Letting Go (Holding On Book 2)

by Jolie, Meg

  Quinn’s smile was huge. “No, Luke, I’m serious. I love it! You’re right, the kitchen was amazing! The rock fireplace is gorgeous. I could go into the master suite and never come back out again. Did you see that shower?”

  He couldn’t help but laugh. “I think you might like it even more than I do.”

  “You were right, though. It is kind of big,” she admitted.

  “Maybe we can hire a cleaning lady. I mean, you know, when the time comes. That’s what I meant by ‘we’,” he sputtered.

  “I know what you meant. That’s not what I meant, though,” she said as she gently nudged his arm. The realtor had squeezed them in on a Friday afternoon. Now they were headed to Baxter to meet Nate and Lily for pizza and then a hockey game. A snowstorm was in the forecast but it wasn’t supposed to start until much later. Even still, large flakes were already starting to come down. “It’s just that four bedrooms are kind of a lot.”

  He threw her another look as he tapped the steering wheel absentmindedly. Finally he said, “We could fill up the other bedrooms. Not right away,” he was quick to add. “But someday.”

  Quinn’s heart fluttered. “You want kids.”

  “Well, yeah,” Luke said, sounding flustered. “Someday. I mean, you want more. Right? Carter should have a brother or sister. Unless you don’t want more?”

  “No, it’s not that,” Quinn said, smiling. “I definitely do. I guess when you think of it that way, four bedrooms really aren’t that many. I mean, if Carter has a brother or sister someday.” She was surprised at the rush of excitement, of happiness, that coursed through her at the thought. She’d always wanted more kids but hadn’t let her mind go there in a very long time. “Wow,” she breathed out the word.

  “What?” Luke asked. “Is this too much? We’re probably not ready for this conversation yet. I’m pushing things too far.”

  “Just the opposite, actually,” Quinn admitted. “When we lost Jake, everything felt like such a struggle. Sometimes, even taking one day at a time felt like too much. Looking into the future was almost impossible. But these past few months, you’ve really changed that. Now, I like looking into the future. It doesn’t seem so scary and empty anymore. In fact, it doesn’t seem scary or empty at all.” She paused, letting a realization take hold. “In fact, I’m actually looking forward to it.”

  “Yeah?” Luke asked with a smile.

  “Definitely.”

  “Good,” he said, “because so am I. Hey, speaking of the future, have you heard back from Bergstrom’s?” They were a small, locally owned pharmacy.

  Now that Quinn had decided it was time to go back to work, she’d been keeping an eye out for something she was interested in. Jobs in a small town like Lanford weren’t always easy to find. However, she had applied for a few and had been excited about her interview.

  “I did hear back, actually,” she admitted sheepishly.

  “And…what? You forgot to tell me?” Luke demanded. “Come on Quinn! I’m sure your interview was awesome. What did they have to say?”

  “They offered me the job.”

  “What? That’s great!” Luke exclaimed. Then he took a good look at Quinn’s face. He was barely able to make out her expression in the dismal lighting of the gray evening. “It’s not great? You don’t look happy. Why isn’t it great?”

  “Because initially it was supposed to be for part-time. That’s why I was so excited about it. But now, they’ve reconsidered. I guess they’re thinking of expanding in the next year or so. They want to open an adjoining flower shop. How those two businesses blend together, I’m not sure. They offered me the position but it’s full-time. I really don’t want that.” She laughed. “I know how bad that sounds. I want to work. I just don’t want to work too much.”

  “It doesn’t sound bad at all. It sounds like you have priorities. Carter is your top priority and he should be,” Luke said decisively.

  “Not only that, but now that your mom is retired, she’s insistent that she wants to watch Carter for me when I go back to work. She’s told me she wouldn’t mind watching him full-time but I would never ask her to do that. I mean, she’s retired. I know she loves having him but I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I know I could put him in daycare but I’m just not ready for that yet,” she said.

  “I get all that,” Luke told her. “But you’re still good, financially, right?” She nodded. “Then take your time. The right thing will come along.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “I know. I’m fortunate I don’t have to worry about that.” Jake had made sure of it.

  “Just so you know, Mom would take Carter every day and love it,” Luke said with a smirk. “And now that she’s retired, Dad seems to be getting anxious to retire too. I don’t think it’s going to be long. Between the two of them, they’d keep Carter plenty busy.”

  “How do you feel about that? Your dad retiring?” Quinn asked.

  Luke shrugged, knowing what she was asking. Was he ready to handle the business on his own? “It’ll be fine. I figured he wouldn’t last too long after Mom.”

  “So,” Quinn said as she redirected the conversation. “The house? What do you think you’re going to do about it? Are you going to put in an offer?”

  Luke took one look at her and laughed. “I think I might. You know I liked the house all along. But knowing you like it too…Yeah, I think I want it. I still need to think it over some more. Luckily, this time of year, I don’t think I need to worry about it selling out from under me. But yeah, I’m definitely leaning that way.”

  “You know, Jesse had a good point,” Quinn said. “This is a horrible time of year to move.” She motioned out the window. The snowfall had picked up substantially.

  “Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have a lot of stuff,” Luke said with a laugh. He’d moved around a fair amount the past few years so he hadn’t acquired nearly as much as he could have. He was so relieved that Quinn liked the house. He’d been afraid she wouldn’t. The reason had nothing to do with the house itself. He’d been worried that she wouldn’t want to leave the house she and Jake had gotten together. He knew it would be a big step. A huge step. But she didn’t seem afraid to take it.

  Not that either of them were quite ready for that yet, but he hoped they would be soon. Moving out of Jesse’s, he realized, was something he should’ve done some time ago. If he and Quinn didn’t have plans for the evening, they always ended up at her house. He needed a place of his own to bring her to because he didn’t want to interfere with Jesse’s personal life. Not that he had much left of it, at the moment, from what he could tell.

  For months on end, the only thing that could bring a smile to Quinn’s face was Carter. Now, her laughter was back. She seemed like her old self again. While she’d grown and matured, she was still the girl he’d fallen in love with.

  He wanted to be responsible for putting a smile on her face every single day. He wanted to be making new memories with Quinn. He just didn’t want to do it in his brother’s house. There was a reason Betsy’s words from the week before had burned so badly. The truth, Luke knew, hurts sometimes. What Betsy had said to him closely mirrored the thoughts he had. Every day.

  She’d accused him of taking over his brother’s wife. He reminded himself constantly that he and Quinn had a connection that went years beyond her connection with Jake. And Carter, he couldn’t help that he loved Carter. It was impossible not to.

  The business belonged to their dad. That wasn’t Jake’s. Though someday soon, it would be all Luke’s. It was the one thing he didn’t feel guilty about.

  One thing she said that had gotten to him was her comment about Jesse. He didn’t need to be living with his brother’s best friend. Never mind that he and Jesse had always been decent friends as well.

  As for Jake’s house? No way was he going to move into his brother’s house. Not that Quinn had offered, and he was glad she hadn’t.

  “Luke?”

  “What? Sorry,” he said
as he snapped his gaze to her.

  “I asked if you’re okay. You got really quiet.”

  He nodded. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just concentrating on the road.”

  “I was really excited to see Lily but now I think this probably wasn’t a very good idea. I thought this storm wasn’t supposed to start for awhile,” Quinn said.

  “It’s not so bad,” Luke told her.

  “It might be by the time the game is over,” Quinn argued. “Maybe we should cancel?”

  “You’re cute when you worry.” She was biting her lip and she had a nervous wrinkle embedded between her brows. “But we’re almost there. And Nate already picked up our tickets. It’s not like we’re up in the mountains. We’ll be fine, traffic is light.”

  Quinn laughed at that. “Traffic is light because everyone else decided to stay home.”

  ~*~*~

  “If I was the type to say ‘I told you so,’ I’d totally be saying that right now!” Quinn exclaimed as Luke’s truck crunched through the snow, coming to a stop in front of her house.

  The storm had gotten progressively worse. By the time they’d gotten out of the game, all of the cars in the lot had been buried. Luke had tucked Quinn inside of his truck as it warmed. He’d then meticulously scraped the snow and ice away. The drive home had taken more than twice as long as normal.

  Luke laughed. “I told you I’d get us home safe and sound and I did. Besides, that game was amazing!” The game had gone into overtime with the Grizzlies pulling their goalie. They had barely pulled off their three to two win.

  “It was pretty fun,” Quinn agreed.

  “You looked like you had a good time with Lily,” Luke told her. “That alone was worth the drive. Nate’s a nice guy. I wouldn’t mind spending more time with them. We should plan something else soon.”

  “We should,” Quinn agreed. “I’ll talk to Lily. Hopefully we’ll pick a night when the weather is better.” She glanced at the dashboard clock. It was almost midnight. Her gaze lifted, looking out of the windshield as the headlights sliced through the night. The snow was still falling heavily. “Do you want to stay here?” she asked.

  “Uh…well, I don’t…do you…” Luke stammered. “Do you want me to?”

  She nodded. “It’s late. The roads are horrible. It’ll take you at least half an hour to get all the way back to Jesse’s. I’d worry the whole time, waiting to hear you got back safely.”

  He nodded when he saw the worried look on her face. He felt a little disappointed that she only wanted him to stay out of concern for his safety. Although, he decided, that was probably for the best. The last thing he wanted was to get carried away in his brother’s house. Inevitably in his brother’s bed. That was part of the reason he was always careful to leave at a reasonable time.

  “Sure,” he decided. “I’ll stay.”

  A half an hour later, he was thinking that he didn’t care if he was in his brother’s bed or not. What had started as a simple kiss good night had turned into something a whole lot more heated.

  He wasn’t entirely sure which of them had peeled Quinn’s cami off. Though if he had to guess, he’d say it was a joint effort. As for her panties, he was entirely sure it was his fault they were gone, though she hadn’t protested. His boxers had been the last to go. That, he was sure, had been all Quinn.

  Now she was lying beside him, her fingers flitting across his body, her teeth nipping at his neck. Her hand slid down, stroking him and he couldn’t contain his groan of pleasure. Her mouth met his again as she looped a leg around him, pulling him closer.

  He took that opportunity to run his hands across the bare skin of her backside. Then he moaned in defeat and pulled away. “We should stop,” he panted. “I mean, we need to stop.”

  “Why?” she asked. Her voice was breathless. Her hands continued to roam and his body tensed as she expertly wrapped her hand around him.

  “I don’t,” Luke said, his voice strained, as he grimaced into the darkness, “have anything with me.”

  Quinn’s hand slipped away as she put some space between them.

  “Oh. I don’t…um…have anything either.” She’d been on the pill the whole time she was with Jake. After Carter’s birth, with Jake gone, it had been pointless to go back on.

  Until now.

  Now she was desperately wishing she’d done something about it.

  Luke reached for her, his fingers grazing across her stomach.

  Quinn let out a disappointed little laugh. “Sorry, I wouldn’t have let things get this far. I just thought guys always had something with them. I guess that’s kind of a cliché.”

  Luke’s last two relationships had been of the long-term variety. First Tabitha, and then Ashley. They’d both been on the pill. It had been years since he’d had to bother with condoms. But damn, he wished he would’ve been more prepared. He just hadn’t wanted to get too far ahead of himself. He hadn’t imagined Quinn would be ready for that yet. In fact, he was still having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that she wanted him at all.

  Even though she made it quite clear, quite frequently. It all still felt too good to be true. He was afraid that if he let himself get too comfortable, too used to the idea, it would all go away.

  “Yeah, well, right about now, I’m wishing that was true,” he admitted. “I just didn’t see this happening tonight.”

  “Neither did I,” Quinn admitted.

  “So we’re probably not ready,” Luke said. He’d never waited so long to be with a woman before. Everything was so different with Quinn. He valued their friendship more than anything. If that meant taking things slow, not accidentally burning bridges, he was okay with that. If their relationship somehow didn’t work out in the end, he wanted to be sure that their friendship would still survive, unscathed.

  “Do you really think that?” she asked. “That we’re not ready?”

  She slid back over to him and he smiled to himself in the dark. He was definitely ready. Despite the nagging desire to take things slow, he pulled her into his arms. She didn’t hesitate as she wrapped herself around him once more.

  “I’m ready,” he admitted, even as he wondered if he should’ve left some space between them. Having her naked body pressed against his was causing an exquisite, throbbing ache, knowing he couldn’t have her, ready or not.

  “You poor thing,” Quinn muttered as she covered his chest in kisses. She moved her mouth up next to his ear. “Are you miserable?” she wondered.

  Her tone was teasing as she went back to the task of stroking him. He let out a laugh that turned into a groan. “Miserable in a good way.”

  “You know,” she said in between kisses, as she began working her way under the covers, “I could probably help with that.” Her body slid against his, her trail of kisses slow and maddening as she worked her way down, past his chest, across his stomach and then lower still.

  He let out a sound somewhere between a growl and a moan. “No. You don’t have—” Another groan erupted from his mouth when he realized that whether she had to or not…she was going to.

  And he’d be damned if he could muster up the motivation to stop her.

  11

  “You don’t think it’s too fast?” Quinn asked.

  Carly laughed. “Nothing about you and Luke is too fast. Nothing. Besides, he just had you look at the house. Right? He hasn’t actually asked you to move in yet. Or has he?” She squirmed in her seat, resting her elbows on the table as she leaned forward.

  “No,” Quinn admitted. Her phone chimed, indicating an incoming text. She glanced at it. “Jemma’s running late. She lost her keys but she’s almost here.”

  They had figured that much already, that she was running late. The three of them were meeting for lunch. Carly and Quinn had already gotten a table while they waited.

  “But it’s definitely implied,” Carly said as she kept the conversation on her sister. She’d decided to come home for the weekend since Nolan had family obligations.r />
  Quinn gave her a small smile that she couldn’t keep at bay. “Yeah, it’s implied,” she said as she glanced around the restaurant. They were having a late lunch so they’d missed the worst of the crowd. Still, this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have in public. Yet, it was better than having it while her mom was lurking. This was exactly why Carly had told Margo that she needed bonding time with her grandson. Then she’d called up Jemma and informed Quinn that the three of them had a lunch date.

  “How do you feel about that?” Carly wanted to know.

  “Good…mostly,” Quinn said. “I know I want a future with Luke. And certain things are inevitable, like moving out of my house. There’s just too much of Jake there. It’s not fair to ask Luke to move in.” She didn’t look at her sister as she said this. Instead, she fidgeted with the straw that was poking out of her glass of water. The ice clanked against the sides as she unnecessarily stirred.

  Carly nodded. “That makes sense. You need a place that’s just yours. Somewhere to make your own memories.”

  “I know,” Quinn said. “Maybe in some ways, it will be a relief to move. I think we both need a fresh start. Luke and I, we’ve both been through a lot. You know?” She shook her head. “I am getting way ahead of myself. Luke and I looked at a house. That’s all. As far as I know, he hasn’t even put in an offer on it.”

  “What do you mean as far as you know?”

  “He hasn’t said anything about it. I don’t want to pressure him either way.”

  “Quinn,” Carly gently began as she kept her voice low, “has it ever occurred to you that maybe Luke wouldn’t perceive that as pressure? Maybe he’d take it as encouragement. And honestly, we both know he has some insecurities when it comes to you. Some encouragement might be nice. I know I don’t know him as well as you do, but still, I’ve known him for a long time. I think maybe he’d like it if you told him that you are all for the idea.”

  Quinn tilted her head to the side, quizzically eyeing up her sister. “Maybe you’re right.”