Memories Are An Old Man's Toys

by Elayne Tulliani

  Sherry chimed in “I understand that money and greed play a role in all the things you’re talking about, but that has always been the case. I’m looking around here today, and there isn’t any direction I can look without being able to identify at least one person who is suffering from some form of addiction. Just the other day I went to the shop near my apartment, and there was a young man slumped over on a bench, and he was clearly in distress. I approached an officer that was nearby, and I told him I was concerned. He told me that the guy was overdosing and he had already called an ambulance. He said ‘They’ll give him some Narcan and he’ll be back on the streets in no time looking for his next fix.’ I couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was about it. I mean I know they deal with this every day, but it just seems like we have become numb to the problem. There were actually a couple of kids that were videotaping this young man. I mean who does that Billy? Have we seriously become a society that is so detached that we can casually sit and watch another person nearly die and the only thing we do is whip out our cameras and film it?”

  Billy could hear the passion in her voice, and he shared her rage at how desensitized we had all become. “As far as the growing epidemic of heroin addiction facing America, I am a firm believer that it has reached the level its reached out of design, not by mere chance. In my opinion, the “war on drugs” was never meant to be won. I was preaching that fact long before the issue reached mainstream media that unlike addicts of the past who bought and used their dope in secrecy, today’s addicts are getting introduced to their addiction in their doctor’s offices. There are so many people who under different circumstance never would have entertained the idea of using illegal substances that are now full-blown addicts and are getting their drugs on the streets. The same pharmaceutical companies and doctors that pedal this poison refuse to jump on board and help to make medical marijuana legal and lobby for it to be covered by insurance. It’s a vicious cycle, and I admittedly struggled with separating my distaste of a junkie and my empathy for the addict.”

  Their conversation flowed from one topic to the next, and they all seemed to lead to a piece of the puzzle that Billy felt played a crucial role in all of the issues we currently face, the judicial system.

  Billy explained his take on the issue, “Although I have never had to personally deal with the court system I have always been a student of law in the sense that I spent a great deal of my free time studying law and observing courtrooms in New York and more recently, Massachusetts. My main area of interest was business law, but I was just as intrigued by family and criminal law. I feel that judges should not be appointed for life. They should be voted in and out of office and should have a cap put on the number of years they can serve. I’ve witnessed so many judges that carry their own agenda and bias to the bench.

  “When it comes to the courts and the drug issue I agree that the addict is not going to get the help they need in jail. If they have committed a crime outside of the crime of drug use, such as stealing or hurting someone in the process of getting their drugs, then they should serve their time, just like anyone else. However, if their only crime is the actual use of drugs, then they should be sent to rehab. Now the drug dealers, that’s an entirely different issue. If I sell you a gun and get caught, even if you don’t hurt anyone with that gun, then I’m going to jail. Therefore, if I sell you a drug which hurts you then I should be locked up, and if the drugs I sell you kill you, then I should be charged with murder. Let me assure you that I am very proud to be an American and I feel truly blessed to live in a country where men and women are willing to risk their lives to defend my right to speak my mind. Furthermore, I feel that until a different judicial system is implemented, then we should respect the one we have. However, I don’t have a great deal of faith in the system as a whole.”

  Sherry was hanging on his every word. She was honestly intrigued by his views and was very open to hearing his opinions. She had always known he was an intelligent man, but she had no idea that he had such insight into so many aspects of life. “Please go on,” she said, “I’m truly enjoying this.”

  Billy continued, “Say for instance, in the area of fam-

  ily law if a husband and wife go into a courtroom for any reason; let’s say custody or child support. If the judge that is presiding over that courtroom is biased to either mothers or fathers, what chance does that other parent have for a fair hearing? If they allowed various judges to hear this case throughout the process, then both parties have a much greater chance at a fair outcome. None of these cases are ever resolved in one hearing and if a parent feels they have been treated unjustly or have not been afforded the opportunity to be fully heard what option do they have? True, they can appeal but we all know that the same judges sitting on the appeals board are the ones having cocktails with the family judges, it’s just not what the judicial system is supposed to represent.”

  He stopped talking for a moment and laid his hand on

  Sherry’s shoulder and spoke in a very soft voice while directing her to look around the commons at the number of people who called the streets home. “These people are for the most part the victims of this failed system. Sure, some of them are here due to their own poor choices, but I don’t believe that if given the proper tools that the majority of them would choose this life. Some of them are screw-ups, always have been and always will be, but for far too many of them, it is we who have failed, not them. Enough on that rant it just angers me to see so much injustice in the world, and the little guy feels trapped as though they have no alternative.”

  Sherry thought that perhaps what he was also trying to express in a rather roundabout way was how he felt as a child. He must have felt trapped with no options. No matter how many people around him saw what was happening and how unfair it was no one took the initiative to stand up and say, “Enough.”

  She wondered how many of her own childhood experiences she had carried into adulthood and formed her opinions around. She loved that about Billy; no matter what they talked about he always left her thinking. One thing was certain, they both felt that the overwhelming number of homeless people was a clear sign that our systems were not working. It used to be, that the majority of the homeless consisted of individuals and out of that group there were some that were there due to their own foolish decisions and some were poor souls who were truly dealt a raw deal.

  There were also far too many homeless people that were veterans that were never able to integrate back into society after returning from war. Billy always felt the strongest for them. He wasn’t afraid to state his opinion that any system that allowed its soldiers to live on the streets and go without food and medical attention was a system that was in desperate need of a complete overhaul.

  He noted, “If you just look around you’ll clearly see that the face of the common homeless person is changing. It is now made up of the elderly, the mentally challenged and the family. Children are living on the very same streets that the politicians drive on every day in their government paid for SUVs. It sickens me that there doesn’t appear to be one person of honor amongst all the politicians in the state house who would risk his or her pension and expense account to take a stand and demand accountability.” He shook his head, “Sorry to get so worked up I just don’t like to see the constant underhanded conniving that goes on.”

  “No need to apologize to me Billy, I think you are absolutely right. I only wish there were more people like you in the position of power and maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess today.”

  They walked a bit, and Billy intentionally turned the conversation to a softer note. “Let’s go grab a bite to eat. I haven’t eaten food from a vendor since I lived in New York.” They ordered their hotdogs and drinks and found a nice spot under a huge elm tree to sit down. Sherry had brought with her a small blanket, and she pulled it out of her backpack and spread it on the ground. They spent the day people watching and soaking in the warm New Eng-land sunshine.

  While watching a gro
up of little children play Frisbee one of the toddlers sent the Frisbee flying straight at Sherry. Billy automatically reached up to intervene so it wouldn’t hit her. As Billy stretched to hand the toy back to the child, Sherry saw a relatively fresh scar on Billy’s forearm. She asked, “Billy what happened to your arm; it looks like a surgery scar?”

  Billy pulled his sleeve down and dismissed it with a simple “Oh that’s nothing, I just cut myself this week when I was moving my computers.” He immediately attempted to turn the conversation back to the children.

  Sherry leaned her head slightly to the side and said, “Billy, that’s not true, I saw the scar last week too, and it looked like a fresh injury.”

  He hated to lie to her, but he wasn’t ready to share the truth with her either.

  “I’m sorry Sherry, but I would rather not talk about it right now.”

  She respected his wishes and didn’t push the topic any further, but she did wonder what the big deal was. Why wouldn’t he just tell her how he hurt himself?

  Billy did the best he could to eliminate the momentary tension that was hanging in the air. “Look at that man sitting on the bench near the lamppost. Doesn’t he look just like a statue?

  Sherry immediately started laughing,

  “What?” he questioned.

  “That is a statue,” Sherry said while the tears from her laughter began welling up in her eyes.

  Billy’s face suddenly morphed into a strange combination of surprise and embarrassment; he mumbled, “Man I need to get my eyes checked. Well before I go completely blind is there anything special you wanted to see while we’re in the city?”

  “I was hoping we would have a chance to ride on the Swan Boats. I hope you don’t think that’s silly.”

  “Not only is it not silly Sherry, but I’m actually eager to ride the Swans as well. I remember going there once as a child on a school field trip, I have fond memories of that day. While most of the other kids were busy throwing bread crumbs to the ducks I was busy studying the build-

  ings around us.”

  The city had always intrigued Billy, and there was so much activity that the city life just captivated him. As a child, he often wondered what went on in those huge skyscrapers. What kind of work did they do and what made them so successful? He imagined that the people that worked there were sophisticated and worldly and that someday he would sit in one of those tall buildings and have his own office and be important.

  Now looking back on those memories he realized that all those “important” people were just people, nothing more nothing less. He wasn’t sure if that realization brought with it a feeling of comfort or disappointment. They cleaned up their lunch scraps, and Sherry shook out the picnic blanket, refolded it and returned it to her backpack.

  Billy watched her and was getting a kick out of how meticulous she was. She made sure each corner was lined up precisely with the next and folded it into a perfect square. He thought, “That’s the kind of attention to detail that makes her so successful at her job and only one of the

  things that makes her so attractive to me.”

  They walked through the Commons and paused for a

  bit to watch all the children playing in the Frog Pond. The Frog Pond is a shallow man-made pond that the city filled with water in the summer for city residents to find relief from the summer heat. They allow it to freeze over for skating in the winter.

  Billy made an observation “Half the parents here aren’t paying any attention to their children in the water. They’re all too busy taking pictures of themselves to post online.”

  He shook it off and redirected his thoughts to all the great things the city had to offer and how disappointed he was in himself for not taking advantage of them all these years. They finally reached the Swan Boats and stood for a few minutes while other people boarded the Swans. The ride was so relaxing that neither of them spoke much. It was next to impossible to ignore that the majority of people they had passed while walking to the Swan boats as well as the people on the boat were all staring intently at their phones. It frustrated him that so many people were letting life just pass by as they became more and more addicted to all these little electronic devices.

  He decided he wasn’t going to let his irritation with people’s inability to live in the moment allow him to miss living in this moment with Sherry. He soaked in every ounce of beauty the city offered him that day. When the ride was over, and they were stepping off of the boat, Billy stepped off first and automatically reached back to help Sherry down. As he took her hand, they made eye contact, and it was at that moment that they both knew that something beautiful was developing. When she was once again safe on solid ground, he didn’t let go and they spent the remained of the day walking hand in hand.

  It was beginning to get a little dark and Billy didn’t feel comfortable walking around in the city at night with Sherry, so they made their way back to Government Center. As they stood waiting on the platform for the train, a large group of young kids about high school age came bombing down the staircase. Some of them were running while others slid down the handrail. They were rather loud and obnoxious, but they weren’t doing any harm, they were just acting rowdy. Their presence, however, was causing Billy to feel a little uncomfortable, and he tried nonchalantly guiding Sherry a little further away. Billy was confident in his ability to protect himself, but he was concerned about Sherry getting caught up in any unnecessary nonsense.

  The train arrived, and they boarded and found a seat near the far end of the car. Billy had enjoyed the day with Sherry immensely and hated to see it coming to an end. Each time they arrived at another station the ringing bell and station announcement rang in his ears like a countdown. It wasn’t a long ride, and before they knew it, they were back at Beachmont Station. When they emerged from the station, there was an onslaught of police cars and sirens. “Awe it’s good to be home” he joked, Sherry laughed. Although he was a little nervous in Boston as darkness approached, he was oddly calm back in his own neighborhood. He thought to himself “I guess it’s true, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.”

  They strolled back to Sherry’s car and immediately started to exchange pleasantries about how much they had enjoyed the day. He reminded her that she still had a ride ahead of her and she should probably get a move on so she wasn’t driving too late. She started to get in the car and said, “Oh my goodness Billy, how rude of me, get in, and I’ll give you a ride to your place.” Billy would have jumped at any opportunity to spend a little more time with her, so he didn’t hesitate and walked around to the passenger side and climbed in

  It dawned on him that in all the years they had known each other they had never gone anywhere in a car. He took the opportunity to glance around the interior of her car and noted to himself that she kept it as organized as everything else in her life. The radio was playing softly, and it was tuned to the same classical station that he enjoyed. He took it as yet another confirmation of how similar they were. The brief time that it took to reach Billy’s apartment seemed even quicker because it was filled with constant chatter as both reflected on the day.

  When they pulled up to the curb at his apartment building, there were an unusual number of neighbors in front of their houses talking. Billy didn’t think anything of it since it was such a nice night; he assumed they were all just enjoying the summer evening. It wasn’t until he got out of the car and began to walk around to the driver’s side window that a neighbor asked him if he had just come from the train station. He acknowledged the question without confirming where he was coming from with a simple response of, “Why?”

  The neighbor informed him that there had been a shooting at the corner earlier and that’s why there were so many cops there. Another neighbor chimed in that the shooter was still on the loose. Billy thought it was rather foolish for all these people to be standing around outside if the person was still on the run.

  Billy said, “I don’t think it’s wise
to be hanging around like sitting ducks.” He could feel the eyes of many of the neighbors on him as he said his good-byes to Sherry. He felt rather frustrated that so many people were present. Billy wanted to kiss her goodbye but wasn’t one to perform for an audience. He leaned in towards her and gave her a kiss on the lips and thanked her for the wonderful day.

  When he walked away and passed the neighbors, he tried his best to pretend they didn’t see him kiss Sherry. When he reached his apartment, he thought, “Great I won’t get any sleep tonight, my ears will be ringing all night with everyone talking about me. Well at least they would have something interesting to chatter about; I’ll bet my kiss gets more gossip then the shooting.” He laughed to himself because he knew he was right. Revere was no stranger to violent crimes but Billy kissing a woman, now that was gossip-worthy news. He shook off the thought of

  all the inevitable rumors as he put his key in the door.

  Billy walked into his apartment and tossed his keys

  on the table and his coat on the couch. He made himself a quick cup of tea and sat down in the living room to relax and reflect for a bit. Sherry spent her ride home with her mind bouncing from one thought to another. She had so enjoyed the day and was looking forward to many more. However, she couldn’t seem to shake the brief moment of tension when she mentioned the scar on Billy’s arm. Obviously, he wasn’t telling her the truth about just cutting it while moving computers because she had seen it the week before too. It didn’t seem to her that it had been caused by an accident because the cut appeared to be much too precise. She was concerned that perhaps something was wrong with him. She couldn’t help but let her mind run away with her.