Queen Alpha (NYC Mecca Series Book 2)
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I hugged my arms to keep from touching him. Why did this have to be so hard? I didn’t want to feel this way forever. It was too much.
“I’m fine. He gave me a warning though.”
“A warning?” Kade’s voice was husky as he awaited my reply.
I nodded, bobbing my head like a creepy doll. “I need to fix the mecca and send the stolen energy back to the Otherworld, or the Summer Court and all their people and food will die off. If that happens, the Winter Court will come to Earth, kill us all, and take over.”
He forced a smile, but it was more bared teeth. “No big deal, right?”
I huffed. “Right! So I‘m here, with my mecca expert, asking for help.”
Kade’s eyes twinkled. “Mecca expert, huh?”
I shook my head at him. “Don’t let it go to your head. I had to say something to convince him there was a shot at keeping his entire race from dying out. At least now the Summer Court is still holding onto some hope that we can fix this, which means they continue to battle our enemy and slow their takeover of Earth.”
I bit my bottom lip, which was a bad habit from when I was younger. Kade’s eyes darkened as he followed that movement. Crap. I knew there was a reason to not bite my lips, it created cliché moments like this where kissing that damn bear was all I could think about. I needed to squash this before it could heat up and get us both into more trouble with our people.
Freeing my lip, I said in a rush, “Just forget that kiss, okay? It was a mistake.” The words hurt more than I thought they would, and when his face hardened and eyes went flat, I wanted to take them back.
“Arianna,” he said slowly, “for as long as I live, I will never forget kissing you.”
Then, for some stupid hormonal idiotic reason, my eyes filled with tears. The hard planes of Kade’s face softened and he reached for me, but knowing if he touched me I’d completely break apart, I shook off some of my agony and schooled my face, faking a coughing fit. I ran for the house.
Finn was right with me. What are you doing?
I took a hard right, and through pure luck found the bathroom right off the sitting room. Finn and I snaked inside and I locked the door as a new wave of tears fell down my face.
I huddled closer to my familiar. I have no idea what’s wrong with me, I wailed through our mental connection. I think it’s the stress. I didn’t think being queen would be this hard.
My best friend peered up at me with wise yellow eyes.
If you’re being truly honest, it’s not being queen that’s much harder than you expected. It’s falling for the bear king.
I let that truth settle into my head and heart. He was right in some ways. I definitely liked Kade – he was gorgeous, funny, a good kisser, and powerful. But so were Ben, Victor, and Blaine, and a lot of other guys – wolf-shifter-guys who were available to me. I just needed to focus my flirting and energy on a man I could actually have. Damn that treeling for giving me even one second of hope. Hope was a strange thing. Once it found its way into your heart, your soul, it was almost impossible to get it out. But it was a false hope and I’d do well to remember that.
“Arianna, open the door.”
Kade’s heavy fist fell against the bathroom door. I could sense his impatience and worry. He banged again, the heavy wooden door rattling on its poor abused hinges.
“Hang on,” I said, with a bit of snarl. I would not fall apart in front of him again. Walking to the sink, I washed my hands and splashed water on my face, before patting it dry with a clean, folded hand towel.
Once I was satisfied that my face looked like I hadn’t been crying, I knelt and looked Finn in the eyes. No more talk of caring for the bear king. I will not be remembered as the queen who chose a fling over her duty and people.
Because I was starting to think that’s what the Red Queen had done, and look where that had left us all – completely screwed and at the mercy of a race far stronger than us. I would not let this thing with Kade become anything real. I was done. Today. Now.
I tore open the bathroom door to find Kade standing right on the other side. He had not moved an inch from when he was banging. The intensity he was exuding almost knocked me on my butt.
“Are you okay?” he asked, not backing up even an inch. His tone was all business, but his eyes were not. They were warm and caressing.
“I’m fine. Just had an attack of allergies.”
He didn’t move. This was it. Now or never, I had to choose: my heart or my people. The next words came out in a strangled rush. “Kade, there’s something I need to tell you.”
He didn’t move, and his expression didn’t change, but I sensed wariness in him. “You can tell me anything.”
Do it, Arianna. Now! I told myself.
“I’m taking a mate.”
Kade’s hard expression remained. Just the slightest twitch in the corner of his eye gave away a deeper emotion. His reply was slightly glacial. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Then he just turned around and walked away.
I blinked a few times, the hard pressure on my chest increasing as his broad back disappeared out of the house. Crap. What had I done?
Ari… Finn started.
Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. Luckily we could speak mentally, because there was no way I’d have been able to speak out loud around the lump in my throat.
I needed to shove this painful searing in my chest way down and not think about it ever again. I needed to move on and focus on what was important – fixing the mecca and taking care of my people. After taking a few measured and deep breaths, I slowly walked out into the back yard. Monica and Violet were standing with Gerald. All three of them wore neutral expressions, but I kind of knew they’d heard everything.
I cleared my throat. “Where’s Kade?”
Gerald showed none of his usual warmth as he addressed me. “King Kade shifted and went for a run. I’ll escort you home now, Your Highness.”
Just like that I was no longer welcome here, no longer allowed to be on friendly terms with the king. It was an uncomfortable drive back to the vortex. No one said a word. I’d upset Kade. I accepted my part in his ire, but we still needed to fix the mecca or we would both be screwed. Besides, when he had a chance to calm down, he would realize that what I had done was for the best. We’d been skirting around this stuff, flirting with disaster, letting the lines get blurred. It was time for one of us to make a stand.
Before I knew it we had arrived at the vortex and Gerald was escorting me out. When we reached the door, I wanted to say something, anything, to ease this uncomfortable situation that I had created. I opened my mouth but Gerald spoke first: “King Kade will meet you tomorrow morning at your estate to work on the fae issue,” he said, and then bowed slightly before walking away.
My lip quivered a little and I wanted to cry all over again.
“Your Majesty?” Monica called out to me. I turned to find her standing with Violet and Finn at the vortex.
My best friend stepped closer to me, slipping her hand into mine. My aching heart clenched; her support was enough to send me over the emotional cliff again, so with one final squeeze I let her hand go.
Straightening my shoulders, I took a few deep and steadying breaths. It was time for me to be the queen shifter I had been born to be, time for me to get over my heartache, over the subtle but distinct rejection from Gerald.
Life was hard. Not everyone liked you. That didn’t mean you had to let it ruin your day. Shaking off the drama with the king, I traveled back to Manhattan to do what I was meant to do since the day I was born. Be a queen to my people.
Chapter Seven
Love is like magic, volatile, beautiful, and scary.
After we arrived back at Manhattan, I called a private formal meeting with Calista. If I was going to do this, I needed to dive right in before I chickened out. I remembered my mother telling me at a very young age that sometimes the best queens made the most s
acrifices. When you died, your legacy only lived on in rumors and history of the time you ruled. The Red Queen’s history was already beginning to be tainted by her rumors of a fae affair and love gone wrong. I didn’t want that happening to me, to the red line.
Calista tapped lightly on the door.
“Come in,” I called out, my palms sweating from nerves.
Calista walked through, clutching her tablet to her chest. “Your Majesty, you called for a formal meeting?” She was dressed in black slacks and a silk top, wearing her nice leather loafers.
“Sit down.” I gestured to the large overstuffed chair in my office.
She sat and stared at me, probably wondering what the hell I was doing calling a formal meeting with my own advisor and close friend. I’d never done anything like this before, but protocol was important to the wolves, and I wanted to be seen doing all the right things.
I tried to keep my voice strong but it shook anyway: “I’m ready to take a mate.”
Calista’s face lit up with joy and surprise. “Oh! I wasn’t expecting that. Wonderful!”
She hunched over her tablet and began typing notes. A queen declaring she was open to a mate was a formal process. It would be documented on this day, and preparations would begin.
“Yes, I think it’s best that my people know once and for all that the King Kade rumors are just rumors. I am loyal to the wolves.” There was no waver this time. My words rang true.
Calista nodded, smiling like a sixteen year old given her first car. “This is wonderful news, Arianna. A queen can be strengthened by a strong male at her side. Have you chosen someone or would you like me to open introductions?”
I paused. I hadn’t chosen anyone. Opening introductions would be a long and tedious process, but I could see no other way.
“Open the introductions. Bring me only the best candidates.”
It wouldn’t be long before pictures and bios from around the world landed on my desk. I’d find all of them to be the strongest, most loyal, and fiercest males that the wolf shifter race had to offer. Calista, and likely the council, would sort through them and then bring me the top candidates. It was dangerously close to an arranged marriage, but I would have final say, and only after a few months of courting. I hoped that in this process I would genuinely fall in love. That was still hugely important to me.
Calista was up now, her eyes bright, cheeks pink. She would be a whirlwind of activity for the next few days.
I stopped her before she could leave. “One more thing, Cal.” She met my eyes. “Tell me about Sir Baladar.”
Sorrow blossomed out of her, then it was gone just as suddenly. “What about him?” she said, sounding cautious.
“I asked him how you knew each other and he said you were the love of his life.”
Her shoulders hunched, and now there was no mistaking the pain on her face. “He did?” She forced out a strangled chuckle. “He’s always so honest, to a fault.”
I waited, but Calista just picked her cuticles, not speaking. After the last few days, and all the Kade stuff, I understood how hard it could be to talk about strong emotions.
“Calista? What happened?” My voice was softer now, and I stood, crossing around my large desk to stand before her.
She took in a deep breath and then met my eyes. “I was never the type to go out to parties or clubs or anything of that nature.”
I envisioned the younger Calista as a bookworm who played mecca chess and studied. “So when my roommate came home with a key to an exclusive party, I wasn’t interested at first. She finally convinced me, telling me that the key would expire the next day and that the party was so exclusive we may never be invited in our lifetime again.”
I nodded. That would have gotten my attention for sure. “So what happened at the party?”
Calista smiled. “Baladar happened.”
I noticed she didn’t refer to him as “sir.”
“He was greeting people at the door, handing out those magical drinks, which I of course refused, and, I don’t know ... there was this spark when we locked eyes. It was like … magic. That’s the only thing I can liken it to.”
I smiled, envisioning a young Calista falling in love. “Sounds like love.”
She chuckled, wistfulness in the tone. “I wasn’t prepared for him. He was so charming, so funny. He abandoned his own party and we talked for hours and hours.” She stared off into the distance and I could see why he’d fallen so quickly for her. Calista was strikingly beautiful, super smart, and sure of herself. “We were together for two years, but then work got in the way and we had to spend longer periods apart and it just didn’t work out. Duty calls, you know?”
My heart pinched. “Cal, was I the reason you guys finally broke up? My birth?”
Calista grasped my hand and squeezed hard. “Arianna, you and Winnie are the best thing that ever happened to me. I would not change one second of my life with you.”
For the second time today I felt my throat tighten and tears prick my eyes. She didn’t exactly answer my question, but I understood her meaning. Yes, my birth tore them apart, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes duty trumped love and that’s just the way it was. A good queen knew that.
Calista stood with a big smile and clutched her tablet. “Enough of this sad talk. You’re queen, and now on the verge of being mated. I couldn’t be any happier!” She winked and I laughed. I believed that. This was what made Calista happy. Seeing my success as a queen, it reflected her good teachings.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said to her, and she bowed lightly before leaving the room. I stared at the door for a long while, trying to convince myself that this was the right thing to do, that one day I’d look back and be happy I chose this path.
The next morning I showered, had breakfast, and was dressed early. Kade was meeting me this morning to help me try and fix the mecca, and after our awkward conversation yesterday, I was dreading seeing him. I had made such a fool out of myself. Crying and running off! Declaring I was taking a mate. It felt like I was in high school all over again. Kade knew his duty; he knew we couldn’t carry on with the flirting. He probably thought I was some crazy hormonal woman. Besides, probably after one night together we’d be over this attraction. Surely it was only this strong because our relationship was forbidden.
Right?
As I paced the secret library room that led to the mecca stone and tried to burn off my nerves, I startled at the light knock on the door.
“Come in,” I called out with an unsteady voice.
The door opened to reveal Blaine. “Your guest is here, Your Majesty.” He bowed deeply before letting Kade enter.
My legs felt weak as the huge bear entered, his molten eyes clashing with mine. He didn’t say a word, he just stared at me, waiting for me to make the first move. His eyes did do a quick perusal of me. I was far more casually dressed than usual. My hair was down, and I was wearing tight yoga pants and a loose shirt.
Blaine was still waiting behind Kade with the door slightly ajar.
“That will be all, Blaine. Thank you.” I gave my friend a brief smile, and he nodded before slowly backing out of the room and shutting the door.
“Thank you for coming,” I said to Kade, forcing strength into my voice. I needed to make up for my loss of composure yesterday.
He nodded. “Despite the fact I would rather not be in wolf territory right now, I also don’t want the Winter Court to rise up and wipe all of us out, so here I am.”
His coldness hurt, but I understood and respected his feelings on this. If I was going to declare that it was time for me to take a mate, I needed to own the fallout.
Breathing deeply, using my meditation techniques, I calmed my racing heart. “Well, let’s get right to it, then,” I said as I walked over to the bookshelf, pulling the book down to open the secret wall and reveal the crystal room.
I felt his presence at my back. My awareness of Kade had not gone anywhere. “What’s y
our plan?” His gruff voice washed over me, and I hated that he was close enough for me to smell his outdoorsy scent. He smelled like the first fresh pine needles at Christmas, or fresh cut grass in summer. Damn bear.
The wall opened and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself as the mecca energy slammed into me. “I don’t have one. We’re going to wing it,” I said.
He exhaled lightly. “Great plan, Your Majesty.”
I had to grit my teeth. Kade was in a nasty mood, and I could already tell he was going to have me ready to kill him more than once today. He was testing my trigger temper. I wasn’t sure where my temper came from. My mother had been gentle and reserved, but I often lost control of my cool. The Red Queen had been like that though, so I just figured it was my royal right to be a bitch when I felt like it.
Picking up the pace, I stepped rapidly through the short hall and into the secret mecca stone room. Trudging through the heavy magic was the same as always, although there might have been even more resistance than last time. I stopped when I was close enough to touch the stone.
Kade stood beside me, arms crossed, staring at the crystal. I stared as well. Not speaking. The air around us was heavy with energy, and many other unspoken things. I couldn’t remember our relationship ever being uncomfortable like this. There had been an ease between us even at fifteen.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “Uh … what?”
He dropped his arms, a low groan rumbling his chest. “We shouldn’t be experimenting with the mecca while there’s anger and distrust between us. It might get us killed. So, I’m sorry, I’ve been stressed lately, and yesterday … it was just a bad day. Let’s forget about it, okay?”
If only it were that easy. I talked the talk … said I was taking a mate. Acted like I was fine with it all. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t forget Kade. The fifteen-year-old scrawny boy I had kissed on the Island was now a king and he was even more amazing than I remembered.
But he was right about messing with the mecca while angry. “You’re right. I’m sorry too for being so blunt yesterday. And personal. It’s all forgotten now.”