by Taryn Plendl
She wrapped one hand around the bottle and used her nifty ring to pop the top before taking a long pull. I groaned, but if she heard me, she didn’t react.
Random conversation resumed as I studied the girl who all but consumed me.
“Let’s dance.” Mira stood and pulled Shiloh to the dance floor just feet from the table.
Silas met my eyes and cocked an eyebrow. I shook my head and kept drinking. Teetering on the edge of handing over my man card for pining after her, I wasn’t about to run out there. Nope. I wasn’t going out there.
Chapter 12
Shiloh
Something special about music spoke to my soul like nothing else. The vibrations ran through me like smooth silk, starting softly in my core and stretching out to a sort of liquid energy all the way to my fingers and toes.
Dancing opened my world to a whole new freedom. My body moved without outside influence. There was no urge to mimic someone else’s movements. There was no worry if I looked silly. It was incredible, like a shot of caffeine flowing through my veins, causing my boots to stomp. Every so often, Mira’s touch let me know she was still with me. Her carefree laugh filled my ears. For me, it was impossible not to smile.
Song after song, my hips swayed, until I was winded but full of joy. It was the first time today I’d felt happy, and knowing it wouldn’t last, I just went with it.
“I’m gonna get some water. You coming?” Mira’s voice was faint over the music.
“Nope. This girl has some dancing to finish. Where’s the table from here?” Mira took my hand and spun us to face the band so I could orient myself.
“The table is about twenty feet to your right. We’re at the edge of the dance floor.”
“Got it. Stop me before I wander into traffic if I miss it,” I joked. The soft brush of her lips on my cheek made my mouth curl in a smile before she left me to my refreshing escape.
Less than ten seconds later, large hands grabbed my hips from behind, startling me so much I stumbled.
“Whoa, baby,” a gritty voice rasped in my ear as a bulky man hauled me back against him.
I would rather have fallen, I decided, as warm, whiskey-stenched breath traveled over my neck.
My protest was lost in a sudden commotion, and the man was jerked away from me. As I tried to get my bearings, I heard familiar voices. Silas was telling the man to move along. Ryke repeated Nate’s name like he was urgently trying to get him to listen. The chaos left me frozen, unsure which way to go.
“Shiloh, can I talk to you?” Nate was suddenly next to me, his clean scent a welcome diversion.
Without thinking, I nodded and reached for him, pleasantly surprised when I easily found his arm waiting for me to take. Without words, he covered my hand with his other and led me away from the dance floor. The gust of fresh air wafted over us as he guided me through the door. Filling my lungs, I relaxed, happy to be outside.
“You’re killing me, Shiloh.” Nate’s thick voice seemed almost tortured, and part of me felt some satisfaction.
“Really, Nate? How so?” I cocked my hip and crossed my arms over my chest, aware the move pushed my breasts up. Mira had been so pleased with my outfit choice, and I knew I looked as good as I felt in it. I hadn’t set out to make Nate jealous, but it sure didn’t make me sad.
A startled squeak left my mouth as he hauled me against him. His face was so close to mine I could feel his lips move. “You in this fucking getup has every guy in the bar undressing you with their eyes. It’s making me crazy.” His hands roamed my back, stopping just above my ass. He was aroused, and damn if that didn’t ignite my own body.
“What about you, Nate? You undressing me with your eyes?” My voice sounded foreign to my ears.
“Yeah, but I can tell you it doesn’t hold a candle to the reality.” His lips glided softly over mine.
The sensation was heavenly; however, it also pulled me out of the lust-filled moment. A shiver ran through me like a bucket of ice water had been poured over me.
“You can’t do this to me, Nate.” The dulling ache that had been constant throughout the day came back with a vengeance. “You can’t reject me one minute and then act like you want me the next.” I pulled free from his hold, putting much-needed separation between us.
“Shiloh.”
“No, Nate. What do you want from me?”
His deep sigh was a pretty good sign of where this was headed. “I don’t know what I want.” His soft words were hardly audible.
Tilting my head back, I groaned in frustration. “Well, let me know when you figure it out.”
I took two steps toward the music before I realized navigating through the bar on my own wasn’t an option. Storming off was a little difficult, and the bandage on my knee was proof.
Kicking my boot at the ground, I turned to where Nate had been, the last of my pride crumbling.
“Can you please walk me back to the table?”
Mark and Kyle were itching to get on a horse, so Mira took them out to the paddock to ride. Lauren, on the other hand, was resistant to just about everything at this point. Her standoffish attitude was part typical teenager and part coping mechanism. I hoped to have her help me groom gentle Molly. It was a good time to get her more comfortable around the horses as well as me.
“This is Molly,” I said as I tied the reins to the outside of the stall. “Horses are a lot like you and me.” Gently taking Lauren’s hand, I pressed it to Molly’s neck and led her hand down against the soft hair before letting go.
“How?” For the first time since I’d met her, her voice was full of curiosity. I couldn’t help but smile.
“You can’t force a horse to do anything. They’re bigger than you. They startle easily, and their need for self-preservation sometimes overrides logic. But you learn over time, asking and telling the right way gets them to do what you want.” Soft patting sounds told me Lauren was moving her hand over Molly. “If you try to force them to do something they aren’t comfortable with, they’re going to dig in their heels and use their weight to keep you from changing their mind. Sometimes they even push back.
“You have to develop a level of trust. You have to give the information to them, empower them, and let them find their way. Even so, sometimes you simply have to walk away and try again another time.”
“Yeah, I can see that, I guess.” Lauren sounded like she was beginning to relax.
“Would you like to brush her?” I reached into the bucket on a hook, not wanting to push her, but my heart raced as I waited for her response. This was what I’d been trained for, and although I knew how I should proceed, I was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and losing my chance to make a difference with this girl.
“Okay.”
I traced over Molly’s neck until I reached Lauren’s hand, placing the handle in her palm, and guiding her in the proper direction. “How’s school going?”
Lauren’s huff told me exactly how she felt about that topic. “It sucks. My friends don’t want to be around me anymore, and I feel like a freaking idiot trying to walk around.” Her voice shook, yet she didn’t back away from Molly.
“You know, it’s okay to be angry.”
“You don’t understand,” she mumbled. “Nobody does.”
“You might be surprised how much I do understand.” I grabbed another brush and worked on the other side of the horse.
“How could you? You’re not blind.”
“Actually, I am.” And the reason I’d withheld that particular fact from the kids was for moments just like this. I followed the path of the brush with my other hand, giving Molly a few subtle pats. She was being a perfect girl, standing so still as if she knew how important this conversation was.
“You’re blind?” Her incredulous tone brought a smile to my face.
“I am.”
“But how can you teach classes?” Her question was far from insulting. She was new to this and under the impression her life was over.
�
�I suppose I do it like anyone else, only I have to rely on my other senses.”
We worked in silence for a couple of minutes, giving her time to process this new information.
“You know, I was just a bit younger than you. I was so angry. I couldn’t understand why this was happening to me.” I dropped the brush in the bucket and walked around Molly to Lauren. “It’s okay to feel like that, Lauren. You’ve lost a huge part of you, and it’s devastating. It’s scary and unfair. You need to mourn that loss, but the important thing to remember is you can’t allow this tragedy to consume you.”
“I’m just so sad.” Lauren’s voice quivered with tears, and the raw emotion brought an ache to my chest as I remembered feeling the exact way.
“Oh, honey, I know.” I squeezed her shoulder in comfort.
“How did you get past it? The anger? I don’t know how.”
“You have to make the decision to live again. Life as you know it has taken a different path, and you need to find a way to make it your own again. You can let the anger and sadness take over, but there won’t be anything left to give. You can only pretend and push everything down for so long, until it all implodes.” My thoughts flashed to Nate and his demons. “Most of us won’t like who we become at that point.” A rustling sound had me turning my head. When I didn’t hear anything else from that direction, I figured it was just one of the animals.
“Do you miss seeing?” Lauren asked.
“I don’t remember it much anymore. I’m sure I would have a lot less bruises if I could see.” I chuckled. “But honestly, I still see the world with my other senses. And, Lauren, it’s just as beautiful. You need to find your footing again. When you do, the people who care about you, your family and friends, will take their cues from you. Your parents want you to feel empowered and confident in your blindness. You’ll get there, Lauren. I’ll help you.”
“Shiloh?”
“Yes?”
“Can I hug you?” Tears welled in my eyes at her simple plea.
“Of course, you can.” We reached for each other at the same time, and her fist plowed me square in the stomach, causing me to groan.
“Oh, shit!” Lauren exclaimed then corrected herself. “I mean, crap.”
Amusement bubbled inside me until I was openly laughing. Lauren joined me, and somehow, we finally managed to embrace.
“That is what I like to refer as blind girl problems,” I said when I released her, finally catching my breath.
“Do they happen often?” She hooked her hand through my arm so we could walk to where her parents would be waiting.
“All the time, sweetie. All the time.”
S H I L O H
Something special about music spoke to my soul like nothing else. The vibrations ran through me like smooth silk, starting softly in my core and stretching out to a sort of liquid energy all the way to my fingers and toes.
Dancing opened my world to a whole new freedom. My body moved without outside influence. There was no urge to mimic someone else’s movements. There was no worry if I looked silly. It was incredible, like a shot of caffeine flowing through my veins, causing my boots to stomp. Every so often, Mira’s touch let me know she was still with me. Her carefree laugh filled my ears. For me, it was impossible not to smile.
Song after song, my hips swayed, until I was winded but full of joy. It was the first time today I’d felt happy, and knowing it wouldn’t last, I just went with it.
“I’m gonna get some water. You coming?” Mira’s voice was faint over the music.
“Nope. This girl has some dancing to finish. Where’s the table from here?” Mira took my hand and spun us to face the band so I could orient myself.
“The table is about twenty feet to your right. We’re at the edge of the dance floor.”
“Got it. Stop me before I wander into traffic if I miss it,” I joked. The soft brush of her lips on my cheek made my mouth curl in a smile before she left me to my refreshing escape.
Less than ten seconds later, large hands grabbed my hips from behind, startling me so much I stumbled.
“Whoa, baby,” a gritty voice rasped in my ear as a bulky man hauled me back against him.
I would rather have fallen, I decided, as warm, whiskey-stenched breath traveled over my neck.
My protest was lost in a sudden commotion, and the man was jerked away from me. As I tried to get my bearings, I heard familiar voices. Silas was telling the man to move along. Ryke repeated Nate’s name like he was urgently trying to get him to listen. The chaos left me frozen, unsure which way to go.
“Shiloh, can I talk to you?” Nate was suddenly next to me, his clean scent a welcome diversion.
Without thinking, I nodded and reached for him, pleasantly surprised when I easily found his arm waiting for me to take. Without words, he covered my hand with his other and led me away from the dance floor. The gust of fresh air wafted over us as he guided me through the door. Filling my lungs, I relaxed, happy to be outside.
“You’re killing me, Shiloh.” Nate’s thick voice seemed almost tortured, and part of me felt some satisfaction.
“Really, Nate? How so?” I cocked my hip and crossed my arms over my chest, aware the move pushed my breasts up. Mira had been so pleased with my outfit choice, and I knew I looked as good as I felt in it. I hadn’t set out to make Nate jealous, but it sure didn’t make me sad.
A startled squeak left my mouth as he hauled me against him. His face was so close to mine I could feel his lips move. “You in this fucking getup has every guy in the bar undressing you with their eyes. It’s making me crazy.” His hands roamed my back, stopping just above my ass. He was aroused, and damn if that didn’t ignite my own body.
“What about you, Nate? You undressing me with your eyes?” My voice sounded foreign to my ears.
“Yeah, but I can tell you it doesn’t hold a candle to the reality.” His lips glided softly over mine.
The sensation was heavenly; however, it also pulled me out of the lust-filled moment. A shiver ran through me like a bucket of ice water had been poured over me.
“You can’t do this to me, Nate.” The dulling ache that had been constant throughout the day came back with a vengeance. “You can’t reject me one minute and then act like you want me the next.” I pulled free from his hold, putting much-needed separation between us.
“Shiloh.”
“No, Nate. What do you want from me?”
His deep sigh was a pretty good sign of where this was headed. “I don’t know what I want.” His soft words were hardly audible.
Tilting my head back, I groaned in frustration. “Well, let me know when you figure it out.”
I took two steps toward the music before I realized navigating through the bar on my own wasn’t an option. Storming off was a little difficult, and the bandage on my knee was proof.
Kicking my boot at the ground, I turned to where Nate had been, the last of my pride crumbling.
“Can you please walk me back to the table?”
Mark and Kyle were itching to get on a horse, so Mira took them out to the paddock to ride. Lauren, on the other hand, was resistant to just about everything at this point. Her standoffish attitude was part typical teenager and part coping mechanism. I hoped to have her help me groom gentle Molly. It was a good time to get her more comfortable around the horses as well as me.
“This is Molly,” I said as I tied the reins to the outside of the stall. “Horses are a lot like you and me.” Gently taking Lauren’s hand, I pressed it to Molly’s neck and led her hand down against the soft hair before letting go.
“How?” For the first time since I’d met her, her voice was full of curiosity. I couldn’t help but smile.
“You can’t force a horse to do anything. They’re bigger than you. They startle easily, and their need for self-preservation sometimes overrides logic. But you learn over time, asking and telling the right way gets them to do what you want.” Soft patting sounds told me Lauren was moving her h
and over Molly. “If you try to force them to do something they aren’t comfortable with, they’re going to dig in their heels and use their weight to keep you from changing their mind. Sometimes they even push back.
“You have to develop a level of trust. You have to give the information to them, empower them, and let them find their way. Even so, sometimes you simply have to walk away and try again another time.”
“Yeah, I can see that, I guess.” Lauren sounded like she was beginning to relax.
“Would you like to brush her?” I reached into the bucket on a hook, not wanting to push her, but my heart raced as I waited for her response. This was what I’d been trained for, and although I knew how I should proceed, I was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and losing my chance to make a difference with this girl.
“Okay.”
I traced over Molly’s neck until I reached Lauren’s hand, placing the handle in her palm, and guiding her in the proper direction. “How’s school going?”
Lauren’s huff told me exactly how she felt about that topic. “It sucks. My friends don’t want to be around me anymore, and I feel like a freaking idiot trying to walk around.” Her voice shook, yet she didn’t back away from Molly.
“You know, it’s okay to be angry.”
“You don’t understand,” she mumbled. “Nobody does.”
“You might be surprised how much I do understand.” I grabbed another brush and worked on the other side of the horse.
“How could you? You’re not blind.”
“Actually, I am.” And the reason I’d withheld that particular fact from the kids was for moments just like this. I followed the path of the brush with my other hand, giving Molly a few subtle pats. She was being a perfect girl, standing so still as if she knew how important this conversation was.
“You’re blind?” Her incredulous tone brought a smile to my face.
“I am.”
“But how can you teach classes?” Her question was far from insulting. She was new to this and under the impression her life was over.
“I suppose I do it like anyone else, only I have to rely on my other senses.”
