Cooper By The Gross (All 144 Cooper Stories In One Volume)

by Bill Bernico

  I called Dan the next day from my office and told him I’d be calling Bea to tell her of my discovery. He said he could be there in half an hour. He just needed to tie up a few loose ends first. I said that would be perfect and waited twenty minutes before calling Bea Dorsey.

  “Bea,” I said into the phone. “This is Matt Cooper.”

  “Yes Matt,” Bea said cheerfully. “Did you find him, my dad, I mean?”

  “I think so,” I said. “I need to talk to you about it. Can you come to my office this morning?”

  “Yes,” Bea said, excited at the prospect. “What time?”

  Matt checked his watch. It was nine twenty-five. “Can you be here at ten? I’ll be out of the office for a little while, but I’ll be back shortly before ten.” He told the little white lie so she wouldn’t show up early and find Dan waiting there.

  “Oh, yes, Matt,” Bea said. “I’ll be there. Thank you.”

  “Bea,” I said, “you’ll need to bring your step dad along. There are some legal matters that involve him, too.”

  “Okay,” Bea said. “I’ll make sure he comes along. See you at ten.”

  I hung up just as Dan walked into the office, followed by a uniformed officer.

  “Matt,” Dan said. “I brought Evans along as a witness, in case it comes to that. Besides, when we take Dorsey down, we can use an extra man. Everything set on your end?”

  “She’ll be here at ten,” I said. “Where do you and Officer Evans want to hide?”

  Dan looked around the office before his eyes settled on my closet door. “That’ll be perfect,” Dan said. “I’ll leave the door open just a crack and once they incriminate themselves, we’ll step out and nab them.”

  “You two go into the closet and pull the door closed like you’ll have it later,” I said. “I’ll talk at my desk and you see if you can hear everything.”

  Dan and Evans stepped into the closet and pulled the door almost closed. I sat at my desk and read several sentences off of a sheet of paper. The closet door opened and Dan and Evans stepped out again.

  “Perfect,” Dan said. “I heard everything just fine.”

  “Now all we can do is wait,” I said. “Have a seat.” I gestured toward the leather sofa. Dan and Evans sat and I stood in front of them, too nervous to sit just yet.

  “How’s it going with the sniper case?” I said to Dan. “Any leads on the killer?”

  Dan nodded. “We think we know his identity but he wasn’t home when we raided the place last night. And less than an hour later he struck again, this time at a bus stop.”

  I remembered seeing something about a bus stop in Sweeney’s record. “Was it the bus stop on Alvarado?” I said.

  Dan turned to look at Officer Evans. They exchanged a look and then Dan turned back to me. “How’d you know?” Dan said.

  “His name is Byron Sweeny, isn’t it?” I said.

  “Go on,” Dan said.

  “His twin brother, Myron was beat into a coma at that same bus stop,” I told Dan. “He’d been training at the gym, trying to beef up but couldn’t cut it and dropped out. The guys who beat him up at the bus stop were big musclemen types. I have a feeling Byron is getting revenge for his brother.”

  “It all fits,” Dan agreed. “We already put out an APB out for him when we didn’t find him at home. It’s just a matter of time now before we bring him in.”

  “Let’s hope that happens before he shoots anyone else,” I said. Dan and I talked for a few more minutes. I glanced at my watch. It was a few minutes before ten. “You both better get back in the closet. She’ll be here any time now.”

  Dan and Officer Evans stepped into the closed and eased the door closed most of the way and stood perfectly still, the way only cops on a stakeout could. I sat behind my desk and waited. I didn’t have to wait long. It was just one minute before ten when my office door opened and Bea walked in followed by Ronald Dorsey. They closed the door behind them and stepped up to my desk. Dorsey’s eyes got wide when he saw me sitting there.

  “Mr. Dolan?” Dorsey said. “What are you doing here?”

  Bea turned to Dorsey and said. “Dolan? This is Matt Cooper.”

  “But he came to the house and told me his name was Dolan from some insurance company,” Dorsey said. “What’s going on here, Bea?”

  I stood and gestured for them to sit. Bea sat in my client’s chair and Dorsey pulled a spare chair from against the wall over next to Bea.

  “I needed Mr. Cooper to get some information that I didn’t think you’d give me on your own,” Bea said. “I needed to know who my real dad was.”

  “And this is the guy?” Dorsey said. “A gumshoe?”

  “I prefer private investigator,” I told Dorsey.

  Bea shot a glance at the framed photo of Amy and Clay I had on my desk. “Is that my brother?” She said.

  I reached for the frame and laid it face down. “Look,” I said, turning to Bea. “Even though I may well be your real dad, I can’t afford to mess up my life right now. You understand?”

  Her face turned sour and her tone changed. “It was you all along, wasn’t it?”

  I shrugged and said nothing.

  “So that’s it?” Bea said. “You don’t want to mess up your life? That’s all you have to say to me?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said and then gestured toward Dorsey. “But you’ve had a dad all these years. I’ve only had my family for a short time and I don’t want to lose them over this.”

  Dorsey sat up straight and said to Bea, “I have a suggestion. You’ve had some out of pocket expenses with this search, haven’t you?”

  Bea nodded, “Yes.”

  “And you’ve had a lot of emotional trauma, too, haven’t you, sweety?” Dorsey added.

  “Uh huh,” Bea said, forcing out a tear and turning away from me. She buried her face in her hands.

  Dorsey turned to me. “How about if you reimburse Bea for her expenses and give her a little something extra for the pain she’s endured?”

  “How about if I just void my investigation bill and call it even?” I said.

  Bea lifted her head from her hands and gave me a dirty look. “And you think that’ll make it all better?”

  “It’ll be one less expense for you,” I said.

  She wiped at her cheeks with her hands. “But I’ve paid for other investigations beside yours,” Bea said. “I came to you after the other detectives couldn’t find anything. What about that?”

  “How much have you spent?” I said.

  Bea dug around in her purse and withdrew a slip of paper and read from it. “Two thousand six hundred forty-five dollars and fifty cents,” she said, folding the paper again and dropping it back in her purse.

  “How handy,” I said.

  “What’s handy?” Dorsey said.

  “That your daughter came here with her expenses already figured out,” I said.

  “Look,” Dorsey said. “Let’s cut to the chase. You pay Bea’s expenses and throw in a little for her emotional trauma and we’ll forget we ever saw you.”

  “How little?” I said.

  “How little what?” Dorsey said.

  “How much were you thinking would smooth out Bea’s trauma?” I said.

  Dorsey pretended to be thinking about it and then said, “I would think twenty-five hundred should do it. Let’s call it five grand even. We’ll cut you a break.”

  “Five grand?” Bea almost screamed. “Double that and we’ll never bother you again. Otherwise when we leave here we go straight to your house, Dad.” She said Dad with a certain amount of disdain.

  I stood and walked around my desk to where Bea sat. I laid a hand on her shoulder. “You know,” I said. “After seeing how much this hurts you, I’ve changed my mind. I want to be your dad and do everything that comes with fatherhood. If I talk to Amy, I’m sure she’ll understand. And you can finally have a brother. What do you say?”

  Bea’s eyes got wide and her mouth hung open. I’d caught her
by surprise.

  “Are you out of your mind?” She said. “Ten grand or I’m going to your wife and tell her the whole story.”

  I looked at Dorsey. “Is that how you feel, too, Mr. Dorsey?” I said.

  “Hey, I was willing to cut you a break at five grand,” he said, “but you heard the lady. Ten grand.”

  “You sure that’s my only option?” I said.

  They both nodded and I sighed heavily. “Okay, you win,” I said.

  I sat back down at my desk and pulled out my checkbook and wrote out a check for ten thousand dollars and signed it. I handed it to Bea and said, “Now how do I know you won’t be back and try to hold me up for more money?”

  “You’ll have to take my word for it, Dad,” Bea said sarcastically.

  Bea slipped the check into her purse and got up from her chair. Dorsey followed suit and the two headed for the door. Before they’d taken two steps, Dan and Officer Evans stepped out of the closet. Dan held up his shield and Evans had his .38 trained on the pair.

  “Hands in the air,” Dan said. “You’re both under arrest for blackmail.”

  Bea shot me a look that could have melted lead. I shrugged and spread my hands. “Don’t look at me,” I said. “Talk to your dad…your real dad.” I pointed at Dorsey.

  Dan took Bea’s purse from here and retrieved the check from it. “Evidence,” he said to Bea. “Besides, where you two are going, you won’t need it.”

  Bea tried to lunge at me but was restrained by Officer Evans. Dan slipped his cuffs off his belt and snapped them on Dorsey’s wrists behind his back. Evans got Bea under control and put his cuffs on her. She stopped struggling.

  I stepped up almost nose-to-nose with Bea. “You almost got away with it,” I said. “But you forgot one thing. Susan, your mother, and I did have a one-night fling all those years ago but I didn’t get her pregnant.” I shot a quick look at Dorsey. “Did I, Dorsey?”

  Dorsey said nothing and looked away.

  “See,” I said, gesturing at Dorsey. “He knows I didn’t get her pregnant. He knows because he already did shortly before I came along. Only Susan knew the real truth and she almost took it to her grave with her. Somehow Bea recently found out that her mother and I had had the one-night fling. Why Susan ever told her, I don’t know, but Bea stored that information away for future use and when Susan died, Bea figured I’d be an easy touch. She shared her idea with her dad and between the two of them, they figured on putting the bite on me.”

  Dan and Evans pulled their two prisoners toward the door. Dan paused and looked back at me. “Remind me to tell you about Laverne next time I see you.”

  “What?” I said. “You’re going to leave me with a cliffhanger like that and just walk out?”

  “Later,” Dan said and took Bea and Dorsey down to his radio car.

  *****

  Byron Sweeney locks himself in the men’s room at the Shell gas station, setting his suitcase on the sink. He flips open the latches and pulls the rifle stock out of its foam surround. He grabs the other half and fastens it to the stock. Lastly he secures the scope to the rifle and loads one round into the breech. It’s nearly ten p.m. and in just a few minutes he’ll walk out of the men’s room with his rifle. He won’t have any need for the suitcase after tonight and it will remain perched up on the sink. Byron checks his watch. One minute left.

  The gas station’s owner turns out the lights in the office, making sure the overhead garage door is locked. He takes one last look around the office and notices that the men’s room key and the foot-long wooden dowel that it’s chained to are not hanging on their hook. He walks around to the side of his building and notices that the men’s room light is still on. He tries the knob. It’s locked. He knocks on the door.

  “I’m closing up for tonight,” he says. “You’ll have to leave. I need that key back.”

  The men’s room door opens and the gas station owner finds himself staring down the barrel of a 30-06. Sweeney motions for the man to come inside and he does.

  “Turn around,” Sweeney tells the owner as he closes the door.

  The owner does as he is told and Sweeney brings the dowel that’s attached to the men’s room key, down on the owner’s head. The man falls to the floor and Sweeney reaches into the man’s pocket and pulls out a ring of keys and exits the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He tosses the key and the dowel behind some trashcans that are sitting alongside the building. He takes his rifle and walks around to the front door of the gas station, unlocking it and quickly stepping inside.

  Sweeney leans his rifle against the wall and goes into the two-bay garage. Standing against one wall is the ten-foot stepladder he’d seen on several occasions. Sweeney rests his rifle against the office wall, grabs the stepladder and carries it to the front door and hurries around the back of the building where he leans it against the back wall. He hurries back inside and grabs the rifle and runs around to the ladder, stepping up slowly and holding onto the rifle as he ascends.

  Once on the roof, Sweeny crouches and makes his way to the front edge of the roof, lying flat with his rifle beside him. He lifts his head slightly and peers over the edge. Across the street, perhaps a hundred yards or less he can see the front door of Clancy’s Gym. Sweeney pulls the rifle to him and aims it across the street, sighting through the scope. This would be an easy shot for anyone, but he’s had practice. He can’t miss from here. He checks his watch. Just twenty more minutes. He lays the gun down and lowers his head, resting until the time is right.

  *****

  I followed Dan back to the precinct and signed the necessary complaint papers against the Dorseys. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders now that the ordeal was nearly over. I handed Dan the papers and he walked them over to Hannah’s desk.

  “See that these are processed right away, would you please?” Dan said to Hannah.

  “Right away,” Hannah said and got right to work on them.

  Dan motioned me over. “Matt,” he said, “I’ve been thinking about this whole Sweeney thing for a while and I thought we might have been forgetting something. I didn’t know what at first, but you know what? If Sweeney’s out for revenge, it occurred to me that me might also come after Sean down at Clancy’s Gym.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that angle,” I said. “You wanna get over there and have a look around?”

  “Come on,” Dan said. “You can ride with me.

  On the way to Clancy’s I turned to Dan and said, “Well, come on. Give.”

  “Huh?”

  “Before you left my office, you told me to remind you to tell me about Laverne,” I said. “Well?”

  “Oh yeah,” Dan said offhandedly. “Well, you know I’ve been seeing her for a while now and it’s starting to get serious.”

  “Don’t forget to send me an invitation,” I said, echoing what Dan had told me not so long ago when Amy and I started dating.

  “You wanna hear this or not?” Dan said.

  “Sorry,” I said. “Go on with your story.”

  “Anyway,” Dan said. “It’s getting serious and we’ve had a discussion about the M word.”

  “That’s great, Dan,” I said.

  “I suppose,” Dan said.

  “You’re not sure?” I said. “You know you don’t have to rush into these things. She’s not going anywhere, is she?”

  “That’s just it,” Dan said. “There is a rush. Hey, you and Amy didn’t waste any time getting married if I recall.”

  “I guess I can tell you now that it’s behind us, but we had to rush it because Amy was…” I stopped and looked at Dan. “Are you telling me that Laverne is…” I’d never seen Dan blush before.

  Dan nodded. “Yup, she’s late,” he said. “And she’s never been late before, ever.”

  “And how do you feel about all this?” I said.

  “How did you feel?” Dan said.

  “Well,” I said, “part of me was a little scared and the other part of me was exci
ted.”

  “That’s how I feel, too, Matt,” Dan said. “She comes from a strict background, so waiting is not an option at this point. I’m sure her relatives will be counting backwards once the baby comes and they’re gonna question anything short of nine months. I’d just as soon avoid all that scrutiny.”

  “So when were you guys planning on getting married?” I said.

  “We thought this weekend would be best,” Dan said. “And I want you and Amy to be there as our witnesses.”

  “You got it,” I said, smiling. “You old dog, you. Well, I’ll be damned.”

  Our conversation was cut short when Dan pulled up to the curb in front of Clancy’s Gym. We walked inside and found Sean Kelly just about ready to close up for the night. When he saw us coming his way, he stopped turning out lights and waved from across the room.

  “Matt,” Sean said when we approached. “Back so soon?” He looked over at Dan.

  “Sean,” I said, “this is Lieutenant Dan Hollister from the twelfth precinct.”

  “Dan, Sean Kelly,” I said to Dan.

  The two shook hands and then Sean looked at me. “Is there a problem here?” Sean said. “I’m not in trouble with the law, am I?”

  “Nothing like that,” Dan said. “No doubt you’ve heard about the three shootings we’ve had recently.”

  Sean nodded. “Yes, terrible,” he said.

  “We’re afraid the gunman might come after you,” I said. “It may be nothing, but it’s a possibility we have to consider. The killer is probably Myron Sweeney’s brother, Byron, and he’s out for revenge for what happened to Myron.”

  “What did I do?” Sean said, hunching his shoulders and spreading his hands.

  Dan spoke up. “Mr. Kelly, this Sweeney character is not stable at all and he may see you as the reason Myron didn’t get anything out of your program when he tried to beef up. I know it’s stupid, but sometimes that’s the way the criminal mind works. We’re just looking out for your safety.”

  “So what do I do now?” Sean said.

  “Just keep your eyes open and be aware of what’s going on around you,” I said.