Captain Awesome Goes to Superhero Camp

by Stan Kirby

  Captain Awesome stepped forward. “I’ll send those lasers back to the evil ball of yarn that they unrolled from!”

  “May the Cheese be with you,” said Nacho Cheese Man.

  It’s time to show those Cloudy Heights Super Goofs who the real superhero is! Captain Awesome thought as he charged for the lasers with a shout of “MI-TEEEEE!”

  JUMP!

  ROLL!

  TWIST!

  TWANG!

  Twang?! Captain Awesome’s foot was caught in a yarn laser. The more he struggled to break free, the more he tangled himself. Soon his whole body was wrapped up in yarn like a cape-wearing fly in a spider’s knitted web.

  “Aaaargh! I’ve been yarned!” Captain Awesome shouted. “Go! Complete the mission without me!”

  As Nacho Cheese Man and Supersonic Sal rushed to help untangle Captain Awesome from the yarn, the rest of the heroes burst out in laughter.

  And no one laughed louder than Amazing Man.

  I’m telling you, the Cloudy Heights Super Crew should really be called the Cloudy Heights Super Crew of Bad Guys!” Captain Awesome whispered to Nacho Cheese Man and Supersonic Sal as they stood in line to get their dinner.

  “Are you sure? Samantha has been nice enough to me,” replied Supersonic Sal.

  The trio of heroes took their trays and headed toward six empty seats. But then the worst thing happened: Amazing Man, Whiz Kid, and Super Silent Sam slid into three of the open chairs.

  “We can’t sit next to them while we eat!” Captain Awesome gasped.

  “Guys, I promise, Super Silent Sam isn’t that bad,” Supersonic Sal said. “Look. She’s even smiling at us.”

  Super Silent Sam offered a small smile, then quietly took a bite of her hot dog.

  “Fine, we’ll sit next to them.” Captain Awesome sighed. “But only because the other open seats are next to Stink Bomb Kid. He smells worse than Queen Stinkypants.”

  Captain Awesome and Amazing Man didn’t take their eyes off each other as the Sunnyview Superhero Squad sat in the empty seats.

  “By the way, Amazing Man, I did some measurements,” Whiz Kid reported. “Dart is now 36.2 inches long from head to tail.”

  “Whoa! He’s twice as big as last summer!” Amazing Man replied, breaking off his staring contest with Captain Awesome.

  “Who’s Dart?” Supersonic Sal asked.

  “Only the most amazing sidekick in the history of sidekicks,” Amazing Man declared. He pointed to a large iguana in a tank next to the window. “Dart stays at camp during the year and uses his super zap-tongue to keep the grounds safe from evil while we’re away.”

  “Well, my sidekick is Turbo the hamster,” Captain Awesome said. “And he could run circles around your bug zapper.”

  Just then, Nacho Cheese Man pressed the nozzle on his tri-flavored cheese. The can sputtered and spit out a glob of cheese that splattered on Whiz Kid’s sleeve.

  “Hey! Watch where you’re pointing that thing! I’m lactose intolerant!” Whiz Kid snapped.

  “Sorry! It was a major cheese malfunction. Honest!” Nacho Cheese Man explained.

  “No one cheeses the Cloudy Heights Super Crew!” Amazing Man cried. He flung a spoonful of gooey mac and cheese at Nacho Cheese Man.

  “And no one mac-and-cheeses the Sunnyview Superhero Squad!” Captain Awesome flung a spoonful of mashed potatoes. They splattered across Amazing Man’s chest . . . and all over the back of a kid who called himself Captain Laser Eye.

  “Surprise Spud Sneak Attack!” Captain Laser Eye shouted, and threw a blob of mashed potatoes back at Captain Awesome.

  Shouts of “food fight!” filled the air. Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, pudding, hot dogs, peas, carrots . . . if it could be thrown, it was soon sailing across the dining hall in a crazy explosion of food-fighting frenzy!

  Eugene learned two very important lessons that night. Lesson one: mac and cheese is great for dinner but not great to wear as a hat. Lesson two: food fights are awesome, but cleaning up after a food fight is the exact opposite.

  Mary Marvelous gave a stern warning that messy food fights were for villains. And villains never get dessert. After that announcement, none of the campers were happy with Eugene or Eric.

  • • •

  The next day training started with lessons on how to capture a supervillain.

  “The first step is to make sure the bad guys are always secure and won’t be able to escape. So I’m going to teach you how to make super-handcuffs.” Super Todd held up a piece of blue rope. “This is unbreakable rope from Planet Rope-a-Ton!” he said.

  “Oooh! I love alien rope!” Nacho Cheese Man said.

  After learning to tie an Ultra Knotastical Knot, the heroes used their skills to capture a supervillain—who looked a lot like a scarecrow with a cape.

  TWIRL!

  THROW!

  GOTCHA!

  Captain Awesome easily lassoed the scarecrow.

  As the other supercampers gave it a try, Captain Awesome leaned toward Nacho Cheese Man and Supersonic Sal. “Let’s make this a little harder. I bet I can capture a moving target!” he said.

  “Okay. Try to catch me!” said Supersonic Sal.

  Captain Awesome twirled the rope over his head. With a shout of “Lasso away!” he threw the loop right at Supersonic Sal. But Captain Awesome threw it too hard. It went over Sal’s head and lassoed Amazing Man by mistake.

  “Help! The scarecrow’s got me!” Amazing Man yelled out, startled. Then he realized that the creepy scarecrow wasn’t the one holding the other end of the rope.

  “Oops,” Captain Awesome said.

  As Whiz Kid and Super Silent Sam rushed to help free him, Amazing Man glared at Captain Awesome. The rest of the kids burst into laughter at the accident.

  The rest of the day was packed with classes in heroic speech-making, lessons on how to escape a supervillain’s deathtrap, battle training with cardboard “robots,” and flying high with flight training on the zip line.

  Flying would be the best superpower ever! Eugene decided as he flew through the air.

  Eugene and Charlie returned to their cabin and flopped onto their lame bottom bunks. “Oh man, what a day,” said an exhausted Eugene. “Who knew training to save the world would be so tiring?”

  “I’d like a supernap,” Charlie agreed.

  But just as Charlie’s head hit the pillow, Super Todd raced into their cabin.

  “Mary Marvelous has been captured by the supervillain group the Evil Bunch!” Super Todd cried. “We need everyone’s help to rescue her!”

  ZIP!

  CAPE!

  COSTUME!

  Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man were ready in a flash. They joined Super Todd and the other heroes outside the cabins.

  Super Todd unrolled a map on the ground. Mary Marvelous was being held at the far end of camp.

  “Your mission is to save Mary Marvelous and make sure the Evil Bunch doesn’t capture the Justice Cape.” Super Todd pointed to a cape hanging from a nearby tree. “That cape must not fall into the wrong hands!

  “I gotta warn you though: These are some real nasty villains. They drink straight from the milk carton and they never share their desserts! Anyone who gets tagged by a supervillain is frozen until another hero tags them!” Super Todd said. He paused and looked directly at Captain Awesome before going on. “The only way you’ll be able to succeed in this mission is if you all work together.” And with that, Super Todd blew his whistle and shouted, “Let’s go!”

  The supercampers charged like kids racing toward a birthday cake. One by one they were tagged by supervillains. Bat Knight! Frozen! Sneaky Petra! Frozen! Cartoon Carlton! Frozen! Stink Bomb Kid! Frozen—and still stinky! Frozen Gal! Double frozen!

  This isn’t working! Captain Awesome realized as he watched hero after hero getting tagged. And no one had stayed behind to watch the Justice Cape!

  Then the answer hit him like a pancake. This was just like the time Super Dude had to defeat Dr. Dentist
and stop his Mighty Molar Army from drilling to the center of the Earth in Super Dude No. 111. Super Dude had to team up with his archnemesis, Captain Copy Cat, who was basically a less cool copy of Super Dude.

  “Two rights can never make a wrong, and heroes fighting together will be twice as strong!” It was what Super Dude had said as he and Captain Copy Cat flossed Dr. Dentist all the way to Tooth-catraz prison.

  Captain Awesome skidded to a stop . . . which caused Amazing Man to collide with him and fall to the ground.

  “You did that on purpose!” Amazing Man yelled.

  Captain Awesome extended his hand. “ ‘Two rights can never make a wrong, and heroes fighting together will be twice as strong.’ If you join your amazingness with my awesomeness, no villains will be able to stop us.”

  Amazing Man looked up, surprised. “That’s what Super Dude said when he teamed up with Captain Copy Cat in Super Dude No. 111. Together they kicked the cavity out of Dr. Dentist!”

  TEAM

  UP!

  Captain Awesome grabbed Amazing Man’s hand and pulled him up. With the duel cry of “Mi-Teeee!” and “Amaaaaaazing!” the greatest superhero superteam in the history of Camp Ka-Pow was formed!

  Okay, so here’s the plan,” Captain Awesome said. “Nacho Cheese Man: You use your canned cheese powers to distract the bad guys. Super Silent Sam, you sneak around as silently as you can and untag the frozen heroes. Supersonic Sal, since you’re the fastest, it’s up to you to save Mary Marvelous. And, Whiz Kid, use all your brainpower to figure out the safest path for Supersonic Sal to take to rescue her.”

  “And Captain Awesome and I will defend the Justice Cape,” Amazing Man added. “There’s no way any supervillains can get past us if we work together.”

  “Sunnyview Cloudy Heights Superhero Mega Crew, go!” the heroes chanted, and raced off on their separate missions.

  Nacho Cheese Man sped past the villains, squirting cheese in the air. “Beware the power of canned cheese!” he shouted.

  As the villains ran after him, Super Silent Sam quietly untagged the frozen heroes. Meanwhile, Whiz Kid calculated the safest path to the captive Mary Marvelous. Supersonic Sal raced off like a rocket while Captain Awesome and Amazing Man guarded the Justice Cape.

  When the villains realized Nacho Cheese Man was just a distraction, they charged for the cape.

  TAG!

  DODGE!

  FREEZE!

  DODGE!

  Captain Awesome and Amazing Man used their amazingly awesome powers to freeze tag the villains and dodge being frozen themselves. But then, just when it looked like they’d frozen every last villain, one reached for Amazing Man.

  “Nooooooo!” Captain Awesome shouted, and dove right between Amazing Man and the villain.

  TAG!

  Captain Awesome fell to the ground, frozen. Amazing Man tagged the villain, freezing her too.

  “You . . . you sacrificed yourself to save me?” Amazing Man asked.

  “I did what any hero would do,” Captain Awesome replied. “After all, good beating bad is what matters most.”

  “There’s no superhero more Mi-Tee than you,” Amazing Man said.

  “Thanks. Now could you untag me so I can move?” requested Captain Awesome.

  Amazing Man untagged Captain Awesome just as Supersonic Sal returned with Mary Marvelous.

  The mission was over! The supercampers had won! “Three cheers for Captain Awesome!” Super Silent Sam called out.

  Everyone stared at Super Silent Sam in stunned silence.

  “What? He deserves it,” she said.

  The supercampers cheered: “Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray!”

  Nacho Cheese Man, Supersonic Sal, Amazing Man, Whiz Kid, and Super Silent Sam high-fived! They had worked together as a team and defeated evil!

  Beware the pencil power of the Power Pencil,’ says evil Lord Stickman!” Eugene McGillicudy whispered. He scribbled his pencil across his notebook where he had drawn a stick figure villain wearing a crown and holding a laser.

  “How are you doing, Eugene?” His best friend Charlie Thomas Jones held up his own drawing. It was a pile of liquid yellow cheese with red and blue spots. “Stick Figure Nacho Cheese Man just covered Stick Figure King Boulderface in hot pepper cheese,” Charlie said. “I colored the cheese.”

  “What’s with the blue spots?”

  “My red marker dried out,” Charlie explained. “So, who’s going to defeat Lord Stickman?”

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  LITTLE SIMON

  An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 • First Little Simon paperback edition May 2015 • Copyright © 2015 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. LITTLE SIMON is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and associated colophon is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. Designed by Jay Colvin. The text of this book was set in Little Simon Gazette.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Kirby, Stan. Captain Awesome goes to superhero camp / by Stan Kirby ; illustrated by George O’Connor. — First edition. pages cm. — (Captain Awesome ; 14) Summary: “Captain Awesome and the Sunnyview Superhero Squad can’t wait to venture into the woods and get some real superhero training at Camp Ka-Pow. That is, until they meet the Cloudy Heights Super Crew. These campers must be supervillains in disguise”— Provided by publisher. [1. Camps—Fiction. 2. Superheroes—Fiction. 3. Supervillains—Fiction.] I. O’Connor, George, illustrator. II. Title. PZ7.K633529Cagp 2015 [Fic]—dc23 2014021717

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3154-5 (hc)

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3153-8 (pbk)

  ISBN 978-1-4814-3155-2 (eBook)