Remember This

by Shae Buggs

  Remember This

  by Shae Buggs

  Copyright © 2012 by Shae Buggs

  All rights reserved.

  These stories are works of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from THE AUTHOR or the Publisher.

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  First Steps Publishing

  1. Berks and Bras

  Today is going to be a great day. I can just feel it. The Macarena is on the radio as I drive to work and I feel invincible, and like I can speak Spanish. What are the lyrics anyways? It sounds like ‘time maybe ghost a cup o’ tea a margarita, Hey Macarena!’ but something tells me that’s not quite right.

  Drey, Kara, and I are going to get dinner after work. Audrey, or Drey, has been my best friend since grade school and we adopted Kara as our third Stooge in college. I personally think I channel Larry, Curly, and Moe the most out of the three of us but they also contribute to the shenanigans we get ourselves into. Sometimes I feel like Lucille Ball is my personality twin. Maybe deep down my mom suspected this and that’s why she named me Lucy.

  All I have done is work twelve hour days lately so I really need this night to relax. I bought myself the black Hermes bag I have been eyeing as a reward to myself for working so hard. I love my job at Pearson’s Marketing and I think I am on the cusp of a promotion.

  I have promised the girls I will leave my cell phone in my purse so I don’t get distracted by work emails at dinner. I have a habit of dealing with work at any hour of the day. Some people call it annoying, I call it dedication.

  I wore my black A-line dress to work today so I don’t have to go home and change before we all meet up. It’s a little low cut for work, but I can be a little scandalous for one day. Besides, I think Eli, my co-worker, likes it. I was feeling a little daring so I put my sky high black heels in the car. I’ll change into them once I get to the restaurant.

  I am the exact opposite of graceful so heels are never a good idea for me. The one time I wore heels to work, I got my heel caught in the carpet of the main hallway and ripped it. The worst part was that I was talking to a client when it happened and I stepped right out of my shoe. I didn’t really know what to do so I just kept walking with one shoe on.

  I bobbed up and down the hallway until we arrived at the elevators where we said our goodbyes. As I waved and the elevator door closed, the client looked down to see me standing there with one shoe. I’m not completely sure, but I think he was smiling as the doors shut.

  Everyone at the office makes fun of me for all the stupid things I do but I surprisingly get a lot of respect. I am good at my job and people look up to me. Or as my coworkers would say, they would look up to me except I am always on the ground. Eli is the one who teases me the most.

  Eli and I have been working together for almost five years now but I never even acknowledged his existence until a few months ago. Since then, there has been some sexual tension, but he has a girlfriend and I am married so nothing has happened. I don’t condone cheating even though neither one of us are happy in our relationships. It’s tacky and disrespectful. No one deserves to be cheated on. Plus, I don’t know how women deal with two men. I don’t even handle one very well.

  The one man I am referring to is my husband of six years, Mason. I want to pull my hair out just thinking about him. He is a recent frustration, however. Things used to be good. Really good.

  We met in college about eight years ago in our economics class. My first impression of him was that he was just a pretty face. Girls were always flirting with him and he would charm them back. He was distractingly handsome but it bothered me that girl’s couldn’t keep it together around him. Doesn’t anyone have any dignity?

  I was at a Halloween party with Kara and Drey our junior year dressed as a 20’s flapper girl when I first talked to him. He was dressed as a Buddy the Elf from the Christmas movie. I was happy to see he had a sense of humor.

  “Hey,” he said bringing me a beer at the party. Kara was off with Scott and Drey was on the dance floor which left me all alone and a wide open target.

  “Hi,” I said pretending like I had never seen him before.

  “How come you never talk to me in economics?” he asked. I was shocked that he even knew who I was.

  “Do we have econ together?” I bluffed. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I had ogled over his dimples like a drooling baboon.

  “We sure do,” he smiled. “I have been hoping all semester that you would talk to me. There is something about you that I like.” How was I supposed to respond to that? I took a drink of my beer instead. “I’m Mason,” he said breaking the silence.

  “Lucy,” I snorted.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I just find it interesting that out of all the girls in our class swooning over you that you pick me as your target.”

  “So you do remember me from class!” he exclaimed and I knew I was busted. “The fact that you don’t swoon over me may be why I’m attracted to you. And they don’t swoon; they just talk to me a lot. I think they think I’m rich.”

  “Ok, whatever you say.” I try to change the subject. “I like your costume. It’s pretty funny.”

  “Thanks. I love Elf.”

  “Me too. However, Will Ferrell’s best movie is obviously Step Brothers.”

  “No way you like that movie too?”

  That was all it took. We spent the rest of the night quoting Step Brothers and Dumb and Dumber. We got married two years later and were best friends until about four months ago.

  We both have good jobs and finally started making money. We started saving for retirement and have a lot of extra disposable income. Mason bought a BMW and I leased a Range Rover. My life seemed perfect for awhile. It’s funny how your whole life you think that money will solve your problems. Unfortunately, now I have money, but I still don’t have the most important thing in life. The thing that truly matters; a soul mate. I’m finding out the saying is true- money can’t buy you happiness.

  Over the past year, we have both been busy at work. We started going out for less date nights and spent less time at home together. A few months ago though, something went cold in our relationship and neither of us tried to fix it.

  Since our slump, Mason has gone back to his charming ways with the ladies. I don’t think he would cheat on me but it still bothers me. We sleep in separate bedrooms now and hardly say two words to each other. It’s like his douche bag light switch was turned on and he hasn’t bothered to turn it off. I have grown to almost resent him and I think he feels the same way towards me. We are different people now with nothing in common except the roof over our head. We fight constantly and I think we would be better off if we separated.

  About the time we started going our separate ways, Eli became more forward with his attempts to woo me. He would buy me flowers occasionally or take me out to lunch. He said he was planning on breaking up with his girlfriend but it still bothered me that he did these things for me.

  Regardless of how I felt about it, I was still married and I felt like I was misleading Eli. Every week we had to have a conversation about our relationship. I had to stress to him that we were just friends and he assured me every week that he understood.

  I liked how I could really talk to him about my issues with Mason and get a man’s perspective. He seemed to listen and care, two things that Mason couldn’t or wouldn’t do anymore.

  Mason is very handsome a
nd he knows it. He has bright blue eyes, light brown hair, and a body to die for. His skin is always tan and sun kissed because he never has a shirt on outside. If he had it his way, he would walk around naked everywhere.

  When he is dressed though, he looks very put together. He has an eye for that kind of thing and knows how to pick out impeccable, classy outfits. He smells like you would expect a male model to smell and has a cologne collection that trumps any other man’s I have ever seen. My hatred for him has made me forget about how gorgeous he is and sometimes his looks take me off guard.

  I sit in my meeting about how many focus groups we have set up for next week and my mind wanders to my girl’s night out. I click my phone on and check the time. It’s 4:37. We are supposed to meet at 5:30. I hardly ever get out of the office that early but I will have to try tonight. When we get together, we can talk for hours so meeting at 7:00 just wouldn’t cut it.

  “We will meet Monday in the Avalanche conference room at 11:00 a.m. for our first focus group session,” Tyler from the market research department concludes. I stand before he even finishes his sentence and everyone watches me hastily leave the meeting room. What are you looking at? It’s Friday for crying out loud. I guess they’re not used to my behavior today. Usually, I am really into my work but this week has dragged on long enough.

  I organize my paperwork on my desk and get it ready for Monday. At work, I am super organized. My closet, however, is a different story. I knock over a picture frame on my desk as I pick up my planner. I set it upright and stare at the picture for a moment. It’s me and Mason in front of the Eifel Tower. He scooped me up off my feet and tipped me back in a dramatic kiss. We look so happy. We were happy. I set the photo down and grab my purse trying to push all thoughts of him out of my head.

  I race down Spring street in downtown Seattle weaving through traffic. I am going to be late and Kara and Drey are going to kill me. I’m so sick of their ‘you need more of a work life balance’ talk and if I’m late, I know I will hear the lecture again.

  I teeter on my heels as I stand in the entrance of my favorite place to go after work, Berks. Berks has a good dinner menu but an even better cocktail and wine list. The restaurant transitions into bar around nine or ten o’clock but right now the lighting is low and the dark wood walls give off a cozy vibe. This is definitely restaurant Berks.

  I knew these shoes weren’t a good idea. Concentrate, Lucy. Right, left, right, left, I chant trying not to squint my face at the pain radiating off my feet. Who in the world invented these things? I do have to admit though, they do amazing things for my legs.

  I see Kara and Drey across the restaurant sitting at a high top table. I’m not surprised they already started on their cocktails. I had to send three emails from my car before I came in so I am a few minutes late. Speaking of that, I need to check my email one more time.

  “Put that away right now!” Drey screams when she sees me on my phone. She is wearing skin tight dark jeans, black heels, and a low cut black top. She is so skinny that everything looks good on her. She tends to wear clothes more on the promiscuous which matches her personality.

  “I’m sorry, I just had to check one more thing,” I confess shoving my phone back in my clutch. “My new client wasn’t happy with the research that came back about the customers so I had to assure them that we will make things work. You look stunning,” I say leaning over and giving Kara a hug. Kara is the sweetheart out of the three of us and definitely the most romantic. She is hopelessly in love with her husband Scott who just happens to be Mason’s best friend.

  “Thank you. I just bought this,” Kara says as she looks down and adjusts her bright blue dress.

  “I see you have ordered drinks.”

  “Yes we ordered a bottle of wine for the table. A white, I hope that’s ok,” Drey replies but I can tell her mind isn’t completely on my question. She is looking at something towards the bar. Kara and I follow her gaze and then roll our eyes once we figure out what she sees.

  “Oh come on, Drey. This is girl’s night and Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome you are sexing with your eyes over there does not fit the criteria,” I say jokingly but a little agitated. Drey is so easily distracted by men. She is like the female version of Mason only she acts on her impulses. She stocks them like prey. I have to say though, that man she is eyeing right now is pretty gorgeous. His dark brown eyes are the same color as his skin. His teeth are so white that I swear they glisten.

  “I agree, we are not talking about men tonight,” Kara says tugging on Drey’s arm to get her back in the conversation. Even I need to be pulled away from the mysterious man in the corner. “Except, Lucy, I wanted to ask you about things with Mason. Are they still a little rocky?”

  “I think we are going to get a divorce,” I sigh. Kara gasps. “We haven’t talked about it yet but I think that’s where this is heading. We don’t talk at all and every time I see him, a surge of anger courses through my body. I can tell he feels the same way.”

  “Maybe you should try marriage counseling again,” Kara says and I can see Drey roll her eyes. Kara doesn’t believe in falling out of love so she has suggested everything under the sun for us to try. She is so desperate that she has started from the top of the list again.

  “We tried that and Mason ended up with the counselor’s phone number at the end of the session, remember? For once, that wasn’t Mason’s fault,” I say remembering the look on Mason’s face when Mr. Winbaugh winked at him.

  “I say you divorce the douche and move on. I want to know about Eli,” Drey says leaning forward waiting for all the juicy details.

  “Eli is adorable and sweet but there is nothing going on between us. I am still married and no matter how much I despise Mason, I wouldn’t do that to him.”

  “Lucy, you are too good to him. Remember last month he invited all the guys over to watch basketball and they trashed your house? He did that on purpose just to annoy you.”

  “I thought we weren’t talking about men,” I demand as our wine arrives. We order crab cakes and end up talking until the loud music disrupts the cozy restaurant vibe and the lighting dims even more. This is our queue to leave.

  “Are we still doing lunch tomorrow?” Kara asks as she steps into the cab. She had way more to drink than us tonight which is unusual for her. We wouldn’t let her drive so we called her a cab.

  “I’ll be there,” I say digging my keys out of my purse. “I’ll text Drey to make sure she is coming too. Good night,” I call as Kara closes her door and waves at me. Drey decided to stay at Berks and talk to the man at the bar. Typical behavior for her. I used to worry about her until I saw her take down a guy with her right hook and the pepper spray she keeps in her purse. It’s good to know she can hold her own.

  It only takes me twenty minutes to get home. Traffic isn’t too bad at night. It’s dark and rainy as I pull into the garage, a sign of a spring evening.

  I cringe when I see Mason’s BMW in the garage. I immediately pray he is asleep but I know that won’t be the case. It’s still too early for that. I sit in my car for a few more minutes with my head resting on the steering wheel trying to prolong my time alone.

  I actually do this a lot lately; just sit in my car alone. I enjoy sitting by myself. It helps me think. All I can think about right now though is how I wish I could be invisible and sneak into the house unseen. And how I want dessert. I’ve delayed the inevitable long enough. I open the door into the living room and all the lights are off except the one over the stove.

  “Mason,” I call but I hear nothing in response. I relax at the thought that I don’t have to deal with him. I set my things on the counter and pour myself a glass of wine. I look around in the cupboards for something sweet to eat but we don’t have anything in the house. I should have known better. I don’t buy sweets so I don’t eat them. I have no self control if food is within arm’s reach.

  If I go to bed now, I can completely avoid Mason. I grab my glass of wine and head for my roo
m but on my way, I notice that the spare bedroom door is open slightly. This is Mason’s room since our split and it’s never open. I force myself to walk past the open door and fight my urge to snoop around in his room. I don’t know what I expect to find but my curiosity is peaked.

  “No,” I say out loud to myself hovering in the hallway outside his door. “It isn’t polite to snoop…but it’s just Mason,” I say changing my mind mid thought. I tiptoe back into the living room to make sure the coast is clear and then I walk back down the hallway and open his door.

  I flip on the light and stare around the room. It is meticulously clean which I should have guessed. Mason thinks that everything has a place. I agree but I consider my closet floor a place. He has never approved of my unorganized ways.

  There is nothing out of the ordinary in his room and when I open his drawers, I find nicely folded clothes. I pick up one of his under shirts from the top drawer and lift it to my face. It smells just like him. Like fabric softener and cologne. My mind is flooded of memories from when we actually liked each other. I throw the shirt back in the drawer like it is poison oak and shut it noisily. I have tried to block all of our past memories from my head. I tell myself if I can do that, then the divorce will be easier.

  I know getting a divorce is what I want but it still hurts to think about. We used to be so close and he was my best friend. It is hard to officially let that all go so I have tried to distance myself from him and thoughts of him to help lessen the blow.

  I’m annoyed and relieved that I don’t find anything in his room. I turn off the light and close the door enough so it is just how I found it. I go back to the kitchen to refill my now empty glass of wine. Being in his room and having those feelings come back to me was not what I needed tonight.

  “We are two different people now,” I declare out loud to myself. “It happens. And now we have to move on. And I’m talking to myself, again,” I finish shaking my head.

  I grab a new bottle of wine out of the cupboard above the fridge and I turn and set it on the counter. It is one of the bigger bottles and I almost drop it. I uncork it and am about to pour myself another glass when something catches my eye in the living room. I squint my eyes and see that there is something sparkly hanging from the fake plant we have by the couch. I kill every plant I own so I settled with the rubber ones. I walk around the bar and as I approach the plant I can see that the sparkles are attached to something red. I grab the mystery object and pick it up. I blanch as I look at the red bra covered in rhinestones.