by Brooks, Tori
“. . . something’s going on, he accidentally confirmed that much.” Kenny’s voice was slightly tinny, but recognizable.
“Should we ask Bryan? He always seems to know what’s on the kid’s mind.” Jess’s voice didn’t seem to suffer as much from the bug’s deficiencies, a curiosity Dev never put time into researching. Flynn’s voice didn’t either and it irritated him.
“No, he said Bryan didn’t know anything about it.”
“You believe him? It’s late but we could call him. You could call him. I’m not risking Brenda’s wrath.”
“You’re pathetic, you know that?”
“You take her on.”
Kenny laughed. “No need. I believe him when he said Bryan doesn’t know. And he said he wanted to write poetry about it too. I thought that was odd.”
“Why? He writes a ton of poetry about Lindsay, you know that. Almost all the recent love songs we have are about her in one way or another.” Someone got up and moved around. The footfalls were heavy but didn’t slide and Dev assumed it was Jess. Kenny was shorter and usually shuffled his feet slightly. “It kind of makes me sick to think about that you know. I have to sing those love songs.”
“Yeah, I know. Just think of someone else. I know you do when you’re having sex, so you can certainly do it when you’re just singing a song,” Kenny said. Dev was confident Kenny just referenced Cassie and he didn’t want to hear this.
There was an awkward pause before Jess answered. “Not all the time. And I’m pretty sure I never told you that,” Jess said, his voice lower now and full of emotion.
“Lucky guess. Maybe Dev’s writing break up songs, does that thought cheer you up?”
“It would if there was any chance it was true.”
Dev clicked his mouse to turn off the bug. He’d heard enough. Once again he learned more about Jess’s obsession with his sister than he wanted to know. This time he had no one to blame but himself. And to think Jess thought Dev’s relationship with Lindsay was sick. He was one to talk, Dev shook his head in disgust.
Taking off the headphones, he left them on the desk and pushed his office chair the short distance to the bottom bunk of his bed where his suitcase lay open. Rifling through his carefully folded clothes, he found a moleskin notebook. Returning to his desk, Dev opened the notebook and remembered seeing Lindsay for the first time in that slinky pink dress. Then how she looked in the dim light in his car. Her shoulder – alabaster skin, her hair – he couldn’t find the words to describe her hair. Not golden really, it was lighter, finer. Platinum was overused. He’d have to look up precious metals. What would liquid light look like?
Ignoring the lack of support he received from two of his best friends, Dev poured himself into describing what falling in love felt like.
Chapter Six
Lindsay watched from her window as Flynn’s silver Jaguar pulled up in front of her house. He got out and hesitated, looking at the house. She was curious about why Flynn was here, but not unhappy about it. If Flynn was here it had to be to meet with her behind Dev’s back. He would never forgive his stepfather. Flynn had to know that and he was still trying to smooth things over between them. That meant it was important to Flynn that he speak to her, so he was being sneaky. But why now? Flynn could have talked to her at any point in the past few months without Dev finding out. Assuming of course Lindsay wasn’t going to tell, which she wasn’t, but Flynn didn’t know that. What changed?
She did, Lindsay smiled. Dev wouldn’t have told Flynn about last night, not in a million years. He probably didn’t tell the guys much either. But they clearly knew something was up and it was enough to make papa bear risk it. If she’d known it would be this easy to rouse Flynn from his den, she’d have done something like this a while ago.
Stepping back from the window as Flynn walked up the path to the house, Lindsay checked her appearance. Dev should be busy all afternoon. Her dad would probably leave them alone and her mom was running a group session. Perfect.
The doorbell rang, Lindsay let her dad get it. She listened to the greetings, Flynn’s explanation, and her dad’s footsteps on the stairs. And her mom’s car coming to a halt in the driveway. No!
Lindsay looked out the window as Jack knocked on her door, just to make sure she heard that right. “Come in,” she called. Sure enough, there was Sabrina’s car. The front door closing downstairs put a damper on Lindsay’s original plans. Maybe her mom was just popping home to grab something.
“Flynn’s here to see you. Dev’s father,” Jack said.
“Stepfather,” Lindsay corrected. “Dev’s particular.” She smiled. “I’ll be right there.”
His brow furrowed briefly, probably recalling that he was her stepfather and wondering about their own relationship, but he nodded and left. Lindsay considered what options she had for handling her mother and came up with nothing. She’d have to wing it.
Leaving her room, she heard Flynn and Sabrina talking. Cordial, conversational, chatty – just great. Lindsay crept down the stairs and across the entry, trying to listen.
“And you’re intervening? You should know better,” Sabrina chided.
“You’re right, I do. He’ll be furious if he finds out, but yes, I’m intervening. Actually, I’m investigating at this point. It’s not easy to distract Dev like this. Even Jess’s pranks aren’t making an impact, and that’s really saying something. It’s a problem and we’re worried.”
“Lindsay’s a problem?” Sabrina asked. Lindsay heard the warning in her mother’s voice. She would be flattered by her adopted mother’s protective instinct, but she really didn’t want it right now.
“No. I think Lindsay’s been good for Dev. She’s been very patient with him, and understands him differently than the boys do. That’s why I think talking to her will be okay.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Mr. Petersen,” Sabrina shook her head and spied Lindsay in the entry. One plucked eyebrow rose and Lindsay held her head high and walked into the living room as if she’d just arrived.
“Don’t I know it? And call me Flynn.”
Flynn changed his focus from Sabrina to Lindsay. “Ah,” Flynn said.
“What?” Lindsay looked up at him, as if she didn’t know. Flynn gave her a quick once over.
“I was going to ask if you knew why Dev’s distracted, but I think I found the answer,” Flynn said giving her a slower second look.
Lindsay grinned.
“Come sit with me a moment, will you?” Flynn gestured. Lindsay nodded and sat on the sofa beside him. Sabrina stayed, taking a chair across the room and watched them. Lindsay didn’t care for a chaperone, but she’d deal with it.
“I know you and Dev did video conferencing sometimes,” Flynn began. Lindsay could easily guess what was on his mind, but let him lead her to it anyway.
“For weekend dates.” Lindsay nodded.
“And did he notice you change your hair, makeup, and wardrobe?”
Lindsay looked away sheepishly toward her mother, wishing she would go away. “Um, no. I wore a wig and my old clothes and makeup.”
“So you could surprise him, I suppose. I assume it worked.”
“He was speechless. It was cute,” Lindsay agreed.
“I bet. Why the need to drop a bomb on him after all that time of patiently moving slow?”
“Um, I . . .” Lindsay’s eyes darted to her mother again then away when she realized Sabrina was watching her intensely. Damn.
“Lindsay?” Sabrina asked, her voice low with maternal authority.
“Dev and I have been dating for a year. I knew he was shy at the beginning and I helped him with that. And he’s a lot better. I . . . I just wanted to kind of . . . bring him up to speed,” she finished softly.
“Lindsay!” Sabrina said sharply.
“Relax, Mom, Dev isn’t like that. Nothing happened.” Lindsay slouched in defeat.
Flynn turned to Sabrina. “I’m missing something.”
Sabrina looked at hi
m, then her daughter, seemingly unsure of what to say. Lindsay spared her the trouble.
“I’m a nymphomaniac,” Lindsay told him. Flynn turned to look at her in surprise. “I was abused when I was really little and I’ve never really got it under control.”
Flynn’s jaw dropped, but he recovered from his surprise and pulled himself together quicker than Lindsay expected. “I, uh, assume by now you’ve discovered Dev’s ideologies run pretty counter to your . . . ah, needs.”
“I knew that. We talked about it before he left for MIT. I just hoped he’d changed his mind. It’s hard.” Lindsay stared at her fingers, as she nervously played with her nails. Flynn reached over and pushed a lock of hair away from her face and behind her ear, making her jump slightly. He pulled his hand away and Lindsay looked at him apologetically. Flynn didn’t mean to startle her. He looked sympathetic. Of course he would be. Out of anyone she knew, Flynn was probably most likely to understand. She wasn’t surprised to see confirmation of that on his face.
“It is hard, you can’t push him on this one. If it was before he left for college it’d be different, but now . . . he’s eighteen, you’re sixteen. You’re jailbait and neither one of us want to see him crucified on the altar of public perception,” Flynn said quietly.
“Lindsay, I think you’ve been good for him, and I think his stance on sex is too rigid. We both care about Dev, the difference of course is that he believes it when you say it.”
Lindsay fidgeted and Flynn watched her.
“I’m not. Jailbait, I mean. In Washington, the age of consent is sixteen. Technically I’m legal.”
Flynn chuckled softly. “You’re right. I forgot the laws differ from state to state, and it’s not like when I was his age. I doubt the media will be as forgiving of the technicality. Neither of us want to see him judged by public opinion then.”
Lindsay nodded and gave a slight shrug. “Bryan and Brenda were high school sweethearts, Dev and I met in high school. Different ones, but details tend to be glossed over for a good story, you’re right. Being high school sweethearts fits his image and I think they’ll overlook our slight age difference too. Especially when he’s spending so much effort to keep me in his life when I’m trapped in high school and he’s moved on to college. I think he’d be okay.”
Lindsay paused as Sabrina got up to answer the telephone.
“Listen, honest and above board?” she asked quickly, before her mom returned.
“Please.”
“You’re trying to protect him, and I appreciate it even if Dev wouldn’t. Abstinence is reaching a little high, given his job and exposure, don’t you think?”
“I do. I counseled just maybe waiting until he was sure of a relationship, that he was serious about the girl. He didn’t take it well,” Flynn admitted.
“Was this after he found out about Mindy?”
From the expression on his face, Flynn didn’t like it that she knew about his former stepdaughter.
“Flynn,” Lindsay played with her nails as she spoke, not meeting his eyes. “I’m sure there are things Dev’s left out of his biography, but I pretty much know everything. I’m sorry. I know Kenny would be livid and you can’t be happy about it considering the way Dev views you.” Lindsay looked up and he nodded for her to continue.
“You need to understand a few things: Dev trusts me. He doesn’t feel like Bryan is as accessible as he was. Bryan’s not there all the time anymore, he’s with Brenda. Dev doesn’t want to interrupt their time together just to talk like they used to. He’ll only go to Bryan now if he actually has a specific problem and needs help. But he has to recognize he has a problem first, that’s where talking things through used to help him. Since he can’t do that with Bryan, he does it with me.
“The other thing you need to know is that Dev may hate you, but I don’t. I understand.”
Flynn sat back and sized her up.
Lindsay looked over his shoulder for her mom before returning her attention to Flynn. “Okay, back up, I’m adopted. Until I was five, I was sexually abused. It made an impact and I became a nymphomaniac. As a child, that caused a lot of problems for everyone around me. As a teenager, it’s just causing a hell of a lot of stress for me. When I –”
“Lindsay? What on earth –?”
Lindsay froze. Neither of them noticed her mother return.
“Mom. Oh, I was starting to . . . can we have some privacy?” Lindsay asked, twisting her fingers in a worried motion she fell into when she was nervous. Flynn reached out a hand and stopped her busy fingers.
“No, I think I want to know what you’re talking about in here. This doesn’t sound –”
“I know what it sounds like and don’t jump to conclusions,” Lindsay interrupted.
Her mother sat down in a chair opposite them and Lindsay swore quietly in German.
Beside her, Flynn laughed. “Dev taught you that?”
Lindsay nodded. “Anyway, Dev knows all of this,” Lindsay continued.
“Lindsay!”
“Mom, trust my judgment and respect my decisions,” Lindsay snapped.
Sabrina looked shocked, but settled back in her seat.
“Anyway, Dev knows all of this.”
“How’d that go over?” Flynn asked.
“Badly. I’ve been able to contain myself while we’ve been dating because he wasn’t ready. He still isn’t, but I have to start somewhere and making him see me as an actual girl is the first step.”
“What’s the second?” Flynn asked.
“I kissed him last night.”
Flynn stared at her. “How’d that go? If you don’t mind my asking.”
Lindsay shook her head. “It shocked him, but not unpleasantly. It was when he brought me home. A typical goodnight kiss. Then I went inside and waited for him to think it through. That boy analyzes everything, you know.”
Flynn nodded.
“He knocked on the door a couple minutes later and I went back outside. He kissed me back. He’s a quick learner, I’ll give him that.”
“So he initiated it the second time?”
“Yes. You can relax, there’s hope for him after all.” Lindsay smiled.
Flynn closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath before opening them again. He smiled at Lindsay.
“Yeah,” Lindsay said.
“All right, so my son, who’s determined not to have an intimate relationship, is dating a reformed nymphomaniac. And you’re slowly leading him along to what?”
Lindsay glanced at her mother and sighed. “I’m not reformed. I can’t really even say I’m recovering. It’s there, Flynn, the need is still there. Right now I’m stronger than it is because Dev needs me to be and he’s being as supportive as he can.”
“Is it enough?” Flynn asked.
Lindsay hesitated, and she saw Flynn’s expression soften in understanding.
“But Lindsay, you’ve been –” Sabrina started.
“Mom, I haven’t,” Lindsay snapped again. “I just changed my focus. Until I met Dev on that plane, and Becky convinced him to take me out, I was just picking up guys at school. I was discreet so I could stay off the official radar, and if they wanted a freebee, so were they. Sorry, Mom.”
Sabrina stood. “We’ll talk about this later,” she said and left.
Lindsay sighed.
“I’m sorry. I suspect I blew your cover,” Flynn said.
“Mom’s in the study doubting her abilities as a child psychologist right now when she didn’t see this one coming in her own daughter. I’ll go in and tell her she knew I had the ability to play psychologists. That’s how I ended up with her in the first place. She saw through my lies as an eight-year-old. But I’ve known her for eight years now, and because I know her so well, I can hide easier. No shrink stood a chance. And not a lot of kids would be able to pull this off, only the really smart and motivated ones. She’ll start really looking at the poor disturbed suckers who meet that description. Meanwhile, she’ll toss my butt back in
group therapy and find me a new psychologist to torment. I’ll live. I suppose it’ll keep me busy while Dev’s on tour.”
“You said Dev knows all of this?”
Lindsay paused. “He knows we survived his first semester at college, he doesn’t know that I’m slipping. Having him close helped. I could keep the urge at bay by being near him. Barely. Mostly I just kept waiting, watching, and planning how to gently lead him along. I kept the goals small, baby steps. It took months to just invade his personal space. A year to kiss.
“The thing is, I’m not like Jess, which all that Dev really understands. The closest thing he understands anyway. Everyone says you’re Jess plus twenty years, but you’re not like Jess either. Jess gets it where he can and that’s all he lives for. He’s driven by hormones but there’s nothing actually wrong with him. Except maybe his judgment. He probably even has an average IQ if he turned on his brain.
“You . . . you can’t help yourself sometimes, right? You fight it, don’t you? But sometimes, when everything is just right, fighting it isn’t enough.” Lindsay watched Flynn as she presented her case.
Flynn shook his head. “I’m not a, whatever the male version of nymphomaniac is, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Sex Addiction. Nympho is technically an outdated term. And no, you’re not, not completely; but there’s something going on with you. Maybe it’s a learned behavior that you can’t shake, maybe it’s something physiological, but it’s there. You don’t cheat when you could and wouldn’t get caught. You cheat when you don’t want to and have no motivation to. It’s a pattern throughout your life that’s consistently caused you problems. I suspect the price has been high enough that if you could have just stopped, you would have.”
Flynn stared at her, shocked.
Lindsay shrugged apologetically. “I listened to Dev and asked a few questions, which I probably shouldn’t have, then did some research on my own. Dev’s not ready to hear this yet. I’m not allowed to sympathize with you. I have to officially take his side.”
“A given. I’m not sure what to say about your theory. I’ll have to think about that,” Flynn said and fell silent. Lindsay let him think for a moment while she twisted her fingers against each other nervously.
