Remember This

by Shae Buggs

  “You what?” I scream unable to wrap my head around her confession.

  “I thought it would be good for you. He is so busy at work that he had to schedule a time three weeks from now so you have time to prepare. He tried to hook up with me and he was being super clingy so-“

  “So you are trying to pawn him off on me,” I say cutting her off.

  I stare up at the ceiling trying to drink this all in. I mumble a few four letter words and then Drey appears again from where she was hiding under the blankets.

  “Not exactly pawning him off. Look Lucy, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I just thought it would be good for you to get out a little and try to get out of this slump you are in.”

  “I’m not in a slump. I have been getting a lot done at work and I’m feeling quite accomplished lately. I have even tried yoga, which by the way, we should go to this morning.”

  She gives me a disgusted look. “Who works out on a Saturday morning?”

  “Here’s the deal; if you go to yoga with me this morning, I will consider going on the blind date.” I really don’t want to go on this date but it might be fun and I need a yoga partner today. I’m not feeling very motivated.

  Drey hesitates for a few pauses and then finally answers. “Fine,” she says surrendering. “But you know I hate yoga. I don’t like to be all calm and serene,” she says in a mocking tone.

  “If you want Mr. Clingy off your back then you better get your yoga pants on,” I say jumping out of bed. My head probably feels the same as Drey’s does but I pretend not to notice. I don’t want her to have another excuse not to go with me.

  We walk into the studio carrying our mats. Drey borrowed one of mine since she would never own one in a million years. She doesn’t do the exercise thing. She says she gets her workouts from sex. The studio is full today so we take our spots in the back corner of the room. Our instructor starts the music and I can feel Drey staring at me and I know why. The instructor looks like Professor Trewlaney from Harry Potter. She is an old hippy with long silver hair and a flowy robe in a rainbow of colors. I know Drey will think she is crazy but I don’t mind her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her shake her head.

  The class is half over before I know it and I can hear Drey panting.

  “I thought you said you were in shape from your sexcapades?” I say jokingly.

  “I thought I was too. Speaking of that, I really need to try this position next time,” she says as we stand bent over, our legs spread and grab our ankles. We start giggling and I can see the instructor and the old lady next to us staring in our direction.

  “Stop it,” I mouth to Drey. We transition into the downward dog position and I can’t help but feel relaxed. My breathing is regulated and I can feel my hamstrings stretch. The instructor tells us to squat and I slowly bend my knees. My back is stretching, my calves are burning and then it happens. A noise escapes me before I can stop it. I stiffen and hear Drey roar with laughter. Everyone in the studio turns and looks at us. Drey is now rolling around on the ground holding her stomach with tears pouring down her cheeks. I am going to kill her if I don’t die from embarrassment first.

  While the instructor makes her way towards us to shut us up I decide it is time for us to leave. I grab my mat and motion for Drey to grab her things. There is no time to roll the mat up so I just drag it behind me. I’m sure my face is beyond red. So much for feeling relaxed.

  “Thanks!” I scream at Drey as we walk back to the car. “Now I can never go back in there.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one who farted with my ass in the air in yoga class. That was all on you,” she says still laughing.

  “Just stop, ok. People do it all the time but they usually don’t have an audience laughing at them.”

  “You are still going on that date. A deal is a deal. I would just avoid the downward dog position that night.”

  “Shut up,” I snap but she just keeps laughing. I don’t think I will ever hear the end of this.

  I’m wearing a fitted maroon knee length dress with my metallic silver belt. It’s something that I would wear to work but it is a little on the sexy side. October is a little chilly in Seattle so I decide to wear a black blazer over the top. I think this is appropriate for a blind date. I am not super excited about this but I’m not dreading it either. If anything, it’s an excuse to get out of the house.

  The doorbell rings and I take a deep breath and turn the handle.

  “Hi,” he smiles and I can’t help but stare at his perfectly white teeth. His hair is brushed back and it looks like he has some sort of product in it. It’s a little longer but doesn’t hang down in the back. It looks like a male models hair. I take a quick glance at his clothes and notice that he is dressed very fashionably in a black shirt with a tightly fitting gray sports blazer and dark jeans.

  “Hi, I’m Lucy,” I say extending my hand to shake his.

  “I’m Larson,” he says politely reaching his arm out. When I shake his hand I feel like I am going to break it. It feels like a wet noodle. Maybe I am just used to a firm handshake from working in the business world. Or maybe this guy is a total loser.

  “Let me just grab my purse and we can go,” I say.

  He opens my car door and I step into his cherry red Audi. He walks around the car and slides into the driver’s seat.

  “So, where are we going?” I say trying to make small talk.

  “I thought we could go to Robertos. Have you been there before?” he asks.

  I pause for a second remembering my recent trip there with Mason. Larson notices my hesitation.

  “Is that place ok? We can go somewhere else,” he says.

  “No, that’s fine. I love Robertos,” I say trying not to sound ungrateful.

  Dinner isn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. We make small talk and I have figured out that Larson is really into working out. Actually, he is just really into himself. He tans, goes to the gym, and gets his chest waxed regularly. He is a really nice guy but there isn’t really a spark between us. Our night was very normal and the only exciting thing that happened was that the waiter that always waits on Mason and I, Carlos, came over to ask if I wanted my usual carb overload. Seeing as how Larson only ordered a salad with no cheese, croutons, or dressing, I was a little embarrassed by this incident. As I tried to tell Carlos that I would be getting a salad tonight, he didn’t listen and set a basket of bread on the table. I tried to give the basket back to him and I ended up dumping the bread all over the floor. Larson looked mortified but tried to be polite about it.

  When he dropped me off at home, we exchanged an awkward hug at my door step and then he left. If I’m not mistaken, he was playing Madonna as he zoomed off.

  I call Drey and tell her about the night. I am exhausted and decide to just go to bed. I feel like I shouldn’t be dating or like I’m not ready for it yet. It just doesn’t sound appealing. And to top it all off, I am still married. I finish my nightly routine, climb into bed, and drift off into a deep sleep, dreaming about bread, weight lifting, and slicked back hair.

  Ring, Ring. I lazily open one eye and see that my sister calling is the annoying sound waking me up. She always calls early in the morning. I guess 8 isn’t early for a mother of three.

  “’Ello,” I say groggily.

  “Good morning sleeping beauty,” she says all too chipper.

  “Hi, Gracie.”

  “I called because your niece has something to ask you.”

  “Ok, put her on,” I say wondering what Piper is up to now.

  “Aunt Lucy!” she screams into the phone. I pull my cell away from my head. I’m awake now.

  “Hello, Piper.”

  “Aunt Lucy, you have to come trick-or-treating with me next week. I’m going as a robot,” she says enthusiastically. Is it already Halloween? I guess I have been so busy with work that I haven’t paid much attention to the date.

  “Of course. I will be there.”

  “Ok, but yo
u have to dress up. I can’t wait. I’m going to get so much candy.”

  “Ok, Piper. I will see you next week.”

  “Bye, Aunt Lucy!”

  Maybe this will be fun. I could use a good night out with the family. I have some old costumes in my closet that I can wear.

  I stand in front of the mirror and evaluate my masterpiece. I look like a real witch. I even took the time to put a wart on my nose using some putty I found. I have fake, crooked, yellowing teeth to add to the look. My black dress is tattered and hangs down to my ankles with a black pointy hat to match. Not too shabby.

  I pull up in front of Gracie’s house just before dark and there are already little kids running around the neighborhood.

  I can see Piper jumping up and down in the window and she opens the door to let me in.

  “Wow, don’t you look robotic,” I say admiring her costume. She is wearing silver leggings, a silver shirt, and a box that is painted silver is fitted around her torso. She even has a tinfoil hat.

  “You look like a scary, ugly witch,” she says.

  “Thank you. That’s what I was going for.”

  “Aiden, don’t you look adorable,” I say picking up my nephew the pumpkin. He has on the cutest little orange and black costume. “Liam, what are you supposed to be? You look scary.”

  “I’m a zombie,” he says. His white t-shirt is shredded and he has blood all over his face and body. I shudder.

  “Hi, Luce,” Gracie says as her and Nate come out of the kitchen. They are dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.

  “Hi guys. You look great!” The doorbell rings. Since I am closest to the door I pick up the big bowl of candy and open the door. I love this part of Halloween. It’s so great to see all of the little kids’ costumes.

  “Ok, let’s see who we have here,” I say opening the door and looking low to the ground for the little kids. I don’t see little goblins or power rangers or ninja turtles. I see knee caps. I lift my gaze and see the scariest thing I have seen in a while. Mason.

  13. Wicked Confessions

  “What the hell are you doing here,” I say but I can tell by his expression he wasn’t expecting to see me either. I glance behind me hoping that Piper didn’t hear my choice words but everyone is too busy watching Liam spread fake blood all over his shirt. As I turn back to Mason, I immediately regret wearing my ugly witch costume especially since he looks dazzling. He is dressed up like a man from the 50’s I think. His jeans are cuffed on the bottom and his black shirt is tight fitting. He has on a black leather jacket and his hair is slicked back. In other words, he looks absolutely stunning.

  “Uncle Mason!” Piper screams as she runs over to him.

  “Why didn’t you two come together?” Gracie asks. I can’t tell her that Mason and I aren’t together because she will tell my mom and then my mom will call me five times a day crying about how she wishes I was happy. I can’t handle that on top of everything else.

  “Oh, I had to work late so we took separate cars,” I say trying to bluff. Piper must have called Mason’s cell so she could tell him to dress up.

  “Right,” Mason says as he walks in the house.

  “Shall we go?” I say grabbing my broom trying to push past him and get out the door as fast as possible. Now that I know how this night is going, I want it over as soon as possible. As I stand outside on the front porch, I notice that I am alone. I turn around and see everyone staring at me from inside the house. “What? Aren’t we ready?” I say through the open door.

  “Yes!” Piper yells.

  “Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?” Gracie scolds grabbing Aiden. The rest of the family follows her out the door.

  “I just thought we were ready to go,” I lie. Piper and Liam run ahead of everyone. Liam isn’t really into the whole trick-or-treating thing anymore but he thought it would be fun to take his sister out. He is a really good big brother when he isn’t brooding.

  It is chilly out but my costume has lots of layers so I’m not too cold. It smells like fall outside, like leaves and pumpkins.

  As we walk around the neighborhood, I try to stay behind everyone so they don’t hear me mumbling profanities. I am still so angry with Mason for lying to me. I’m sure he isn’t happy with me either but I think he has done the most damage to our relationship.

  Aiden won’t leave Mason’s side all night. Damn, he is good with kids. I always feared that one day when we had kids that they would like him more than me. I know it’s a silly fear but he seems so natural with them. I guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

  I look around and notice how decked out this neighborhood is. There are tombstones in the yards and spider webs hanging everywhere. Most people replaced their outside lights with purple, orange, or green bulbs and it gives the streets and eerie glow.

  “Aunt Lucy, come with me to this house,” Piper yells from up ahead.

  “I will be right there,” I say and walk towards the creepy mansion in front of us. As I walk past Mason I notice he isn’t carrying Aiden anymore so I stick my broom out in front of him. He trips but doesn’t fall. Dammit. He doesn’t say anything but I can feel him glaring at me.

  “Piper this house is pretty scary looking,” I say genuinely scared for my life. The house is dark and there is a purple light on the front porch. It is so dark out front that I can barely see the rest of the family watching us from the sidewalk. Piper looks around and then rings the door bell but we don’t hear any sounds inside. No one answers.

  “Ring it again,” I say getting a little creeped out. She does, and again no one answers. “I guess they are gone for the night. As we start to turn around, we are deafened by an unexpected noise filling the air. There are two men running at us from both sides with chainsaws in their hands. A strobe light comes on and it looks like they are running in slow motion towards us. The look in their crazy eyes is what scares me the most.

  “AAAHHHHH” we scream and we fly off the porch. I run past Piper not even thinking to protect her from the monsters following us. I trip on my skirt as we run through the yard towards the sidewalk but I manage to stay upright. I am terrified and I can tell by the screeching behind me that Piper is too. I look up to warn my family but I see that they are laughing at us. I stop running and try to compose myself. I should have known those weren’t real murderers chasing after us. It’s Halloween, Lucy! Get your shit together, I reprimand myself.

  I turn around and glare at the boys who chased us. I can tell they are pleased with our reaction. “You didn’t even give us candy!” I scream after them as they resume their hiding place.

  “Aunt Lucy, I’ve never seen you look so terrified,” Liam snorts.

  “Yeah, even the wart on your nose was trembling,” Mason laughs and I shoot him a death glare. He stops laughing. Everyone stops laughing.

  “Piper are you ok?” Nate asks brushing the hair out of her face.

  “I wasn’t even that scared until Aunt Lucy left me behind,” she says. Oops.

  “Sorry about that,” I reply sheepishly and everyone starts laughing again. I stalk off down the street trying to get away from the humiliation.

  The rest of the night is uneventful compared to the chainsaw incident. We make it back to the house and Piper and Liam have their candy dumped all over the floor picking out their favorites and getting rid of the sketchy looking pieces. Aiden is conked out in Mason’s arms.

  “Well, I’m going to get going,” I say kissing Piper on the head and patting Liam’s back.

  “Bye,” they both yell. They are so engrossed in what they are doing that they don’t even look up. I give Gracie and Nate a hug and then hesitantly walk towards Mason. I lean in and give Aiden a kiss on the cheek. Mid smooch, I get a whiff of Mason’s cologne and memories flood my head. Panicking, I fly backwards and Mason stares at me like I am crazy. I don’t want him to know what just happened.

  “Is something wrong?” he asks.

  “Nope. Nothing. Just…gotta be…gettin
goin…and yup,” I stutter. “See you at home,” I finish grabbing my broom and rushing out the door before anyone can say anything else to me. I am a train wreck.

  I’m all flustered driving home. I wasn’t expecting to see him tonight and I really wasn’t expecting all my emotions to come flooding back. I hate seeing him, but at the same time a part of me was excited to see him. I want to scream at him for lying to me but I also want to forgive him. I hate him, but I feel like I still love him too.

  I wake up and hear myself scream “Not your candy cane!” What is wrong with me and what am I dreaming about? My room is bright and I can tell that I have slept in. I feel like a noise woke me up but I don’t hear anything now so I just lay back down.

  I gaze out my window and notice that it snowed last night. My window is frosted around the edges and I can see about two inches of snow along the ledge. That means the whole town will be shut down today. Its annoying that no one around here can drive in the snow. I guess the only reason I know how is because of the Christmases I spent in Montana.

  My grandparents have a cabin on the lake there so Gracie and I spent a lot of time there in the summer. My family thought it might be fun to pack everyone up and go to the cabin for Christmas every other year so that’s exactly what we did. Sometimes it would snow a foot in one night and we would have to shovel our way out of the cabin to go into town for groceries. Once we were old enough to drive, Gracie and I would take turns driving to the store. My dad said it would be good practice and he was right.

  It snows one flake in Seattle and the crazy drivers come out. I never understood why people go 10 MPH on the freeway because there are snow flurries and why people in Subaru’s think they are invincible on the ice. I do miss my winters in Montana though. Maybe we should all go again next year.

  The doorbell rings pulling me out of my reverie. That must have been what woke me up in the first place. Who could it be? It’s probably Drey or Kara. My hair is a mess but they have seen me in worse conditions. I am wearing my pajama shorts with pink poodles on them and an old sorority t-shirt. I open the door with my eyes half open and immediately think I am dreaming. Mason is standing there in a black jacket and jeans looking his normal gorgeous, but a little sad self. I suddenly realize this is not a dream.