Letting Go (Holding On Book 2)

by Jolie, Meg

  Quinn shyly nodded anyway as Luke slid his arm around her waist.

  “Oh, you guys!” She kept her voice low, so as not to draw attention, but her tone was full of excitement. “I’m so happy for you! How long have you been together? And Quinn,” she said as she gave her a gentle nudge, “why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Well,” Luke said as he shifted uncomfortably, “this is actually our first date.”

  Lily began shaking her head. “Then we can’t intrude!” She looked at Nate. “We can go somewhere else. We knew we’d be taking a chance with seating here.”

  Quinn glanced at Luke but he gave her a look that said it was clearly her call. “No, Lily, we’d love it if you joined us. I haven’t seen you in such a long time.”

  “But…but…” Lily stammered. “It’s your first date! You don’t want us to crash your date. No one wants their first date to be a double date.”

  “It’s fine,” Luke said. “Really. I’ll just have to take her out again tomorrow.” He looked at Quinn and winked. She felt her heart sputtering even as she smiled at his suggestion. “And I plan on taking her out a whole lot of other nights too.”

  “Well, if you’re really sure,” Lily said. Her tone sounded undecided.

  “Please,” Quinn said. “It would be so much fun to catch up with you.”

  Nate and Lily both nodded and the hostess called Luke’s name. Luke went to speak with her, confirming that it was alright to add two more patrons. It was and she seated them all.

  “See, this isn’t bad at all,” Luke whispered in her ear. “Now you can sit next to me all night instead of across from me.” His hand found hers under the table. He twisted his fingers around hers and gave them a squeeze. The small gesture felt surprisingly intimate.

  The couples made small talk as they perused the menu. Lily asked for updates on Carter. Then she spent several minutes looking at the pictures Quinn carried in her wallet.

  The conversation turned to their careers. Lily loved her position as a third grade teacher. Nate had a good first year running his parents’ furniture store. They were ready to relinquish it to him soon. Luke’s family’s business was still doing well, too. The past summer had been exceptionally busy now that the economy had perked up a bit. He was just finishing their last big, out of town job. They were doing the wiring for a new hospital wing. After that, he would only be working locally through the winter.

  Quinn smiled as she listened to them all. She didn’t regret taking the year off, being a stay at home mom. But she had an accounting degree and she wanted to use it. She didn’t realize until she listened to them talk about their jobs that maybe she was ready to do just that. She wasn’t in a rush, but the thought was suddenly there.

  After the waitress returned with their drinks and took their orders, Quinn slid out of the booth.

  “I should go wash my hands before our meals come,” she said.

  “Good idea,” Lily agreed. She got out and followed Quinn.

  As soon as the bathroom door swished shut behind them, Lily gave Quinn a cautious smile.

  “I get that this is your first date,” Lily said. “But catch me up. What did I miss? How did this happen?”

  Quinn told her everything, right up to the toe-curling kiss.

  “Quinn, I am so happy for you,” Lily said.

  Quinn hesitated and then asked, “You don’t think it’s strange? Me and Luke together?”

  Lily made a genuinely surprised face. “Strange? No. I don’t think there’s anything more natural than you and Luke. I’m so excited that you’re finally ready to date again. You look happy. He looks happy.” She paused as she squirted some soap into her hand. “That makes me happy.”

  Quinn washed her own hands and then smiled at her friend. “Thank you.”

  Lily nodded as she finished up. She looked at Quinn with concern. “It doesn’t feel weird to you, does it?”

  Quinn slowly shook her head. “Not when I’m with him. When we’re together, it feels really right. It’s when we’re apart. My mind starts to wander.”

  “You let it go places it shouldn’t,” Lily correctly guessed.

  Quinn nodded guiltily. “Sometimes.”

  “You need to stop that,” Lily commanded. “When those thoughts kick in, kick them out.”

  “I know,” Quinn agreed. “It’s just…the whole thing is kind of scary. On so many different levels. I mean, this is only our first date. I feel like I shouldn’t feel so much for him already. But when he kissed me,” Lily smiled and Quinn blushed, “I wouldn’t have minded doing that all night. I mean honestly Lily,” Quinn glanced toward the door, her already pink cheeks reddened and she whispered, “I wanted to rip his clothes right off!”

  They both burst into quiet giggles.

  “I shouldn’t feel that way already!” Quinn said.

  “Already? Quinn, apparently I need to remind you that you were ready to rip Luke’s clothes off all the way through high school. Part of college too. This isn’t exactly new,” Lily pointed out with a laugh. “The only thing new about it is that now you know he most likely wants to do the same to you. You didn’t know that before. You should just go with it.”

  Quinn wrinkled her nose. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I’m definitely right,” Lily assured her. “These feelings aren’t new. They’re just old ones that maybe disappeared for awhile. But,” she said with an uncharacteristically devious grin, “sounds to me like they’ll be back full-force soon if they aren’t already.”

  “I suppose we better get back out there,” Quinn said.

  Lily agreed and they slipped back out of the restroom. As they were walking back to the table Lily asked, “What do you two have planned after this?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure. He didn’t mention anything in particular.”

  “Why don’t you two come over when we’re done here? The guys can have a beer, we can continue to catch up.” Lily leaned in conspiratorially, knowing Quinn hated beer as much as she did. “I have some white zinfandel. I mean, as long as you’re already in town, why not?”

  “I’ll check with Luke, of course, but that does sound fun,” Quinn said.

  7

  “Thank you so much for letting Lily and Nate join us,” Quinn said to Luke. “I know they don’t live that far away. But everyone seems so busy all the time. I feel like I never see her anymore.”

  “I actually had a good time,” Luke said. “I really like her and Nate. It was fun to catch up with them.”

  He was glad that if they had to run into anyone, that it was them.

  “I was serious when I told Lily I’d like to take you out tomorrow,” Luke said. He held Quinn’s hands in his. They were standing in her entryway. It was late, nearly two in the morning and they’d just walked in. They’d stayed at Lily and Nate’s longer than they had planned. And then they’d had an hour long drive to contend with.

  Quinn scrunched her face up apologetically. “I don’t know.”

  His smile fell away and his heart lurched. He’d thought the night went well. Had Quinn felt differently? Was she turning him down for a second date already? Maybe she just thought they were moving too fast. Two nights in a row, was it too much? These thoughts were flying through his head as he quickly tried to think of a way to convince her that a second date was definitely in order.

  “I mean,” she said quickly, “I’d like to. It’s just that…well, I won’t have anyone to watch Carter tomorrow night. The Maltreuds fortieth wedding anniversary is tomorrow.” The Maltreuds lived down the block from the Johnsons. The McGraths had gotten to know them well years ago when they lived in the same neighborhood. “My mom and dad are going to the anniversary party and so are yours. I’ve never had a stranger watch him before. I know I probably should but,” she gave him a guilty look, “I just can’t bring myself to do it. Usually it’s not an issue because a grandma is always willing. But tomorrow, they both happen to be busy.”

  Luke felt instantly re
lieved. Her hesitation had nothing to do with not wanting to see him again so soon.

  “So really that’s not a problem at all. Can I just pick up a pizza and come over? It can be an informal date. There are a couple of hockey games on TV tomorrow night. We can pick one and just hang out.”

  “You don’t mind that Carter will be here?” Quinn asked.

  He gave her an offended look that was only slightly exaggerated. He squeezed her hands in his. “Quinn, I love that little guy. You know that.”

  “I know!” she was quick to say. “It’s not that. It’s just…”

  Luke released one of her hands and placed a finger under her chin. He tilted her face up to look at him. He wanted what they had to be a forever kind of thing. He loved her. He’d told her as much at the most inopportune time; the night before she married his brother. He hadn’t meant to. No one needed that kind of heartbreak or humiliation. But the words had slipped out and there had been no taking them back.

  Now, he loved her still. Last weekend he had reminded her of that, though maybe he shouldn’t have. He wanted to let things happen slowly. Naturally. He didn’t want to push her or rush her. He also did not want to let her slip away. Not again.

  Things had changed now. It was no longer just Quinn. She had Carter now. He needed her to know that he knew that. He realized it and wholeheartedly accepted it. He was just going to be careful not to press the issue. Not yet.

  Instead, he chose his words carefully.

  “It’s just that normally you wouldn’t have your toddler be part of your second date?” She nodded. “Well,” he said softly, “nothing about this is ‘normal’. I’m not just anyone. Since I’ve been working out of town, I’ve hardly seen him. I’d love to spend the evening with both of you. If you’re okay with that?”

  Quinn let out a small breath of relief. Luke hoped she realized that he was right. Nothing about this was normal. They didn’t have to play by ‘normal’ rules.

  “You know, Carter adores you,” she said with a smile. “So, I think he’d like that. And yes, I’d like it, too. An evening in with my two favorite guys sounds perfect.”

  Luke’s grin was instantaneous. “Besides,” he said, “there will be other weekends. And weeknights, too, if you want, for just you and I. We should be finishing the hospital this week. In fact, I’m going to push my crew to be sure we finish this week. Then we can get together whenever we want. If we can go out alone, that’s great. If Carter is with us, that’s fine, too. I just want to be with you, Quinn.”

  “He does go to bed awfully early,” Quinn admitted in a teasing tone.

  “Then it’s a plan. I’m supposed to look at a few houses tomorrow afternoon but I’ll come over around dinner time,” he said.

  “You’re still not finding anything you like?”

  He shook his head. “No. It would help if I knew what I’m looking for. I was actually thinking I should maybe just rent an apartment like I did in Baxter. I mean, I don’t really need a house. But then if I do that, I might as well just rent from Jesse. He doesn’t seem to mind. And I’m kind of settled in. But the realtor called me and had a few he wants me to look at so I might as well.”

  “Well, good luck tomorrow,” she said.

  “Thanks.” He glanced around, as if noticing just how quiet and dark the house was. “Are you going to be okay here? I know this is your first night without Carter.”

  She nodded and tried to look convincing. She’d never spent the night alone before. Not ever. She’d either lived with her parents, in the dorms, with Jake or after Jake was gone, Luke had stayed. And then Carter had been born. The house would be so quiet with no one else in it. “I’ll be fine. I’ll set the security system, like I always do.”

  Luke nodded, even though Quinn hadn’t been all that persuasive. He’d had the system installed last fall. He still didn’t like Quinn and Carter out in the country all alone but it gave him at least a little peace of mind to know that she had some protection.

  “I’m glad you use it. But do you think maybe…” He trailed off, wondering how she would take his request. It was an impulsive thought. One he wondered if he should immediately squash. “Or maybe,” he said, pushing ahead, “I could just stay? I don’t want to leave you out here all alone. It’s so late. It doesn’t feel right. I can sleep in my clothes. Or on top of the covers,” he paused. “Or even out on the couch if that’s what you prefer.” That would not be a first. He’d spent a good month sleeping on her couch last fall, before Carter was born.

  Her smile was full of indecision. She shook her head, took a breath and then gave him a small shrug. “It is late. I’d like it if you stayed. You don’t have to sleep on the couch, or on top of the covers. You can sleep in whatever you’re comfortable in.”

  He raised his eyebrows and grinned. She laughed as she pulled her hands away and gave him a nudge. “As long as you keep something on!” she decided.

  “Okay,” he laughed. “I think I can manage that.”

  He hadn’t really thought she’d say yes.

  Not long after that, they were both curled up in Quinn’s bed. Luke was in just his boxers. Quinn was in another pair of flannel pajamas. As much as he wanted to start something, he knew that the timing was probably not right. The last thing he wanted to do was to make her regret her decision.

  She clicked off the bedside lamp and he waited, wondering what she would do next. She leaned over and gave him a kiss. It wasn’t as heated as the one in the kitchen but it wasn’t exactly an innocent kiss either. He ran his fingers through her hair, holding her to him until the kiss faded out.

  Then as she started to back away, he looped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest.

  “Is this okay?” he asked.

  She rolled onto her side as she rested her head in the crook of his arm. “Yes,” she said as she wrapped one of her arms around him. “This actually feels really nice. You have no idea how nice.”

  He gave her a little squeeze as they both laid there in the darkness of the bedroom. He was exhausted after a long, hard work week. He was sure Quinn was tired too. That didn’t stop her from running her hand up and down his arm. She let out a little sigh even as she burrowed in a little tighter.

  ~*~*~

  “Oh,” Luke groaned out the word. “This is like heaven.”

  Quinn let out a little giggle. “I agree. Waking up with you—”

  “No, I mean, I think I smell coffee,” Luke teased.

  Quinn swatted him but didn’t pull away from him quite yet. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in so long. Before Carter was born, of that, she was certain. She’d been awake for awhile now. But she hadn’t wanted to move. For a split second she wondered what she’d been thinking, letting Luke spend the night. Then she reminded herself she was an adult and letting him sleep over was perfectly justified. Especially since that was pretty much all they’d done.

  “Modern technology,” she said. “My coffee pot has a timer. Carter wakes up early. The scent of coffee helps me get out of bed. It’s been done for awhile, though. I honestly can’t remember the last time I slept in this long.”

  “Is it nice?” Luke asked as he squeezed her into his arms.

  She hummed against his chest. “So nice. I could stay here all day but I suppose I shouldn’t. You have houses to look at. I’ve got a kiddo to pick up.”

  “How about if we have breakfast first,” Luke suggested. “I can help make it.”

  Quinn raised an eyebrow at him as she pulled just far enough away to prop herself up on an elbow. Luke was a notoriously bad cook.

  He shot her an offended look. “Pancakes? I can handle pancakes,” he paused. “I mean, I can if you have a mix to use. You don’t make them from scratch do you?”

  She smiled over at him. He was twenty-four, like she was. He should be too old to look so adorable. But that’s exactly what she thought as she took in his rumpled hair and boyish grin. “I do both. But I have mix so if you really want to, that
would be great.”

  “Okay,” he agreed. “I’m just going to run out to my truck. I still have my duffel bag in there from being out of town this week. I’m just going to grab some clothes.”

  She nodded and when he crawled out of bed, she followed. She slid her feet into some pink fuzzy slippers and then brushed her teeth. She didn’t bother changing just yet. Once in the kitchen, she poured two mugs of coffee.

  Luke joined her a few minutes later. He was wearing sweats and had thrown on a t-shirt. He’d done nothing with his hair and it made Quinn smile. As she was pulling two plates out of the cupboard, he swooped in for a kiss. He tasted like her cinnamon toothpaste and she clung to him, enjoying his morning greeting.

  “Okay,” he said as he pulled away. “Let’s get started.”

  She took out some sausage as he got started on the pancakes. She tried not to feel strange about this. Cooking together had been her thing to do with Jake. It was odd; cooking with Luke. For one thing, she knew he wasn’t much of a cook. But also, it was strange to see him in her and Jake’s kitchen. She bit her lip and hung her head as she turned on the stovetop. She had to stop thinking that. Luke’s offer was really sweet. She did not need to spoil it by letting herself get caught up in old memories.

  She needed to make new memories.

  It just felt a little…strange to be doing that in her and Jake’s kitchen.

  It shouldn’t be that hard to get used to. Of all the changes she’d had to deal with this past year, seeing Luke cooking in her kitchen should not be that hard. She pushed the guilty feelings away and tried to clear her head as they continued with their cooking.

  “When do you need to pick up Carter?” Luke asked when they were finally seated at the table.

  Quinn gave him a delicate one shouldered shrug. “Your mom said anytime was fine.”

  “But,” Luke said with a smile, “I assume you’d rather get him sooner than later?”

  She smiled back and nodded.

  “Yeah, I get that. First night away and all. Well, as soon as we’re done here, I can head out.”