Meant for Love

by Christine Kingsley

  “But how long is she here?” He didn’t want to let the chance pass him by.

  “Indefinitely. Her mother has passed. She’s moving here.” His mother quickly explained the gist of what happened last night. His father had denied it, but seeing clearly what he obviously could not, Mrs. Kincade had followed the young woman outside to find out what her plans were and to let her know that she was welcome in Willow Valley.

  Jesse could only gape at her, seeing for the first time the fortitude that his mother must have, lying dormant as it was, to be able to accept this and make such a bold statement.

  She laughed lightly at his expression. “Jesse, dear, I said it for you. I know you always wanted a sibling, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you one, but now you have one right here, and I didn’t want you to miss out on the chance to get to know her.” The way she said couldn’t, with a bit of defiance in her eyes, indicated more that she meant wouldn’t. Subjecting one child to a life with Charles Kincade was more than enough.

  Where had that defiance been when he’d need it most, though? When he’d been a scared and lonely child, wishing beyond hope that his mother would only grab him and take him away from the life they led. Too late now, though, he thought bitterly. He’d lived out his childhood in that miserable home, and he carried the emotional scars of it in every decision he made. Something only too clear to him lately as he’d fought against his growing need for Lissa.

  Lissa!

  He glanced at his watch, realizing she should have already been into work. “Mom, Lissa is going to be here any minute—”

  She nodded knowingly, as if she understood that he wanted to keep it a secret. “I’m not telling anyone until you’re ready, son.”

  He started to shake his head, to correct her assumption, but realized he’d be getting into another conversation he wasn’t ready to have yet. Mostly he just wanted her to be out the door before Lissa arrived, for fear that she’d see right through any attempts they made to ignore the budding romance between them.

  He wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see Lissa just then either. Bidding his mother a hasty goodbye and promising to call her later once he’d had time to think, he shut himself in his office and sat down with his head in his hands. Just as he’d been so close to convincing himself he wasn’t his father and that he should get over his own fears, the past had reared its ugly head. And now he didn’t know what to think.

  ***

  “Guess who brought donuts!” Lissa sat the bag on her desk and flipped her computer on. When she didn’t get a reply from Jesse, she shrugged. He must have gone out back to get an early start. His office door was shut, so that was the only explanation. He always left it open unless he was meeting with a client, and since there were no other cars than his out front, she knew he wasn’t.

  “Okay, what to tackle first?” she muttered to herself. She dove right in to organizing the stacks of files that littered her desk. She’d been putting off cleaning up for a bit. There were so many more important things to do, after all. But right then, she couldn’t focus on any of them. She’d made a decision last night and needed a task just mindless enough to keep her preoccupied until she had a chance to ask Jesse. If she thought too much about it, she was certain she’d back down.

  Bringing someone to dinner with her family was not something to be taken lightly. She was half afraid that if he did agree to go, he’d run for the hills by the time the night was over.

  There was also that annoying, nagging voice in the back of her head that told her asking him to a family dinner was crossing the line. Yeah, they’d had an amazing time at the lake, and their daily interactions were growing to very much resemble a relationship. But that’s not what they had. And she didn’t want to push too hard.

  Okay, exactly what you don’t want to think about. Grabbing the bag of donuts, she left her desk half-finished and made her way out the back door toward the storage buildings. Better get it over with before she could talk herself out of it.

  “Jesse?” She looked all over the building, trying to draw him out with enticements of Cassie’s jelly-filled donuts. When she still got no response, she walked around outside to the front of the store to make sure he hadn’t gone out another way. Nope. Truck was still there. Where was he then?

  Back in the office, she glanced again at the shut office door. Surely not. He wouldn’t have stayed in there all this time knowing she had donuts waiting.

  “Jesse?” She twisted the knob and popped her head through the door, surprised to actually find him in there. “Didn’t you hear me earlier? I’ve got donuts. Jelly-filled, even.” She wrinkled her nose; she was a chocolate donut girl, all the way. “As if you needed another reason to admit how awesome I am.”

  Her laughter died in her throat at the look he gave her. “Jess, what’s the matter?” She hurried around the desk, dropping the donuts on the very clean surface of his desk.

  Kneeling down in front of his chair, she looked up into his eyes. He met her gaze for just a moment, and conflicted indecision was written all over his face. He opened his mouth to speak, and she was almost afraid to find out what was about to come out.

  Snapping it shut again, he pulled her up to his lap and rested his forehead against hers. “Lissa, baby.” He blew his breath out in a gust and squeezed her tightly, holding her cradled against his chest.

  They sat there for a while, Lissa waiting for him to tell her what on earth was going on, but after a time she thought he wasn’t going to tell her after all.

  “Jelly donut?” she suggested again, sitting up and grabbing the bag, waving it under his nose as she tried to lighten the mood.

  Jesse laughed, but there wasn’t much amusement to be found on his face. “I guess so, even though I don’t have much of an appetite.”

  “You? No appetite? This must be more serious than I thought.” She grinned at him, trying to pull him out of this funk, but her words appeared only to drag him down further.

  “It is,” he sighed, reaching for a donut in spite of his supposed lack of hunger.

  Lissa took a bite of her own donut and shifted on his lap as if to get up, but he kept one arm firmly around her.

  “Don’t get up just yet. You’re a mighty fine distraction.” From what, she didn’t know, and he didn’t appear to want to tell her yet either. He leaned toward her and lightly licked the corner of her mouth. “Mmm, chocolate.”

  She didn’t know whether to be disgusted or turned on by this peculiarly intimate gesture, but settled for a laugh and held her donut away. “No, you don’t. The chocolate is all mine.”

  He quirked one corner of his mouth up affectionately at her, and some of the conflict in his eyes seemed to fade slightly, warming up to her. That was all the indication she needed. Best to take the plunge and get it out there before she chickened out.

  But the words didn’t come out as smoothly as she’d have liked. “So, um, I wanted to ask you, I mean invite you…well, let’s just say I have a proposition for you.”

  “A proposition? I’m liking the sound of this. I don’t often get propositioned in my office by such a lovely lady as yourself.” He raised his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner, and she smacked him lightly on the arm. At least he seemed less depressed at the moment.

  “Ha ha. Aren’t you the funny one? Not that kind of proposition.” Not that the idea hadn’t crossed her mind a time or two. Or every half hour. “What I’m trying to say is…” She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “I want you to come to dinner on Monday.”

  While this sounded simple enough, Jesse was well aware of her family’s standing Monday night dinners. She watched in dismay as a series of expressions crossed his face, finally settling on a smile that seemed pleasant enough, to someone who didn’t know him as well as she did.

  His arm slackened around her and his eyes revealed nothing, but that carefully blank face told her enough. He wasn’t nearly as thrilled by this invitation as she had hoped. He was clearly still fighting wha
tever internal battle he had been when she’d come in, and her asking him to dinner had brought it right back to the surface.

  The last bite of donut felt like sawdust in her mouth, and she quickly stood, turning before he could see that her eyes might not have been quite as dry as they should have been. It was stupid of her to ask in the first place. What had she been thinking? That’s not where they were in this relationship—if you could even call it that, and she was pretty certain now that you couldn’t.

  She forced herself to put one foot in front of the other, mumbling, “I have lots of work to do. We can talk about it later. Or not. Yeah, let’s just forget I said anythi—”

  A strong hand clamped around her wrist, stopping her. “Lissa.” His voice was soft, soothing. She stayed facing the door until he said, “Look at me.” And much as she didn’t want to, she turned to him, swallowing the lump in her throat but not daring to look up at him just yet.

  But he wasn’t having that. He placed his crooked finger gently under her chin, tilting her head up to his. “I’d love to have dinner with your family.” He bent and kissed her softly on the lips, a feather-light touch.

  She nodded wordlessly, but as he dropped her wrist and gave her a quick smile before turning back to his desk, she couldn’t help noticing that there was a wariness in his eyes. She hadn’t expected him to jump at the idea, at least she didn’t think so. But she also hadn’t expected him to react so obviously against it, regardless of the lip service.

  Something was going on with him, and while she had no idea what it could possibly be, and was pretty sure that it wasn’t because of her, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that the consequences would very much affect her.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Okay, I can’t take this anymore.” Lissa threw her hands up in the air and stared him down. “When are you going to tell me what the heck is going on with you?”

  Jesse had been expecting this, but he still didn’t know what to say. It had been two days since he found out about his sister, and he knew he had been acting distant, but he wasn’t sure still he wanted to talk about it.

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

  Lissa raised her eyebrows at him expectantly, but he could see she was nervous about what he might be about to say. He couldn’t blame her after the things he had told her about their relationship, or lack thereof. She was probably expecting him to call the whole thing off.

  He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles and giving her a reassuring smile. At least he hoped it was. She had been the only thing that had kept him grounded and sane over the last couple of days as he tried to work through how to deal with what was coming tonight. His parents had arranged for his sister—Abigail was her name, apparently—to come to their home tonight and meet him officially.

  “It’s not you, Lissa.”

  The line of her mouth hardened. “It’s not you, it’s me? Seriously, Jesse?”

  “No, no! I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right. It absolutely is me, but this has nothing to do with us,” he clarified.

  She relaxed visibly, but the concern was still in her eyes, this time directed at him. “Then what is it? Whatever this—” she waved her hand in his direction, “—issue is, it’s been going on for the last couple of days. You just haven’t been yourself. I don’t know what’s going on with you or what I can do about it. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

  He gazed into her eyes, so earnest and caring as she tried to show him he could trust her. He did trust her, unquestionably. More than anyone else in the world. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of what she might think when he told her.

  He took a deep breath and let it out with a heavy sigh. “So, you know the other day? Wednesday, when you brought the donuts?” Of course she knew.

  She lifted an eyebrow sardonically and gave him a half smile. “Yes…”

  “Well, before you got here, my mother had been here to see me.” Her expression was full of surprise. Just like him, she probably couldn’t remember the last time that Mrs. Kincade had set foot in the store.

  “Well, she had some rather…shocking news.” He took another steadying breath and didn’t meet her eyes. “She came to tell me that I had a sister.”

  Lissa gasped, then clamped to hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, Jesse, how long has she known about this?”

  “She just found out as well.”

  Lissa leaned forward and grasped his hands, squeezing them tightly. Jesse proceeded to tell her the whole story his mother had relayed to him. When he was done, he leaned back in the chair and rubbed his hands roughly across his eyes.

  “So, like I said, it’s not you, and it’s not us. But I’m so sorry that it’s come between us the last two days. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know how you would react. Your family—it’s just so perfect. And mine, well, it—”

  “Jesse, surely you don’t think that. That my family is perfect, first of all, because believe me, they are far from it. But also that it would matter to me that our families are different. Honestly, I should be more concerned about what you think about my family. Do you have any idea how terrified I am for you to come to one of our crazy dinners on Monday?” She grinned at him, and it relieved his tension somewhat. He pulled her towards him and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

  “That’s sweet, Lissa, but I don’t think you realize just how crazy my family is in comparison. And not in the loud, fun, large family type of way.” He shook his head, trying not to think about just how opposite their backgrounds were. “Anyway, I’m supposed to go over there tonight. To meet her. Well, officially I mean.”

  Confusion spread across Lissa’s face for a moment before there was a flash of realization. “The woman who came in the store! I knew she looked familiar. That’s your sister?”

  Jesse nodded. “Yeah, that’s her, though we didn’t know it at the time.”

  “Is there anything I can do? I could go with you, for support.” She looked at him doubtfully, though. She knew as well as he that coming along would only make things more uncomfortable. It was bad enough already.

  “I appreciate the thought, but this is something I have to do by myself.”

  “What time are you going?”

  Jesse glanced up at the clock on the wall. “In about an hour. My mom is making dinner. Won’t that be nice and awkward?”

  “Come over after?” Lissa offered, giving him a hint of a smile.

  “You have no idea how good that sounds.” To know that he would see her at the end of this dreaded evening made the prospect of the next few hours much more bearable.

  “I’ll swing by the bakery and see if there’s anything good left over,” Lissa said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and squeezing his hands again before heading back to her desk.

  He watched her, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. Perhaps the evening wouldn’t be a complete bust after all. He tried to finish up what work he could over the next thirty minutes, then he swung by his apartment on the way to his parents’ house to shower and change clothes.

  By seven o’clock he was sitting in their driveway gathering the courage to go inside. He had no idea how this was going to go. He didn’t know the first thing about Abigail. He didn’t know what she wanted, what she expected to happen. Why she had come here in the first place.

  Jesse had also tried to figure out what he expected over the last couple of days. Did he want to get to know her? Did he resent her for showing up now and complicating his family’s problems even further? There were so many things he just didn’t know. He was still trying to let it sink in that he had a grown sibling. A sibling that he’d always wanted. Now they had missed out on a lifetime together. That was enough to have him upset at his father all over again, especially if he’d known about her, as Abigail seemed to think he did.

  Sitting around in the truck wasn’t going to get him
any answers, though. Curiosity was definitely getting the better of him, and he was starting to realize that any anger or hostility that he felt wasn’t directed towards her, but rather at his father. He had missed out on twenty-five years of Abigail’s life. He didn’t want to miss out on any more. He wanted to get to know her.

  Climbing from his truck, he went to the front door. Just as he was about to lift his hand to the doorbell, he heard the rumbling engine of a car pulling up on the street behind him. He turned to see a rundown sedan parking by the curb, and the flash of nearly-black hair let him know that his sister had arrived. He turned from the door and went back down the porch steps to greet her, nerves mingling with excitement.

  Abigail climbed from the car and slammed the door, turning to stare at Jesse. He watched for some type of reaction to cross her face, but all he saw was coldness as she glared at him over the roof of her car. She obviously wasn’t as excited to see him as he was to see her, and the realization struck him hard.

  Trying to maintain his composure, he called out, “Good evening. I’m Jesse. But you probably already know that.” He offered her a smile, but she still stared at him coldly as she made her way around the car and up the front walk toward the house, totally ignoring the hand he extended to her.

  “I know.” She brushed by him and made her way up to where he had just been standing on the front porch.

  This was absolutely not what he had expected. She had come here, after all. On the premise of wanting to know her family, right? He turned and went back up the steps of the porch to stand awkwardly beside her as they waited for the door to open. It felt like an eternity, but it must have been mere seconds.

  When the door swung open, his mother stood there, the look on her face not one he was expecting either. Her jaw dropped as she stared first at him, then at Abigail, her eyes shifting back and forth between the two.

  She cleared her throat and gave herself a shake. “My goodness. I’m so sorry to just stand here. Please, do come in. It just gave me a bit of a shock to see the two of you standing there together. You do look so much alike.” His mother was rambling now. “So, you’ve met then?” She offered a small smile to Jesse.