He wanted her full attention. She got it. The stinging on her ass was a very definite reminder not to let her mind stray. Perhaps reading about spankings was more intriguing that experiencing one.
But then he stood and reached around to gently rub the aching spot, sending a shaft of arousal rushing through her.
“There are punishment spankings and spankings given for pleasure. Believe me when I tell you they’re two very different things.” His gaze filled with heat as he cupped a breast, lightly rubbing his thumb over the taut nipple. Suddenly, she wished there was nothing between them. That she could feel his thumb against her bare nub.
“One day, I’m going to have my mouth on these nipples, and I can’t wait.”
Her pulse quickened, then he moved out of her line of vision, exposing her to the group beyond. Oh, shit. She couldn’t do this. He walked behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Immediately, her nerves calmed.
“If I could have your attention, please.” Gray didn’t yell, but everyone immediately quietened and turned to look at him. “Thank you. I’d like to introduce you to Lacey. This is her first experience of BDSM. She just came tonight to observe, but she’s kindly agreed to participate in a demonstration for your benefit. I’m going to insist you speak in quiet tones so as not to jar or upset her. If you have any questions, can you please put up your hand or ask at the end. Thank you.”
“Ready, honey?” he murmured in her ear.
She guessed so. She nodded.
“Verbal response, please. I need to hear you, so there’s no risk of miscommunication between us.”
“Yes. Sir,” pleased with herself for remembering that last part.
“Good girl. If you need to slow down or stop, tell me. But I think you’ll enjoy this.” He raised his voice slightly. “Put your arms out in front of you, elbows bent, wrists together.” He started wrapping the red rope around her arms from the elbows up to her wrists. Then in a low, almost hypnotic voice, he started to speak.
“The origin of Shibari comes from Hojo-jutsu, a method of restraining captives and a form of torture. It evolved into erotic bondage. It’s an art and at its center is creating patterns that both complement and contrast with the natural curves of the body.”
When he was finished wrapping the rope around her arms, she couldn’t move them. A sliver of panic moved through her. Gray stepped in front of her, filling her vision. He smiled down at her. “You’re doing wonderfully, sweetheart.”
His praise filled that hole inside her.
Her gaze studied the rope tying her arms together.
“Look at me, Lacey.”
She glanced up at him. Leaning in, he kissed her gently, and pleasure filled her. When he moved away, the panic had been replaced by arousal.
He moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving her a light massage. God, that felt like heaven.
“Lots of tension back here, sweetheart.”
He didn’t have to tell her that. He ran his fingers lightly down her back and around her waist. Then back up. Up and down until she felt small shivers running over her skin. He then swept his fingers down over her shoulders to the top of her bra. He brushed his fingers across her breasts. Her nipples hardened, and she wished she could feel his touch against her nipples again.
Then his hands disappeared. The loss almost felt painful. He moved in front of her, a rope held in both his hands. He held the rope up to her chest, then ran it down over her breasts. Slowly. That shiver grew stronger. He smiled slightly. He knew the effect he was having on her. He curled the rope over and brushed it around her breast. It rubbed against her nipple.
Oh, hell.
He disappeared once more, moving behind her.
“All good, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He started wrapping the rope around her torso in a pattern she couldn’t follow. It made her feel slightly dizzy to look down so she glanced out at the crowd. But that just made her feel nervous.
“Close your eyes, Lacey. I’ll keep you safe.”
She caught her breath then closed her eyes. All her other senses came to life. She could feel the rope against her skin, feel the way it hugged her close. She could hear Gray moving behind her, the small whispers from the crowd.
“You have to be careful to get the tension right. Too loose, and your sub won’t feel secure, too tight, and she’ll feel suffocated. Check with her often. Especially if you’re new to each other or you’re unsure. How does that feel, Lacey?”
“Good,” she said in a slightly dreamy voice. The rope wasn’t tight. It was like a giant hug. A strange sense of calm came over her.
“She’s relaxed, her pulse is even, I’d say she likes it, don’t you?” he asked the audience.
They all murmured their agreement. He continued to wrap the rope around her torso, pausing every so often to knot it.
“What if the sub wants the rope to be tighter?” someone asked.
“You can tighten the rope, of course. But that means you’ll have to be even more vigilant at checking on your sub. You run the risk of cutting off circulation and nerve damage so keep them bound for a shorter amount of time. Don’t ever leave them alone. As a Dom it’s up to you to protect your sub. Even from themselves. Some subs won’t know that enough is enough and that’s when you step in. Safety first. Always have something close by to cut the ropes. Like EMT scissors, which have a flat side that can go under the rope and along the skin without hurting your sub.
“Lacey? Take a look at yourself.”
When she opened her eyes, someone stood in front of her, holding up a mirror so she could see the ropes wrapped around her. She was shocked to see herself looking so relaxed. The rope looked somewhat like a spider’s web. Intricate and beautiful. There was a loop just below her breasts that had lengths of rope coming off it down her stomach. Another loop of rope went around her lower hips.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Sir,” she whispered back.
The person with the mirror stepped back.
“Close your eyes again,” he told her.
She quickly complied.
“Now I’ll wrap her breasts, creating enough pressure to arouse, almost to the point of pain.”
Gray wrapped the rope around her breasts, almost squeezing them. Her nipples hardened, her breathing quickening. As she inhaled, the ropes tightened ever so slightly, adding to her pleasure. Her mind drifted slightly.
He pulled at the rope, tightening it even further, and she gasped at the bite of pain. Then he lightly ran his fingers over her hard nipples, and arousal flooded her body.
“Create patterns with the rope that follow the lines of your sub’s body. You can place knots in places that can both stimulate and frustrate. See the knot I created here?” He moved in front of her, showing a piece of rope to his audience. Then he turned back to her and looped one end around the rope that was already wrapped around her torso.
“Move your legs apart, Lacey.”
She separated her legs, and he pulled the rope up between her open legs then moved behind her once more. When he tugged on the rope, a well-placed knot rubbed against her clit.
“Oh, God,” she groaned.
The audience laughed quietly.
He tugged again and she whimpered.
“See what I mean?” he asked. “Now, my sub looks pretty happy, wouldn’t you say? Her cheeks are flushed, and her breathing is coming quickly but not so fast that it would indicate she’s panicking. Shibari can be an excellent way of achieving subspace, also known as being rope drunk. How are you feeling, Lacey?”
Like she was flying. She swayed slightly, the rush of endorphins made her head swim. “I feel amazing.”
The laughter barely penetrated this time. She was safe in her little bubble. A place she never wanted to leave.
She heard Gray speak, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. There was a tugging on the rope, but she paid little attention. She felt so g
Damn, she’d hit subspace fast. The crowd clapped quietly. He’d deliberately kept things simple, not knowing how she’d react, but also wanting to demonstrate a few different knots and techniques. As he unwound the rope, he kept a close eye on her. He had the scissors close by, but he didn’t think it was necessary to cut her out.
Javier moved close as the crowd dispersed. “Do you want some help?”
No.
He was shocked by his desire to keep her to himself. To not allow anyone else to place their hands on her. Get a grip on yourself, man. Her wellbeing came before any petty feelings of jealousy.
“Yes, thanks. Can you untie her arms?” They worked together, and soon had her freed. Gray picked her up, surprised at how light she felt. She leaned into him with a soft murmur, her head falling against his chest so trustingly.
“Go, take care of her. I’ll tidy up here,” Javier told him.
“Thanks, man.”
He moved over to a quiet corner and sat on an empty sofa. One of the subs who worked for the club brought him a blanket and a bottle of water.
“Thanks, Aria. How’s your mother? Is she feeling better?” he asked, as he wrapped the blanket around Lacey, then undid the top of the bottle.
“She is. She’s out of the hospital now and feeling so much better. Thanks for your help with the specialist.”
“No problem, anytime. Thanks, we’ll be fine now.”
As Aria walked away, he lifted the bottle of water to Lacey’s lips. “Take a sip, honey.”
She drank thirstily for a moment then pulled back, turning her face away. He put the bottle of water down and tugged her against him, content to hold her as she came down from subspace.
“How are you feeling, Lacey?” He kept his voice low.
“Good,” she said dreamily.
“You like the ropes.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Yeah. It felt like I was flying. I could let go of all my worries, just like Cady said. I didn’t believe her. Didn’t think I could forget about everything.”
“You have a lot of worries?”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning under them.”
“What do you worry about?”
“Everything. Do you know when I first met you I thought you were fake? I didn’t think anyone could be that nice. Especially not when you look like you do.”
“Like I do?” It seemed that when her guard was down, she became much chattier. Good to know.
“Gorgeous. Sexy.”
“That’s why you avoided me when you first came to work for Black-Gray?”
“You look like you should be on the front page of some magazine. The country’s most eligible bachelor.”
“What? Not the world?”
She laughed quietly, and he smiled. He liked hearing her laugh. She didn’t do it nearly often enough. She seemed to carry far too many concerns. He wondered what he could do to ease her worries.
“And do you still think I’m fake?”
“No. But that’s almost worse. When I thought you were just being nice to charm women into your bed, it was easier to ignore my feelings for you.”
Feelings? This was promising.
“You feel this attraction between us.” He knew she did. The way she reacted to his kiss, his presence, told him all he needed to know. But he wanted her to admit it to herself.
“Yes.” She let out a sigh. “But like I said earlier, I can’t get involved with you.”
“Because I’m your boss.” He understood her fears but he wasn’t about to let that worry stand in the way of getting to know her better.
“That and because you’ll discover the truth about me.”
“The truth?”
“My flaws.”
“Everyone has flaws, baby.”
“Not you. You’re damn near perfect.”
Him? Was she kidding?
“Nobody has a bad word to say about you. I didn’t think guys like you existed. You’re a gentleman, you help people without expecting anything in return, you actually care about people.”
“You’ve been asking around about me?”
“Everybody says the same thing. You’re a genuinely nice guy. Although Cady thinks you spend too much time on other people and forget to look after yourself. She thinks you need someone who’ll take care of you.”
He snorted. Cady talked too much. And he didn’t need anyone to take care of him.
She yawned then stared up at him in consternation. “Oh, God, sorry.”
He had to smile. Damn, she was cute. It wasn’t something he would have said about her before now. She always looked elegant, together, poised. Now she was ruffled, her eyes heavy-lidded, her cheeks slightly flushed. He much preferred her looking this way.
“I’m not perfect, honey. I have my faults, just like everyone else.” She was tensing up. Losing that soft, dreamy look. Worry entered her gaze. He wasn’t quite ready to let her go yet. Pulling her up, he took her mouth with his. Tasting her, drinking from her. He dominated the kiss, taking complete charge.
She melted.
His pleasure soared, knowing he could bring this carefully composed woman to such a place of surrender.
He leaned back and ran his finger over her plump lip. “I’m not as patient as I should be. I take too much on. And my family takes up so much of my time I tend to spend too much energy catering to their needs.”
“Your family?”
“I have two sisters, both younger. Rory and Julia. Julia is very much like our mother. She’s married to a gynaecologist. He’s an okay guy so long as you don’t have to spend too much time with him. My youngest sister, Rory is almost the complete opposite. She’s a bit of a wild-child, and she drives our mother insane. Especially when she doesn’t answer her phone. My mother is a worrier. She likes to be able to keep in touch with all her children.”
“It’s nice she cares.”
Was that a note of wistfulness in her voice?
“She was never like that when we were growing up, but after my father died she started to stress about something happening to one of us. Julia and I always answer her calls and Julia visits her often, but Rory seems to enjoy riling her up. Usually, it falls to me to track her down and get her to call Mother.”
“That must get tiresome.”
“My ex certainly thought so.” That probably wasn’t the conversation to get into right then. He shifted her weight slightly, hoping she couldn’t feel his erection pressing against her. Seeing her in subspace, touching her body as he’d weaved patterns of rope around her had been an incredible turn-on and holding her tightly on his lap wasn’t helping matters.
“Am I getting too heavy?” she asked, trying to move away from him.
He held her tighter. “Not at all. I like holding you.”
Lacey watched him carefully. She couldn’t believe she was sitting on Gray’s lap, dressed just in her underwear and wrapped in a blanket. How she was going to face him on Monday morning, she had no idea.
She knew she’d judged him unfairly when she’d first met him. She’d seen him work with clients. The compassionate way he treated everyone. She had never seen him grow angry or impatient. He seemed totally genuine, but she knew she couldn’t fully trust him.
She felt more relaxed and at peace than she had in years. She had loved being bound. It had been freeing. But being in a room full of people was completely different than being alone and vulnerable with someone. Sex was a whole other level of trust. And the more time she spent with him, the more likely he was to see the truth about her. That beneath the calm, confident exterior she was a mess. Not nearly good enough for a man like him.
“I need to go home.”
Gray tightened his hold briefly then relaxed. “I guess this has been a lot to take in for tonight.”
“I don’t think it’s really for me.”
His face grew thoughtful. “No?”
“No. I can’t give up that much control. Being tied up was okay tonight because there were lots of people here, and I know you. But with someone else or in a different setting or another scene, I don’t think I’d feel the same way. It takes a level of trust I’m just not willing to give.”
“Trust can be a difficult thing to achieve. But it also goes both ways. A sub has to trust her Dom to look after her, to respect her safe word and her limits. But at the same time, a Dom has to trust the sub. Trust that she’ll know her limits. That she’ll communicate with him. The last thing a Dom wants is to hurt their sub unintentionally or bring up bad memories. So, you see, it goes both ways. And ultimately the sub has all the control.”
“Provided the Dom listens. If he were stronger than her, if he had her bound, then he could do what he liked, right? He could hurt her, and if no one was around, then nobody could stop him from causing her pain.”
“Which is why we recommend never going anywhere with a Dom you don’t know. Safe, sane, and consensual.” There was a pause. “Did someone hurt you, Lacey?”
She stiffened. “No. Nobody hurt me. I haven’t been the victim of abuse or anything. I just think that a woman on her own needs to be careful about who she trusts. Giving up control can make you weak. It can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do because you’re not thinking properly.”
She pulled away from him, and this time he let her. That wasn’t a pang of disappointment she felt. Really, it wasn’t.
“Where’s my dress?”
“Xanthe put it here.” He pulled it off the back of the sofa and then stood and helped her get into the dress. She held up her hair as he pulled up the zipper then kissed the side of her neck.
“I enjoyed tonight, Lacey, thank you.”
“Thank you, Sir.” She glanced down, feeling a little embarrassed.
“I’m not letting you ignore me again, though.”
Her head popped up, her eyes widening at his stern tone.
“What do you mean?”
“I know you’ve been avoiding me because of the feelings you have for me. Maybe those feelings scare you. Maybe you think you can’t trust me, but if you avoid everything that scares you, you’ll never live. And I don’t know about you, but these feelings I have for you are stronger than anything I’ve felt before.”
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