“Hi, Mom.” I jogged to her as she stepped out of her new Ford Fusion Hybrid. “Nice car. I love the silver color.” I checked out her navigation system and slick black interior, then grabbed her bag from the backseat.
She smiled and gave me a warm hug. “Thanks, sweetheart.” She turned to the vehicle. “I was due for a trade-up and fell in love with this one. It gets great mileage and is good for the environment.”
“Well, you deserve it with how hard you work.” I grinned, happy to see her.
She patted my cheek. “You’re such a good daughter.” She paused and sighed. “I can’t believe you’re going to be eighteen soon. It makes me feel old.”
I laughed. “You’re not old Mom, and the gold highlights you put in your hair make you look young.” I was happy to see she did something unpredictable for a change.
Blushing, she ran her fingers through her shoulder length brown hair. “I did this on a whim and wasn’t sure if I liked it, but I think it’s growing on me.”
“It looks great. I bet you could pass for my older sister.” Her blush deepened, and I wondered if that was one of the qualities endeared her to my father.
“Is that Nathan’s pickup?” She pointed to it, which was parked on the side of the road.
“Yeah, it is. He wanted to give us a minute, so he stayed in the house.”
“Very nice. Did his parents buy it for him?”
“No, Mom.” I frowned, thinking here we go with the questions and was glad I already prepared for it. “His parents died in a car accident a few years ago.”
Her hand flew to her chest, and her mouth widened in horror. “How tragic that must have been for him.”
I gave her a sad face and nodded.
“Does he live with relatives now?”
“No, Mom, he’s nineteen.” I slung her bag over my shoulder. “And to answer your next question. He made money from the land he sold.”
She tilted her chin down and had one of her mom looks. “That’s fine, Paige, but is he in college?”
She was big on education and wasn’t impressed about him being rich. I should have realized she didn’t care about the size of a person’s bank account. What mattered to her was getting a degree and becoming an asset to this world. If only she knew how much of an asset he really was.
“Yeah, he’s in college. He’s majoring in history and finished this semester early.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “That makes me feel better.” She looked up at the sky where the sun was poking out of the gray clouds, and then something caught her eye on the side of the house. “Do we have a cat now?”
I followed her gaze and saw Mr. Kitty lying in the grass watching us.
“Kind of.” I shrugged. “He’s been hanging around here. I call him Mr. Kitty.”
“He looks like the stray cat your father and I had when you were four. Do you remember him?”
I pretended to think hard and shook my head.
As we were climbing the steps to the porch, Nathan came out. Mom’s jaw dropped. He shook her hand, and she smiled shyly at him.
In that moment, she looked so young and unscathed by the world. My mind automatically took a mental picture of her. The beauty and childlike innocence in it brought a soft smile to my face. My mom truly had a beautiful spirit.
He gave her a warm smile. “Please to meet you, Mrs. Reed.”
“Call me Marissa. Mrs. Reed makes me feel old,” she said, already charmed by him.
Nathan took her bag from me. When he turned his back, she pointed at him and made an okay sign with her fingers. I grinned and followed her into the house, happy she finally got to meet Nathan.
“I have something for you, Paige.” She sat in the recliner and dug through her purse, and then pulled out a small white box and handed it to me.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” I sat on the couch beside Nathan, and he draped his arm over my shoulders.
“I know, but it had your name written all over it.”
I lifted the lid to a pair of silver knotted Celtic stud earrings. “Oooh, I love it. Thanks, Mom,” I said, putting them on. “How do they look?” I gathered my hair into a ponytail.
“They look beautiful on you,” Nathan said, smiling.
“He’s right. They do. But where’s the Celtic ring you always wear?” Mom asked, eyeing my right hand.
“I lost it down the drain a couple months ago,” I said, my face falling.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “I know how much you loved that ring.”
I touched the finger where it once was. “I was sick for days.”
Nathan looked at me. “What did it look like?”
I touched my earlobe and poked it out. “Like these earrings.”
Mom’s eyes fell on Nathan. “Paige has always had an affinity with anything Celtic.”
“Really? I didn’t know.” He sounded fascinated and angled his body toward Mom.
“Even when she was a baby,” she went on. “I remember this one night I was flipping through TV stations when she was being fussy, and I couldn’t calm her down. Well, I paused on a program playing Celtic music, and Paige instantly stopped crying.” She snapped her fingers and laughed. “I thought I had found the Holy Grail because she was such a fussy baby.”
“Mom!” I said, my cheeks warming. I’d never told Nathan this stuff about me and now wished I had.
She arched a brow. “You were. Anyway, the next day I went out and bought some Celtic music and used it whenever she became inconsolable.”
“Interesting,” Nathan said with a crooked smile.
“Do you know she plays the tin whistle?” Mom’s eyes skipped playfully to me.
Nathan turned to me in astonishment. My face was flaming now.
“She even taught herself how to do those Irish and Scottish dances,” she said, not waiting for his reply. “And she does it quite well.”
“Okay, Mom. Enough about me. How was your Vegas trip?” I asked, hoping to get the conversation off myself. Please talk about something else, I silently begged.
“Hold on a minute.” Nathan flipped his palm out. “I would very much like to hear you play the tin whistle for us.”
“Are you serious?” I made a face at him.
“Absolutely.” His adoring eyes taunted me.
“Yes, Paige, please play for us. I haven’t heard you play in years.” Mom was enjoying herself, and even though she kept embarrassing me, I was glad to have her here.
“But that’s just it,” I argued. “I haven’t played in years and probably suck now.”
She waved a hand in the air. “You’re just like your fath–” She stopped, and I saw the sadness in her eyes before she looked away. My heart slipped. Nathan took my hand, letting me know he saw it too. But then she cleared her throat and continued. “You’re way too modest.”
“Okay, but don’t laugh if I make a mistake.” I wanted to make her happy and headed for the stairs to get it.
“We won’t,” she called.
Once in my room, I sat on the bed and held my head in my hands. The sadness I saw in her eyes made me realize how much my questions were going to hurt her. But I had no other choice. I had to know what she knew about my father.
I glanced at the journal on the night stand and thought about Nathan spending half the night reading and pondering it. He came to the conclusion the ring did exist, and my father would have found it if he were still alive. He believed an innocent person owned the ring and probably had it tucked away somewhere.
“I think we can find it,” he told me over breakfast this morning, his voice ringing with excitement.
“Why do you think so?” I took a sip of my coffee, feeling my own excitement bubbling inside me. If he was right, we could find the ring, destroy it, and that would be the end of it.
“Because your father was a genius, and we can follow his lead. I know it’s been almost fourteen years since he wrote this, but we can start where he left off, find out where it was sold, and who bought
it.” He was practically jumping out of his seat with enthusiasm.
I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, so I stared at the ceiling and did both.
He took my face into his hands. “We need to wait until you become immortal before we do this because it will be dangerous, especially if Aosoth finds out. So we can’t breathe a word of it to anyone.”
“Even Anwar?” Surely, he’d want his longtime friend to know.
“Anwar is family, but I don’t want him to know about your father’s journal.” His voice sounded tight, angry even.
“Why?” I asked in complete shock.
He ran a hand through his hair and gritted his teeth. “Because he withheld information about your father from me, which caused you great pain. And this ring has nothing to do with him. It has to do with you. With us.”
I slipped my hand into his. “You shouldn’t hold a grudge toward him.”
Nathan’s voice floated up the stairs, interrupting my thoughts.
“We’re atrophying down here, Paige.”
I hopped to my feet, hearing Mom’s laughter, and grabbed my whistle out of my sock drawer. I followed her laughter down to the living room, loving the sound.
“Nathan was telling me stories about growing up on a farm and some of them are hilarious,” she said, slapping her knee.
They were smiling. It touched me to see them having a good time together, but I felt a hollow space where my father should be and thought if he were here, everything would be perfect. I dropped my eyes to the whistle and turned it in my hands, swallowing against the lump forming in my throat.
Nathan stuck his hand out. When I lifted my gaze to him, his expression was silently telling me he understood. I placed my hand in his and sat next to him. I took a deep breath and rested my lips on the tip of the whistle, my fingers on the holes. Slowly, I blew air into it and moved my fingers up and down, deciding to play a melody for my father. I closed my eyes, allowing the music to take me to another place.
I was now with my father, standing among a group of lush emerald green hills. In the distance was an old stone cottage with a thatched roof and smoke snaking out of its chimney. The breathy music echoed off the hills, and a white mist rose from the ground. My father faced me and held onto my arms. An urgency sparked in his eyes. I squinted at him, not understanding why he looked so worried or how I arrived here.
“I don’t have much time, but I promise I’ll see you again,” he said.
“No, Dad, don’t go,” I begged.
He glanced at the rising mist. “You must listen to me,” he said with an intensity that made my mouth dry and palms sweat. “There are still hard times ahead of you, but you have to find the strength within yourself to get through it and stay alive.”
“But I’m tired of dealing with all these emotions. I don’t think I can handle much more of it,” I said.
“Yes, you can, and you’ll have Nathan to help you through it,” he told me in a rush, the mist now to my knees. He looked exactly like he did in those pictures I had of him.
“I miss you so much.” I wept and pounded my chest with my fist. “You should be here, and you’re not. Why did you leave me?”
“You’ll always be my peanut girl.” He tenderly brushed a lock of hair off my cheek. “I love you so very much, but that emptiness inside of you is from a lack of understanding.”
“But if you love me, why did you leave?” I asked. “Please help me try to understand, because I don’t.”
He embraced me. “I have to go,” he whispered in my ear.
“Nooooo!” I clung to him. “You haven’t answered my question.” But then he disappeared, and I was clinging to air.
“I chose to stay mortal because I didn’t want to live on earth without your mother and you,” his disembodied voice told me. “Stay strong, Paige. Thank Nathan for taking care of my little girl for me. I love you and will see you again.”
The song ended. I opened my teary eyes and dropped the whistle into my lap. I slouched forward, tucking my chin against my chest, silently crying.
Somehow, I was able to visit with my father, and now he was gone. Again. And even though I now knew he did love me, it didn’t take away the ache inside of me. In fact, the pain seemed worse, like alcohol being poured into an open wound. Maybe because part of me still didn’t believe he truly loved me. I mean, if he was able to visit with me, why hadn’t he before? And what was with the hard times ahead of me? Wasn’t this hard enough? I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was, I missed him more than ever and needed answers from Mom.
“What’s wrong, honey?” Mom asked as Nathan pulled me into his arms. “You did a perfect job. Why are you crying?”
“She’s crying because she played that song for her father,” he quietly told her.
“Is that true?”
“Yes.” I sniffed, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt.
“Wow. You really do belong together for him to know that. I could already tell when I first saw you two, and how you look at each other, but this confirms it,” she said.
“I’m going to take a walk.” Nathan kissed my cheek. “I’ll be nearby if you need me,” he whispered in my ear.
Mom stood when Nathan did, looking worried.
“You don’t have to go.” She gestured for him to sit back down.
“I’m going to get some fresh air,” he told her. “Paige needs to talk to you alone.”
“I miss Dad, Mom,” I said when Nathan stepped outside. “And I want to apologize ahead of time for bringing this up. I hope it doesn’t ruin your weekend, but I must confront you on some things.”
“I miss him too, but we can talk about this later. I need to go see Caroline and Tori.” She acted like a caged animal, looking for a way to escape, but I wouldn’t let her.
“They can wait. This is more important.” I rose from the couch to let her know I wasn’t backing down. “Why have you kept memories of my father from me?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She snatched her purse.
“No! We will talk about this because I need answers!” I hollered at her for the first time in my life and hated every last bit of it.
She dropped her purse on the coffee table and turned. Her face lost its color and beyond her eyes I saw a tormented soul. I almost told her to forget about it, but stood my ground instead and kept the determination on my face.
“Your father was the love of my life,” she said, blinking the tears back. “I know it’s selfish of me to keep the memory of him away from you, but I can’t deal with it.”
“But he’s my father, and I have the right to know everything about him. Do you realize I have a huge gap inside myself because he’s not around, and I know very little about him?”
She looked up, and the tears slid down her cheeks. “I ache for him every single minute of the day.” Her gaze fell on mine. My own eyes welled with tears. “When he died, a piece of me died with him,” her voice shook. “I’m sorry you have a gap inside of you, but imagine if you lost Nathan, what that would feel like.”
I did, and grabbed my stomach as if the wind had been knocked out of me. The very thought of Nathan dying made my heart shudder in agony. I totally understood her now.
She pointed at me. “That’s how I feel every time I think about him, and I can’t afford to go through life feeling that way.”
“Is that why you stay away from me because I remind you of him?” It had to be.
My question stunned her. She blinked a couple times, and brushed the tears off her cheeks. I could tell by the guilt on her face I was right.
“I love you, and I realize I’m not like most mothers, but you’re right, and I’m so sorry.”
She cried again, breaking my heart. “I … I… I see a lot of him in you. The older you get, the more you remind me of him. It hurts me too much to be around you for a long period of time.” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
I embraced her and cried against her shoulder. We sta
yed like that for several long moments, locked in sorrow, just like we had the day my father died.
“I do love you more than anybody.” She dropped her arms and stepped back. “But I’m also angry at your father for leaving me.”
“I know what you mean.” I got a couple tissues from the end table and handed her one. “And I understand your reasons behind all of this, but I need answers.”
“What do you want to know?” She blew her nose.
“I found a journal of his, and I want to know why you hid it from me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, mystified. “I remember seeing him with a journal, but after he bought this house, I never saw it again.”
“He bought this house?” I squeaked.
She nodded. “He wanted you to grow up in a small town and have a good childhood.” She swallowed and sniffed, then continued in a small voice. “He died before we moved in.”
“So, he hid the journal then?” I said more to myself than to her.
“It appears so,” she murmured.
“Do you want to see it?”
Crap! I shouldn’t have said that.
Her eyes widened in panic. “No. I don’t.”
I released the air from my lungs. “Did he act weird before he died or mentioned a ring at all?”
She picked up her purse and let out a tired sigh. “He didn’t mention a ring, but he would leave for a couple days because of his job. He did do some research on religion and witchcraft. I was concerned about it until he assured me it was out of curiosity.”
“Witchcraft?” I blurted, my brain shifting out of place.
“Yes. It scared me at first, but then he explained it to me. There’s white magic and black magic. It’s actually interesting.”
“Did he ever use it?” I asked, still astounded at this piece of information.
“No, not that I’m aware of.”
“Did you ever see a tall black guy around?”
“Yes, there was a couple times when a very tall and bald black man came to our house.” She headed for the door, showing no interest in my odd questions. I moved aside, but before she opened it, she hugged me. “I hope you know I do love you, and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you, but now you know why.”
“I love you too, Mom, and I do understand now. It’s okay. I just thought you didn’t like me.” Another batch of tears welled in my eyes.
“Oh, honey.” She reached out and rubbed my cheek. “I’m so sorry you thought that, but it’s not true. You’re a beautiful person. How could anybody not like you?”
I stared at my feet and shrugged.
“I not only like you, I love you.” She hugged me again.
“I love you too.” I didn’t want her to go, but understood why she had to. I wondered though, if I had looked more like her than my father, if things would have been different between us.
She released me and placed her hand on the doorknob. “I’ll be back later.”
“Okay. Tell them I said hi.”
“I will,” she said, opening the door. “And by the way, Nathan is a keeper. I really like him.”
“So do I.” I smiled as she went out the door.
Chapter Eighteen
Devastation
Beyond the Eyes: YA Paranormal Romance Page 45
