No Regrets (No Regrets #1)
Page 6
***
“So that’s where you’re hiding.” I heard calling from the side of the house, and turned to see Stephan and Kylie rounding the corner of the garage.
Since I couldn’t take the pain of watching Oliver and the Pompom Bitch together anymore, I walked out of the front door and sat alone on the stone ramp of Zoey’s front porch. I gave them a pathetic smile.
“Hiding would require me not being in plain sight, Stephan. Where were you two anyway?”
“Out looking for you. We didn’t see you step out. What’s with the gloomy face?” he asked curiously.
“I just witnessed Adalynn getting nice and cozy with Oliver.”
Stephan shook his head and took a seat on the ramp with me. “Come on Abs, you know just as much as I do that if he’s letting her get close it’s because he’s drunk. You’re the only person he’s ever allowed to get close.”
I wanted to believe him, but the fact was, Oliver and I had been so estranged that I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Two weeks had gone by since Henry’s passing, and Oliver was still refusing to see me. Our moment at the cemetery was the last time we had truly talked.
When he’d gone back to school a week after the funeral, he did pretty much anything he could to make himself scarce. He skateboarded to and from school. He never bothered to pick me up, so we had absolutely no chance of spending any time together. Our encounter at our locker was basically the only time he chose to acknowledge me. The fact that he hadn’t asked to switch lockers was my only comfort in knowing that whatever was going on would be temporary. Something was up with him and it bugged the hell out of me that he wouldn’t let me in.
“Abby,” Kylie added, “you’re reading way too much into this. Just go talk to him.”
“And say what? I’m so pissed off at him right now, Ky. The only words that will stumble out of my mouth will be to tell him to fuck off. He said he didn’t want to come yet here he is–”
“He probably just changed his mind, Abs,” Stephan interrupted. “At least give him a chance to explain. I swear you two really drive me nuts sometimes. You do get that the concept of being best friends suggests that you need to talk to each other once in a while, right?”
“You don’t think I’ve tried that already?”
“He needs you Abby. You just need to remind him that you’re still there and show him that you have no intention of giving up on him.”
I sighed and rubbed my furrowed forehead.
“Fine.” I pulled my legs around and stepped back on the porch. “I’ll go check on him. Again. Oh, and hey,” I called before walking inside the house. “Have any of you seen Tyler tonight?”
“He couldn’t come,” Stephan answered. “Something about his dad leaving town, I think. He was pretty vague about the whole thing. You know how he is about his family.”
I did, and I also knew that I should have been more worried, but my priorities were otherwise occupied.
Oliver
“Was that necessary?” I asked Adalynn when Abby left the room.
“What?” she replied innocently.
I didn’t buy her feigned innocence. I knew it was all an act the second I looked at her. Ever since I had gone back to school after my father’s funeral, I started to hang out with a different group of friends. Some other guys from the football team had intercepted me on my first morning back and I just continued joining them during break. They were the perfect escape from my own friends who seemed inclined to make sure I was okay, every second of the day. Unfortunately, Adalynn and her cheerleading squad were a part of that group. Abby was right, she really was a mean person.
“I don’t understand why you’re always on her case, Adalynn.”
“Right. Like she doesn’t do the same with me.”
“As a matter of fact, she doesn’t. She just complains when you’re shooting daggers at her.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be shooting daggers at her if she wasn’t in the way of me getting what I want.”
“What you want? What could you possibly want that you don’t already have?
“That’s easy. You. I’ve told you many times already. I want you to be my boyfriend, Oliver. Abbygail is always in the way, she makes it impossible to get close to you.”
I chuckled. “Okay. First off, Abby isn’t your problem in that department, Adalynn. I am not interested in dating, period. Don’t take it personally. It’s just not my thing. And second of all, if there were any chance of us being a couple, there is absolutely no way in hell I’d be dating a girl that has an issue with my best friend. She is non-negotiable.”
“Then get used to being single.”
“Why’s that?”
“If you keep Abbygail around, there is no girl in school that will want to date you. When the both of you are together, you look like and act as if you’re a couple. So you might as well be dating her, Oliver.”
“Maybe I will.” The words escaped my mouth without thinking and walked out the patio door.
***
I recognized the distinct smell of his weed the moment I stepped out, and sure enough Damian was sitting alone near the in-ground pool, looking at the sky and its peacefulness. I was tempted to ask him for a hit but then changed my mind. With the amount of alcohol I had in my blood, adding drugs in the mix wasn’t the best of ideas.
“Mind if I join you?” I asked him, taking the Adirondack chair beside his.
He barely gave me a glance and shrugged. I wasn’t surprised or offended by his reaction though, it’s just how he was. Damian didn’t care about much and even less about what people thought of him. To me, the guy was our school dealer, and before my dad died, I’d never really paid attention to him. The one thing I did know, though, was that the guy was a freaking genius. The fact that he was always at the top of the class, even though he was high, aggravated the hell out of me.
But, over the week I hung out with the guys on the football team, I got to know Damian a lot better than I had in five years. He was our quarterback’s best friend, and although he didn’t play football himself, I noticed that he knew a lot more about the sport than he let show. He always had some helpful feedback to give the guys after their practice.
I looked up at the dark sky and watched the low white moon through the branches. The sky was extremely dark and the color of the orb around the moon reminded me of Abby’s deep ocean-blue eyes. I hadn’t seen that color since before her mother interrupted our staring competition at school the day my dad died. Ever since then, whenever I crossed her path, her eyes were gray or pale blue, and deep down I knew it was my fault.
“How are you doing?” Damian asked, interrupting my somber thoughts.
“As good as one can be after losing his dad. You?”
He shrugged. “Better than you, I guess. Want some?”
What the hell, why not…
I stretched out reaching for his lit joint.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Abbygail asked, reappearing out of nowhere. I knew I would need to face her sooner or later, but later was what I had been hoping for.
“What does it look like?” I sneered, annoyed by her sudden presence.
“Looks like you’re being an idiot.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just leave, Abby.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Because I just asked you to. Could you just please not be your exasperating self right now and go back inside the house?”
“Great. So now I’m exasperating. Go to hell, Oliver.” She turned her back to me and addressed Damian. “Do you have any more of that?”
“You mean the weed?” he asked surprised.
She nodded.
She wouldn’t dare, would she?
“Sure.” He pulled out another joint from inside his coat.
“No,” I growled, just as he stretched out to hand it to her. I knocked his arm, and the rolled up paper hit the ground.
“What the fuck, man?”
“Abb
y. Inside. The. House. NOW!”
“No.”
“Abbygail Evens, get the fuck out of here. You are not smoking this shit.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
“Really? Well, guess what, ass-hat? You aren’t my dad. If you’re going to be stupid enough to get high, then I’m going to do it with you.”
I should have known.
“Freckle Face, look at me.” She raised her sad eyes to mine, and I could see her pain in them. She didn’t want to take the drugs, but she’d do it anyway, just because it was me. “I don’t want you to do this. This isn’t you.”
“It isn’t you either.” Tears were pooling out of her eyes.
She’s wrong. This is me…
“Okay, Abby you’re right.” I repeated the words in my head three times, to make sure they would be coming out correctly, and I took my best friend’s cold hand. I looked deeply into her eyes and lied to her. “Abbygail, I’m sorry. I won’t do it. I promise. Now go back inside, and I’ll join you in a minute.”
She gave me a resolved nod, and walked back the way she came.
“Your girl is kind of a buzz kill,” Damian commented once Abby was out of earshot.
He picked up the joint I’d made him drop on the ground and gave it to me. I took it, but I made sure she wasn’t looking back when I hid it in my sweatshirt’s front pocket.
“She isn’t my girl.”
“Really? Then you won’t mind if I take her to that room upstairs and fuck her tonight?” I could feel my blood boiling, but within a matter of seconds he coughed out a loud laugh. “Dude. It’s a joke. Abby’s off limits. I get it.”
He reached into his backpack and handed me a bottle containing two pills.
“What is it?”
“Oxy. Think of it as a gift from me to you, for your father’s passing.”
“Dude I don’t–”
“Keep it. Try it, or don’t. I really couldn’t care less. But if you like it, and want more, then let me know. I’ll see what kind of deal I can cut for you.”
I frowned, unsure that I liked the idea of holding such a powerful and addictive drug in my hand. Weed was one thing. OxyContin was an entirely different story.
“I’m sorry about whatever just happened before.”
“Don’t be, I get it. It’s better to keep her off the shit anyway.” He stood ready to leave. “Hey, Oliver, can I offer you a piece of advice?”
I nodded.
“If you want Abbygail to be yours, then stop playing around and make her yours. If you don’t, sooner or later, someone will take her away from you.”
Abbygail
I waited for Oliver but he never came back inside. He climbed the backyard fence and left the party without looking back.
And, unfortunately for me, his disappearing act wasn’t even a surprise.
Oliver
I called a cab after walking out of Zoey’s backyard. It picked me up at the end of the street and dropped me off at the skate park near my house. Park hours were over, but I liked sitting there alone. The quiet made my nerves relax and I was able sit down to think without the several hundred voices around me trying to make sure I was okay.
As I crossed the fence, I took out the weed Damian gave me and lit up. After inhaling and exhaling a couple of times I made my way to my favorite ramp.
“Have any extra for me?” I heard a voice hidden in the darkness.
“Tyler?” I squinted my eyes, surprised by his unexpected presence. “Why aren’t you at Zoey’s party.”
“Didn’t feel like going.”
I frowned and took a seat beside him. I let my feet dangle over the edge of the ramp just like he was. “You look like shit, man, what happened?”
It took a while for him to answer, but when he did, I heard the quake in his voice. “When I came home from school the cops were at the house. My dad beat the shit out of my mom.”
I raised my eyebrow speechless. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Dude…”
“Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He took the joint out of my hand and puffed in slowly, and with the way he smoked it, I could tell it wasn’t his first time either. The thought confused me, I wasn’t aware Tyler smoked pot.
“Why aren’t you at the party?” he asked me curiously.
“I was. It sucked. I left.”
“Was Abby there?”
“Of course she was.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I furrowed my brows. “What do you mean?”
“Well, normally when the two of you are together, you always find a way to have fun.”
I snatched my weed out of his hold and put it to my lips. “Abby and I aren’t on speaking terms right now.”
“I noticed.” He chuckled. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t stand to be around her.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t get it. She’s your best friend. Why are you not talking to her?”
“Things have been different, ever since I kissed her.”
“Wait. You kissed Abby? When the hell did that happen?
“The day before my dad died.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
“Dude, I can’t believe you’ve kept this from us. How was it?”
I smiled, thinking about Abby’s soft root beer tasting lips, but didn’t respond.
“That good, huh? So what happened after that?”
“Nothing. My dad died.”
He frowned, not quite understanding my answer. “So you two haven’t talked about it?”
I shook my head.
“Did she kiss you back?”
I furrowed my brow, surprised by the question.
“What?”
“My dad asked me the same thing. My kissing Abby is the reason he was late for work.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was late because I was so busy thinking about how confused I was when I was supposed to get ready for school. It’s the last thing we talked about, actually.”
“What did he say?”
I sighed. It was hard enough to talk about the last time I had a real conversation with my father; it was even harder to face the fact that I was responsible for his death. The thought had been gnawing at me for days. There was nothing to do. I couldn’t shake off the guilt.
“He said that Abby felt for me what I felt for her and to give her time.”
“And what do you think?”
“I think that if Abby was in love with me she would have told me. She isn’t one to keep quiet about her feelings, so whatever he thought he knew, he was wrong.”
“Have you thought about asking her?”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. Besides, like I said, we aren’t talking now.”
“Why not? And what’s with the both of you anyway?”
“I don’t know. I’m just…like I said earlier, I can’t stand being around her.”
Silence fell between the both of us. I got lost in my own thoughts, and was surprised when Tyler stood ready to leave.
“Need to get home?”
He nodded and hopped off the ramp. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“What would you do if another guy asked Abby out?”
“Probably beat the shit out of him. Why?”
He shrugged. “It’s just a question. I have to go check on my mom. Please don’t tell the others about what happened.”
I gave him an understanding nod, and he walked away.
Losing Control
Oliver
I sat high up on the bleachers overlooking the football field while my team started their warm up. The last time I set foot on the field for practice with them was during our summer try-outs, and the funny thing was that I didn’t miss it. Or at least that’s what I led myself to believe.
“I thought you weren’t going to show up,” Stephan said as he climbed up the benches to join
me.
“If it makes a difference, I didn’t think I would be here either.”
“Coach threw a fit when he saw you weren’t on the field again. He’s really pissed off at you, Oliver.”
“So?”
“So? He’s going to kick you off the team. What’s with you? You haven’t been to practice since school started. Football was your thing, and now it’s like you don’t care.”
I laughed, and Stephan looked at me, irritated by my lack of tact.
“Want to clue me in on what’s so funny?”
I shrugged and shook my head.
“You’re high again, aren’t you?”
“Dude, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really? Then maybe you should make a small trip to the bathroom and look at your stupid grin and your bloodshot eyes,” he suggested angrily. “I just don’t get why you do it, Oliver.”
“What do you mean, why? It’s just a bit of weed, Steph. It helps to take the edge off.”
He shook his head in disagreement, but didn’t push the subject further.
“Where’s Abby?” I asked curiously.
“She came when the bell rang and left maybe five minutes later.”
“She never misses practice.”
“You’re right, she doesn’t. You do. She’s been coming here every day for two weeks waiting for you to show up. She probably got fed up sooner than usual and took the bus home instead.”
“I could have been a few minutes late. It happens. She shouldn’t have left.”
“You’re an idiot,” he replied.
“Piss off, Stephan. She should be here.”
“What the hell for? You’re never here.”
“I am now, aren’t I?”
He looked out at the field and then back to me. “Whatever, Oliver. I’m not here to defend her. I really couldn’t care less about where she is, or what she’s doing. What I care about is you. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
A long silence lingered between us. Stephan and I hadn’t really talked in a while. When we’d hang out, it was more about trying to distract me than getting me to talk about my feelings.
“We need to talk about the weed.”