Personal Foul

by Hayley Faiman

  It takes everything inside of me not to do a fucking dance at the confession. “I’m glad you came to me, Keller. I’m here for more than just being your football coach. I’m here to support you and help you in any way that I can. I know you think I bust your balls a fuck-ton, but my main job and goal is to make you the best you can be. You can’t be the best ball player if your head is clouded with other shit. So, what’s up?”

  He slumps down in his chair and looks at the ceiling, letting out a breath of air before he finally lifts his face to look at me. I watch as he wages some kind of war inside his head before he speaks.

  “None of my friends have girlfriends. They’re all single. Jessa’s great. I mean, she doesn’t give me shit, she doesn’t harp and bitch and moan, which is nice. That’s just not her personality. And she’s so busy with classes and work that she also doesn’t party. I like to go out and be social, but she doesn’t, never has. It just seems like we have nothing in common, and the other college girls at parties, they’re more my speed,” he rambles. I’m ready to give him my advice, tell him, selfishly, to break up with her. That would make my life so much fucking easier.

  “But?” I mutter, wishing that I didn’t have to ask the question.

  “She’s my ride or die,” he shrugs. “She’ll always be at my side, no question. Loyal to the fucking core. She may not dress like the girls I’m attracted to, but she’s not ugly.”

  It takes everything inside of me to tamp down the rage I feel as he speaks his words. Jessa is absolutely stunning. She’s hands down the most beautiful, natural woman I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t need a fuck-ton of makeup on her face.

  I love her more natural look, and her clothes suit her easy-going attitude. She’s simple; but even in her simplicity, she makes all the other women around her look like trolls. Trent Keller has no fucking idea how perfect she is.

  “So what is it, exactly, that you’re asking me?”

  He furrows his brow and shakes his head once. “I don’t know. Just, some of the guys say just to cheat on her, she’d never know,” he murmurs. His words are like a punch to my gut.

  “Is that something you’d do, or have done?” I ask. I feel like the biggest fucking dick on the planet.

  “No. I mean, yeah, I’ve done it before, but it didn’t mean anything. I haven’t in a while,” he admits.

  He looks up to me, as though he’s wishing for me to impart some serious wisdom on him, and all I want to do is tell him to leave her so that I can have her all to myself. Fucking shit.

  “I think that you shouldn’t focus so much on girls. You’re here for football. Your main concern should be the game and improving the way you play. You don’t improve on your skill, you won’t ever be first string. If you aren’t first string, you’ll never get drafted into the NFL. So, if I were you, I’d focus on football and leave the girls alone,” I state. Every single word leaves a bad taste in my mouth. My stomach knots when he nods.

  “Yeah, you’re right. Football is the most important thing for me right now. Jessa is stable. She ain’t going anywhere, and I don’t have to put forth any fucking effort with her. She’s a warm body when I need to fuck, you know?” he shrugs.

  It takes everything inside of me not to strangle the little fuck, but I don’t, barely. Keller thanks me and leaves my office. When he’s gone, I let out a long breath.

  Fucking hell, what the fuck just happened?

  Did I seriously, inadvertently, advise him to stay with the woman I’m falling for?

  Shit.

  I stare at my blank computer screen as I curse myself. I had the prime opportunity to tell him to leave her, and he probably would have, and yet—I didn’t. My phone sounds in my pocket, and I pull it out. It’s a message from Jessa.

  Jessa: Already missing you.

  I stare at the words, and it makes my knotted stomach twist a little more. I miss her too, more than she knows. And yet, I can’t respond to her. Not right now. Not yet.

  I shove my phone into my desk drawer and leave my office, locking it behind me and heading toward John’s office. We have a mini-meeting before lunch, and then its weight training, film study of practice, and then, finally, practice. Our first game is soon, and it’s all hands-on deck, training staff and players.

  “You look like shit,” John announces as I walk into his office.

  There are a couple other coaching staff colleagues that have already arrived, so I don’t go into detail. I don’t tell him that I just had the opportunity to make Jessa a free agent, and yet, I didn’t fucking make it happen.

  I don’t tell him that Keller is a douchebag and doesn’t deserve her, but am I much better? I’m going after her, an eighteen-year-old that’s in a relationship. A woman twenty years my junior. Fuck, I am such a goddamn mess.

  JESSA

  I WATCH MY phone throughout my entire class lecture, then during lunch as I wait for Cole to contact me. Trent is sticking especially close to me today, and I’m not sure why. He’s being extra affectionate, his hand constantly on me, never leaving my body, and it confuses the hell out of me.

  “Hey, babe, why don’t we go back to my room and have some fun before practice?” he asks as his lips skim the shell of my ear.

  I press my lips together, biting on the inside of my cheek before I turn to him. His brown eyes hold me captive for a beat, and he looks like the boy I remember—the fourteen-year-old I fell in love with. I smile softly before his face twists into his normal cocky grin, and he completely shifts back to the man I’m used to looking at. I open my mouth to respond when my phone buzzes with a message in my bag.

  Turning to grab it, I see that it’s from Cole. There’s a time and place in the text, but nothing else. I try to school my features before I turn back to Trent. “I’m sorry, I have a study group, and then I want to try to get some homework done before work so that I can go to that party on Saturday with you,” I say as sweetly as I can.

  His eyes study me for just a breath before he shrugs. “Sounds good, babe. That party is more important than a quick lay anyway. I’ll be fucking you all night long Saturday though, so prepare,” he chuckles.

  It takes everything inside of me not to throw up as my stomach rolls at his words. With only thirty minutes to make it to my date with Cole, I press a quick kiss against Trent’s cheek as I stand to leave.

  “I can’t stay up late and wait for you tonight, so I’ll be by your dorm in the morning to take you to class,” he announces.

  I agree and wave goodbye before I hurry away from him, taking my phone back out of my bag again.

  I pull up the app on my phone and plug in the address Cole gave me, glad that it’s only a few blocks away, according to the map. I pick up my pace once I realize that I only have about ten minutes to reach my destination. The butterflies in my stomach flutter harder and harder with each step that I take.

  I’ve lied to Trent. Lied. And while I feel badly about that, my excitement at seeing Cole trumps all of the guilt. I’m sure that the guilt will return, but for now, I’m trying to shove it aside, because—Cole. I’m going to see Cole, and he’s going to kiss me, and touch me; and if I’m being honest with myself, I would admit that I want him to be inside of me, too.

  My app tells me that I’ve reached my destination, and I find myself stopped in front of a little older home. It’s white with dark brown roofing and trim. I take one step toward the house and then stop. I look around a little more and notice the grass is neatly kept, the paint fresh on the outside of the home, and it looks like a fantasy. Like every fantasy I’ve ever imagined. It’s nothing I’ve ever had before and everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

  “You have to come to me, Jessa. I won’t go down there to get you,” his deep husky voice calls out, shaking me from my daydream.

  I don’t think of anything as I close the distance between us at practically a run. Without a thought, I throw my arms around his neck and allow my chest to crash into his as I tip my neck back to look up at him. I expec
t to see his smiling face looking down at mine, but instead I’m met with a scowl. I don’t get a chance to ask him what’s wrong before he lifts me up off of my toes and drags me into his house, slamming the door behind me.

  “You’re fucking trouble, Jessa,” he growls before his lips crash against mine. He backs me up so that my back slams against the door, and I keep my arms around his neck as I open my lips with a moan. I let my bag fall to the floor beside us with a thud.

  His tongue slips inside of my mouth, and he possesses me as he always does, with firm, warm, wet strokes. I sag against the wall, my fingers twisting in his soft hair.

  “Jessa,” he sighs as he moves from my mouth and presses his forehead against mine.

  Biting the inside of my cheek, I don’t say anything, afraid that I’ll say too much. Afraid that I’ll tell him how much I want him, need him, and crave him. It’s ridiculous, completely and totally, and yet it’s all true.

  “Please,” is the only word that escapes my lips.

  Cole makes a whining noise in the back of his throat before he bends down and wraps his hands around the backs of my thighs. He picks me up in one swift movement, and turns, before he begins to walk up the stairs of the house.

  Keeping my arms wrapped around his shoulders, I look nowhere but his light green eyes as he moves us throughout his home. I want to look around. I want to see if it’s as perfect as I imagined it would be at the first glance of the outside, but I don’t. His eyes have every ounce of my attention.

  “I don’t have time to do everything I want to do with you, Jessa,” he announces as he slowly sets my feet down onto the ground.

  I suck in a ragged breath. “What are we doing? What am I doing?” I ask shakily.

  Cole reaches out and cups my cheek with his hand, his thumb running along my bottom lip before he shakes his head once, as if to clear his mind. “Does it feel wrong? Being here with me?” he asks.

  I take a step back and notice the look of disappointment on his face, assuredly thinking that I’ve changed my mind. I haven’t, though. Reaching for the hem of my loose, scoop neck, grey t-shirt, I pull it over my head, dropping it behind me somewhere. Then I slip out of my flat ballet shoes and pop the first button of my jeans. Cole’s arm shoots out, and his hand wraps around my wrist.

  “Slowly,” he murmurs, his pale green eyes shimmering and darkening a touch.

  With my eyes on his, I slowly unzip my jeans and shimmy them down, letting them fall to my ankles before I step out of them.

  Cole’s teeth sink into his plump bottom lip as his nostrils flare. Nobody other than Trent has ever seen me so naked before, and I suck in a breath as I unhook my bra and let it fall down my arms.

  A growl erupts from deep within Cole’s chest, and he is suddenly right in front of me, the soft cotton of his shirt brushing against the hard peaks of my nipples. His warm breath fans my face as his fingers gently skim up my sides, brushing the sides of my breasts before they dive into my hair.

  “I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you so hard that you feel me between your legs for a week,” he announces, his voice deep and husky.

  I whimper as I press my thighs together. I feel wetness pooling between my legs, and I want him to touch me, to do as he wishes and fuck me—hard. He brings his face closer to mine and his nose skims alongside my own before his mouth is at my ear.

  “I’m not going to fuck you today, Jessa. In fact, you’re the only one of us that’s going to be naked,” he whispers, causing goosebumps to break out over my entire body.

  I let out a breath when he takes a step back from me and lifts his chin toward the bed in a silent command. On shaky legs, I make my way over to the bed and sit down on the edge. I feel exposed, self-conscious, and nervous all rolled into one.

  Cole moves closer toward me and stands right in front of me. His jeans are snug on his trim hips, and I lick my lips at the thought of slipping his belt from them and pulling them down. I want to know what he looks like, I want to see all of him, and I want to taste him, as well.

  “Spread your legs for me,” he demands huskily.

  My breath hitches as I lift my eyes to look into his. He looks serious, and his jaw is clenched. I don’t resist or even speak. I spread my legs and place each one of my feet on the side railing of the bed. Cole grunts as his nostrils flare. Without a word, he sinks to his knees in front of me. His fingertips skim the insides of my thighs, and I can’t control the way they shake as he inches closer toward my center.

  “Cole,” I whimper as I pinch my eyes closed tightly.

  He presses his lips together before his hands move to my hips and he tugs me closer to the edge of the bed, causing my upper half to fall backward. Sticking out my elbows, I keep my body slightly upright so that I can look down at him.

  I wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. I gasp when he wrenches my panties down my legs, then his tongue touches my center. It’s warm and wet and like nothing I’ve ever felt before. My legs automatically spread wider as I push my hips a little closer to his face.

  With a growl, Cole wraps his hands around the outsides of my thighs and holds me open for him. His tongue swirls around my clit before he sucks it between his lips, and I cry out in pleasure. I’ve never felt anything like this before. My body feels hot, and I can’t control the way my hips roll and search for more, more of him, of his mouth—of everything.

  When his tongue moves and fills my center, I let out a long moan as a sheen of sweat breaks out over my skin. “Cole,” I whisper as my body starts to shake. His lips move toward my clit again, and then I feel two of his fingers enter me.

  My head drops back and my eyes flutter closed as he fills me. “Fuck me,” he growls against my center, his voice causing a vibration sensation against my core, which courses through my entire body.

  “Cole, oh god, you feel so good,” I moan, as my hips roll and buck against his mouth and fingers.

  I feel my belly clench, and I lift my head, my eyes opening and locking with his pale green ones as my insides burst. I cry out, my hands shooting toward his hair and fisting into his silky strands as I grind against him. For the first time in my life—I come.

  “Holy shit,” I whisper once I’ve started to settle down from my release.

  I let his head go as my cheeks heat in embarrassment. Cole presses his lips to the inside of my thigh as he pulls his fingers out of me and crawls beside me on the bed, pulling me up and against his chest. I lay my head against his soft t-shirt covered chest. One of his hands is wrapped around my waist from beneath me, and the other rests against my naked hip.

  “That was beautiful,” he murmurs before his lips brush the top of my head.

  “I don’t know what that was, but I’ve never felt it before,” I admit.

  His hand moves up from my waist to tangle in the back of my hair as he tugs my head gently, forcing me to look up at him.

  “An orgasm?” he asks, his pale green eyes nothing but completely serious. I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.

  He shakes his head as his lips twitch, “My sweet, Jessa,” he murmurs before his mouth touches mine. “Tell me about you, something nobody knows,” he murmurs as his eyes stay connected to mine.

  I shake my head slightly, but he doesn’t allow me to move much. He waits, though not impatiently, and I wonder if he’s always so calm and collected. I reach up and cup his cheek with my hand, my thumb tracing his bottom lip before I speak.

  “I’m not anything special, Cole. I don’t have dreams of grandeur. I just want to be happy, live in a little house, have a few kids, and never have to scrimp and be without. Whatever that looks like as far as a career, then I’m willing to work for it.”

  He nods once as his hand on my hip squeezes my flesh gently. “That dream, it tells me everything I need to know. You’ve gone without, you’ve scrimped, and you’re willing to work for what you want in life,” he states.

  I nod before I turn the tables on him. “What about you?”

/>   His fingers loosen their grip in my hair but move up to my scalp as he massages me gently. “I thought I was going to play professional ball and be famous,” he begins. It sounds exactly like Trent, and I tense. He ignores my tight muscles as he continues to massage me. “I played professionally one year after college. You know how many games I played in?” he asks.

  “How many?”

  “None. I played in zero games, and I got injured in practice. Fucked up my shoulder. I had surgery and tried rehab, but my arm was never the same. My career was over before it began. It was a wakeup call. It was hard as hell to accept, but then I got a job coaching a high school and I liked it. Boys that age are great. Molding them into ball players and watching them take shape is amazing,” he murmurs.

  “But you’re teaching college now,” I say, stating the obvious.

  He chuckles before he winks. “I make more money now. But in all honesty, I would go back to high school age in a heartbeat if college didn’t work for me anymore. I like it here, though. The money is good, the guys are still young enough as incoming freshman that, for the most part, I can train them to play the way I want them to.”

  Moving my hand from his cheek to the side of his neck, I press my body against his a little more as I adjust myself so that I can lift up a bit more. “You’re amazing. I can tell you really care.”

  Cole’s hand moves down a bit to grip the back of my neck firmly. “I’m not amazing, and honest to fuck I care about them winning. They win and I keep my job; they lose and I lose my job.”

  “You care, Cole,” I state. His eyes narrow slightly before he grins.

  “I do care, but at the end of the day, if they don’t follow my lead, or the staff’s lead, and it causes us to lose? No amount of my caring will win a game. It’s not only about that player out there, it’s about the team, and the coaching staff, too. One bad season could put all of our jobs in jeopardy,” he explains.

  My brow furrows as I think about his words. “That sounds stressful,” I whisper.