Mended-Hearts

by Gordon, M. E.

  It was a long shot, asking Nick. I just hoped that we could be friends, and that he could help me out, I mean, come on, he does have naked pictures of me that I’m sure are selling like hot cakes.

  “I--I umm, I guess--”

  “Excellent!” I snuck that in before he could say no. “I think I’ll take that tequila, if you don’t mind.”

  “You’re trouble,” Nick said, moving from the couch and heading toward the kitchen to grab the bottle of tequila.

  “I like to think that I’m adventurous, maybe a little crazy.”

  Nick poured the light amber liquid into my empty glass and then poured some into his own. He sat next to me on the couch. Holding his glass up, I let mine clink with his.

  “To finding the truth,” he said.

  “To starting over,” I added.

  “To starting over,” he repeated, before clinking his glass to mine.

  His face lit up in a dashing smile before he took the shot. A part of me knew that deep down in the depths of my heart it was wrong. It was wrong to ask him to help me, but I was desperate. I had to make sure to keep my emotions in check. I couldn’t go falling for Nick again. I didn’t want to be that person anymore, and he deserved better than someone who could only give half their heart.

  Chapter 24

  Nickolas

  I didn’t know why I agreed to help her. I left her in my apartment and headed back to the gallery. I told her I’d only be an hour or so. As I made my way to the front of my building, the swarms of people were still there, waiting for her to come back out. No one budged as I opened the door and headed back across the street. There was, however, one flash of light as I made my way down the front steps. I caught a glimpse of the man who’d taken the picture and immediately knew he was one of Natasha’s henchmen.

  Not long ago that was me. I was the one doing her bidding. I was the face of betrayal so she could hide behind her desk. She was the master, controlling her puppets. The sad part was we did it without even thinking. All I needed was one call, one name. I knew what was expected of me, and I delivered because Natasha was scary as shit. I’d heard she had ties to the mob, and I believed it. People would disappear, never to be heard of again. You didn’t want to get on her bad side, but when you were on her good side, you were taken care of, given every luxury--vacations, cars, houses, money. So I stayed on her good side. It was only when I met Elizabeth that I crossed over.

  The time had slipped away from me, and I was glad it had. It made me forget about the beautiful woman in my house who was totally off limits. I’d watched Spencer and Elizabeth from the very beginning. I watched from the sidelines as the powerful, controlled man the world knew as Spencer Salvatore lost himself to a woman. I saw him fighting against his instincts to keep to himself in the beginning. Now when I saw them together he’d look at her with wonder and admiration. If he wasn’t smiling for the camera, he was smiling at her.

  On the flip side, I watched as Elizabeth blossomed into a stronger, more confidant woman. With every appearance and every camera that clicked with him by her side, she transformed into the one thing she told me she didn’t want to be, a role model for women everywhere. I liked to think that I had a little to do with that, but I knew the bond that those two had was something that wasn’t so easily broken.

  I didn’t know how we were going to figure Spencer’s secret out, but I felt this was the best way I could apologize for everything that I’d had a hand in doing. It was my way of washing my hands of it all. It was going to be hard as fuck to be with her and keep the feelings I still held on to submerged, but I’d do it for her. She might not have been the other half to my soul that I thought she was, but I was at peace with helping her find hers.

  I turned the lights off after the room was empty, locked the door behind me, and made my way across the barren street. The zombies were gone, called to find some other poor soul to ruin. In the elevator ride up, I loosed my tie and undid a few of the top buttons on my dress shirt.

  I slung my jacket over my shoulder and waited till the doors opened.

  I figured Elizabeth would be sleeping on the couch or watching TV when I walked in. I knew she loved her TV almost as much as I loved taking pictures of her. When I arrived at my door, I could hear the TV blaring. I laughed to myself. Some things never change. I swung the door open and had a witty one liner ready to go. Unfortunately, I never got to use it because my jaw had hit the floor.

  I wasn’t the cleanest person. I had a tendency to stack things. I guessed if I let it get too bad, I might be called a hoarder. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to throw anything away. It was the fact that I really didn’t care because I spent most of my time in my studio. What I saw when I walked in had me so confused, I honestly thought I was in the wrong place. I even check the number on my door to make sure.

  It was spotless. Every dish was clean, every surface was wiped clear of dust. My stacks of mail were organized, my boxes were unpacked, there were pictures hanging on my walls, and my dining room table was set perfectly for four. I didn’t even know I had table settings.

  I had one area in my condo that had nothing in it. No furniture, no nothing. It was usually where I hung all my pictures when I was deciding which to use and which to toss. That area wasn’t bare anymore. It looked like a police station complete with pictures, facts, maps, and red, blue and green string connecting things this way and that. I felt like I had walked into a sound stage for CSI. Elizabeth sat in the middle of the floor with papers spread out all around her. My laptop was on her lap, and she was wearing a pair of my sweat pants and a T-shirt from my closet. Her hair was pulled up in a mess on top of her head with pens sticking out in every direction.

  I let the door close behind me. The sound must have gotten her attention because she looked up from my laptop. She scrunched her face up. “Sorry.”

  I stood just inside and did a once over of my home again. “You’ve been busy.”

  She put the laptop down and stood in the middle of the sea of scattered papers. “I didn’t mean to...” She was fumbling, as if trying to find the words and chewing on the inside of her cheek. Suddenly, she crossed her arms and popped her hip out. “Nick, it was a mess in here, I don’t know how you lived like that.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I don’t know either to be honest with you. What’s all this?” I asked pointing and walking toward the detective crime board. Elizabeth’s face lit up as she bounced on her toes. She was clearly proud of all the work she had done in the few hours I was out.

  “What do you think?” she asked with a smile plastered on her face. “Is this how you guys do it? I didn’t know if I was executing it correctly.”

  I had to laugh at that. What did she think I did when I worked for Fame? She was going to be very disappointed when I told her I didn’t have a clue how to go about finding out Spencer’s secret.

  “I think you’re going in the right direction,” I said, laying my jacket on the back of the couch. “Do you mind?” I asked, walking toward the makeshift board to get a better look.

  “No. Please take a look,” she answered, moving out of the way.

  She’d printed off pictures of herself, her brothers, Gia, Spencer, me, and an image of Fames logo. She’d made a time line of everything. A long red string ran the length of the wall. From the string were events in time. I soon put it together. It was Spencer’s life line so to speak. I went backward in time as I read each note she had made. She’d gotten it all on here--his first nightclub opening to her telling him about her parents and him becoming distant and eventually leaving her.

  Something I didn’t know. He was born in New York. I didn’t even know that, and I was curious how she found this out. I pointed to it on the makeshift timeline. “How do you know this is true?”

  “He told me.”

  “He told you he was born in New York. I didn’t even know that.”

  “You might not have known, but I have a feeling Natasha does.” Elizabeth took a step to the
wall. Standing next to me she pointed to the huge gap between birth and when he popped up in Las Vegas. “I think she knows what happened here too.”

  “So you have no idea what happened to him before he popped up in Las Vegas with his adoptive family?” She shook her head. I shrugged. “I guess that’s a good place to start then.”

  “That’s what I was thinking too.” She took a deep breath. “All right, Nick, bring out your secret weapons, your spy kit, your huge data base, or whatever it is that you used when you worked for Fame.” She had this eager, naive look on her face.

  I chuckled a few times, glanced around at the scattered papers that had whatever information she could find on Spencer. “Elizabeth” I said through a chuckle. “I don’t have anything like that.”

  Her face fell. Her smile went from eagerness to disappointment. “What?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what it is that you thought I did when I worked at Fame but intel wasn’t it.”

  Her arms slumped to her sides. “So what does that mean? You can’t help me? Ugh!” She tossed her hands in the air, yelling up at the ceiling. “Why are you so against me? One step forward, a thousand back. I don’t get it. Do you want me to be miserable and alone? Because I’m really thinking you do.”

  Poor thing was ranting. She did this when we dated, talking to the heavens above. It was cute but I could tell she was getting more and more upset.

  She was facing away from me as she scolded my ceiling. I reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. My hand rested there a moment. A sliver of skin that wasn’t covered by my shit made contact with my fingers. She was warm and soft like I remembered. She turned with my hand still on her shoulder. I let it slide down her arm. I wanted to, but I knew I couldn’t go down that path again, even if every fiber in my body was telling me to grab her, hold her, kiss her, make love to her.

  We were both silent, standing closer than we had been in months. I’d swear I heard her heart pounding against her chest, and I knew she could hear mine. It felt like it was only moments away from bursting out of me. I wondered in the moment if I would ever be able to feel this way for another woman. I was watching my hand drift down her arm, when out of the corner of my eye I saw her watching as well.

  “Simon...”

  I instantly looked up to see her staring at me.

  Her eyes locked with mine. They shifted back and forth before she held them closed. “I’m sorry, Nick. I didn’t mean to--”

  “It’s fine.” I tried to bring her back but she had taken a step away from me and placed her hands on her hips as she stared down at the scattered papers around us.

  “Okay, so you’re not James Bond, and we’re going to have to do this the hard way. Where do you think we should start?” Her cheeks were flushed as she attempted to get back to the task at hand.

  “Are you sure you even want to do this? I mean I’m not a physiatrist or anything but maybe he’s--maybe he’s pushing away for a reason.”

  “Of course I’m sure. The only reason he left was because he’s afraid that once I find out his secret, I’m going to--to--I don’t know what he thinks, but I know in my heart that nothing he could have done is ever going to change the way I feel about him. He’s scared and, quite frankly, being a bit of a moody teenager. I think he’s used to getting his way and having this barrier up that no one can penetrate. I know that I can, I know I can get over it, I just need him to see that, no matter what’s on the other side, I’m not going to leave him or stop loving him.”

  “You shouldn’t have to get over anything. He should trust in you that you would stay by his side. I know you trust him and you let him into your world. He should have done the same.”

  “What are you trying to say, Nick?” she snapped.

  “I’m saying--I”

  “Spit it out, tell me what you really think?”

  “Elizabeth, I think--”

  “What, Nick? What do you think?”

  “I’m tired of seeing you get hurt,” I finally yelled back. “Aren’t you tired of getting hurt yet?”

  Chapter 25

  Elizabeth

  I knew he meant well. I knew that he only said those things to help me, to get me to see it from another side, but it wasn’t helping. Yes, I had been hurt way too many times and, yes, I was tired of it. But I didn’t want to walk away because I knew that I’d be more miserable without Spencer.

  When I had something in my head, a means to an end, I was determined to get to it. I’d been that way my whole life. If someone told me no, I thought yes. If someone said go right, I’d ask, why can’t I go left? If someone told me it was for my own good, I needed to know for myself, and if someone walked away from me, I wanted to know the real reason why, not some stupid excuse about protecting me.

  This wasn’t the 1800s. I wasn’t waiting around for a man to come save me, and I wasn’t a frail girl on the verge of shattering, not anymore.

  “Of course, I’m tired of getting hurt,” I blurted. “I just can’t let it end like this. I can’t let him decide what’s best for me. Only I can do that, and the only way I can do that is to figure his secret out, confront him, and see what happens.”

  Nick was shaking his head in disapproval. I didn’t need his approval, but I did need his help. He might not be James Bond, but I had to assume he had some connections, or at the very least ways to get around the system and the people who controlled it.

  “Listen, if you don’t want to help me, I get it. I just need to know.” I stood there waiting for an answer. He seemed to be having an internal battle, much like the ones he had when we first started hanging out. “Nick, I don’t expect you to help me, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t want to pressure you into it if you don’t want to. I can do this on my own.” I knelt down when he kept silent and began gathering the papers I had fanned out on the floor.

  “Get up,” he called from above me. “Put the papers down. I’m going to help you. I just wanted to make sure it’s really what you want.”

  “It is,” I said, standing before him.

  “All right, I trust you. I trust your instinct. Lord knows you had me pegged from the beginning. If you say Spencer’s the one, then I believe you,” he said, cracking a cheeky smile.

  “He is,” I said, needing him to hear that as much as myself.

  When Nick had placed that comforting hand on my shoulder earlier, and when I took the chance to look into his warm caring eyes, I had this flash of him and me, but it was an image I had put into my head when I was with Simon, when I thought we were right for each other. I’d loved this man. I’d been invested in him once, but the feeling that something was missing between us always rang clear in my mind.

  Although I knew our relationship was built on lies, it was hard when I looked into his gentle brown, eyes. I knew he cared for me, and I could have easily given him another chance, given us another chance. I was sure it would have been fine. We would have been okay, but I didn’t want just okay. I wanted amazing, I wanted butterflies in my stomach, fireworks behind my eyes. I even wanted that overwhelming sadness when we were apart.

  It wasn’t fair to Nick, and it wasn’t fair to me. I needed to keep that at the forefront of my mind as we worked together to solve the mystery. It would be hard, because I was a sucker for handsome face, and Nick sported one proudly. I should help him get back out there. I knew plenty of girls, looking for a nice, handsome, established guy. Loads of charity events and making rounds with Spencer had widened my acquaintance list to well over what I ever thought it could be.

  “I think we need to go to Vegas. I think it’s time to meet your boyfriend’s family,” Nick said through a wicked grin.

  I jumped out of my thoughts and back into the present. “Are you serious? Meet his family? I was technically dumped. What makes you think his family is going to want to meet me? What am I going to do, knock on the door and say, ‘Hey, Spencer’s family, I’m your son’s kind-of girlfriend, can you tell me all about his past?
’ You’re insane,” I said, tossing my hands in the air. I knelt down and grabbed the laptop before turning from him to the board I had created. I was thinking that maybe, if I stared at it long enough, something would pop out. It didn’t.

  “I think that’s a great place to start. His adoptive parents will most likely know where they got him from. Plus, you can test his statement about being from New York. I can book us tickets now and have us there by tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Chill out, Bond,” I said over my shoulder.

  “Here give me the laptop. I’ll find a flight.”

  I swatted at his hand when he reached around me to take the laptop out of my arms. “I can’t just leave and go to Vegas,” I said in all seriousness.

  With a furrowed brow, Nick stared at me.

  “I can’t,” I said again, getting nervous under his watchful eye.

  “Stop lying to yourself. You can go to Vegas. You don’t have anything holding you here.”

  I went to challenge that statement but quickly closed my mouth and cursed myself for never getting off my ass and getting a real job while I sat around and waited for Spencer to get home from his.

  “Fine!” I shoved the computer at him. “Book away. What the hell do I have to loose in meeting his family?”

  Was it going to be a huge mistake showing up at his family’s home, claiming to be his girlfriend? I had no idea, but if it got me close to figuring things out and eventually closer to him, I was going to do it.

  Nick made us reservations to leave the next afternoon. I still had to pack and let my brothers and Gia know what was going on. Nick also had a few things he had to handle the next morning with his gallery. We spent a few more hours, going over what we knew about Spencer. I felt like I was doing all the talking. I was telling Nick everything I knew about him, hoping that maybe one small fact would lead us to another, and then another and then, hopefully, something useful. That didn’t happen, though.