9 Ways to Fall in Love

by Caroline Clemmons

“He saw them having lunch. He said they were holding hands.”

  “What? That’s not possible. She loves Harrison. She would never cheat! I’m calling him right now.”

  “Stay out of it, Alexandra. Let him do his job in London. He’ll come back and work things out his own way. Swear you’ll stay out of it?”

  “Grrr. Men. Fine, but I don’t agree.”

  “I know that look, that stubborn ‘get my way’ look, angel. You’ll make it worse, trust me.”

  “Okay, fine, I’ll let them work it out.” But that didn’t mean I couldn’t secretly help them. I just needed time to think about it for a while.

  We had a great New Year’s Eve dinner and dancing at Sambucas, our favorite place. It’s where we fell in love. They have the best signature drinks. My favorite, the Sk*nny B*tch Pink Lemonade, had a sneak attack built in. I could drink a hundred of them! Well, maybe only ninety-nine, but a few were very, very good!

  The dance floor called out to us with our favorite artist, Creya, back to entertain the crowd. It had been months since we’d seen her. We enjoyed listening to her and dancing to some old favorites. When she did her cover of “Someone Like You” by Van Morrison, I looked at Grayson with dreamy eyes; it was the song we danced to after he proposed. Ah, love was in the air. A perfect way to bring in the New Year and so romantic.

  I think our great night of sex started that moment on the dance floor. I was grateful I chose a short skirt, it definitely kept his attention.

  “Do you have anything on under that skirt?”

  “Take me home and find out.”

  That was it. He pulled me out of the restaurant so fast, we didn’t even say bye to Creya. We barely got inside our apartment door before we started shedding clothes. He had my top and bra off within seconds; next his shirt hit the floor. I managed to get his belt and jeans unfastened, but he was wrestling with my skirt. Finally, my skirt and panties were off, leaving me in black stilettos. Freeing his erection, he picked me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist while he plunged into me in one swift move.

  With my back against the wall, he made love to me forcefully, pulling almost out before shoving back inside me. With his teeth, he nibbled my earlobe and I could feel his hot breath panting on my neck. I knew the heels of my shoes had to be digging into his ass, but he obviously didn’t care. His stiff shaft was throbbing inside me as he began to moan my name. “Touch yourself. I want to see you pinch your nipples. Do it for me.” His tone was almost aggressive and short, but I responded to his command. As I did, an orgasm rocked my body, clinching his hot member inside me. He never slowed his pace, continued to rock in and out of me until I could feel his warm release spill into me. When he stilled, I tried to catch my breath. His heavy breath vibrated off my collarbone.

  We didn’t move or talk for the longest moment. Finally, I needed to put my legs down and slowly unlocked my ankles so that I could move. “No, don’t move,” Grayson said. “Just keep your arms around my neck.” He walked us over to the bar and sat me down on the counter, still inside me and still half dressed. He continued to hold on to me. ”I’ve missed you like this.”

  “What do you mean? I’ve been right here. What have you been missing?”

  “Hmm, hot sex like that and those black shoes!” he said with a cute, sheepish grin.

  “Oh, you have, have you now? I’ll have to remember that from now on. And here I thought it was my underwear that turned you hot and bothered?”

  We were sated with each other like that for a little bit longer, then we continued in the bed, but not before I played dress up for him with some new red and black pieces that I had picked up, plus the black shoes!

  Chapter 17

  Millie had been responding favorably to treatment for the last two months, but was no longer able to come into the office. Grayson was looking for a full time replacement, but between traveling to PMC speaking events and his regular schedule, he didn’t have the time to interview. I felt it would be better if Zoe picked out someone that she wanted to work since this really wasn’t my office. There was just one slight hiccup: Zoe was pregnant and due in late summer, since she got pregnant in Bora Bora. Well, at least I could be glad that someone did. I was happy for her, really. I just felt the twinge of it not happening for us. Grayson seemed more disappointed each time my period came around.

  For the next several days, he’d been full of tension, even more than he’d been before. I just wasn’t used to seeing him that way. He’d been spending so much time at the hospital that we barely saw each other, let alone have any intimate time.

  Zoe and I scheduled a day of interviews while he was out of the office for a short conference. We met with several ladies and found the perfect candidate. Sarah was a widow and a grandmother had worked for several physicians over the years. She had a great resume and her references checked out. She stopped working while she babysat for her first grandchild, but after they relocated away, she decided to come back to work. She was just the right fit for us and the job was perfect for her. She was a top-notch organizer and a neat freak, as she put it, so she would fit right in with Grayson.

  We gave her a lowdown on Grayson’s feelings about the plastics. I thought we were going to pick her up off the floor laughing. One job filled, one to go. Zoe hired a part-time medical assistant as well, so the office was covered and training got under way, which meant I could finally go back to work at the apartment.

  With Grayson back in office, he was thrilled with the new employees and he promised to be patient with them as they learned his routine. He’d been hammered with work lately, but with the extra help, he should’ve been more than okay there. PMC only gave him one speaking engagement since the first of the year, so that was okay, but something still wasn’t clicking.

  He rarely talked to me and was going to the gym more and more. Our sex life was non-existent again and he wasn’t as attentive as he usually was. Since Harrison had returned from London, he spent more time with him, but it was usually just out for a beer or to the gym when they worked out together. Harrison and Monica still weren’t back together and I had begun to think that Grayson was envying Harrison’s single life.

  Finally, I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I went out for a run, leaving Grayson to read the paper and drink his coffee. He was totally being unfriendly and unsociable. When I returned, he was gone. No note, nothing. I decided to send him a text.

  Me: Call me about dinner, do you want to go out tonight? LU, AEB

  He never responded. I decided to see if Harrison had time to visit for a bit. Maybe he had seen his brother and knew what was up with Mr. Crankypants or at least where he was spending his time.

  Me: Can you grab coffee with me at Starbucks?

  Harrison: Sure, meet u there in 30

  I filled Harrison in on the last couple of months of how Grayson was there physically, but not really focused otherwise. I explained the feeling of disconnect and how I felt lonely in the relationship. Something wasn’t right. I could tell that Harrison had something on his mind.

  “What gives? I can tell you have something you want to say.”

  Inside, I was pleading for him to open up to me about Grayson. I needed him to help me make sense of my world. Harrison began to fill me in on all the details of his and Olivia’s relationship. He helped me understand how Olivia would twist the truth to her benefit, how she manipulated Grayson and how Grayson checked out on everyone else while she was in the picture.

  “Olivia had a hold on Grayson from the beginning. There was no getting through to him. I just hope she’s done tormenting him.”

  “Why in the hell are you bringing up Olivia? Is there something I don’t know? What’s going on here? Has she contacted him lately?” I could feel my blood about to boil over. Grayson had told me she was leaving town months ago and we never discussed her again. I wondered if that was true.

  Doubt. There it was again. I was beginning to doubt everything. Doubt creeps into the tiny cracks of a r
elationship and soon it becomes the Grand Canyon.

  “It was just an outspoken thought. Nothing more.” He rubbed my shoulder, trying to appease me, but I didn’t believe him for a minute.

  “I’m really worried that he’s pulling away from me. I found him sleeping on the couch again last night. It’s almost a routine with him now. I don’t even know most nights when he comes in, it’s so late. When I asked him about it, he got mad, showered and left. I know he needs his space, but his distance is hurting me. I need him. I asked him about dinner tonight, whether I should cook or not, and he blew me off. I haven’t heard from him all day.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to hold them back, but found it impossible. My heart ached with hurt and emptiness.

  Harrison reached out and took my hand in an effort to comfort me. He was holding it tight as he reassured me that Grayson would turn the corner, and to wait with patience. He reminded me that Grayson wasn’t the kind of person that could be pushed. We continued to talk, but suddenly we were interrupted by Grayson.

  “Just great, I leave you two alone for the day and here you are holding hands and getting all cozy!” Fire irradiated from his eyes. He was beyond angry.

  “Take it outside now,” Harrison yelled. He jumped up, knocking the chair backwards, and directed Grayson outside. Everyone in Starbucks stared at us.

  I tried to follow, but Harrison turned to me and shook his head, so I took my seat. I could see the two of the arguing through the window and was able to hear muffled shouting. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked outside to them, both becoming instantly mum, and I turned to Grayson. “I need you to meet me at home. We need to talk and I don’t think this is the place.” I turned and walked away, but he didn’t follow.

  The waiting game began. After two hours and no Grayson, my patience ran short. Surely they weren’t still arguing on the street? I started strolling back towards Starbucks, when I passed the gym. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grayson inside the gym taking on the heavy boxing bag like he was fighting for his life. I decided to go in and quietly watch him for a while. He looked smoking hot in his gym shorts and no shirt, with his muscles all tight and sweaty. The music was blaring and an angry. He hit the heavy bag with such fire and determination. It was obvious to me that he had something seriously bothering him, but what was keeping him from opening up to me?

  After time had passed, he was greeted by a perky, very pregnant blonde. He stopped, wiped the sweat from his face with the towel she held out, and hugged her.

  What the hell... It’s the evil plastic bitch Olivia... She’s back and she’s pregnant. What is she doing at the gym?

  I didn’t think of it as spying. I was watching my husband and his pregnant ex getting all cozy! While they held my attention, I saw Olivia drag her finger down their son’s name tattooed on his arm. With all the fire in me, it was all I could do to keep from killing both of them. How could he betray me like this?

  They were way too comfortable with each other and neither of them realized that they had an audience. They chatted for some time in what looked like a joking around atmosphere but the whole time, Grayson had his hands on her belly. Then suddenly they embraced, ending with a kiss. How could he do that?

  In my mind’s replay, I tried desperately to decide who was kissing who. Who initiated the kiss? Regardless, they didn’t seem to be ending the kiss too quickly. I had no intention of sticking around to be publicly humiliated, so I quickly ran and went back to the apartment. I sent a frantic text to Harrison and let him know what I saw, but he didn’t respond. Why should he? There was nothing left to be said or done.

  The idea of staying at the apartment didn’t seem too enticing, but it was getting late and I had nowhere else to go to be alone with my thoughts. I found a hotel and checked in. I didn’t even bring clean clothes, but who cared? No way was I going back to the apartment. I was reeling from hurt and anger and didn’t want to see Grayson, maybe ever again.

  Whose baby was she carrying? I just kept repeating that question over and over to myself.

  Lying on the bed in the dark with the box of tissues, I pondered all the possibilities of what I saw. After an hour or so more, my phone was still blowing up from Grayson’s calls. I suppose he made it home and finally realized that he was short one wife. I sent his calls to voicemail before finally just turning the phone off.

  Somewhere in the middle of my tears I finally fell asleep. Waking up startled from what I thought was a bad dream, I realized that yep, I was in a hotel in yesterday’s clothes. So much for it all being a bad dream. Instead, it was a nightmare that had just invaded my reality. I looked around to see what time it was, and it was after noon on Sunday. I’d been gone for almost twenty-four hours.

  I was certain much of my immediate world was looking for me, but I didn’t want to talk to them. I showered quickly, but was forced to wear my same clothes. Gross. The hotel line was ringing and when I answered it, it was the front desk confirming another night. It was decision time. I told them to put me down for another night. I ran out to a local store and picked up some clothes, a phone charger and toiletries. When I got in my car, I put my phone on to charge and wow, what do you know, a gazillion messages from Grayson and a hundred more from others. The only person I felt like talking to was Monica. Cooper would sell me out to Grayson for sure.

  “Oh, thank god you called, I’m sick with worry about you. Where are you? I’m coming to you!” I could hear her keys rattling.

  “Monica stop. Just stand still for a second and listen. I need to talk to you. Is he there?”

  “No, it’s just me. Everyone’s out looking for you. They’ve called the police since it’s been over twenty-four hours and you’re officially a missing person. Your dad is going crazy. Harrison tried to fill me in. What you’re thinking and what really happened may be entirely different.” She had no clue what I saw, no one did, and I was certain Grayson would never, ever admit it.

  “Where is he?”

  “Last I heard, he was at the hospital with a patient, I think. I’m not sure what that’s about, but he’s going crazy for you,” her voice was flooded with tension.

  “Physically, I’m fine, but mentally, I’m a wreck. To see him kissing his pregnant ex was difficult. All my issues with trust just came pouring back!” My voice was dry and cracking from crying and I was ready to throw up from all the emotions.

  “I have to go, Monica, but I’ll call you in a little bit. Tell everyone I’m okay, but there’s something I need to do.” I quickly hung up and made my way to the office, sure that I would find him there.

  I found Grayson’s car parked in the physician’s parking lot. Going up the back elevators, the door to his outdoor office was locked. Going around through the back way, I found the private entrance unlocked and quietly slipped in. The lights were off except for the break room and his personal office. I stepped into the break room and there was a purse on the table. Strange, maybe Zoe was there too. I could hear voices coming down the hall, Grayson’s and maybe Zoe’s, so I stepped out to greet them.

  My husband and that freakin’ trollop Olivia, together again.

  They were just as shocked to see me as I was to see them. Sizing them both up, I realized that it was a pleasant visit. He was dressed in jeans and a dress shirt, and Olivia was dressed in a skirt, stilettos and a very revealing top, even while obviously very pregnant. Still slutty, even pregnant. Wow, I couldn’t be sure who was more surprised.

  “Hello Grayson, Olivia.” I tried to remain calm and smug, not wanting either of them to see me cry.

  “Alexandra, it’s nice to meet you,” Olivia said as she stuck out her hand. I declined to offer her my hand, rather held on to my keys and bag while I stared at her. His eyes were like steel, and I couldn’t read him.

  “Can we talk for a minute… privately?” I asked, nodding pointedly at Olivia. My first thought was to tell him off, but this wasn’t the place. I wanted to hold some control over the situation and do things on my
own terms. We stepped into his office and he closed the door behind us.

  I started first, wanting to say my peace and leave. “After Starbucks, I waited but you never showed and I decided to leave. I didn’t want to be in the apartment or our marriage by myself any longer. Lucky me, when I took a walk, I saw you and Olivia at the gym holding each other and kissing, Grayson. Now, you’re here together. You have lots of explaining to do. So, I’m asking, when were you going to tell me about the baby?”

  “I had a patient who needed me,” he said with a grim face. He gave nothing away. That’s it? No explanation of Olivia, the kiss, the pregnancy? I was not going to stand back and let him make a fool of me. The idea of keeping the little woman at home and the fling on the side wasn’t going to fly with me. Let’s see how he likes a redheaded pistol firing back at him.

  “A patient. Really? I saw you this afternoon at the gym. I was there watching you hit that bag with so much anger. Then, I saw you with Olivia, your hands on her pregnant belly.” He stared at me. No reaction. Fine, let’s see if he untangles. I can play games too. “Who kissed who and who is the baby daddy?” I asked him with a smirk on my face.

  “Uhm, I didn’t realize you’d be keeping score, after hooking up with Harrison.”

  “Bullshit. We weren’t hooking up and you know it, we’re friends. He’s still in love with Monica and eventually they’ll find their way back to each other. Don’t deflect the argument. You told me Olivia was leaving town months ago. Are you going to answer the question?” I paused for a response. “Fine… I won’t ask again, ever.” I picked up my purse and turned for the door.

  “She left town, but there was a family emergency that brought her back. I can’t talk about it right now. Alexandra, don’t leave angry. It’s not what you think. I know your imagination sometimes gets the best of you, but stop and think about this for a second. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that I am having an affair.” He held both my shoulders from behind me at that point, but I refused to look at him.