On Edge

by Gin Price

  I glanced over at Liv. “His last name is Cox?”

  Grinning at me, she nodded. “Fitting, isn’t it?”

  I laughed. “You’re a hot mess, yanno that?”

  “LL, I’m serious,” Warp barked. “Since Pops is on a job, I’m responsible for you and you go around picking fights with a notorious punk from 3-Town Vengeance.”

  Liv failed to mention that tidbit in the library. Not that I was worried about the gangsters coming after me or anything. I hadn’t been the one to biff Damien in the back of the brain-holder, but from that point on, I’d think of standing next to Liv as an extreme sport.

  “Ellie had nothing to do with it, you bullying ass.” Liv poked a finger into Warp’s chest, successfully distracting him from me. “I hit Damien with her Biology book and received a detention. Ellie got a detention for insulting Mr. Fewd’s gem-like head. Get your stories straight. And Damien doesn’t run with Vengeance anymore, considering most of them are in jail for the shootings last week.” Liv crossed her arms over her chest, smug at giving Warp a dressing down. “Now I think you should apologize to your sister.”

  I almost giggled. Liv had no clue. Warp would rather gnaw off his arm than apologize. When he turned toward me I didn’t move, stunned he seemed about to do what Liv told him to.

  “What the fuck you looking at Branfort?”

  …Or not.

  I spun around to see Haze standing close by, on the edge of the growing crowd.

  Oh, hell. My heart instantly revisited my throat and I thought I would vomit right there on Warp’s school shoes.

  “The back of your sister’s head, waiting for her psycho brother to shut up so I can hand her the book she forgot in class,” Haze answered.

  Warp lurched forward. Oh, double hell.

  “Come near my sister and I’ll kill you.”

  “Hey!” I yelled at Warp and forced him back with a shoulder to his chest.

  “I’m not trying to molest your sister, Kennedy. I’m trying to give her a damned book. You really wanna do this shit here?” Haze looked around pointedly before bringing his gaze back to my brother.

  Even as I surveyed the area, students were stopping and asking questions.

  I groaned. “Jesus, Warp. What the hell is your problem? If this is your plan to keep me out of trouble with Pops gone—epic fail.”

  “Haze? You need something taken care of?” A baritone cut into the scene. The owner of the voice loomed behind Haze, glaring at my brother with his gigantic muscled arms overlapping like logs on a fire.

  “There’s nothing to take care of, Decay,” Haze reassured his friend while keeping his eyes on Warp.

  “You sure?” Decay asked.

  “Sure he’s sure!”

  I practically sagged with relief when I heard Surge’s voice break through the tension. “Just a misunderstanding up in here. Tha’s all. Wouldn’t want it to escalate.”

  Surge came into my periphery from the right, and though he spoke rationally, there was no mistaking the promise in his eyes that he would spring at both Haze and his crewmate, Decay, if they pushed.

  The potential for violence hung in the air like smog. I could taste it every time I breathed in. “Okay, okay. I forgot my book in art and Branfort brought it to me because he’s the teacher’s aide and has to. Can we complete the transaction without the drama so I can do my homework later?”

  I gave my brother a little shove back and walked around Surge to grab my sketchbook from Haze.

  I didn’t dare look at his face lest everyone standing around would become witness to my growing crush.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  “You’re welcome, Manu,” Haze said in a hushed whisper.

  The corner of my lip twitched, wanting to smile but I managed to keep it at bay long enough to unleash it on Surge instead. The school would be safer if everyone thought I was grinning at him. I made my way back to “Kennedy Country” and stood next to Liv.

  “Umm, disperse with a quickness,” Surge warned a nanosecond before Mr. Fewd pushed through the crowd.

  “Is this a fight? Are you all fighting?”

  My throat went dry. The words “no-tolerance” shot through my head and I saw us all getting expelled. They’d call my father on the road and announce that his children had been sent home from school and he’d have to come to sign papers or go to a court-martial-type hearing, or whatever the hell they did to unworthy students.

  I didn’t breathe or blink, like failure to move would make me fade into the background and come out of the incident unscathed. Nobody here but us chickens.

  “Are you saying that because I’m black?” Surge accused loudly, throwing everyone off for a second. “Oh, I get it. A black guy stands around to deliver an important party message and you assume I’m starting something? I’m crying racism, my man, ray-ciz-zem!”

  Mr. Fewd looked put out, but only for a minute. To his credit, he collected himself and got back to teacher mode. “We don’t allow party announcements in school, either, Mr. Lawrence. Let’s go visit the principal’s office.”

  Looked like Liv and I would have some company after school.

  ***

  “I’m saying! LL! Being around you brings me trouble,” Surge grinned at me, his beautiful smile stretching his lips from ear to ear as he walked into the doom room after regular school.

  He passed the attending teacher, Mr. Stratt, slapping a high-five before sitting on the top of the desk I was sitting at. He threw a wink toward Liv before hunkering down to look me eye-to-eye.

  “What?” I asked defensively. “You can’t possibly blame me for my brother’s psychotic outbursts.”

  “Sooo, you didn’t beat the shit outta Damien Cox with the Introduction To Algebra?”

  “Language,” Mr. Stratt warned without looking up from his copy of Sports Illustrated.

  “Sorry.” Surge shrugged. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself, young Lady of the Ledge?”

  I grinned and simply pointed at Liv who raised her hand.

  “Guilty,” she said.

  Laughing, Surge reached over and gave Liv a pound of pride. “Right on, baby girl. The shit I hear about that dude makes me itch to beat his roof in.”

  “Most of it’s probably true,” Liv grumbled under her breath.

  Surge didn’t seem to want to pry for once. The rumors he heard must’ve been really bad.

  “So? What did you do to get in here, LL?”

  “It’s so minor I’m embarrassed to admit it,” I said.

  Liv cracked up. She had no qualms about recounting the story. “She was zoning out in Biology and Mr. Fewd tried to sneak up on her. He peeked over the table and she said his head was shiny. It was classic!”

  Mr. Stratt chuckled and I looked to the front of the room to grin sheepishly at him.

  “So what was your infraction, Mr. Lawrence?” Mr. Stratt asked.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of someone through the wedge-like window on the classroom door walking down the hall. I waited a moment and saw the blur again before it reversed and aligned with my viewing angle.

  Surge regaled Liv and Mr. Stratt with tales of his hallway exploits, and they laughed at the appropriate moments. I did, too, reflexively, but I couldn’t break the stare Haze locked me in until he smiled and gave me an up-nod before walking away.

  Oh, boy. My lips hurt from smiling and my stomach tingled like I’d swallowed a bunch of Pop Rocks…over an up-nod! Yeah, this was bad. And I had the rest of the imprisonment period to think about how wonderfully bad my crush was.

  ***

  Surge and I dropped Liv off at home. He continued on with me to my place, insisting that 3-Town Vengeance might be down but not out, and he needed to watch my back. As far as I knew, we didn’t have any problems with any gangs yet, but if Surge wanted to emb
ellish the situation as an excuse to walk me home, I was cool with it. Other than Liv, he was my only friend, so I didn’t mind hanging out. There didn’t need to be a reason.

  “So. You got something going on with Brennen Craig, huh?”

  Did he see him outside the detention room door? No, he couldn’t have. His back had been turned. I figured he was taking a stab in the dark and reminded myself to react accordingly. “Really, Surge?”

  Hands out to his sides, he was the picture of innocence. “What?”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Come on. I just met him the other day when Warp was trying to beat the crap out of him for no reason. And now he’s the teacher’s aide for my fifth hour.” I stared at him like he had a couple of drugs in him as we walked. “Based on that information, I don’t know how it took you so long to notice my obvious love affair.”

  “Sarcasm works on your dopey brother, LL, bless him, but it don’t work on me, ya’ll. I saw him that day at the wall, checking you out like you were a fine bottle of wine he wanted to decork.”

  “Ugh! Surge.” I slapped his arm.

  “And then today in the hall, he wouldn’t look at you, and you wouldn’t look at him but I heard him call you Manu.”

  “So?”

  “Soooo. A man only names a pet he’s planning on keeping.”

  “You know, I always wanted to be compared to a dog. Thanks.”

  “You get what I mean, quit playing and answer the question.”

  I was running out of hedge room. “What question am I supposed to be answering? I can’t dig through all this crazy.”

  I crossed the street and Surge skipped backwards so he could continue his stare of accusation while keeping up with my pace. The stupid grin across his face was as wide as the Nile. Or how wide I thought the Nile might be.

  “The Lady of the Ledge doth protest too much, methinks.”

  I suddenly wanted to burn all things Shakespeare. “Okay fine! I think he’s cute.”

  “Pfft! It’s more than that, ain’t it?”

  Shaking my head, I stopped and leaned against the privacy fence lining the sidewalk. I tilted my head, waiting for him to look directly at me. “Are we doing serious, for real? Is this what you want? Me to confide some dark secret for you to run to my brother with?”

  Surge pursed his lips and scratched at his neck. “Look, I’m concerned. You’re my girl, yanno? Well, not my girl girl, but you know.”

  “Are you my friend? Or are you my brother’s friend?”

  Sighing, Surge mimicked my lean. He closed his eyes for a second and then stared up into the sky. I watched his inner battle through the interpretive dance of his Adam’s apple. “I’m your friend, LL,” he said, and met my gaze.

  “Then why don’t I know shit about you? All we talk about is parkour and what I’m up to, and when I ask about you, you always crack a joke and hide behind the laughter. Now, you catch something some guy says to me, and you’re grilling me like we’re girlfriends about to dish. I’m supposed to believe you’re asking because you care and want to put some more blocks on the building of our friendship?”

  “Look, I’ll be honest, I would’ve been outta our group last year if I hadn’t promised Ander I would look after you.”

  Great! Not Warp, but Ander. I’d wondered why Surge always looked out for me, stepping up to my brother when he became overbearing. Also…I wondered how Ander would dare go off to school with only Warp to look after me. My eldest bro had practically clubbed anyone who looked at me sideways. Part of the reason my friend-pond needed a pity feed, but I didn’t need it filled with my brothers’ friends.

  “Well, you can tell Ander that I can take care of my own self and he doesn’t need to indenture someone to spy on me.”

  Hands up in surrender, Surge stepped in my path as I moved to go around him. “Wait, wait, LL. Ander might have asked me to look out for you, and I might have originally done it because I felt I owed him one, but I don’t tell him your business.”

  “Why did you feel you owed him one?”

  “Because Ander made my life better, LL. The worst portion of my life to date, and Ander gave me something no one else could.”

  I bit my lip, wanting to know every tiny detail of this story that I was sure would be interesting, but I held back the questions. “What?” Okay…maybe just one question.

  “Understanding of who I am.”

  I studied Surge’s face for a long time. The way he spoke about my brother, and the soft smile that tilted the corner of his mouth…holy crap. “Surge, are you like…gay?”

  “Way to throw a label out there, LL.”

  “Whoa, whoa. I’m not throwing labels. I’m asking a question. Being gay isn’t a label if it is who you are.”

  “But I don’t know who I am, girl. That’s the point. I like girls, and sometimes, I like guys.”

  He stared at me, waiting for me to have a comment, but I couldn’t come up with one. I didn’t care if Surge was gay or straight, I dug him either way, but I was afraid if I said something wrong, was either over- or under-supportive, whatever good Ander did for him, would be erased.

  “Okay.”

  The grin he gave me, let me know I didn’t screw anything up yet.

  “I thought I had to make some sort of life decision. When I first had a crush on Ander, I obsessed over how to tell my parents I was gay. I stopped talking to girls I was attracted to because I thought they were making me more confused and messed in the head. When I got overwhelmed…I ran away from home and hung out on the roofs, skipping school…feeling sorry for myself.”

  “Ander found you?”

  “Yeah. He sat down and didn’t say anything to me except: ‘There’s nothing you can say that will make me think less of you. I’m going to stick with you until you tell me why you’re out here.’ I called his bluff for a couple of hours. He didn’t leave. He just sat there. So I tried a different approach. I told him that I liked him.”

  I was glad Surge was sharing so much with me, but it was a lot to process. “What did Ander say to that?”

  “He said thanks, but no thanks, peddle your gay juice elsewhere.”

  I’m sure my mouth dropped open by a foot. “What?!”

  Surge pointed and laughed. “You shoulda seen your face!”

  I wanted to kick him in the ass. “So, you’re not gay?”

  Still grinning at me, Surge shrugged. “I wasn’t lying about the story, just that last bit. I wouldn’t put any labels on my jacket yet, LL. I just don’t care to. And that’s what Ander did for me. After we talked for a long time about my confusion, liking girls and all too, Ander told me to take a deep breath, and enjoy being who I am. I don’t love anyone. I don’t need to define myself one way or the other. I’m just open to whichever direction love comes at me. I don’t need to cloud my high school experiences with inner turmoil by making statements I’m not sure about. I just gotta let life roll at me. That is what Ander taught me. And that, is what I am trusting you with.”

  For the first time since I’d known him, I felt close to Surge. I finally felt like he let me know him…even though “him” wasn’t defined.

  I closed the distance between us and gave Surge a big hug, complete with squeeze. “Thank you for trusting me with that.”

  “I’ve always trusted you. Just didn’t really know you were interested in knowing that much about me.”

  “I am interested. I feel like we get each other, yanno?”

  “Yeah, I know. And I hope you know now that you can trust me with anything you might wanna talk about, cuz I ain’t about to jeopardize my situation with the coolest girl in town for nobody. Not even Ander. I’ve got your back, a’ight? Don’t play, cuz you know I do.”

  “So, you still want to know about Haze?”

  “Not so’s I can run to Ander with it. And definitely not to say some shit to
Warp. Don’t tell me anything until you feel you can. But if you and Haze hook up, there could be a world of violence. So until you talk real to me, I’d take it as a courtesy if you’d at least let me know if I need to start ducking. You know the black man dies first every time.”

  I groaned and rolled my eyes, but was glad to see his confession didn’t create an awkwardness between us. “Three Rivers is sixty percent black, Surge. I’m black. You saying I’m gonna die?”

  “Psh! Girl, look at your daddy. You’re white with some Oreo dust.”

  I had to laugh. He wasn’t wrong. Coming from anyone else, I woulda thrown a punch to defend my parents’ breeding decision, but Surge could insult anyone and it would sound good. “Yeah, yeah.”

  “So, you and Haze…” he prompted.

  “I’ve known him for a total of an hour.”

  “Boy works fast.” When I glared he backed off. “A’ight, okay. Like I said—just tell me—”

  “…if you need to duck. Yeah, I got it.”

  Eight

  “I can’t believe you’re out on a school night past nine.” Liv beamed at me as we stood in line for overpriced popcorn and partially melted chocolate-covered raisins. “I love when your dad isn’t home!”

  I smiled but I couldn’t really get behind her excitement. I loved having my freedom but I didn’t really feel like I lived under my father’s thumb like most kids. As far as dads went, mine was pretty cool, so anarchy wasn’t on my to-do list. Guess I needed to work on my teenage angst or something.

  Liv interpreted my silence as annoyance and hurriedly backpedaled. “Oh, I know he just cares more about you than most parents around here. I’m not trying to dig on Pops or anything. I mean, I barely even see my life-donors. I’m not sure they’d even bother to come home if I landed in the hospital.”

  I stepped up to the counter and placed my order but kept my ear tilted toward Liv as she lamented over her parental apparitions. “Although, they did come home last year when the neighbors called the cops about a break-in at my house.”

  “I didn’t know someone broke into your house.”