Royally Yours

by Everly James

  Tom turned on the radio to an oldies station, and Melody closed her eyes, warm and comfortable in the back of the truck’s cab as the wheels turned rhythmically over the pavement. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep when Ellie shook her awake.

  “We’re here,” Ellie said with a soft smile on her face. “Time to be bombarded by my family.”

  Melody grinned. “I think I can handle them.”

  “You don’t know my cousins.”

  They all piled out of the truck and onto the gravel paved driveway. Ellie’s childhood home was a petite, white farmhouse with peeling paint. They had an incredible view of acres and acres of gently rolling farmland, with a patch of forest to the right. The house had a wraparound porch that looked like the interior of the Block: Wellington boots were piled up everywhere. There was a porch swing that hung on rusty interlocking chains.

  As they stepped onto the patio, the door flung open and two men came barreling out.

  “Ellie Bellie!” the tall one said, sweeping Ellie off her feet. He had flaming red hair like Ellie’s but was built like a pile of bricks, sturdy and strong. “How’s my little cousin?”

  “Hi, Randy,” Ellie said sheepishly. She was brick red. “Ryan.” She hugged the skinny man with red hair like hers. “They’re twins, too. Fraternal, obviously. Just like me and Eric.”

  Melody was beaming. “I’m Melody.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Randy said. “You must be the girlfriend.”

  Ellie buried her face in her hands. “She’s my roommate.”

  “Really? Eric said she was your girlfriend.”

  “Well, now I know who to kill first this holiday season,” Ellie said, trying to play it off.

  “Is this H-man?” Randy turned to Herschel, who was looking mortified.

  “I am Herschel, yes,” he said, his nose upturned.

  Randy held out his hand and pulled Herschel in for a bear hug, patting his back so hard Ellie was afraid Herschel’s head was going to pop off. Herschel looked terrified.

  “My apologies to you both for my ridiculous family,” Ellie said with a smile.

  But Melody couldn’t stop smiling. This was the big family she had always dreamed of as an only child isolated in a castle away from the public.

  She felt like she was home.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  The inside of Ellie’s house was even better than the exterior. It smelled of warm cinnamon and baked apples. There were squashy couches, piles of homemade blankets, and a roaring fire.

  A woman who Melody assumed was Ellie’s mother came bustling out of the kitchen. She had red hair like Ellie, though it was a deeper auburn than her daughter’s. They had the same curvy build, but her hands were wider and showed signs of a lifetime of manual labor. This was a tough woman. Melody liked her instantly.

  “Sorry for the mess. You must be Melody. I’m Lily.”

  “Oh, like Harry’s mother!” Melody said before she could stop herself. She blushed. “Sorry. Ellie has me reading the books for the first time.”

  Lily grinned. “Your first time, hm? That’s incredible. Please, please. Come sit down. I have pie for you all, fresh out of the oven.”

  “Pie!” Randy and Ryan yelled at the same time, rushing into the kitchen.

  Ellie groaned. “I told you they were unbearable.” Ellie took off her coat and helped Melody out of hers before they made their way to the dining table, which was covered in pies of all shapes, sizes, and flavors.

  “I thought you meant you made a pie, not all the pies!” Melody said appreciatively.

  “She’s not the one who cooked them all. I did most of them,” a gruff voice said from behind her.

  Melody turned around. Standing there was a wizened old woman with pale, wrinkly skin. She was held upright by a walker, and was wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and a t-shirt.

  “Melody. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Blanche, Ellie’s grandmother.”

  “Oh, you’re the Harry Potter reader!”

  Blanche smiled, her thin lips twisting upwards. “That would be me indeed. Nice to meet you.” She turned to face Herschel. “You’re too tall.”

  Herschel opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. He closed it and opened it once more. “Pleasure.”

  “Hm,” Blanche replied. “Eat the damn pies before your idiot cousins finish off the whole tabletop.”

  Randy and Ryan had already taken a slice from each pie and were digging in greedily as if they’d never had a meal in their lives.

  “You told your grandmother about me?” Melody whispered as she sat next to Ellie.

  “She’s my pen pal,” Ellie replied. “I didn’t say that much.”

  “Nonsense,” Blanche said. Melody looked at her, surprised. “Yes, I can hear you. The whole damn family thinks I can’t hear anything but that’s a damn lie. I can hear it all. Ellie talked about you in six straight letters. The last time that happened, she was at summer camp telling me about her crush on Christina Aguilera.”

  Ellie was so fiery red in her face she looked like she might start smoking at the ears. “Grandma, I think Melody’s heard enough.”

  Melody looked pleased as she dug into the pies at the table.

  “Where’s Eric?” Ellie asked.

  “He’s at the store,” Tom said. “I hurt my back again and had to take the week off.”

  Ellie felt sorry for her brother. Certainly, he’d much rather be at home than stuck at the store by himself. “We might go over later. Take him dinner.”

  “He’d like that,” Lily said, sitting down and sliding a key lime pie over to her. “He’s missed you. He wanted to pick you up from the train station.”

  Melody bit into a slice of a tart cherry pie with caramelized sugar covering the top. It crunched pleasantly as it filled her mouth. “Wow. This is incredible.”

  Herschel was eating so fast it was like he thought someone might be coming to take his plate away soon. But they weren’t, obviously. “Absolutely divine.” He wiped the corners of his mouth neatly with a napkin.

  “You two sure are proper,” Randy said through a mouth full of pie crust. Some of it fell out of his mouth and onto the table.

  Herschel turned his nose up, clearly disgusted.

  “I’m certain that Herschel, Melody, and Ellie would like to get unpacked and get some rest. Herschel, I’m afraid you’re in the boys’ room,” Lily said.

  “We’ll be sleeping together! But I already called the top bunk,” Randy said, punching Herschel in the arm good-naturedly.

  Herschel grabbed his arm and winced. “You should know I don’t put out on the first date. I’m a gentleman.”

  Randy blushed. “That’s—that’s not what I meant.”

  The whole table laughed, and Herschel even smiled.

  Melody followed Ellie down the narrow hallway. It was carpeted with plush turquoise flooring that was worn in places from people treading on it. The walls were lined in picture frames filled with family photos.

  “Oh my God,” Melody said, dropping her suitcase and staring at one frame in particular. “You’re adorable.”

  Ellie groaned and didn’t even turn around. “Let me guess? The mixing bowl photo?”

  “How’d you know?”

  “Because the whole town even knows. My parents used it for my high school graduation photo in the slide show.”

  Melody leaned closer in the low light. Baby Ellie, covered in fat rolls and wearing a chef’s hat, her red hair poking out, sat in a metal mixing bowl like she was about to be cooked up and served. Her pudgy, dimpled hands gripped the edges and she grinned a toothless, gummy smile.

  “My ovaries are aching looking at this picture, Ellie. You were adorable.” Melody turned to smile at Ellie, who still looked mortified. “You still are.”

  Ellie bit her lip and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Let’s get you settled. My room’s the smallest, so sorry about that.”

  “I feel like I’m at the Burrow,” Melody said, referenc
ing the Weasley house in Harry Potter. “I love it.”

  Ellie looked pleased but there was a hint of shame on her face.

  Melody clapped a hand on her forehead. “I didn’t mean that your house looked poor and rundown. It’s homey. It has love in it. I can feel it.”

  “Thank you,” Ellie said genuinely. Any trace of shame had left her face. She pulled her duffel bag along the carpeted hallway and stopped at the final door. “After you.”

  Melody stepped inside the square room. There was a twin bed in the corner and a second twin inflatable mattress on the floor. Plaid flannel sheets covered it, along with a homemade quilt made up of floral fabrics. Bookshelves lined the walls, and waxy green plants were sitting everywhere, even hanging from the ceiling. There was a small window with a window seat inset. It was covered in fluffy pillows that were indented, no doubt, from where Ellie had sat for many hours reading the books in this room.

  “So, it’s a little tiny, but it’s mine.”

  Melody smiled at her. “I love it. It’s perfect.” She paused. “But I get the real bed, right?”

  Ellie laughed. “Of course you do.”

  Melody shook her head. “I was only joking.”

  “Guests get the best beds. Except for Herschel. But that’s only because Randy and Ryan beat him to it.”

  “It’ll be good for Herschel. He needs some humility in his life.”

  Ellie finished unpacking and pointed to a bottom drawer. “This one’s empty. Feel free to use it. We can store our bags up in the attic for now. This house is filled tops to tails with people.”

  Melody tilted her head to the side. “So, this is a big step. I wasn’t ready for it.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “Getting a whole drawer at your place. Next thing you know, you’ll be giving me a key to it as well.”

  Ellie paused for a moment, blush rising in her face. Then she picked up a pillow and threw it at Melody. “You goofball. Go ahead and unpack. I’m going to go see what food I can scare up for the three of us.”

  “Three of us? Is Herschel going with us somewhere?”

  “You, me, and Eric,” Ellie said. “We’re totally taking him dinner. Be sure to bundle up a bit more. It’s going to be even colder when the sun goes down.”

  Ellie left Melody alone to unpack. She pulled out Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and began reading. She’d been itching to get to it all day; Ellie had kept talking to her on the train.

  She figured a few quick pages wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not at all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “So, this is it?”

  “This is it. Grand River, New York.”

  “Where’s the river?”

  “There is none,” Ellie replied, turning the steering wheel. Snow was beginning to fall in little spitting gasps of weather. The sun was setting even though they couldn’t see it behind the clouds. It was getting darker with each passing minute. The truck smelled like roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and roasted broccoli with garlic butter. Melody’s stomach rumbled noisily. Even though she’d eaten a slice of pie, she’d skipped lunch and only had a light breakfast. She had been nervous to meet all these new people.

  “Why is it called Grand River if there is no river?”

  “The founders named it that to get tourists up here to see the—”

  “Grand river. Got it,” Melody said. “What did the tourists do once they got here?”

  “Got drunk and shot their pistols at targets down Main Street. You can still see the bullet holes in the masonry next to the general store.”

  Melody laughed. “That story is ridiculous.”

  “Welcome to Grand River.” Ellie pulled into a parking lot in front of a store named Mayhew and Sons Hardware.

  “Sons? Plural?” Melody inquired.

  “My dad had brothers. They’re all dead now. Dad’s the only one to have had any children. He was hoping to have more than one son to pass it along to.” Ellie shrugged. “He got me instead.”

  They gathered up the picnic basket that was heavy with food and walked into the quaint store. Rusty bells clanked loudly as the door opened. The place smelled like mothballs, rust, and wood shavings. There was something unbearably homey about it to Melody. It had a history in its walls and she wondered what it was.

  “Welcome to Mayhew Hardware!” a masculine voice called out.

  “Hey, asshole,” Ellie said. “We brought you food.”

  “Ellie-jellie!” Eric said, walking around the corner. He had sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked nothing like Ellie except for his smile. It was lopsided the way hers was, and the joy in his eyes as he saw his sister made Melody’s heart soar. Ellie and Eric hugged.

  Eric pulled away from her and held out his hand to Melody. “You must be Ellie’s lady love.”

  Melody bit her lip and grinned. “Her roommate, actually.”

  “Mmhmm,” Eric replied. “Alright.”

  Ellie slapped his arm. “Don’t be a dick.”

  “I am not being a dick. I’m being…playful.”

  Ellie groaned. “Let’s go to the back where there’s a table. I don’t want to stand at the front counter and eat.”

  They made their way through the store to the breakroom, whose walls were lined with dented metal lockers. The cork board on the wall was filled with so many sheets of paper, Melody was surprised it didn’t come tumbling off the wall.

  Ellie prepared their feast and they dug in. Not much was said as they ate the delicious meal.

  “So, Melody. Where is it you’re from again?”

  “Tiny country no one’s ever heard of,” Melody said.

  Eric swallowed a mouthful of mashed potatoes and smiled. “Try me. I won the geography bee in middle school three years running.”

  Melody panicked. But she couldn’t lie, not to him. “Madrana.”

  Eric screwed up his eyes. “Near France and Switzerland, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Mountainous, population of about fifty thousand?”

  “Right again.” Melody nervously piled her fork with everything on her plate and shoved it into her mouth as if chewing for a long time would somehow get Eric off this line of questioning.

  “Do they have a republic there or is it a constitutional monarchy? I can’t remember.”

  Melody compensated by chewing so long, Ellie cut in.

  “Can we not play twenty questions and stop interrogating our guest, Eric? We’ve been traveling all day. The last thing Melody wants to do is sit here and be grilled by you.”

  The bells chimed and Eric stood up. “Be right back.”

  Melody heard him say “Welcome to Mayhew Hardware” and went back to her food.

  “Sorry about my brother,” Ellie said. “And again, my whole family. Including my grandmother, who will likely say something sarcastic to you that will hurt your feelings. I’m getting in my apologies in advance.”

  “Seriously, you don’t know my mother. I feel like I should be apologizing to you for her and we don’t even have plans yet for you to meet her.”

  The ‘yet’ hung in the air and shimmered with tension between them.

  Ellie smiled. “Thanks for taking my family so well.”

  “And thank you for inviting me. This is much better than being stuck in a hotel with Herschel.” Melody clapped a hand to her forehead. “Herschel! Oh no. I didn’t even check in on him before we left.”

  “He’s fine,” Ellie replied, waving a hand in the air. “The guys were going out to the field to light some of the barn wood on fire. And probably blow something up, no doubt.”

  Melody had a hard time picturing Herschel having fun in that scenario, but dropped it as Eric walked back into the room.

  “Someone wants to buy nails ten minutes before a blizzard blows through here,” Eric muttered, shaking his head and tucking back into his dinner. “I was going to close early, but I can’t afford to miss any sales.” He turned back to Melody. “So, how’s the cult going?�
��

  “Excuse me?”

  “The cult. In the city. Have you been married off to the leader yet?”

  “Eric!” Ellie said, smacking him on his arm once again.

  Melody laughed uproariously. “You know, I had my misgivings at first, too. I don’t blame you one bit for thinking it’s a cult. But no, we haven’t been made to be brides if that’s what you’re wondering. No sex between me and Jason. Yet.”

  Even Ellie laughed. “It’s a ton of fun and pretty cool what we’re doing.”

  “It’s all sustainable, right? You have a closed loop system?”

  “Closed loop?” Melody asked.

  Eric furrowed his brow. “It’s where no input comes into the farming system. It’s all self-sustaining: seeds, compost, etc. Nothing gets put in that you don’t already have, and nothing is left to waste.”

  “Not exactly. But we’re working on it.”

  “Any composting toilets?”

  “No.”

  “Vermiculture?”

  “What’s—”

  Eric interrupted Melody. “Worm composting. You feed the worms your table scraps and they chew it up and poop out the most valuable topsoil component on planet earth.”

  “Nope,” Ellie said.

  “Are you at least eating entirely from the gardens?”

  Ellie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “It’s not there yet. But we’re working on it.”

  Eric put down his fork. “Let me get this straight. You paid—what was it? Five grand to be there for one semester, you work like dogs, and the place doesn’t even keep salad on the table? Ellie-jelly, we do more at Mom and Dad’s house than you all are doing in the city.”

  Melody gaped at him. “I never thought of it like that.”

  “Why’d you sign up for it?” Eric asked. “Ellie did it, I think, as an excuse to still live on a farm but be in a big city. Best of both worlds. Oh, and to delay the inevitability of the real world. No offense.”

  “None taken,” Ellie said wryly. She didn’t look offended. “Much better than sticking behind a hardware counter because you’re afraid of failure.”