Finding Kylie

by Kimberly McKay

  Chastity’s heart swelled when she thought about his cute little face. “I can’t believe I have some family out there. I feel so … normal is the only way I can think to describe it.”

  Cheryl sagged with relief. “Good sweetie. I am so happy for you. You have no idea how much. I was so afraid you were in for some major disappointment. I just knew you were going to come home broken, and I couldn’t stand it if that had happened.” Cheryl started to tear up. “I was so worried.”

  “Okay, stop that. I have to get ready for a date and you can’t tear up on me. You’ll make my mascara run.” She reached for a tissue. “Take this.”

  “I’m a mess.” Cheryl laughed, and then changed the subject. “Hey, how is it going with Timothy? I got a phone call from his mom, and she was telling me that her son came in for a mysterious trip. She’s bound to find out why he’s really here.”

  Chastity’s brow went up. Cheryl waved her hand and continued, “No, she didn’t hear anything from me. I never hear from the woman until she wants to brag about something, so I’m not telling her. I can’t wait for her find out the real reason he’s in town is staying at my house.” Cheryl laughed out loud. “How foolish will she feel then?”

  “You’re evil!” Chastity laughed when she saw the sparkle in her friend’s eye.

  “I know, but it’s fun sometimes. Real quick before you go, have you read anymore of your mom’s journals?”

  “Yeah, I have. At this point it is strictly letters to me from mother to daughter. It’s sweet actually. They mostly catalogue my daily activity. It’s almost like a baby book. It’s nice to have these weekly accounts of what she’s experiencing. My first crawl … my first word … and so on,” she explained. “But there’s not many more pages left, so I’ve been taking my time. I’m not ready to be finished yet.”

  “Yeah, I remember her saying when you were young that she was going to try to write something to you every week.” Cheryl sighed and stood up to brush the back of Chastity’s hair. “But babies are so busy and the older they get – the harder it is to find the time write everything all down. Especially if you have job, like she did.”

  “Well, it’s been good for me to see this other side of her. I’m not ready to let go yet. I’m going to miss it … her so much.”

  “I know honey, but what a precious gift you have with those letters.”

  Chastity nodded as the doorbell rang from the hallway. She heard Whitney call her name from downstairs, and stood to give herself a final once-over.

  Cheryl smiled from behind and said, “You look like a knock-out. Have a good time and come home late!”

  Chastity winked on her way out the door.

  Chapter 40

  Timothy admired her long legs, as she sat next to him on the tailgate bench. He found it hard to take his eyes off them, especially as she was swinging them back and forth next to his.

  Only twenty more minutes till we eat, he thought, trying to keep his mind off of what kind of trouble they could get into if this were a real truck bed they were sitting in.

  Twenty more minutes … Twenty more minutes ... The mantra was useful in trying to clear his mind.

  “You think this used to be a real truck?” She looked down to the FORD tailgate, which was repurposed as a seat. It sat at the same height that a pickup would be, which is why she couldn’t reach the ground.

  “Yep.” He dragged his eyes from her legs, grateful for something to talk about. “Bet you’ve never seen one of these before?”

  “Only in Oklahoma, and I say that with utmost respect.” Her eyes twinkled.

  “So you’re a fan then?” He asked, scooting a little closer.

  “I wasn’t sure what to think about it when I flew in a couple of weeks ago, but it’s really nice.”

  “You say that like you’re surprised.” He laughed at her.

  She looked around the restaurant and surprised herself with her response.

  “This city is a complete surprise. Before coming here, all I knew of Oklahoma is what I learned on the news.”

  She looked at his grin and explained; “You know the typical toothless wonder, marveling at why the tornado blew away their mobile house. I just assumed there wasn’t much else to see.”

  “And now?”

  “Well now, I’ve seen the closeness of this place. The heart of these people is bigger than I’ve ever seen, and the cost of living really blows me away. I could buy a four bedroom house here for what I pay rent for my tiny apartment back home. Not to mention the art community here … it’s amazing. And, the downtown area is awesome … zip-lines, rock climbing, water taxis, kayaking …” Chastity stopped when she realized how fast she was talking. “I’m babbling. I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head and added, “Although, most of the people here can’t drive to save their lives!”

  She laughed, as she thought of how most would handle California traffic.

  “Yeah, I would agree there too.”

  “So why didn’t you move back here?”

  “Oh, I love it here, but you haven’t met my mom yet!”

  On that note, Chastity was thankful that their buzzer started vibrating.

  “Our table’s ready!” She jumped up and was glad to leave that conversation where it was. The hostess led them to their table.

  The restaurant was pure country. Large four tops, which were big enough for giants, were scattered throughout. Anyone ready to dig in for home cooking’ would have plenty of elbowroom.

  A looming stage, set to the side, was already set for a live band, and was draped with the largest American flag she’d ever seen. Her heart warmed at the sight of posters, which promoted America and the military, which hung on the walls around them. Pure American pride was infused in everything they displayed.

  When they sat down, she looked up to a glass balcony, where there was a separate dining area.

  “Who sits up there?” She pointed up the stairs.

  “That’s where the owner eat, with his friends and family. It gives him the privacy he needs away from his fans. When he’s not here, it’s open to the public.”

  “I’ve never listened to country much, but he seems decent.” She nodded her head, listening to the music, which blared from the sound system throughout the restaurant.

  High above her, she saw a horse’s saddle, covered in rhinestones, hanging from a heavy cable. Light bounced in all directions, as it spun from above.

  She smiled in thought. A disco saddle … it reflects this place well. It’s country, but with style.

  Timothy watched her take in her surroundings and wondered how he got so lucky. She was stunning, and he couldn’t believe she was here with him.

  “I like it here. This is perfect.” She smiled at him from across the table.

  He said nothing in return. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. She had no idea of the effect she had on him. Does she even know how beautiful she is?

  Chastity broke eye contact to look toward the patio. Her heart raced as his dark stare was still trained on her.

  “Look at the view of the riverwalk.” Her eyes lit up.

  “Mm, hmm. We can take a spin out there later - if you want to.”

  Chastity wanted a lot of things, and the only way to get past this awkward stage was to tackle her emotions head on.

  No more pretending.

  She returned his gaze, wondering who would look away first. She could see the desire mounting is his eyes with every second that passed.

  Timothy was about to tell her how beautiful she was, when the waitress arrived, with glasses in hand. They were still locked in a heated stare, but withdrew long enough to order.

  Chastity hoped she got to him, because she wanted to be under his skin, as much as he was hers. She also wanted to send a silent promise that left no room for interpretation.

  After that, both were feeling the effects of one another’s company and couldn’t wait to get closer than sitting across the table. They finished their food
as fast as possible.

  “How about a walk outside?” He asked, while paying for dinner. She nodded in return, not trusting herself to say anything at the moment.

  Like the gentlemen he was, he helped her from her chair. Letting go of formalities, he temporarily put an arm around her waist, as she sank into his side on the way out.

  It was an easy transition to fall into step with Timothy. Once outside, she slipped her hand into his to find their rhythm. As they strolled across the bridge, she couldn’t get over how fast this was happening.

  He’s easy to be around, to look at, and to imagine spending long term with. She shook her at the last thought. Take it easy - Chaz. Don’t start taking this somewhere that’s not in the plan. Let it come and be okay with today.

  Her whole life was about packing up and moving on. It was hard to think past the here and now, but with Timothy that’s all she wanted to do was to think of the future that might be there.

  “A penny for your thoughts. Is what happened at the park still upsetting you?” He didn’t want to bring anything unpleasant up on their date, but he didn’t want to avoid what was bothering her either.

  “No, that worked out. I actually was thinking …” She paused long enough to send him a dazzling smile. “How easy it was being with you, here…tonight.” She stuck to her guns and kept it in the present.

  Her words were intoxicating. He couldn’t get over how one simple sentence made him feel under the influence of her charms.

  “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. You’re one in a million Ms. Chastity Wayne, and I mean that with no pun intended.”

  She laughed at his joke. “So you don’t want me for my money?”

  “No, I want you because you’re you.” His voice was soft and slow, and it made her dizzy. She couldn’t retort if she tried, so she did the next best thing.

  Chastity pulled him close to run her fingers through his thick black hair. She lifted to her tiptoes, and kissed him with enough intensity to show him that she wanted him just as much.

  Timothy moaned and slowly pulled back. “You’re going to have to hold me back if you don’t stop that.”

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” she teased, looking up through her eyelashes to taunt him further.

  Timothy rested his hands on her hips and leaned in again. He brushed his lips across hers before dipping down for deeper kiss, which was slow and smooth. As his tongue gently played with hers, it was the perfect balance of passion and control. It was aggressive without taking over, and it left Chastity with unexpected emotions.

  His kiss transitioned her from secretly wanting him, to openly needing him. She never knew what it meant to be connected to someone. She’d heard about it, but never truly understood until now.

  Unexpected sounds of giggles interrupted them from across the fountain. When Timothy and Chastity finally pulled apart, they noticed a small group of teenage girls, who were curiously staring at them. Chastity was tempted to laugh along with them. She certainly felt like a teenage girl at the moment.

  “They probably think we’re too old for this sort of behavior,” she teased.

  “C’mon Ms. Wayne. Let’s go,” he took her hand to walk back to his car, where an audience wouldn’t be welcome.

  Chapter 41

  Before packing the last of her belongings, Chastity picked up her phone to text Anne her flight information. As she dropped her phone back onto the side table, she sat down on the bed to contemplate her time in Oklahoma. Although she’d been there only a month, it seemed like a lifetime, as she uncovered a part of her she never thought possible.

  Her biggest achievement was that she could now close the door on the emptiness in her heart, and fill the void with family she’d always wondered about. In the last two weeks, she spent quite a bit of time with Jesse and his family. She even brought her sketchpad their home, to start a new project. She wasn’t finished yet, but planned to mail it to Alex when she was.

  Timothy left after his weekend home, but kept in contact via phone every day or night depending on their schedules. They made plans to see each other as soon as she came back to California. She was slowly sinking into a routine with him that she didn’t want to give up.

  Jesse and Lauri had invited her to come stay with them next time she was in town, but Chastity wasn’t sure when she’d be back, she didn’t want to put off her someday trip any longer than necessary. It was one of two life long dreams she needed to fulfill. She’d marked one of her list, and now it was time for Venice.

  Well, I didn’t find my dad. It turns out that I don’t want to, but I got the next best thing, Chastity smiled.

  Now, she could leave in peace, as Jesse and his family had given her exactly what she needed. They made her feel like a part of their family, which took her one step closer to being complete. Finally, she could breathe without pain in the center of her being.

  I have family. You were enough mom, but I’m glad I’m not alone. It helps somehow to know that I can reach out and the three of them are there. I hope you understand.

  Chastity’s thoughts were interrupted when her phone beeped with text from Anne, which read: ‘call me when you arrive. I’ll be there! Can’t wait to see you.’

  She smiled in anticipation, and stood to finish packing. She missed her best friend, and couldn’t wait to get home and return to her routine.

  It won’t be for long though.

  She set both suitcases by the bedroom door, and did a last minute checklist. All that was left was her carry-on and her mom’s journals. She’d been reading one at a time, little by little.

  The last of the journal held letters to Chastity from Kylie. Her mom was cataloging her weekly growth and monthly progress. Last night she read another entry that deeply touched her heart.

  Dear little one,

  You’re growing up so fast. You’re such a little helper. You’re 18 months old now, and are 23 pounds. Good for you!

  I used to have to wait until bedtime to write to you, but you’re next to me at the moment with a crayon, drawing on scrap paper. You like red best right now. It was the first color you reacted to as a baby.

  I’m glad that right now you’re content to scribble as long as we’re next to one another. You like to draw so much.

  You’re also quit the speaker … talk about a vocabulary! It only has to be said once and you’ll mimic it. Your favorites right now are: hole, purse (pur), cracker, and I love you. The words aren’t perfect, but I know what you’re saying.

  Oh, sweetheart! You’re holding my arm with one hand while you’re drawing with the other. Pat-pat-pat on my arm and back. You have no idea how wonderful that feels to me.

  You’re so affectionate and I love you so much. I never knew I’d feel this way. I didn’t know if I had it in me to feel this for you.

  Now, if I could only get you to sleep through the night, and stop throwing everything away in the trash. I hope I will have time to write to you next week. You’re starting to keep me so busy. Seems like lately all you want to do is play.

  Oops! Up you just went and I have to go get you to make sure you don’t get into any trouble.

  Much love to you,

  Mommy

  Chastity finished the journal entry, with bittersweet resolve. With only a few pages left, she wasn’t ready for it to be done yet. She packed the journal in her carry-on, and zipped it closed.

  When I finish reading, how will I feel close to her?

  “Hey, I’ve got these.” Dave popped in the room and reached for her bags. “After all the shopping you’ve been doing, I’m surprised you didn’t have to buy another suitcase.”

  Chastity sheepishly smiled. “I mailed some back to Anne to store for me until I return.”

  “Ahh! I knew you weren’t that good at packing. I wondered where it all went. You ready?”

  “Yeah, I think so. Is Whit coming with you guys to drop me off?”

  “No, she had youth group, at church, tonight, but she said she loves yo
u and she’ll see you soon. I think she wants to come visit you out there.”

  “She’s welcome! You all are Uncle Dave.” She hugged him, and then grabbed her purse. “I’m going to miss you guys. Thank you for letting me stay. I know I’ve been here a while.”

  “Forget about it,” Dave said in his best Italian mafia voice. “Besides it’s been good for Cheryl. She needed this visit almost as much as you did. Come on kiddo.” He nudged her out the door.

  Cheryl was already waiting by the car, when they got there. “You ready to go home?” She wrapped an arm around Chastity’s waist.

  They leaned against the car, as Dave loaded Chastity’s luggage in the trunk.

  “I think so. I’ve done everything I’ve come for.” Her face softened with appreciation.

  “What about seeing your grandfather?” Cheryl raised her eyebrow.

  “No, I’m not interested at this point. Jesse asked me if I’d go with him before I left, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I can’t even make myself say my grandfather. Anyways, Jackson is so much a part of what happened to my mom … I’m still too angry.” She took a deep breath before finishing. “I’ve overcome most of it but I’m not ready to meet someone who did so much to hurt us.”

  Cheryl was secretly glad to hear it. Even though forgiveness was healing, meeting Jackson wasn’t something she thought would help the healing process at this point in her life. Jesse was one thing, but Jackson was another.

  Cheryl didn’t think it would be good to open herself up for more hurt. If John found out his daughter had visited the nursing home, he’d be on the next plane to find her. She knew Chastity wasn’t read for that.

  After she said her goodbyes at the airport and made her way to her gate, she dialed Timothy for a quick pre-boarding call. She couldn’t believe how much she missed him. She was set to arrive in California at 4 p.m. and he was flying in the next day. Neither one could wait.

  To her, it felt like love even though she’d never experienced it before. Her mom certainly never fell in love, but always told her she’d know it when she saw it.