Cooper By The Gross (All 144 Cooper Stories In One Volume)

by Bill Bernico

  “That’s one hell of a way to end a career,” Blake said, patting Dean on his shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to stick around for a while longer? I hate to lose a man as valuable as you, Lieutenant Hollister.”

  “I appreciate your confidence, Captain,” Dean said. “But it’s time to step down. I’m sure Sergeant Anderson can fill the position satisfactorily, if that’s who you had in mind.”

  “He is,” Blake said. “He’s a find man and a good cop, but he’s got a way to go to fill your shoes.” He looked down at his wristwatch. It was five-fifteen. “Well, Lieutenant, as much as I hate to see it end, your time is up and we don’t have any money in the budget for overtime.”

  “Captain,” Dean said. “I’m off the clock as far as the department is concerned, but I’d like to see this thing through to the end of today anyway.”

  Captain Blake nodded and smiled. “Take all the time you need, Lieutenant. My men are at your disposal. I have to be getting back to the precinct.” He saluted Dean, who saluted back, and then extended his hand. Dean shook it and nodded at Captain Blake. “Thank you, sir,” Dean said and watched as the captain walked back toward his car.

  The officers on the scene were all well aware that Dean was no longer their lieutenant, but they still treated him with the utmost respect and followed all of his orders. Evidence was bagged and tagged. Photos of the entire area were taken. The crime lab made plaster casts of the tire tracks left there. Dean pointed out to them where his own car had stopped and they took casts of only the marks forward of that area.

  By the time the last of the crime lab personnel and the police officers had left the area, Dean noted that it was just past six o’clock. He walked back up to his car and dismissed the officers watching the road and drove back to the precinct. It felt a bit strange walking through the halls of the twelfth, knowing that this was no longer his place of employment. It was the same place he’d come to for the past thirty-eight years and a flood of memories came back to him all at once.

  Dean rounded the corner and opened his office door, flipping on the light switch. He paused in the doorway and looked around, taking it all in. Before he could go around his desk and sit in his chair for one last time, Captain Blake appeared behind him.

  “Dean,” the captain said. “Could I see you in my office?” Captain Blake had never called him by his first name before. It had always been ‘Lieutenant Hollister’ or just ‘Lieutenant’.

  “Certainly, Captain,” Dean said, turning off his light, closing his office door and following Blake back to his office. Dean closed the door and sat across the desk from Captain Blake.

  It was twenty past seven and Dean was home, changing his clothes and waiting for Clay to pick him up for the movie they were planning to see. Dean’s wife, Helen stepped in front of Dean and fussed with his shirt lapels and collar, straightening them out a bit. She smoothed down a few hairs on his head that had become messed up when Dean slipped into his shirt.

  “You boys enjoy yourself,” she told her husband. “And don’t be too late. You have to be to work in the…” She stopped herself, realizing that would never be a problem for Dean again. “Never mind,” she said. “You just have a good time tonight.” She kissed Dean and smiled just as the doorbell rang. She turned away from Dean and walked to the front door.

  Clay stood out on the porch and Helen smiled when she saw him. She grabbed one of his arms and pulled him inside. “Come in, come in,” she told Clay. “My, it’s good to see you again, Clay. It’s been way too long between visits.”

  Clay bent over and kissed her cheek. “You’re looking good, Helen,” he said, holding her hands and stepping back to take in the whole picture. “You must be awfully proud of that husband of yours.”

  “I am,” Helen said. “Everybody is, and on his last day, last hour no less. From what I hear it’s just a matter of time before they’ll be able to identify the killer and bring him to justice.”

  Dean stepped in. “Come on, Helen,” he said. “Don’t exaggerate. I just happened to be there on a hunch, that’s all. The whole crew chipped in gathering evidence and whatnot. It wasn’t just me.”

  Clay checked his watch and tapped the crystal, making sure Dean could see his actions. “The movie,” he said to Dean.

  Dean kissed Helen again and headed for the door. “I won’t be late,” he said and left the house.

  As soon as the door closed, Helen hurried to the bedroom and slipped out of her house dress and into her evening wear. She’d had everything set aside in the closet and it took her just three minutes to get ready. She locked the house and hurried out to her car. It took her just ten minutes to get to the hall she’d rented for Dean’s retirement party. The hall was filled with policemen, friends, family and people whose lives Dean had touched in nearly forty years as a cop.

  “Why are we going this way?” Dean said, as Clay drove up a side street, away from the movie theater.

  “I didn’t want to tell you earlier,” Clay said, “but there’s one more guy coming with us tonight. I told him I’d swing by and pick him up. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Another guy?” Dean said. “Who is it and why couldn’t you tell me earlier?”

  “You don’t know him,” Clay said, “But I’m sure you two will hit it off right away. In fact he kind of reminds me of you in a way.”

  Clay pulled to a stop at the curb and got out, walking around to the Dean’s side of the car. He pulled Dean’s door open and said, “Come on. He might take a minute or two getting ready. Besides, I’d like you to meet him.”

  Dean rolled his eyes. “Can’t he just come out to the car?” he said to Clay.

  “Come on,” Clay said. “This’ll just take a minute, so try to put on your sociable face, will you?”

  Dean stepped up to the front door and twisted the knob.

  “What are you doing?” Dean said.

  “He told me he’d be getting ready and that we could just walk in and make ourselves at home.” Clay said, swinging the door open and reaching around for the light switch.

  Dean stepped in behind Clay and as soon as the lights came on, thirty or forty people all yelled, “Surprise” and began applauding.

  Dean’s face showed genuine surprise as the crowd of people rushed up to shake his hand. First to approach him was Helen, smiling broadly and hugging her husband. “Happy retirement,” she said, a single tear rolling down her face.

  “What’s all this?” Dean said, turning to Clay. “So we were never going to any movie? And there is no third guy coming along with us?”

  “That’s why they paid you the big bucks,” Clay said. “You always picked up on clues pretty fast.”

  Elliott and Gloria stepped up. Gloria hugged him and kissed his cheek. Elliott shook Dean’s hand and congratulated him on his retirement. “Dad tells me it looks he’s going to have a fishing partner.”

  “Really?” Dean said. “And who would that be?”

  “That would be you,” Clay said, handing Dean a wrapped present. “Go on, open it.”

  Dean unwrapped the present and opened the box to find a pair of rubber hip waders. He pulled them out of the box and held them up against his legs. He looked back at Clay and smiled. “Thanks, buddy,” he said.

  One by one, everyone in the room took a minute to congratulate Dean and wish him well. It was well after eight o’clock by the time he’d made the rounds and thanked everyone for showing up. The answer from everyone was almost identical. They all said they wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Dean finally got a chance to sit and catch his breath. Helen saw him and came over to sit next to him.

  “How long have you known about this?” he asked his wife.

  “A couple of weeks,” she said. “You have no idea how hard it was not to slip up and give it away.”

  Dean looked around the room. By now everyone else was milling around, talking with each other and laughing and drinking. Dean turned to Helen. “Come on,” he said, pulling her out the
front door and onto the porch. They sat on the two porch chairs and Dean leaned in toward Helen.

  “This is awkward,” he said, holding Helen’s hands in his.

  “What’s awkward?” Helen said. “Is there a problem?”

  “Well,” Dean said. “That depends on your definition of a problem. You see, before I left the precinct tonight, Captain Blake called me into his office. I thought he was just calling me in to say goodbye or give me some parting gift or whatever.”

  “But he wasn’t?” Helen said.

  “No,” Dean said, shaking his head and looking down at his feet. “He asked me to stay with the department for a while longer.”

  Helen’s face showed some surprise. “But I thought you were looking forward to your retirement, dear,” she said. “How long is he talking about?”

  “Well, you know this is my thirty-eighth year with the department,” Dean said. “And I know I could have opted out after twenty, but I’ve loved the job for so long and that’s why I kept putting it off. Anyway, the captain said that if I could just stay with it until I’d put in forty, well, my pension would be half again as much as I’d be getting now.”

  “But we don’t need the money that badly,” Helen said. “I thought we’d agreed to sell the house and take an apartment. We don’t need to live some lavish lifestyle. In fact I’d prefer a simpler life these days.”

  “Okay,” Dean said. “Here’s the bottom line. I wouldn’t have to put in a full two years. I started in July of ‘74 and would only have to go to July of ‘14 to get my forty-year pension. That’s only eighteen months away. I could do eighteen months standing on my head. Besides, it would eat at me for the rest of my life if I left before bringing in that couple’s killer. I’d never be able to let it rest.”

  Helen shook her head softly and then looked at her husband. “I don’t like it, but I know you and you’ll never be able to enjoy your retirement with that one big loose end. I guess I can wait another year and a half. I just want you to be happy.”

  “And look at it this way,” Dean said. “I’m only sixty-one now. I couldn’t collect my Social Security checks until I’m at least sixty-two anyway. And that won’t be until September of next year. Hell, by then I’ll only have ten months left with the force. It’ll be a piece of cake, you’ll see. The captain’s not even expecting me in for the rest of the weekend. I don’t have to be back in until Monday morning.”

  Helen sighed. “Okay,” she agreed, “but just so we’re in agreement, you will leave the day you’ve put in your forty, correct?”

  Dean smiled broadly. “Agreed,” he said and kissed Helen and then held her tightly in his arms. “Come on, let’s go join the party.”

  “Aren’t you going to tell everyone?” she said.

  “And spoil a perfectly good party?” he said, pulling her up and back into the rented hall.

  The rest of the night was perfect. By midnight most of the guests had gone home and now there were just three people left to say good night to. Clay, Elliott and Gloria were the last ones to leave.

  “Better get some rest, old man,” Clay said. “I know a sweet fishing spot that’s just aching to be fished tomorrow morning.”

  Dean waved him off. “Not tomorrow,” he said. “I plan on sleeping in for the first time in a long time. But I’ll certainly take a rain check, if you don’t mind.”

  “Sure,” Clay said. “You just enjoy your weekend. I’ll talk to you on Monday. Good night.”

  Dean shook Clay’s hand and thanked him for the surprise party. Gloria and Elliott each said good night and followed Clay out the door.

  Dean looked at Helen and sighed. “Well, the easy part is done,” he said. “The hard part will be explaining it all to these nice people and giving them back their generous gifts.”

  “I’m sure they’ll all understand,” Helen said. “Besides, this’ll give them all an excuse for another retirement party eighteen months from now. Come on, let’s go home.”

  Monday morning came around and Dean dressed in his blues again and drove to work. Over the weekend, Captain Blake had let everyone in the department know about Lieutenant’s Hollister decision to stay for another year and a half. A bulletin had been posted to this effect and almost everyone was happy about Dean’s decision. The only person not as happy was Sergeant Eric Anderson, who would have been in line for Dean’s job upon his retirement. But when he met Dean coming in to work that morning, he congratulated him just the same.

  “I know how much you were looking forward to taking over,” Dean said, “but this is just how things worked out. I’m sure in another year and a half, you’ll still be able to step in as lieutenant and I’m also sure you’ll do a great job.”

  “Thanks you, sir,” Anderson said. “I’ll look forward to that day, and welcome back.”

  “Sergeant,” Dean said, “Would you call a special roll call with the morning shift? I’d like to speak to the men before they head out on their assignments today.”

  “Right away, sir,” Anderson said and walked away.

  A few minutes later Dean stood before the morning shift in the squad room. As soon as the buzz quieted down, Dean spoke up. “Men,” he began, “as most of you are already aware, I’ve postponed my retirement until July of next year, so I’d like to make sure that these next eighteen months will be productive. First and foremost on my agenda is finding the killer of that couple from the ravine area near Burbank. I want you all to lean hard on your informants and find out what you can. Let’s leave no stone unturned and follow up on any lead you may get. That’s all men, and I just want to thank all of you for your dedicated service under me. Dismissed.”

  The room cleared out and the officers all walked to their squad cars with their assigned partners. Dean walked back to his office and phoned Elliott Cooper’s office. Gloria picked up the phone.

  “Cooper Investigations,” she said. “Gloria speaking.”

  “Good morning, Gloria,” Dean said. “It’s Dean. Could I speak to Elliott, please?”

  “So how are you enjoying your retirement so far?” Gloria said.

  “So far?” Dean said. “It’s not too much different than before. Is Elliott there?”

  “Sure,” Gloria said. “Hold on.” She put Dean on hold and stepped over to the office bathroom door and rapped on it. “Elliott, Dean’s on the phone for you.”

  “Tell him I’ll call him right back,” Elliott said.

  Gloria thought she heard the sound of magazine pages being flipped. She rolled her eyes and returned to her desk and picked up the phone. “He’ll have to call you right back, Dean,” Gloria said. “He’s indisposed at the moment.”

  “With a magazine, no doubt,” Dean said. “No hurry. Just have him call me when he’s finished.”

  “Will do, Dean,” Gloria said and hung up.

  A few minutes later the toilet flushed and the bathroom door opened. Elliott walked over to the sink that should have been installed inside the bathroom, but was instead up against one of the walls next to his desk. Elliott finished washing his hands and drying them and then turned to Gloria.

  “Was he calling from home?” Elliott asked.

  “I guess he was,” Gloria said. “I didn’t ask him, but where else could he be calling from?”

  Elliott picked up his phone, pressed the history button on his caller I.D. and noted that the last call had come six minutes ago from Dean’s old office number.

  “Hmmmp,” he said, looking at the number.

  “What is it?” Gloria said.

  “Looks like he was calling from his old office number,” Elliott said. “Maybe he stopped in to clear out his desk or something.”

  Elliott dialed the number and a familiar voice identified himself as Lieutenant Hollister. “Hard habit to break, isn’t it?” Elliott said.

  “What’s that?” Dean said,

  “Still answering the phone as Lieutenant Hollister,” Elliott said. “I guess it just slipped out.”

  “Actua
lly it didn’t,” Dean said. “I’m back on the job.”

  “What?” Elliott said. “How’d that happen?”

  “It’s a long story,” Dean said. “We can talk about it some other time, but for now I’d like to find out if you and Gloria are available for some real work. And this would be on the clock. That is, unless you’re both too busy to take on any more work at the moment.”

  “Not at all,” Elliott said. “We’re at your disposal. What do you need?”

  “Can both of you meet me in my office in say, fifteen minutes?” Dean said.

  “That’s us you hear knocking now,” Elliott said and hung up. He stood and turned to Gloria. “Let’s go, kid. We’re on a case. I’ll explain in the car.”

  The two of them drove to the twelfth precinct, parked in the parking lot and hurried down the hall to place they knew very well by now—Lieutenant Dean Hollister’s office. Elliott rapped on the door and heard Dean invite them inside. They booth stood there, waiting for Dean’s explanation.

  “Please, have a seat,” Dean said and then proceeded to fill them both in on the latest developments concerning his retirement plans.

  “Well, there’s a first,” Elliott said. “I’ve never heard of anyone un-retiring before. Oh, sure, you hear about old guys taking jobs as bag boys at the supermarket when they find themselves with too much free time on their hands. But I don’t know anyone who went right back to the job they just retired from.”

  “I think it’s great,” Gloria said. “Besides, Dean is the only one who’ll really know when he’s ready to pull the plug for good.”

  “Thank you for those words of support, Gloria,” Dean said. “Suppose we move on to the reason I called you both in this morning? As you may have heard by now, we found the owner of that vehicle from the ravine. He and his wife were found in a shallow grave not far from there. The crime lab has identified the make and model of the tires on the car that apparently drove the couple to their final destination. I have every available man working on leads for that case. What I’d like the two of you to work on is a similar case that Clay original had worked on even before the two of you were born.”