Letting Go (Holding On Book 2)

by Jolie, Meg

  She started to explain but his fingers slid into her hair and he pulled her toward him, kissing her once more. This time, when his fingers became entangled with the strings of her top, she was ready to help him.

  A knock on the door abruptly stopped them both.

  Quinn sat back, her eyes widened in surprise.

  Luke let out a groan as he gently slid Quinn off.

  “It’s room service,” he explained. “I forgot I ordered dinner in.” He rose from the water, rivulets streamed down his body as he reached for a towel. Quinn leaned back, enjoying the sight of him as he got out. “I’ll be just a second,” he said.

  He came back in carrying a large silver tray.

  “I hope you don’t mind but I ordered for you,” he said.

  “Oh,” she said with a smile. “Another surprise?”

  “Crab stuffed shrimp? And a chocolate soufflé for dessert? I hope that’s okay?”

  “It’s perfect.” She got out of the water and they both put on the white, fluffy robes that the resort provided.

  Luke removed their meals from the covered platters and they each took a seat at the small table in the room.

  “I wish I would’ve thought to bring candles,” Luke said with a frown.

  “We don’t need candles,” Quinn assured him. “This meal smells heavenly.”

  “You know,” Luke said as they ate, “there’s something I need your help with.”

  Quinn looked at him intently. “Of course. Anything. What do you need?”

  He fidgeted with his fork for a moment and then glanced at her nervously. “I need your help picking out a ring.”

  “A ring?” Quinn echoed.

  He nodded slowly. “I know you like surprises. And I’d love to surprise you. But if I’m going to put a ring on your finger, and I am,” he assured her, “if you’ll let me, then I want to be sure you like it. Because I love you and once I put it on, it’s never coming off.”

  A wave of intense happiness coursed through Quinn. It was so intense it nearly took her breath away. “You want me to help you pick out an engagement ring?” she asked, unable to contain her smile.

  “If you’re ready for that?”

  She nodded slowly, letting his question sink in. She had no doubt about her answer. “I am.”

  “Okay,” he said as he breathed out a sigh of relief.

  “But Luke, you have to know I’d love anything you picked out. I would. No matter what,” she assured him.

  Luke laughed at that. “You say that. But I might have horrible taste. And I meant what I said. Once that ring is on, I don’t want it to ever come off. So it’s important to me that you like it.”

  “Okay,” Quinn said, happiness welling up inside of her. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll help you pick out a ring.”

  ~*~*~

  “The slopes are so beautiful at night,” Quinn said.

  After dinner, they’d decided to go for a walk. The hills were lit up at night and the resort looked postcard-perfect. The log-sided chalet stood out against the backdrop of the snow covered mountains. The chair lifts looked toy-sized off in the distance. The runs were dotted with specks of color as the nighttime skiers made their way down. They’d looped around the chalet and were making their way back to their room along a worn path.

  “I remember the first time I came here. I think we were in the fourth grade. Your family was always spending the weekend up here. I wanted to learn how to ski so badly. Your mom invited me along,” Quinn reminisced. “My mom almost didn’t let me go. She was afraid I’d break my leg. Or fall out of a chairlift. Your mom assured her I’d be fine.”

  Luke nodded. “I remember that. She made you promise to spend the entire day on the beginner’s slope. Of course you didn’t,” he said as he gave her a nudge.

  Quinn laughed. “That’s because Jake wouldn’t stop teasing us!” He had been in middle school. While he didn’t want to be seen with his grade school brother and a girl, he’d mocked them for being on the “baby hill”. “You promised to stay with me until I could handle the bigger hills. I felt bad that you were stuck on the little hill with me. No way was I going to make you stay there all day on my account.”

  “Yeah,” Luke said, smiling fondly at the memory, “in no time at all, you were a better skier than both of us. You really were a natural.”

  She laughed. “I don’t know about that. I think I was just stubborn.”

  They walked in silence for awhile, letting their memories surround them. When they were younger, Jake had relentlessly teased them over their friendship. When they got older, he’d started seeing Quinn differently. Jake had spent his childhood thinking of Quinn only as the pesky girl that hung around his brother. By the time they were in college, he’d decided Luke had it right all along.

  “It’s getting kind of cold,” Quinn said, pulling them both out of their memories. Her words were accentuated by a puff of frosty air. “Do you mind if we head back?”

  “I don’t mind at all,” Luke said. He grabbed her mitten covered hand as they trudged through the snow.

  Her teeth were chattering by the time they got back to the room. They peeled off their thick jackets. Luke went straight to the thermostat to turn up the heat.

  Quinn briefly thought about the lingerie she’d packed. It was something that Carly had picked out for her all of those months ago; the day she’d told Quinn she should take a chance on Luke. When she’d told Carly about their weekend plans, Carly had reminded her to pack it.

  But now, as Luke turned back around, Quinn was sure she didn’t want to bother with it.

  His cheeks were rosy from the cold. His hair was windblown. Despite her earlier chill, what melted her to her very core was the way he smiled at her when he caught her watching him. He moved toward her slowly.

  She stood in the same spot, her knees suddenly feeling too weak to move. When he reached her, his hand slowly slipped around her waist. He pulled her in, kissing her gently and she felt as though her knees had given out completely.

  She bunched up the bottom of his sweater in her hands, then slowly began to tug it upward, finally breaking the kiss so that she could slide it over his head. When they broke apart, he did the same, relieving her of her sweater as well.

  Their jeans came next, peeling off just as slowly. Once they were gone, Quinn pulled Luke backward, next to her on the bed. She’d already peeled the covers back and once they were settled in, Luke tugged them back up around them.

  His hands skimmed across her waist. Then his thumbs brushed across her the silk of her panties. Quinn’s motions weren’t quite as subtle. With Luke propped above her, she peeled his boxers off and tossed them onto the floor.

  “You know we don’t have to, right?” Luke asked. “I mean, that’s not why I brought you here. I just wanted to spend time with you. I wanted you to have a weekend away, just have some time to relax. We used to love to ski. But I don’t want you to think I brought you here because I was expecting something.”

  Quinn groaned. “Luke, would you please stop worrying so much? I. Want. To. Do I need to send you an engraved invitation?” she teased. Before he could respond she continued. “Of if I tell you I went on the pill after…well, you know, the night we had to stop…would that convince you that this is something I want?”

  “You went on the pill?” Luke asked.

  She laughed. “I thought that might get your attention.”

  “Why didn’t you say something?” he wondered.

  “Because it takes awhile for it to be effective. It seemed pointless to bring it up before it actually worked,” she said.

  “Is it effective now?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  That was all he needed to hear. He kissed her as he removed her bra. She lifted her hips so he could remove the last piece of clothing from her body. Her hands roamed across his back, pulling him closer. She had been so cold not that long ago. Now her body felt like it was on fire. Everywhere that Luke’s mo
uth touched came to life in a blaze. In no time, she was gasping for ar.

  “I love you, Quinn.”

  “I love you, too,” she assured him. “But can we just go slow?” She was nowhere near being a virgin. But it had been awhile. Over a year and she didn’t know what to expect.

  “Oh, Quinn,” he said as he kissed his way down her stomach. “I plan on it,” he said as he moved over and nibbled on the inside of her thigh.

  He was deliciously close to being where she wanted him. She was nearly whimpering, ready to plead.

  When he moved once more, kissing her center, she cried out in surprise at the sudden explosion of sensation.

  “I plan on taking in every inch of you. Slowly,” he whispered.

  She cried out again and suddenly, going slow was the very last thing on her mind.

  14

  Luke realized Quinn was gone before he even opened his eyes. Regardless, his hand shot out, feeling around on her side of the bed. In an instant he was sitting. He listened, wondering if she was in the bathroom getting ready but he didn’t hear anything. He glanced at the clock. It was a little after seven. With the thick drapes drawn and the sun barely up, the room was gloomy and gray.

  He flopped back onto his pillow and raked a hand through his hair.

  The memory of being buried inside of her last night flooded over him. The reality had exceeded every fantasy he’d ever had. And he’d had hundreds of fantasies about Quinn over the years. Not one of them compared to what it had felt like to have her legs wrapped around him, her fingernails digging into his shoulders or her frantic, choppy pleading for more right next to his ear.

  As amazing as all of that was, what he knew he could never get enough of was the way Quinn felt in his arms afterwards. The way she clung to him until she finally drifted off. She had clung to him as though, just maybe, she never wanted to let him go. And that had been more amazing, more fulfilling than anything he could ever have dreamed up.

  But now that morning had dawned he wondered if she was regretting it. Because why would she leave without telling him? He let out a frustrated growl and then threw the covers off. He hoped he hadn’t pushed her too hard. Maybe she hadn’t been ready for a weekend away. Or maybe he shouldn’t have brought up buying her a ring. He should’ve taken things slower. One step at a time. But he’d told her about the house and his plans for a ring and maybe it was all too overwhelming.

  He should’ve left talk about the ring for later. He still needed to decide on a way to propose. While the ring wouldn’t be a secret, he at least wanted the proposal itself to be a surprise. But maybe now, that wasn’t even a concern.

  Was it possible that she wasn’t ready and now she regretted their evening?

  He rummaged through his bag, pulling out a pair of sweats. As he was dressing, he cursed himself for sleeping like a rock. He should’ve heard her go. This was not the way he wanted either of them to start their morning. With him here, alone, and Quinn…That was the problem. He didn’t know where she was.

  An ache welled up in his chest. If he’d ruined things with her, he was never going to forgive himself. He knew he needed to go look for her but he wasn’t even sure where to start. At least her suitcase was still in the room. For one wild, crazy second he’d been afraid she’d gone, possibly having had Carly or Lily come get her. His heart slowed just a little at that reassurance that she was there.

  He was wrestling his way into a t-shirt when he heard the jiggling of the doorknob. He rushed over to the door, pulling it open, causing Quinn to gasp in surprise. She was balancing a tray in one hand and holding a key card and a pastry bag in the other.

  “You’re awake!”

  “Yeah,” Luke said, “you’re back. Where did you go?”

  She held up the white paper bag and the two cups of coffee that were seated in a tray. He’d been so frantic he hadn’t noticed what she was holding. She stepped into the room as Luke moved aside. He took the food from her and placed it on the table.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  She smiled at the concerned look on his face. “Well, to be honest, after last night, I’m starving.” Luke didn’t miss the way she blushed. “I had to go hunt down some food. I managed to find some chocolate croissants and coffee.” She tilted her head to the side, noticing for the first time how distraught he looked. “Were you worried?”

  He shrugged and gave a weak nod. “I just wasn’t sure where you went. When I woke up and you were just gone…okay, yeah. I was worried.”

  She moved toward him, readily sliding her arms around his neck. “Why? Why were you worried?”

  He pulled her into a hug, enjoying the feel of her body against his. “I wasn’t sure why you left. I thought maybe you were upset about last night.”

  She pulled back slightly, frowning at him. “Why would I be…?” She shook her head, coming to her own conclusions. “No, I’m not upset. Last night…it was everything I ever thought it would be.”

  Finally, Luke was able to pull a smile onto his face. “You’ve thought about it?”

  She swatted him playfully. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, grinning hugely now. “Maybe because it’s you. And me…and I didn’t realize you ever thought that way.”

  “Yes, Luke, I’ve thought about it.”

  “That is such a turn-on,” he muttered. His fears from minutes ago evaporated now that Quinn was in his arms again.

  “Did you?” she teased. “Think about us, I mean?”

  He rolled his eyes at her. “Do you really want to know? Because I’ll tell you right now, you were the focus of my first fantasy and almost every other one after that since I was like eleven.”

  “Eww,” Quinn said with a giggle as she lightly smacked his chest.

  “Okay,” he amended, “if I lied and said I was at least fifteen, would that make you feel better?”

  “Yes,” she said as she puffed out a laugh. “A little bit better.”

  He pulled her in and began to nibble his way along her collarbone. She giggled as she pushed him away.

  “None of that right now. I wasn’t kidding. After last night, I’m starving.” She stepped aside and reached for the bag.

  “I should’ve been out getting you breakfast,” Luke said.

  “No, you were sleeping. I’m used to waking up early. Coffee?” She handed him a cup. Then she pulled multiple croissants out of the bag as they both took a seat at the small table. She placed one on a napkin for each of them. “Oh, they’re still warm.” She moaned when she took a bite.

  “You moan like that and tell me not right now?” Luke teased with raised eyebrows.

  She waved her croissant at him. “Try it and you’ll understand.”

  He grinned at her as she took a bite. “Mmm, yeah, these are awesome,” he agreed. “How many did you get?”

  “Half a dozen,” Quinn said as she reached for her second one.

  He laughed. “How hungry are you?”

  “Hungry,” she assured him. They ate in silence but after a few minutes, a small giggle erupted from Quinn. “Were you serious? Was I really your first fantasy?”

  Luke groaned but didn’t deny it. “Of course I was serious. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t wanted you.”

  She nodded, smiling as she chewed.

  “In fact, senior year, when you and Mason…” He trailed off as a scowl appeared on his face.

  Her eyebrows shot up. “You knew about Mason?” Mason was the only other person besides Jake, and now Luke, that she’d been with. They’d dated most of senior year and even into their freshman year of college.

  “Yeah, I knew about Mason,” Luke said. “I wanted to tear him to pieces.”

  “How did you know?” Quinn demanded.

  Luke shrugged. “Guys talk too, you know. Before you get all huffy, don’t even try to tell me that you didn’t tell Jemma and Lily and probably even Carly. It’s kind of a double standard if you talk and then really ex
pect him not to. I mean, he and I were friends. He was bound to tell me. Even if I didn’t want to hear it.”

  He was right so she didn’t argue. “I know. It just still seems wrong,” she pouted.

  He laughed. “See, double standard. But don’t worry. It wasn’t like he was bragging it up or anything. We were friends, he mentioned it.”

  Quinn cringed.

  “Damn was I jealous,” Luke admitted. “Even back then, I thought you were the hottest girl out there.” He winked at her. “I thought so then, still do now.”

  Quinn shook her head. “Talking about it, it’s so crazy. I was so head over heels for you in high school. I never had the faintest idea you felt the same way.”

  “Yeah, looking back, I really should’ve said something,” Luke told her as he stuffed the last of his croissant into his mouth.

  Quinn wasn’t sure how to answer that, so she remained silent. If Luke had confessed his feelings all of those years ago, he would’ve made her so happy to hear it. But if he had, she never would’ve been with Jake. She never would’ve had several wonderful years with Jake that had resulted in Carter.

  The other side of that was that she might’ve missed out on at least a little of the heartache she felt after Jake’s death.

  “You know, Luke, I’ve thought about that, a lot,” she finally admitted. She took a sip of her coffee and then set it down. She lifted her gaze to meet his. “I think things worked out the way they were meant to. I mean, how many high school relationships last? Not many. But now, we’re older. We’ve been through a lot. I know without a doubt that you are one of the most important people in my life. You always will be.”

  He smiled at that. “So you’re glad we didn’t start anything back then?”

  “Maybe. We were young. We probably just would’ve found a way to ruin things back then. Not just a dating relationship, but we might’ve ruined our friendship.”

  “But that’s not going to happen now.”

  It wasn’t a question so Quinn just smiled.

  “Okay, enough of the serious talk. What time do you want to hit the slopes?” Luke asked.