobe lights sparkled off the crystal chandeliers. Two curved staircases led upstairs, where kids over leaned over royal-style balconies on a second story. Floor-to-ceiling windows canvased a midnight-blue sky on one side. On the other side, decorations of sea nymphs and big-eyed mermaids lined the walls. (After all I knew about them, the pictures made me smile.) Circular tables covered with white linen showcased glass centerpieces of pink-and-purple sea anemone.

  Half the kids wore masks. Half didn’t. In my daze, I barely noticed the crowd. I smiled and waved, having no idea who was who. Friend and foe, tonight—on this one night—they all mingled together.

  On a grand stage above us, the very appropriately named band, The Neptunes, thumped out fast-paced music and lyrics that screamed not to stop until the world ended. Vane drew me out into the middle of the dance floor. A laughing Christine and her date danced on the outskirts. I spotted Ramanajan with one of the young wizards who invaded my house. Gia gave Grey a tentative smile as they moved to the beat. Various friends—Regulars, wizards, and gargoyles—made up the odd crowd, but none of them looked out of place. Their happiness surrounded me.

  Then, as if on command, the music slowed.

  And all I saw was him.

  Beneath the twinkle of a lone chandelier, I pictured Vane’s actual face under the mask. I’d worn a mask at the music festival in Glastonbury. We’d kissed for the first time that night in a smoke-filled basement surrounded by blood-spattered walls. Today, he held me in the middle of a glittering ballroom. Yet, I clearly recalled how he’d taken me into his arms that terror-filled night. How safe I felt in them. The hunger in that first tentative kiss and promises it suggested.

  Around us, the song whispered about two souls fated to meet. In the lullaby of the moment, suspended from the present and unmindful of the future, I laid my head against his chest. My cheek pressed into the cool silk of his vest. I listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. And there I understood why prom had become so important to us. Something about the last dance before the final act spelled the end of all things and the beginning of new ones.

  Matt’s words came back to me.

  I stilled in the middle of the dance. The words sounded in my head with desperation. Tell me you haven’t fallen in love with him.

  But I had.

  CHAPTER 15 – OF KINGS AND MEN

  CHAPTER 15

  OF KINGS AND MEN

  Crap. I yanked off the mask and stared at myself in the mirror in the girl’s bathroom. Thanks to black kohl, my eyes looked raccoon wide. Smeared gloss plumped my lips, leaving it a vulnerable pink. My hands shook as I rested them on white marble and took heaving breaths. I left the ballroom for a hidden restroom, closer to the lobby. The rush of music vibrated the old walls of the historic hotel, making it come alive. Too alive.

  I left him in the middle of the dance floor.

  I’d fallen in love with him. There, I admitted it. The one thing I’d been denying for months. I was only seventeen—no, eighteen. I wasn’t supposed to be in love. Real love. The kind that changes you type of love.

  Lust, definitely. Like, it’s what I thought we had.

  But this… not him. Not Vane. He was the wrong one.

  I didn’t want to be broken.

  Matt. I hadn’t believed him when he’d said the words. I hadn’t dared. I hadn’t been ready, and now, I was in the same place. God, it was awful. In the mirror, my reflection grimaced and replied with a silent mocking, ‘You’re screwed.’

  “I love Vane,” I said, hoping it would sound less painful out loud.

  “You what?”

  My head jerked to the opening and wanted to sink into the floor. Matt slipped inside. I cursed the lack of a door. Only a curved wall barred the view from outside. He wore a tux identical to Vane’s, except for the color of his vest and tie. Buttercup yellow matched sober amber-brown eyes. I didn’t need the color change to tell who he was. The lion burned in his eyes, and while I loved him too, I wasn’t in love. He didn’t have the same power over me. I didn’t feel as if every breath I took was for him. He couldn’t break me.

  “Matt,” I started and stopped. I didn’t know what to say.

  He looked ready to explode. “Is it true?”

  I winced at the bite in his tone and mumbled, “Yes.”

  “Have you told him?”

  I’d rather eat nails.

  “Have. You. Told. Him?” he ground out when I didn’t answer.

  “Of course not!” I snapped. With a sigh, I faced him. “Listen, Matt, I’m sorry—”

  “You should tell him.”

  He’s lost his mind. I said, “What?”

  “This was inevitable,” he muttered to himself.

  Inevitable. I stared at him. I didn’t understand. Unless… “You had a vision.”

  It wasn’t possible. Vane had taken his magic, but I knew Matt. His shoulders drooped with the secret, the weight of the world pressing down on him once again.

  Matt muttered, “You won’t understand.”

  Meaning there is something to tell. “How?”

  He confirmed it by closing his eyes. After a long second, he opened them. “I had the vision a long time ago… shortly before Vane returned from Carthage. I had just freed Perceval. But I never thought it would come true. I never thought I could actually
lose my magic.”

  “Losing your powers was the trigger.” All this time, was this the real reason why he got so upset with me? Because I triggered a chain of events. It took me three steps to reach him. I put my hands on his shoulders. “What have you seen about Vane?”

  Matt stiffened. “What makes you think this is about him?”

  I gave him a slanted look. “With you, everything goes back to him.”

  Matt straightened away from me. “Not true—”

  I grabbed his arm. “For once in your life, forget about strategizing. This is about your brother. Just tell me.”

  “It’s not just about Vane. It’s about us all.” Matt’s eyes became unfocused as he stared off to a point somewhere in the past. “It happened after he came from Carthage. The first time I saw him. He’d changed so much. By sight, I didn’t even realize it was Vane when Arthur spotted his small camp.”

  Vane’s memories replayed in my mind. “And?”

  Amber eyes refocused on me. “It’s why I wanted desperately to find the Healing Cup.”

  A cup that doesn’t exist. I pushed. “Why?”

  “I saw myself take my magic back. I didn’t understand that bit of the vision until Chennai.”

  “But that’s not all.”

  He took a strand of my hair and wound it around his finger. A yearning look softened burdened amber eyes. He said quietly, “I saw myself kill my own brother, Ryan.”

  I took a step back. Hair slipped through his fingers. I said emphatically, “You wouldn’t do that.”

  “Wouldn’t I? What if it’s the only way to save everyone?”

  I had no good answer. He was capable of it. Instinctively, I reached for the Dragon’s Eye.

  “Is he here?” Matt asked sharply.

  “I told you I could shut him out.” I think. Knowing I was playing a dangerous game, I let go of the gemstone. “Describe the vision exactly.”

  “We were standing in the middle of a circle. Everything around us was hazy. The skies above seemed to be dotted with fire. They shimmered with all kinds of different colors. Vane lay on the ground. I knelt beside him. His eyes glowed green, but he was sick. I saw the blackness tearing through his insides. He was dying. I had Excalibur. I put my hand on his chest, but instead of healing him, I stabbed him. Magic flowed into me more powerful than I’ve ever felt and I sent it back out. To this.”