Remember This

by Shae Buggs

  I stare at the Gerber daisy on the table as Mason sits down across from me. In a flash, Henry is gone and my mind starts to whirl. Gerber daisies are my favorite flowers. How did Mason know that? Or did he? Does he have his memory back and he hasn’t told anyone? I look over at him and he is smiling innocently chatting with our guests. Maybe it was just a lucky guess. I shake it off and order another drink.

  “I am in desperate need of sleep,” Drey says putting on her eye mask and leaning against the window of the plane. I sit and watch as people push their way past the first class rows and continue into coach. Mason is one of the last to board and I feel guilty again that he isn’t sitting up here with us. As he passes us, I give him a smile which he returns, not looking the least bit resentful or jealous. I turn back and see him sitting next to an older couple, thankful that the British girls aren’t on our return flight. He looks so handsome and calm back there as he settles in and opens a book. I turn back to face the seat in front of me feeling guilty for doing what I did but I can’t change anything now. I plug my iPod into my ears, close my eyes, and drift off into a restless sleep.

  For the next couple of weeks, Mason and I try to get back into a routine. We are trying this friend thing but I still think it is best if we don’t spend too much time together. I don’t want to get my emotions mixed in this mess.

  I go to work, stay late as usual, and come home and do it all again the next day. Mason’s dad suggested that he go into the office everyday and try to get some work done so he is gone for most of the day as well. A couple of nights this week we ate dinner together but we didn’t have much to say to each other. He asked how work was and I asked if he could remember anything yet. The answer was usually no but one day he did say that parts of his childhood were coming back.

  He spends a lot of time with Scott and I spend most of the time I am home in the office. At first I was a little disappointed that we didn’t continue our playful relationship that we had in Mexico but it was just for show. Now I have accepted that and realized that we are just friends.

  Eli has been annoying me at work. When I got back there were flowers on my desk from him. Normally I would be slightly flattered but something has changed between us since I got back from Mexico. I feel really guilty about being so flirtatious with him. Mason and I are not divorced yet and we are actually on better terms so I feel like my relationship with Eli is too much even though it isn’t much of a relationship at all. I still like him and I think he is a good guy and still very handsome but the timing is just wrong. Tomorrow is Friday so I only have to deal with him for the rest of today and tomorrow which is about all I can handle at this point.

  “Good morning, Lucy,” Erin, my best friend at work says as I rush in eating my apple. I am a little behind today because I was giving Mason directions to the gym he works out at.

  “Hi, Erin.”

  “He’s waiting for you in your office,” she with a scrunched face. I tell her everything and she knows that Eli is getting on my last nerve. I roll my eyes in response. I reach my office door and take a deep breath before I bust in.

  “Hi Eli. Look, I-“ I stop mid sentence and notice that he has brought me more flowers. He is sitting in my chair smiling at me.

  “Hello, beautiful,” he says, his chestnut eyes blazing at me. He really is easy to look at. “Do you like them?” he asks looking from me to the bright yellow daffodils in the vase on my desk.

  “Yes, I love them. Thank you.”

  “I was wondering if you wanted to do lunch today?” Ugh! Not at all what I want to deal with. I need to tell him how I really feel and get this over quick.

  “Listen, Eli. I really like you and I think you are a really sweet guy.” I start but I am distracted by the fact that he is getting up and making his way towards me with a sly smile on his lips. He stops inches from my face and I pause.

  “You were saying?” he says as if he isn’t totally invading my bubble. All of a sudden I start to feel Henry return to his original spot in my stomach but he seems like he’s a little uneasy. Eli is very distracting and I just need to get this off my chest.

  “I was saying that it is my responsibility to get Mason back to normal and I don’t think that we should be as involved with each other while I am trying to do so.”

  “Mason is a big boy. He isn’t the brightest but he can handle this himself. You know, you and I could be great together. Better than you and him. Think about it. I’m still available for lunch if you want to go.” And with that, he opens the door without moving from his close proximity, smiles, and walks out closing the door behind him.

  That was so awkward. It bothers me the way he puts down Mason. I mean, I am allowed to say whatever I want about him because he’s my pain in the ass husband, but it has always upset me that he thinks so little of Mason. I also hate how he tells me that we will be great together. He has a girlfriend and I have never said that I want to be with him. I’m just glad that’s over. I know for a fact I will be eating lunch in my office with the door closed. I hope Erin is available to come eat with me.

  Finally, today is over. I spent the whole afternoon avoiding Eli and now I’m exhausted. On my drive home I listen to some music and clear my mind. I am in a much better mood by the time I pull into the driveway. I notice Mason’s BMW parked in the driveway so he must have gone to the gym. I park in the garage and head inside.

  As I walk into the kitchen, I see Mason standing behind the island. I can only see him from the waist up and he doesn’t have a shirt on. He must have just got back from the gym because he has his headphones in and his body is glistening with sweat. He is nicely tanned from Mexico which makes his body that much more delicious. I look down at my flabby stomach and cringe.

  He still hasn’t heard me come in yet and he is rummaging around in the fridge. I still can’t tell if he has pants on and right now I might be slightly disappointed if he does. Stop that, I tell myself as Henry flutters around in my stomach.

  “Ahem!” I clear my throat hoping that he will hear me. I must have been loud enough because he whips around and takes his ear buds out.

  “Hey, Lucy!” he says giving me a big smile. He is always in a good mood after he works out.

  “Hi,” I say dragging my gaze away from his body. “Do you have pants on?”

  Mason smiles even bigger. “No,” he says and then starts to walk around the island. My heart starts to pound and Henry is going nuts. I feel myself flush and I realize I am holding my breath. He smiles as he rounds the corner enjoying his little joke. “I have shorts on.” I glare at him. “You were mad when I was in here naked the other day and you look disappointed to see me clothed today. There is just no pleasing you,” he winks.

  “I’m not disappointed,” I lie in my most convincing voice. “I’m going to take a long hot bath,” I say deciding that it is time to change the subject. I grab a glass and fill it with white wine and head to my bathroom. I put my hair up into a shower cap so it doesn’t frizz too much.

  Twenty minutes later, I am relaxed, lying in my jetted tub, the water still warm. The bubbles have started to disappear since I have been in here a while but I can still smell the vanilla bath soap twirling around in the air. I can’t stop thinking about how annoying Eli is to me now. It’s like him and Mason have switched places in my mind. Mason is the one giving me butterflies lately which really needs to stop. I look down at my stomach as if I can see Henry’s wings bat around in the water.

  Seeing Mason in the kitchen today half naked hasn’t left my mind either. I am now motivated to go to the gym again, that’s for sure. I am not fat by any means but I am a little flabby. My stomach is flat but my hips are wide. I have always been proud of my curvy figure and the decent size rack that goes along with it. I just need to tone a little…or a lot.

  I hear noises coming from my bedroom and a second later the bathroom door flys open. Mason is standing in the doorway looking worried. I don’t know what to do and the only thing I can think to do is try
to stand up, shoo him out and shut the door. It all happens in such a blur that as I go to get out of the tub, I slip with one leg out and one leg still in the tub. I scream and Mason starts to come towards me to help. I hold up my hand in a ‘don’t come any closer’ gesture and I manage to get my entire body back into the tub. The water is sloshing around and I try to corral the few bubbles left to cover myself up which is a lost cause. There are a total of five bubbles left.

  “Don’t you know how to knock?” I say letting irritation dominate my tone.

  “I’m sorry you have just been in here a while and I was worried about you. Are you ok?” he asks looking seriously concerned.

  “Just get out!” I half scream. I am beyond mortified right now and he knows it.

  “Well, I also came in here to ask you something and seeing as how I have already seen you completely exposed I might as well stay and ask.”

  “What is it?” I snap.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tonight.” This is the last thing I expected to hear from him especially after the little floor show I just gave.

  “Um…sure.” Is this a trick question?

  “Ok, just take your time getting dressed and let me know when you are ready to go. Wear something kind of nice” he says and then he closes the door behind him. If I’m not mistaken, I can see him smile before the door shuts. My heart is pounding and this time I am positive that Henry’s movements are visible in the water. Although, that could just be the aftermath of my Olympic tryouts for the swimming and gymnastics combined event. How embarrassing. That was his first time seeing me naked that he can remember and I was the opposite of sexy. I slowly sink into the tub and submerge my head trying to wash away the memory.

  8. Enough is Enough!

  “Gah!” I scream as I rummage through my closet. The floor looks like a tornado just blew through. I have tried everything on and nothing looks quite right. It’s just dinner with Mason, I think; a thought that should calm my nerves but instead it just makes me more anxious. Just as I am about to rip out my hair, I see one of my favorite black dresses half off the hanger. I grab it, try it on, and sag with relief that I finally found something I like. The dress is strapless with a sweetheart neckline. The material is a little thick and very stretchy so it clings to my hourglass figure. It hits just above my knee. I dig around for my bright red pumps and put on my matching skinny belt for a pop of color. My hair is full of beachy waves and hangs down my back. I look pretty good, I think as I examine myself in my full length mirror.

  I put on my jewelry and head out of my room. I can tell immediately that my shoes are going to be my biggest concern tonight. Hopefully grace is on my side, but the heel isn’t very high on them. If I concentrate, I should be ok.

  Mason is on the phone in the living room when I enter. He is gazing out the window looking absolutely stunning. He has on black slacks and a bright blue button down shirt that bunches a little around his muscular arms. Henry is back. I actually don’t know if he has left this entire evening.

  He must hear me put my clutch on the coffee table because he turns his gaze from the window to me. He starts at my feet and I can feel his eyes move slowly up my body until he meets my stare. I start to fidget as he continues to stare at me still talking on the phone. I look away trying to calm myself but when I turn to look at him again he is smiling at me.

  “Ok, mom I will call you later,” he says as he presses the end button on his phone and slips it into his pocket. His eyes haven’t moved from me but I am trying to look anywhere but at him.

  “Well, I’m ready. Where are we going?” I try to distract him from his penetrating gaze.

  “You look beautiful, Luce,” he says walking towards me slowly. He used to call me Luce all the time but he hasn’t since the accident. When he says it this time, it makes my heart thud. “Almost as beautiful as you did in the tub,” he laughs. I glare at him, grab my purse and head for the door. He sure knows how to ruin the moment.

  “Hey, I was just joking,” he says catching up with me and grabbing my arm. “And you smell really nice too.” That would be the vanilla bath soap, again highlighting my graceful afternoon.

  “Thank you. Where are we going?” I’m still a little irritated with him.

  “Roberto’s.”

  “Oh yum,” I say and then I pause. We go to Roberto’s regularly but there is no way Mason remembers that and I haven’t mentioned it to him. He can tell that I am thinking about something and he removes his hand from my arm and lets it fall to his side.

  “What is it?” he asks.

  “How do you know about Roberto’s?” He pauses for a second and then responds.

  “I drove past it today before I went to the gym. It has a beautiful park right next to it and I thought it might be a nice place to go. Have we been there before?”

  “Yes, we go all the time,” I admit. Oh, so his memory isn’t back. I’m surprisingly relieved.

  “Well, then we must have good taste because it looks delicious. I’ll drive.”

  The restaurant is packed but Mason, being the charmer that he is, gets us a private booth near the back of the restaurant. I order wine and Mason gets a beer as we look over the menu.

  “What are you having?” he asks pondering the menu options.

  “The usual,” I say casually. He looks up at me like he doesn’t understand and I remember that he wouldn’t know what my usual at Roberto’s is. “Alfredo,” I clarify with an apologetic smile.

  “I think I will get the lasagna,” he declares and I have to laugh because I remember him ordering it before and absolutely hating the sauce they put on top.

  “What?” he asks eyeing me and my laughter suspiciously.

  “You won’t like it. You usually get the ravioli.”

  “Thanks. Ravioli it is then.” We sit eating bread and the conversation flows smoothly. He has a lot of questions about his childhood that I try to answer. I fill him in on what his favorite movies are and what music he listens to. We laugh about the fact that he found a Kesha Pandora station on his iPhone because it is so out of character for him. “I kind of like it,” he says as he starts on his dinner.

  We share tiramisu for dessert and then Mason pays for dinner. “Do you want to go for a walk around the park?” he asks as we make our way out of the packed restaurant. I hesitate and look down at my shoes. He notices my reaction. “We don’t have to I just thought it was a nice night out.”

  “Let’s do it. I will just take off my shoes.” I clamber out of my pumps and hold them in one hand with my clutch in the other. The cobblestone path weaves around giant trees and patches of landscaped grass. Mason is still asking me questions but now he is focusing more on his teenage years. I can only tell him the stories I have heard but that seems to satisfy his needs. We laugh about his awful prom when his date canceled at the last minute and he wound up going with his nerdy lab partner. He asks about my high school days and I tell him about my theatre experiences and how I played Tweedle Dee in my last play. He thought that was really amusing.

  We make our way on the path until we are standing in front of a large, round fountain. The water cascades down the tiers of marble and the sound it makes is very pleasant. There are four street lamps forming a large square around the fountain and there are lights strung between the poles.

  “Wow,” I whisper. “It is beautiful here. I can’t believe that we have never walked over here before.” I risk a glance in his direction and he is smiling and gazing at the fountain. “Can I ask you something?” He turns his smiling face towards me.

  “Shoot,” he says.

  “Why did you want to do dinner tonight?” He just looks at me for a moment, standing about three feet away.

  “Well, I don’t remember our previous relationship, the one where we hated each other enough to be separated. I know we had our differences in Mexico…” he pauses for a second as though he is trying to figure out his wording. He steps closer to me so there is only a foot betwe
en us. My breathing accelerates and I pray that I don’t have alfredo breath. It’s a good thing I ate that mint after dinner. “Lucy, I don’t see all the drama from our past. All I see is a beautiful, hard working, strong willed woman cooking dinner for herself every night and sleeping in the bedroom next to me alone. I may have lost my memory but I’m still a man. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t find you extremely intriguing.”

  All I can do is concentrate on not falling over. While I know I am looking at Mason, I know it’s not him behind those piercing blue eyes. He is sort of a mix between the Mason I met years ago and a new man that I know nothing about. Whoever he is, he is blowing my socks off right now.

  “So, I guess you could say that I wanted to take you out on a date,” he finished his confession staring at me, willing me to say something. My look is one of suspicion I’m sure but I can hear the sincerity in his voice. All I can think is that I wish Henry and his friends would take their party elsewhere. I can’t think of anything to say so I just smile. That smile turns into a giggle and then full out laughter. It’s a damn good thing I took my shoes off or I would have fallen to the ground right here by the fountain.

  “Am I amusing you?” he says looking a little hurt.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just at a loss for words.” I stop laughing. His face turns serious, but gentle.

  “Then don’t say anything,” he says as he steps away from me and holds out his hand. I look from his face to his outstretched hand and place my hand gently in his. He laces his fingers in between mine and we continue on our walk through the park.

  He continues to hammer me with questions. Now he wants to know about college and our early dating years. I tell him about our first trip to the beach and how a wave splashed up around my ankles and sea weed tangled around my legs. I freaked out and threw myself at him screaming and that was the first time he kissed me.

  He parks his car in the driveway and we get out, heading for the front door. He can’t park in the garage because I parked crooked today. I must have been really out of it.