Toxic (Desired Affliction Book 1)

by Harms,C. A.

  “What are you dressed as?” she asked.

  “Your man,” I said proudly and she looked slightly confused.

  I let go of her and stepped back so I could turn my back to her. Within seconds her laughter filled the area as well as Megan’s.

  Both Radley and I came up with an idea. We hated to dress up, but figured we had to do something. So we each had a shirt made up.

  Mine was black, his red, and on the front across our chests they said Taken. On the back mine said Property of Lexi Warren, so back the fuck off, ladies.

  Of course Radley’s had Megan’s name instead.

  Hey—it was as close as I was getting to a costume.

  “I like it,” Lex said as I stepped in closer once again.

  “Me too,” I assured her.

  And that shirt set the tone for our night.

  Lex was happy, without alcohol. In fact she only had one drink all night before she drank water instead.

  She didn’t need that shit to enjoy herself, not tonight.

  We played darts, danced, and at the end of the night I fell asleep with my girl tucked in securely at my side. She was happy, I was happy,

  And I knew in that moment that Lexi had the ability to break me if she chose to. She was quickly becoming my form of kryptonite.

  Chapter 24

  Lexi

  Had you asked me six months ago if I thought I’d ever feel whole again, I would have laughed.

  But if you asked me now, I’d say I couldn’t remember what it felt like to be empty.

  Kole had consumed me.

  He had found a way to crawl inside my broken heart and began to heal those dark places.

  I’d never felt so alive.

  I needed him. I found myself wanting to share everything I could with him, both now and from the past. He had given me the security to know that whatever it was I had to say, he would still be there right where I needed him.

  His patience was astounding, his gentle behavior mesmerizing, and the way he looked at me made me feel untouched and beautiful.

  Spending the night at his side was something we did most nights. Whether it was his place or my dorm room, we often ended our nights tucked side by side, my head resting against his chest as he held me close.

  Just like we were now. Only I couldn’t sleep.

  The gentle brush of his fingertips along my side was too distracting. I think he thought I had long ago given in to exhaustion and fallen asleep, but I was completely alert.

  My mind was conjuring up entirely too many thoughts. Some I wasn’t sure I should be having but knew I was ready for.

  “You awake?” I jumped in surprise at the sound of his voice and he chuckled. “Deep in thought?”

  I felt my cheeks heat up but knew he couldn’t see them because I had my head tilted down. If only he knew the thoughts I was having, I was sure he would not be laughing.

  “I’m awake,” I said, waiting a few seconds before turning my neck just enough to look at him. “Not really that tired.”

  “No?” he questioned.

  I shook my head in response.

  Kole moved his body and gently maneuvered my head from his chest, to the pillow at his side. He then propped his body up next to me and continued to run his fingers over my tattoo on my side.

  “I’ve never asked you about this,” he whispered his eyes focused on that part of me. “The verse, is it in reference to the baby you lost?”

  I averted my eyes to his hand and he stopped his movements, right over the word Painful. I felt a burning sensation in my chest as I nodded my head. “Yeah, and the blossoms are in reference to a time before everything went to hell.”

  He slowly lifted my shirt to expose the remaining part and once again ran his fingertips over the flowers etched across my skin.

  He didn’t speak but stared down at the art.

  His sudden movements caused me to take my eyes off his hand and watch as he positioned his body to where he could lean over and press his lips to my waist. All along the words that I chose to brand myself with.

  The gesture made it harder to hold back as emotions built inside of me.

  I placed my outstretched hand against his cheek and he tilted his head to look up at me. “Why are you so good to me?” I asked. I truly wanted to know how he could be so amazing when every other guy I’d met had been the worst versions of themselves.

  “Because you deserve it,” he said, as if I should already know his reasons. “You make me a better person, Lex. You may not know it, but I needed you just as much as you needed me. Maybe even more.”

  I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I was so glad I had found him again.

  He was right; I did need him. But the part about him needing me more I couldn’t agree with. I felt like without Kole, I may have lost the ability to hold myself above water. He kept me from drowning.

  He moved up my body, and hovered over me, his lips only inches from mine. “Thank you for taking a chance on me,” he whispered.

  “Thank you for saving me,” I replied, and instantly saw something change in his expression. I’m not sure what it was, acceptance maybe, lust, I’m not sure.

  But it was definitely a change.

  I reached out and circled my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him to me as our lips met in a sweet kiss that quickly turned into more.

  And I was powerless to stop it.

  I didn’t want to stop it, not this time.

  I felt his tongue piercing flip against my tongue and I think I whimpered. I was learning to love that piercing. It was erotic the way he used it to tease me. That little piece of metal made it even harder to resist him.

  The way he wrapped me in his arms, while continuing to kiss me, made me feel like nothing in this world could hurt me as long as I was right there with him.

  Reaching over his shoulder I began gathering his shirt and pulling it up over his head. There was absolutely no hesitation in his movements as he pulled back from our kiss to help me remove his shirt.

  I had spent months trying to chase away my demons with alcohol and meaningless hook ups, just trying to feel human again. Had I known just a kiss from Kole would spark life back into me, I would have skipped right over those dark moments of my life and found him sooner.

  He was the man who would heal me, I just knew it. He was here to save me.

  I arched my neck as he began to kiss along its side, giving him complete access to my body. I wanted nothing more than for him to consume me.

  The touch of his fingers against my stomach as he began to lift my shirt higher sent excited chills through me.

  When he noticed me shiver, he paused for a moment as if to weigh my reaction. It was good, it was all so good.

  The last thing I wanted was for him to stop.

  “Don’t stop,” I told him and he continued to stare at me while he slipped his hand beneath my shirt and began lifting it up and over my head.

  The desire in his eyes was only making my own harder to control.

  I wanted him.

  I hadn’t remembered ever in my life wanting anything more.

  So without a second thought I reached between us and began to unbuckle his jeans. He used his arms as leverage as he pushed up giving me better access. Both of us watched the movement of my hands and nothing else.

  His deep intake of breath when I reached inside his jeans and wrapped my hand around his hardness made the excitement grow. Looking up into his eyes, I became mesmerized by the look on his face when I started to stroke him.

  “Fuck…Lex!” he moaned my name as he closed his eyes tightly.

  It was empowering to know my touch did this to him.

  I let my gaze fall back to the space between us as I watched his hips move ever so slightly, thrusting to move with the motions of my hand.

  I imagined those same movements with his body hovering over mine and him moving inside me.

  “Lie back and relax, Lex. I want to taste you,” Kole said,
his voice husky and needy.

  If it was possible to come from a man’s voice and words alone I would have done it right then. Kole and his mouth, his tongue with that sexy piercing—oh yeah, I wanted this.

  I released my hold on him as he moved down my body, working my jeans free on the way. He paused for a moment just looking down at me in my bra and panties, and sly smile pulling at his lips.

  “I’m a very lucky man,” he stated, trailing his finger over my thigh. “You are gorgeous, baby.”

  And he made me feel that way.

  The way he looked at me, not just in this moment but every time. He made me feel like I was the only person he saw.

  Kole took his time removing my remaining clothing, and I watched in awe. He treated me as if I was a gift.

  Gentle touches, kisses and those seconds that he would pause to look me over in between.

  My heart raced with excitement as he began to lower himself between my parted legs and kissed along my inner thigh.

  In no time at all I was lost to everything prior to that moment. He devoured me, leaving me bucking and begging for more. Each kiss, every flick of his tongue only made me lose my mind even more. That piercing of his mixed with his tongue was wicked.

  “Oh yes,” I moaned and he continued the teasing. He repeated his movements over and over until I felt the pressure build and I grabbed the sides of his head, holding him in place.

  “Don’t stop,” I begged. “Oh my god.”

  And he didn’t.

  In fact, he applied more pressure and within seconds I ignited. I may have screamed out his name as I was thrown over the edge and I exploded with extreme pleasure from the most intense orgasm ripping through me. He continued to slowly run his tongue over my swollen wetness, dragging it out until I couldn’t take any more.

  I hadn’t even noticed he moved until I opened my eyes and found him hovering above me. I was so lost as my body continued to shiver and I attempted to bring myself down from what felt like my version of heaven.

  He was smiling, knowingly.

  There was no way I could hide the pleased feelings rolling around inside me. And we had just started.

  I found myself giddy with excitement to make him feel the same type of pleasure he’d just showed me.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  He knew I was more than okay, but he was also loving the fact that he had left me in a state of bliss, I could see it in his eyes.

  “I’m good,” I assured him.

  “You are more than good, babe.” He licked his lip and the meaning of his words hit me in that moment. “You’re sweet and addicting.”

  Had I not been so aroused and ready for more I may have blushed at his words.

  He reached across the bed and dug through his nightstand at the side. Within seconds he produced a condom and again my heart began to race.

  Lifting the package up to his lips he bit the edge and tore it open, squeezing to push the latex to the opening.

  I watched, mesmerized as he sat up and began to roll it over his cock.

  My mouth watered with anticipation.

  “You sure you’re ready for this?” Kole asked and I nodded my head without hesitation.

  He seemed pleased I answered him so quickly.

  Positioning himself between my thighs he began to kiss me slowly. I could feel him resting against my thigh and I was just about to beg him for more but it was as if he could read my mind.

  Reaching between us he gripped his hardness and I suddenly felt him at my entrance, slowly and very gently entering me.

  The feeling was amazing. I wanted to remember every single minute of this—every sensation. I had so many feelings rushing through me as he reached the point where he could go no further. I heard a low moan rumble deep within his chest.

  “Lexi,” he whispered, and didn’t need to say anything more because I could feel it too. It was so much more than just sex.

  There was a connection between us that felt so much deeper than that.

  Kole slowly began to pull out before thrusting back inside of me, taking a slow, easy pace.

  He wasn’t just having sex; he was loving me.

  For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like for a man to make love to a woman.

  My heart was aching with what I felt for him in that moment.

  There was no doubt in my mind that I was falling hard for Kole.

  Chapter 25

  Kole

  Things with Lexi were changing.

  She was happy more often than not and that smile of hers lit up my day.

  I could get her to laugh so easily and that sound, oh that sound was beautiful.

  She was so comfortable around me and our time together just felt natural, and peaceful.

  I’d brought up the day she sang in Radley’s jeep and at first she became embarrassed, but I had no idea why. The girl could sing.

  I spent days trying to convince her to sing for me but she always found a way out of it.

  But today I refused to let it go.

  After a little sulking, followed by about ten minutes of evil stares she gave in.

  I was shocked when she reached under her bed and slid out a guitar case. It was just another part of her she was giving me. I truly had no idea she could play.

  “You can’t laugh.” She narrowed her eyes, daring me to argue. “Even if you hate it and it hurts your ears, just lie, smile, and pretend it is the most amazing thing you’ve ever heard!” She really was so fucking cute. “Got it?”

  I tried not to laugh.

  “Well, I’m not going to hate it. I know what you sounds like sweetheart, so I don’t have to lie.” I leaned over and stole a kiss from her. “Sing for me, Lex,” I whispered before getting comfortable and waiting for her to settle.

  She took in a deep breath, before bowing her head and bringing her hand up to rest against the strings of the guitar.

  I felt like my heart was in my throat when she began to play. The moment the words began to leave her lips, my throat tightened.

  She was amazing.

  I already knew she had that kind of voice that made you feel shit when she sang the words. But this was unreal.

  She was showing me yet another piece of the girl she thought was lost and I was so thankful.

  My heart literally fucking ached.

  When the song ended she didn’t look up.

  Maybe she was embarrassed or worried I didn’t like it, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.

  I reached for her guitar and as I pulled it from her grasp her gaze met mine. Placing it on the floor at my side, I turned back to face her and without hesitation I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.

  “That was beautiful, Lexi,” I told her, pulling back and resting my forehead to hers. “You’re amazing.”

  She placed her hands at the back of my neck and pulled me in closer, bringing her lips to mine once again, seeking what I was more than willing to give her.

  I stood and moved toward her, crawling over her body as I hovered above her on her bed.

  It took no time at all to appreciate the woman below me, before I covered her body with mine.

  She felt so small against me, but she felt right.

  I knew she trusted me completely and she should because protecting her was all I wanted. I knew she felt safe.

  There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I’d become so lost in Lex that I knew I had fallen for her.

  When I felt her hands slide up the back of my shirt I let out a moan. Lexi’s hands were so delicate and she could undo me every time with the smallest touch.

  Just when things started to heat up, we heard keys rattling just before the door opened, and we both groaned in disappointment.

  “Okay, you two can stop dry humping each other. I’m home now,” Megan complained as she dropped her bag to the floor and flopped onto her bed.

  I looked back toward Lexi, still safely tucked beneath me and gave her one more kiss before climbin
g off her and trying to not be too obvious as I adjusted myself.

  “Thanks for the cock block, Megan,” I complained.

  Both the girls laughed and I just hung my head, trying to force the blood that had rushed to one area of my body to recirculate back to places that needed it most.

  “I’m gonna take off, baby. I’ll see ya later.” I said to Lexi as I grabbed my sweatshirt and held it over my still painfully hard erection.

  She pouted a little, but stood to give me one more kiss before I left them alone.

  ***

  “Come home with me,” I whispered against Lexi’s ear.

  Her naked body was curled against mine, her back to my front as we lay in my bed beneath the covers.

  “What?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder.

  “Thanksgiving,” I said. “You should come home with me.”

  I think I already knew she wouldn’t want to but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I couldn’t help the disappointment I felt when she said shook her head and whispered “No” before turning her head away from me.

  I’d already gotten word that Matt wasn’t coming home for this holiday due to his schedule. It was a really good thing because I knew the next time I saw him I wouldn’t be able to control my anger. I knew I would have to beat the shit out of the fucking punk.

  There was no way I couldn’t defend Lexi.

  Guess I had hoped by some miracle she would want to come and I wouldn’t have to leave her.

  But knowing that Megan wouldn’t be going home to her parents gave me a small ray of relief. At least they would have each other. It turned out Megan’s mom and dad were going to be gone on a cruise, so she too had no one to go home to.

  “I wish you would change your mind,” I confessed as I wrapped my arms around her a little tighter and pulled her back against me.

  “Maybe next time,” she whispered and I knew she was just saying that to get me to drop it.

  So I did.

  We lay there for a few minutes in silence before she began to get up.

  “Where are you going?” I asked still holding on to her.