Remember This

by Shae Buggs

  I am pleasantly surprised to see Mason lying on the couch watching The Office when I walk in the door. It is our favorite show that we used to watch together. I set my purse down, take my shoes off, head into my bedroom and change into my silky nightgown. I would normally wear sweatpants and a t-shirt to lounge around in but I feel like I need to look my best around Mason. I head out to the living room and sit down on the couch, keeping a couple of feet between us.

  “I thought I heard you come in. I was afraid that you weren’t going to come out here and say goodnight.” His honest confession makes me blush.

  “I love this episode,” I say referring to the “Beach Games” episode that just started.

  “This show is so funny! Did I used to watch it?”

  “We used to watch it together,” I smile shyly at him. I don’t know why I feel so shy all of a sudden but I do. He sits up on the couch so we are sitting so close that our legs touch. He puts his arm around my shoulder and then turns back towards the TV. We sit like this laughing at the hot dog eating contest that Michael makes everyone participate in. I feel so comfortable in his arms and I snuggle into his shoulder. I look up at him and he is smiling down at me. I turn back to the TV but I am tired all of a sudden. I lay there trying to watch the show but my eyelids finally shut.

  “Hey,” Mason nudges me as the closing credits scroll across the screen. “You fell asleep.” I sit up trying to orientate myself.

  “I’m sorry. Did I snore?” Oh gosh, that would be embarrassing.

  He chuckles, “No, you didn’t.” He just stares at me for a minute like he is about to say something. I wait for him to talk first. “So, at the end of the episode, Pam walks across the hot coals and then tells Jim how she really feels.”

  “I remember how it ends. It’s one of my favorite episodes,” I say rubbing my eyes.

  “Well, it inspired me,” he says looking me right in the eye. I drop my hands from my face. I am no longer tired after the look he is giving me. His eyes are smoldering bright blue even in the dark room. “This has all been so weird. From what I have gathered, we didn’t get along before I lost my memory. It just seems like we get along so well now. None of it makes sense to me.” He pauses for a second, his eyes blazing into me. “But what I do know is that I have feelings for you.” I definitely stop breathing for a second and then regain my composure.

  “We’re different now. Ever since the accident, you…I…” I trail off not knowing how to say what I need to. “It feels like it used to with us, before everything fell apart.”

  He seems to think about my words for a minute before he responds. “Why did everything fall apart?”

  “I guess I got busy with work and you were busy with your dad’s business. We just grew apart. And one day, we just hated each other.”

  “It’s hard to believe that I could ever hate you,” he says reaching out and twisting his hands in my hair. “You’re so gorgeous, and funny, and sexy.” He leans in closer to me and I know from here on out, we aren’t talking anymore. I spring forward into his waiting arms and we kiss, only stopping to come up for air.

  Mason leans into me forcing me to lie down as he lies on top of me, supporting himself on his elbows. We continue to kiss, our tongues moving to their own rhythm. I am very glad I chose my silk pajamas now. I feel like it is my first time being with Mason all over again. I honestly can’t believe that this man lying on top of me is the same man that I detested a few weeks ago. My mind is brought back to the now as I feel Mason pull away. No! I think.

  “What’s wrong?” I say panting at an embarrassing pace.

  “I just want to make sure that this is what you want. I don’t want to ruin what we have going for us.”

  His words are so sweet and a shy smile spreads across my lips. “I want this.” Now.

  He also smiles looking shy and says, “Good, me too.” He leans in and resumes the kissing. My hands slide over his torso and his are pulling on the straps of my night gown. He slips the straps down and I free my arms reaching for his shirt. I pull it over his head and he breaks our kiss as he throws it on the ground. It has been a long time since I touched his muscular body and my hands are already exploring. He starts to kiss my throat and collar bone and he works his way down. He pushes my night gown down so it is bunched around my waist. His hands graze over me and I practically jump off the couch in response.

  He stands abruptly and gazes at me for a second. I feel sexy and not at all concerned about what my body looks like. Not that he hasn’t seen it before. My mind flashes back to the most recent time with the bathtub incident. I mean, my stomach isn’t too flabby looking…when I’m lying down…and sucking it in. At this hot moment though, I don’t even care.

  All I can do is stare up at Mason wondering what he is thinking. I know what I am thinking. He looks damn good standing there in front of me with just his pants on…oh, wait a minute…ok, I guess with nothing on. Mason peels his pants and boxers off which leaves him standing gloriously naked in the dim light in front of me. He smiles at the look of shock on my face and then climbs back on top of me and starts kissing me again. His hands roam freely over my body and mine glide over his back.

  He reaches the bottom of my nighty and pulls it up so the silk is wrapped only around my waist. I am completely exposed.

  “No underwear?” Mason smiles and I freeze. How do I respond to that?

  “Oh, well, I like to let it…um…all hang out at night,” I stutter. What in the name of all that is holy is wrong with me? Let it all hang out?

  “I like it,” he laughs and then he leans in again. His hands are on me and an involuntary noise leaves my mouth. Oops. As his hands move around…down there, I start to squirm. It tickles and I start to giggle. That giggle turns into an embarrassing laugh.

  “Am I missing something?” he says obviously amused by my outbreak.

  “It just tickles,” I say trying to reign in my laughter.

  “Oh, ok then. We can just skip that step then,” he says with a sly smile on his face. Before I have time to process what he says, I feel our most sensitive parts collide and I surrender myself to his rhythm. I’m not laughing anymore, that’s for sure.

  “Wow,” I say as we lay sprawled across our living room rug.

  “Wow?” he asks turning his head to look at me. “Is that a good ‘wow’ or a bad ‘wow’”? I want to scream that it is the best wow I have had in a long time. The kind that makes your toes curl and your head spin. I decide that he doesn’t need to know those details.

  “A good ‘wow’” I answer simplistically.

  “Me too. I have never felt anything like that before. You would think if there was one thing I remembered from my past, it would be that.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I say almost sheepishly.

  “Of course.”

  “Well…” I pause. This is weird to ask and I’m not sure that I know how to phrase my words. “If you don’t have your memory back, how do you know…um…how to have sex?” Thank goodness I finally spit it out. I feel embarrassed and it doesn’t help that he is now laughing at me. More like howling. I start to turn on my side away from him to escape the embarrassment but he grabs my arm and tugs me so I am lying on my back again. He props himself up on his elbow and looks at me. He is still chuckling but his eyes look sincere.

  “When I lost my memory, I lost details and stories from my past. I guess having sex is the same as knowing how to feed yourself or how to drive a car. It’s an instinct that is engrained in me so it isn’t something I can lose. That’s how the doctor explained it to me anyway.”

  “That makes sense, I guess.”

  “I mean, I may not remember your favorite position but I remember how to have sex in general,” he says on his back now, looking at the ceiling.

  “There was nothing general about what we just did,” I whisper to myself in a hushed, mumbled voice before I can stop myself.

  “What was tha-?” Mason says as he turns and looks at me.


  “Nothing,” I say quickly before he can finish his question but he is looking at me suspiciously. Damnit. He knows exactly what I said but I try not to think about that and I make my eyes follow the crown molding that surrounds the room. I want so badly to just lay here all night and talk to this man laying next to me that looks like Mason but doesn’t act like him but I am far too tired for that. “I’m exhausted,” I finally admit and as I try to sit up, Mason pulls me on my side as he props himself back on his elbow. We are inches from each other.

  “Hey,” he says looking at me with sincere eyes but quickly his face looks torn or like he’s in deep thought. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds.

  “Yes?” I respond breaking the silence. His face is back to sincere before he speaks again.

  “Never mind. Good night,” he says and he kisses the end of my nose and stands up. He extends his hand to help me up from the floor and my mind is reeling about what he wanted to say. “Oh, what time did you want to leave tomorrow for the lake?”

  “Early, probably around seven or so.”

  “Ok, I will be ready.”

  “Good night,” I say as I turn and head for my bedroom and he heads for the spare room. It seems weird that after everything we did tonight, that he would sleep in a separate room but I don’t know how to ask him to come with me. I decide that I will probably just pass out and snore anyways so I might as well be alone. I flop down on my bed after I set my alarm and realize that I only have six hours until I have to get up. I am asleep before I even have time to think about how tired I will be tomorrow.

  10. Gas and S’mores

  I turn off my alarm clock and can’t believe how rested I feel. The sun is barely showing through my curtains, casting dark shadows on the floor. I decide that I need to talk to someone about last night but I don’t have much time. Drey is probably the best person to call because she knows more about sex than Pamela Anderson. I know she will be asleep but I will be out of cell phone coverage for the today and tomorrow and I can’t hold in my news for that long. I also know that Drey will tell me that having sex with Mason is ok and I think I need that reassurance right now.

  “’Ello,” a groggy Drey whispers into the phone.

  “Hey, its me. I really need to talk to you.”

  “What time is it, Lucy?”

  “Its early but this is important. Mason and I…kinda…”

  “Oh my god, you totally slept with him didn’t you?” Drey shrieks into the phone not sounding the least bit tired anymore. I can hear her shock through the phone.

  “Is that bad?” I ask tentatively.

  “Absolutely not! It is about time. Lucy, my Grandma has had more sex than you in the past year.”

  “Please, Drey, I don’t want that mental image in my head,” I cringe.

  “Look, all I’m saying is that we all saw that kiss in Mexico. It was only a matter of time before you spread your legs for that gigantic-“

  “Alright, Drey!” I shout before she can finish her vulgar sentence. I can hear Mason moving around in the living room. “I have to go to the lake today for our family get together but I will call you tomorrow when I get back. Will you tell Kara for me?”

  “Oh, I already texted her while we were on the phone. She saw it coming too.”

  “I can’t believe you,” I start. “Actually I’m not surprised at all. I will call you later.” I hang up and start getting ready. Packing for the lake is hard to do when you are trying to look good for a man. It’s like Mason and I are dating again and I have to look my best at all times. I settle for my mint green shorts and a cute flowery top for today. I am wearing my coral one piece swim suit with the sides cut out. It looks kind of sexy against my tan skin and my curves. I head out of my room with my bag and sit on the couch checking my work emails on my phone while I wait for Mason. Since there will be no cell service for a couple of days, I need to get as much work done now that I can. Mason surprises me by coming in from the garage, all ready to go.

  “I just packed the car and we are all set when you’re ready,” he says smiling from ear to ear. He is wearing black swim shorts, a black v-neck, and black aviators. Black is my favorite color on him and I am practically drooling. I close my mouth as he starts to shake his head at me. “I hope it’s ok that we are taking the Range. My car isn’t really made for trips to the lake down gravel roads.”

  “That’s fine. I’m ready.” I put my bags in the car and Mason hops in the driver’s seat. As I climb in the car, I hope that this 45 minute drive isn’t awkward. Millions of questions are running through my head about our relationship and the elephant in the room, or car I guess. I don’t even know what to ask first. Are we going to have sex again? I hope the answer to this is yes! Henry is back just thinking about last night. That’s not a very appropriate question to ask so I need to think about something else to say. I’m at a loss as we speed down the road so I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

  “Do we have enough-“ I start but then get cut off as Mason starts to talk.

  “So, about last night-“he says and then stops realizing that we spoke at the same time. “You first,” he prompts looking at me and then back at the road. Shit! All of a sudden my question seems so stupid but he is patiently waiting for me to continue.

  “Gas,” I say not able to believe the word that is flowing out of my mouth. He looks at me with an uncomprehending look. “Do we have enough gas?” I repeat feeling extremely stupid. Wow, good one, Lucy.

  “I think so,” he laughs. “We have a full tank. Will that be enough?”

  “Yes, that should be plenty.” How embarrassing. I filled up yesterday. I knew we had a full tank. Of course a full tank of gas is enough you idiot! It’s not like you can have much more than that anyways. As I continue to reprimand myself for my stupidity, I remember that Mason had just brought up last night. “You were saying…” I continue.

  “I just wanted to talk about last night. The last thing I want is for things to be weird between us. I enjoyed last night. Did you?”

  More than you know , I think to myself. I don’t want to sound overly excited so I try to sound as calm as possible and fail. “Yes,” I say all too quickly and a little shrill. He chuckles.

  “Good. Maybe we can do that again soon. So, tell me about your family. Who will be here today?”

  That was quite the change in conversation. “Well, this reunion is for my mom’s side of the family. My parents will be there and my older sister Gracie and her husband Nate. They have a fourteen year old son named Liam. He is at that stage where he hates everything and everyone and he sits on his phone all day. They also have a daughter Piper. She is six going on twenty and is a ball of fire. And baby Aiden is about eight months old now.”

  “Wow,” Mason says eyes wide. “Three kids. Ok, who else?”

  “Grandpa Frank and Grandma Rose are my mom’s parents. Grandpa will be fishing the entire time we are there. We probably won’t even see him. Grandma doesn’t usually leave the cabin. She bustles around while she cooks and cleans. Aunt Kathy, the one from the wedding, will be there drunk as a skunk and pissed off that there are no men there that she can hit on. You probably have a big target on your back so watch out for her.” He makes a mocking horror face. “Her son Isaac is the one that owns the cabin with his wife Lily. They just got married a few years ago and they have a one year old named Abby. So, including us, I think that is fifteen.”

  “I will do my best to remember everyone’s names. And you said we all sleep in the same room?”

  “Yup. Well, grandma and grandpa get the private bedroom to themselves but everyone else sleeps in bunk beds or on the floor.”

  “Hopefully we will be next to each other,” Mason says as he grabs my hand. Right now, I couldn’t agree more.

  We pull up to the cabin and everyone is already here except for Nate and Gracie who are pulling in right behind us. The cabin is small and set back from the lake about 500 feet. I can see the boat tied to the end
of the big dock and the tubes and water skis are sticking out of the back. It smells like pine and the outdoors. The lake looks bright blue and inviting.

  “I hope you’re ready for this,” I say looking at Mason as he surveys his surroundings. He smiles and looks so at ease. My family has always liked him and he loves being around them. Of course, he wouldn’t remember that though. We get out of the car and I can immediately hear Aaden crying, Piper singing loudly and Gracie trying to herd everyone into the cabin.

  “Hi,” she says as she kisses my cheek and goes running after Piper around the car. “Hi, Mason!” she screams from the other side of their minivan.

  “Good to see you, Gracie!” he calls back. Nate walks over and shakes Mason’s hand and then gives me a big hug. I have always liked Nate. I don’t know how he puts up with my sister. I love her but she can be a pain.

  “Uncle Mason!” Piper screams as she comes barreling towards us. It looks like she is going to crash into Mason and I and then she leaps into the air.

  “Hello, Piper,” Mason says scooping her up in his arms and tickling her sides.

  “Uncle Mason I thought you lost your memory,” Piper says laughing as he continues to tickle her.

  “I did.”

  “Then how do you know my name,” she insists.

  “How could anyone forget you?” Mason says swinging her around in the air and then throwing her on his shoulders. She laughs and screams as Mason grabs our bags out of the car and runs up the stairs to the cabin with her clinging around his neck. We follow Mason up the stairs and greet everyone else. Liam told Gracie that he didn’t want to come in yet so he is sitting in the car still. Gracie holds up her hand indicating that he has five minutes to get up to the cabin.

  After an hour or so, Grandpa has already left for fishing, Grandma and Mason are getting the food ready for lunch, and the rest of us are sitting on the porch. Except for Liam. He is sitting in the main room that is full of bunk beds and air mattresses, just like I remember it. The beds are against the wall and the floor is covered in mattresses. There are two cribs that are set up at the far end of the room.