Cooper By The Gross (All 144 Cooper Stories In One Volume)

by Bill Bernico

  “Well,” I said, “this’ll be the real test.” I started the copter’s bladed spinning, held it out my window and let it go. I took it up to fifty feet, above any electrical wires that crossed some of the streets. I adjusted joystick and the copter banked to the north. Below and a little ahead of the copter I could see Angie’s red Chevrolet continuing on Normandie. When our light turned green, Dad turned left and drove north on Normandie. We were probably two or three blocks behind Angie’s Chevy, but I know exactly where she was and was able to instruct Dad, if the time came to make another turn.

  From the tiny monitor screen, I could see the red Chevy. She had turned east again on Franklin. A few moments later I told Dad to turn right. Now there was only one car between our van and Angie’s red Chevy, but she was still a block and a half ahead of us. Angie turned north again on Alexandria Avenue. I knew from the information Greg had given me that this was nowhere near Angie’s house. She lived in Glendale a few blocks from Colorado Boulevard. This could be a wild goose chase, or Angie could be leading us right to her rendezvous point with the other man that Greg had been worried about.

  Alexandria Avenue ended in a T at Ambrose Avenue. Angie turned left and pulled up to the curb. I maneuvered the copter around and brought it back to the van. It flew down right next to my open window and I stuck my right arm out and grabbed it by the base, bringing it back inside the van.

  I turned to Dad. “And that,” I said, “is how it’s done in the twenty-first century.” I held onto the copter and pointed the camera on it toward the house. I had managed to capture Angie’s image on the monitor. I told Dad to drive slowly past the house where Angie had parked her Chevy. She got out and walked up an inclined stairway to a ranch style house that sat probably ten feet about street level. She walked up to the front door, knocked and was greeted by an athletic type guy in a tight tee shirt and jeans. She wasn’t even all the way into the house when the guy grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him kissing her long and hard right there in the doorway. He pulled her inside and closed the door.

  I turned off the camera, laid the copter down on the floor behind my seat showed Dad the little monitor. I pressed the play button on the unit and held the monitor so Dad could see the images. After Angie and the guy in the tee shirt closed the door, I pulled the monitor away, shut it down and turned to Dad. “Looks like Greg’s going to want that ring back,” I said. “It seems Angie has found greener pastures. Let’s go.”

  Dad snaked his way back down the side streets and onto Hollywood Boulevard. I told him to drive back to the office. “You remember how to get there?” I said.

  Dad just gave me a sideways glance and rolled his eyes. When we got back to the office, I brought the monitor unit with me to my desk, flipped open the USB connecter and plugged it into my laptop computer. I loaded the helicopter footage onto my hard drive and called Greg Murdock. He told me he could be at the office in thirty minute or less.

  I was able to complete his tail job with a day to spare before I had to start on the Powell Industries case. While I waited for Greg to show up I turned to Dad and said, “Speaking of helping out around here until Gloria’s back,” I said. “I have another case I’ll be starting on tomorrow that involves installing a dozen of those little spy cameras in the Powell factory. How’d you like to help me with that, too?”

  Dad face sported a big grin. “Say no more,” he said. “I’m in. What time are you going over there?”

  “I figured seven or seven-thirty should do it,” I told him.

  “Won’t they be closed by then?” Dad said.

  “That’s the whole point,” I said. “I have to wait until they close at five-thirty and give everyone there a chance to clear out. There’s bound to be a few brown-nose stragglers who stick around after hours to rack up points, so seven-thirty should be a safe bet for us.”

  I told Dad about Carlton’s Powell’s concerns about his own general manager and that he suspected the thefts to be an inside job. “That’s why we’re installing a dozen little cameras all over the place tomorrow night. If anyone’s getting in late at night to take things, we’ll be able to capture them on the monitors.”

  “And you think they’ll be coming in Thursday night to take the stuff?” Dad said.

  “Probably not,” I said. “If anything, they’ll come in on Friday or Saturday, knowing that any theft wouldn’t be noticed until Monday at least. And even then, they may not strike this weekend at all. Powell has left it open ended for me. I can stay set up in the factory for as long as it takes.”

  “And he’s okay with paying your daily rate?” Dad said.

  When I told him what Powell netted between his six factories each year, he whistled. “Better milk this cash cow while you can,” he said. What you charge him probably wouldn’t even cover his laundry bill.”

  “I know, Dad,” I said. “I thought about that, but decided to play square with him. It could mean future jobs in his other factories as well; if this one gets the results he’s looking for.”

  “You have a point there, son,” Dad said. “I could use a trip to those other five cities.”

  “We’ll see,” I said. “Let’s first see what we can do with this branch.”

  A short time later Greg Murdock walked into the office and looked at Dad. Greg’s eyebrows furrowed when he didn’t recognize Dad. He turned and saw me, his face softened and he let out a sigh. “So,” he said hesitantly, “what did you find out about Angie?”

  I gestured toward my client’s chair and turned my laptop screen toward Greg. “Suppose you watch the video first,” I said. “Then we can talk about it.”

  I started the video and Greg watched intently, his eyes glued on the laptop’s screen. I had just released the mini copter into the air above the traffic and it hovered over the cars. A moment later he pointed at the screen. “That looks like Angie’s car,” he said.

  “It is,” I told him. “I followed her out of the bank parking lot and didn’t start the copter cam until she lost us at a red light. That’s where this video begins. Keep watching.”

  Greg followed Angie’s car through the traffic and up the narrow, winding street toward Ambrose Avenue. When Angie parked her Chevy and got out, Greg watched as she climbed the cement steps to the ranch house. His eyes got wider when the door opened and he could see for himself that his fiancé was now wrapped up in some other guy’s arms. When he saw the guy kiss Angie, he turned away from the screen.

  “I’ve seen enough,” he said. “I can’t watch any more of this.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing,” I said. “Because that’s where I turned off the video camera.” I transferred the short video to a small 256K jump drive and handed it to Greg. I’d just add the cost of the jump drive to his bill. Hell, I’d bought a dozen of them for three dollars each, so I could afford to hand them out to my clients. “There’s the evidence you’ll need,” I said. “I’m sure if it comes down to having to show this to her, she’ll give you back the ring without an argument. If she doesn’t, well, then you can always use the video as evidence if you have to take her to court to recover the ring. Either way, at least now you know where you stand.”

  Greg turned his head away from me and wiped his eyes. He took a deep breath and turned back toward me. “So what do I owe you, Mr. Cooper?”

  “Give me a minute,” I said, and wrote out an itemized bill and handed it to him. He looked it over and didn’t question anything about it. Greg opened his wallet and pulled out two one hundred dollar bills and handed them to me. He had some change coming, but held up a hand when I offered it.

  “Keep it,” Greg said. “You’ve more than earned it.” He took my bill, folded it twice, slipped it into his pocket and headed for the door. Before he left, he turned to me and said, “Women. They’re enough to make a straight guy like me turn gay.” He thought for a second and then added, “Skip that last part. I can’t imagine ever getting that fed up with the opposite sex.”

  He left withou
t further comment and when I felt he was out of earshot, I turned to Dad and we both broke out in laughter. “Thanks, Dad,” I said and handed him one of the hundred dollar bills. “That was actually kind of fun, wasn’t it?”

  Dad looked down at the hundred dollar bill. “All this just for driving you around?” he said.

  “It would have been no game without you,” I said. “Can you imagine the pileup on Hollywood Boulevard if I was driving and trying to maneuver the helicopter at the same time? Besides, it was nice to be able to work with you again.”

  “Yes,” Dad said. “That was fun, wasn’t it? So, about tomorrow, you want me in the office for the whole day, or just after seven to help you install the mini cams?”

  “How about you come by here around five?” I said. “We can spend a little time going over the installation process. We should be able to get everything into place and get back out of there in a little more than an hour, now that you’re going to be there to help.”

  “Well, then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Dad said and walked out of the office.

  I kept my eye on the door and tilted my wrist back, counting off the seconds. It only took twenty-eight seconds for Dad to stick his head back in the door. He saw me looking at my watch. “Not even half a minute,” I said, “for you to remember that you rode here with me. That’s not a bad time. Wait a minute, let me put a few things away and I’ll drive you home.”

  Dad came by the office the next day shortly after four-thirty. He was dressed in black slacks, a black mock turtleneck shirt and wore a black stocking cap on his head.

  “What kind of job do you think this is?” I said. “We’re not burglarizing the place. The owner gave me the keys, remember? Come on, at least lose the hat.”

  Dad pulled the hat off his head, looked at it, looked at me and laid it on Gloria’s desk. “So, you ready to go?” Dad said.

  I checked my wristwatch and looked at Dad. “It’s only four-thirty,” I said. “I told you yesterday to meet here at five. We’re not even going into the plant until seven-thirty.”

  “I hate to be late for anything,” Dad said.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I remember that about you. But you’re just going to have to sit here until I finish my reports from last week. Relax; we’ll get there in plenty of time.”

  I finished my paperwork while Dad looked out the window down onto Hollywood Boulevard. He checked his hair in the mirror above the sink, sat behind Gloria’s desk for all of twenty seconds and then got up and started pacing around the office. After I’d filed the last of my overdue reports, I closed the file cabinet and pulled one of the mini cam units out of my desk and turned to Dad.

  “All right,” I said. “Let’s take a closer look at the surveillance unit.” I pointed to a small antenna that stuck up from the camera. “Make sure you have this antenna sticking straight up when you’re done mounting the camera. The monitor unit has a similar antenna that it uses to communicate with the camera. Situate the camera and check the image it’s sending out on the monitor. Once you have it where you want it, switch that particular monitor to your other pocket so you don’t get them mixed up. They’re all numbered, but you might not be able to see that in the limited light we’re going to have.”

  Dad took the camera and studied it closely. He pointed the antenna straight up and looked to me for approval.

  “Perfect,” I said. “And you want to make sure there is nothing obscuring the lens once it’s in place, but you also want to make sure it’s not obvious enough for anyone to notice it. Now, Mr. Powell gave me this copy of the floor plan layout for the factory. This is our copy to keep so it doesn’t matter if I cut it up and give you half. We’ll know exactly where we are at any given time. He made some little red marks on the paper to indicate about where the mini cams would work to best advantage. We come in through the office entrance, past all the offices and into the plant itself. Once we get inside the plant, you take your six cameras and find a good spot somewhere near the red dot area. When you have them all mounted, we’ll meet back at the main door leading back into the offices.”

  “Oh, that reminds me,” Dad said, reaching into his pants pockets and producing two small black boxes. He handed one to me and said, “I picked these up last night at that electronics store over on Pico. They’re miniature walkie-talkies. That way we can stay in touch when we split up inside the plant.”

  I looked over the unit and then back at Dad. “Great idea,” I said. “I gotta get me a pair of these for me and Gloria.”

  “Don’t bother,” Dad said, handing me the receipt. “I bought these for you. They were only thirty bucks plus tax and I had that hundred dollar bill burning a hole in my pocket yesterday. They’re my gift to you.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” I said. “Thanks a lot. These’ll come in handy.”

  Dad turned on his walkie-talkie and said, “Can you hear me?”

  “Perfectly,” I said. “And I don’t even have mine turned on yet.”

  “Smart ass,” Dad said.

  I checked my watch again. It was just five-fifteen. I looked at Dad again and said, “Well, that didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. We still have a couple of hours to kill. You want to get something to eat?”

  “Sure,” Dad said. “Tell you what, my treat. I still have more than sixty dollars left from yesterday.”

  “Did it ever occur to you to save some of it for later?” I said. “You don’t have to spend it all right away.”

  “I won’t be taking it with me,” Dad said. “What good is it if I can’t spend it? It’s just colored paper until you use it.”

  “All right,” I said. “But after this job is done and I pay you for your part in it, try to put some of it in the bank for a rainy day, okay?”

  “Sure,” Dad said, almost dismissing the whole notion. “Squeat.”

  “Huh?” I said.

  “Squeat,” Dad repeated. “Let’s go eat—squeat.”

  “Where did you pick up that little gem?” I said.

  “I was standing in line at the checkout when I bought the walkie-talkies.” Dad said. “Two guys in line ahead of me were talking and I heard one of them say to the other, ‘Jeat?’ The second guy shook his head and the first guy said, ‘Squeat’. Get it? Did you eat—Jeat? Let’s go eat—Squeat. I thought that was clever as all hell and I even wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it.”

  “I’d lose that piece of paper if I were you,” I said.

  “Come on,” Dad said. “You like it and you know it, so just admit it. I’ll bet you can’t wait to use it on Gloria next time your stomach rumbles.”

  With all this free time on his hands lately, Dad was turning into one of those guys that you try to avoid at parties. We sat there in the booth at the coffee shop and finished our dinner. Dad pulled his wallet out and laid down the tip.

  “At least let me get the tip,” I said.

  “Forget it,” Dad said, “my treat.” He paid the bill at the counter and we both left the coffee shop and walked back to my van. I slid behind the wheel and dad slid in beside me. I checked my watch again. It was nearly seven o’clock.

  “I guess we can drive over there now,” I said. “It’ll take us half an hour to get down to Fifteenth Street and South Alameda in all this traffic.”

  I pulled away from the curb and headed south on Highland Avenue. It was just seven-thirty when I parked the van half a block from the office entrance of Powell Industries. Dad and I casually walked down the sidewalk and up to the front door of the factory offices, as if we belonged there. I stuck Powell’s key in the door and turned it. The door opened and the two of us stepped inside. I locked it behind us and hurried over to the front reception desk, pulling Powell’s information slip out as I walked. The alarm pad was right where Powell had said it would be. I punched in the six-digit code and the flashing red light changed to a steady green light.

  “And that’s that,” I told Dad. “We can go anywhere we want inside her now without setting o
ff any alarms.” I looked down at the floor plan and pointed to a hallway on my right. “The plant is down this hall,” I told Dad.

  At the end of the hall I encountered a large double door that had no lock on it. I swung it open and looked into the hundred thousand square foot facility. I stopped and looked again at the floor plan to get my bearings. Dad had his half of the floor plan in his hands, trying to figure out where to go. I looked over his shoulder and then pointed down an aisle. “That way,” I said. “I’ll meet you back here in an hour. If you run into any problems, buzz me on this.” I held up my walkie-talkie.

  “Got it,” Dad said, and headed off down the aisle.

  I found the first red dot on my part of the floor plan and looked around for a suitable place to hide the first camera. I noticed a two-place wall plug twelve feet above the floor. A plug came out of one of the places and led up to a wall clock. Perfect, I thought. I pulled a couple of boxes over to the wall, stepped up onto them and placed my first camera on top of the wall plug. I aimed it down toward the factory area and checked the placement in the mini monitor. With a little tweaking, I got it situated exactly where it would do the most good and then stepped down off the boxes, putting them back where I’d found them.

  The next red dot on my paper led me to an area where boxes of materials had been stacked. Some of the boxes were already opened and the small gauges inside looked like the ones that were already set out on the work tables. That was just too much temptation for any would-be thief. I set my second camera on top of a shelving unit. There was nothing else up there. Other parts had been stored below that level, but the camera was all alone on top.

  I was able to get all six of my units installed and adjusted in just fifty minutes. All of them had been placed where no one would ever notice them and they provided coverage over all of the areas Powell had indicated on the floor plan. I grabbed the walkie-talkie and pressed the talk button.

  “Dad, are you there?” I said and released the button.