by Honest Lee
People had five days off, but nothing to do. The nation started to crumble. And everyone blamed Mark. They decided to revoke his law and take away his crown.
“No, not my crown! It looks so perfect and beautiful on my head!” he cried. He had to think of a new law, and fast. King Mark declared, “Monday is the worst. It’s the day after a weekend, and the first day of the rest of the week. But no more! I am declaring every Monday a national holiday! They can be called Mark Mondays!”
But it was too late. They’d taken his crown, and he had no power to make laws anymore.
It’s too bad. I think Mark had a really great idea. A four-day week and a three-day weekend sounds pretty nice to me. What do you think?
CHAPTER 18
Mason
One thing about Mason is that he loves tacos. As soon as he heard former king Mark declare Mark Mondays, it gave him an idea. “I declare that our school cafeteria serve tacos on Tuesdays. We’ll call it Taco Tuesdays!”
“But, Mason,” Ms. Linda said, “they already do that.”
“Perfect!” Mason said. “My job as king is done.”
CHAPTER 19
Mya & Madison
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Mya asked her twin sister, Madison.
“Yes! I always am, silly. Because we’re twins!” Madison replied.
“On the count of three, say it… ONE…”
“…TWO…”
“THREE—”
Both girls at the exact same time, “CASTLE MAKEOVER!!!”
After giggling about that for almost an hour, the twin queens ordered the staff to repaint the castle from ceiling to floor. And what color do you think the twins chose for that? You guessed it. Princess Pink.
Using ten tons of glitter and twenty tons of shiny plastic rhinestones, the twins bedazzled the entire castle. This meant using leaf blowers to blow glitter and rhinestones everywhere and on everything. The castle now looked like a giant hot-pink disco ball.
“What about making a new law?” Ms. Linda asked.
Madison & Mya shrugged. “What’s the point? All people care about is what’s pretty.”
CHAPTER 20
Olivia
Olivia loved school more than any other kid on the planet. If she could go to school seven days a week, she would.
So it should come as no surprise that she made this a reality when she became queen. “I’m changing the school laws. We don’t need school five days a week—”
“Yay!” Teo cheered.
“Best queen ever!” Isabella squealed.
“Less school, more fun!” Fatima added.
“Preach, sister!” Mason shouted with glee.
Olivia continued: “—we need school seven days a week! My new law: School will now be every single day,” she announced to her classmates with a big smile.
They were NOT smiling back.
“But when will we have time to go shopping?” Preeya asked.
“Or make number two?” Liam said, followed by a fart.
“Or hang with our friends?!” Ava added.
“Ou regarder des films français?” Hugo asked.
Queen Olivia was getting the sense that her classmates (and the country) were unhappy about her new law. “Look, from seven in the morning until midnight, we’ll have class. That gives you seven whole hours to do homework and eat, sleep, shower, floss, see your friends and family, and organize your homework for the next day. Best news ever, right?!”
Everyone protested. Every kid in the country voted to try Olivia for treason. The result was unanimous: Olivia was no longer queen.
She may have been a genius, but she had a lot to learn about being a kid.
CHAPTER 21
Preeya
Preeya was used to getting what she wanted—which is why she said her recent birthday party was “awful and stuuuuuupid.” Her words, not mine.
(Oh, you didn’t know about Preeya’s party? Neither did I. I guess our invitations were “lost” in the mail.)
At this party that you and I missed weren’t invited to, Preeya got lots of gifts: concert tickets, new outfits, jewelry, some books about Classroom 13, a karaoke machine, money, and a brand-new bike. Still, she told her friends that her party was “awful and stuuuuuupid.” Why? Apparently, her parents didn’t get her the gift she really wanted.
“My birthday is like, so… totally… ruined!!!” Preeya cried.
“But you had a wonderful party and so many people came, and everyone brought gifts,” her dad countered.
“But I didn’t get what I really wanted.…” Preeya whined. “I wanted a car!”
“You’re too young to drive!” her mom said.
“It’d be illegal!” her dad said.
Preeya shouted, “I hate the law. I want to drive!”
I bet you can guess what she did when she became queen. (What? No, she did not demand pancakes! I think you are the one demanding pancakes. Now, where was I? Oh, yes…)
Preeya announced: “As your new queen, I am changing the legal driving age from sixteen years old to eight years old.”
Within twenty-four hours, half the nation’s cars were filled with drivers who couldn’t see over the steering wheel. And Preeya was one of them. As she hopped into her car and drove away, her parents shouted, “Come back! You don’t know how to drive!”
How hard can it be? Preeya thought. I bet it’s just like riding a bike.
First, she plowed through a neighbor’s yard and killed a bunch of garden gnomes. (Technically, they weren’t really alive because they were made of plastic, but still.)
Then Preeya stopped paying attention to the road when she got a text message. She crashed into a tree. (Don’t worry—she could barely reach the gas pedal, so she wasn’t going very fast.)
Next, Preeya decided to visit her friend Olivia. She drove the car straight through the side of Olivia’s house. She crashed right into Olivia’s bedroom. (Luckily, Olivia had been in the kitchen.)
“Olivia, are you home?” Preeya asked.
“You destroyed my room!” Olivia shouted.
Preeya said, “It’s just a little scratch!”
(It wasn’t.)
“Maybe I should go.”
(She did.)
Finally, Preeya decided to drive to the mall. But her phone rang. She took the call from her friend Ava. While she was on the phone, she noticed in the rearview mirror that her hair was a mess. She let go of the steering wheel to fix it.
(Dear reader, when you’re old enough to drive, make sure you never let go of the steering wheel.)
Preeya crashed right into a delivery truck. Don’t worry. Everyone was okay. The delivery truck driver hopped out and asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but my car is wrecked!”
“Hey, you’re Queen Preeya, ain’t ya?” the deliveryman asked.
Preeya nodded. He handed her a slip of paper. It was an official-looking document from the castle.
“Is this an award for beautiful driving?” Preeya asked.
“No,” the truck driver said. “It’s a notice of termination. Your new driving law is a disaster. The country fired you.”
“But I don’t want to be fired,” Preeya whined.
The truck driver laughed. “Welcome to life. You can’t always get what you want.”
CHAPTER 22
Santiago
While they would never say this to his face, some people thought Santiago wasn’t fit to be king. He was often sick, and currently he was still inside a big plastic bubble.
“My doctors tell me it’s only temporary!” Santiago said. “Don’t you worry about me, I’ll—cough—be the—achooooooooo!!—healthiest king you’ve—sniffle—ever seen.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call the school nurse?” Ms. Linda asked.
“Why not call the best doctors in the land and tell them to report to the palace at once?” Santiago said. “Because as king, I am making a new law—sniffle—I’m giving everyone,
everywhere—cough—FREE HEALTH CARE—achooo!!”
The whole country agreed: Seeing a doctor should be free. Being healthy shouldn’t be a luxury—it should be a right. Expensive medical bills would become a thing of the past. Per Santiago’s new law, doctors had to treat any sick person free of charge. And medicine was free, too.
Santiago was still inside his plastic bubble, but he refused to miss a press conference. He told the crowd of reporters: “No one should have to pay for being sick. Just ask my mom—she could fill the Atlantic Ocean with my doctor bills. Even with insurance, it’s still pricey. It shouldn’t be.”
While Santiago felt down about still being sick, his popularity kept going straight up. People loved him as their king. He was praised in the media for his free-health-care law and viewed as a hero by those who normally couldn’t afford to see a doctor when they needed one most.
People who were sick? Cured. Broken bones? In casts. Need a doctor’s visit? Don’t worry about the bill. The sick were now healthy and could afford to enjoy life like everyone else. And it was all thanks to the King Inside the Bubble.
Everyone wanted to honor King Santiago and personally thank him for helping those in need. Offers poured in from famous talk show hosts. World leaders wanted to host him in their home countries. Rock stars wanted to put on a concert for him. Even his fellow classmates staged a play to celebrate his reign. It was based on his life story, titled: Saint-iago: The Story of the Generous Bubble King.
The Classroom 13 students reserved Santiago a front-row seat for their first performance—but he couldn’t make it. In fact, he wasn’t able to go to any of those fancy-sounding fun events mentioned above.
Why?
Because even with free doctor visits and free medicine, there was just no cure for being Santiago, who seemed to catch everything.
He was still had the nasty stomach-throat-skin-virus thing, and he wasn’t allowed to leave the castle to do anything fun. It was strict bed rest for the next month. Doctor’s orders.
CHAPTER 23
Sophia
Did you know that seven billion trees get cut down each year? It’s true. Look it up. (And don’t feel bad. I didn’t know, either.)
Well, Sophia knew that, along with about a zillion other trivia tree-via facts about the rain forest. If you met her, she’d tell you herself—even if you didn’t ask her. She loved to talk about the environment, especially about saving it from humanity. (Who do you think cuts down the trees?)
Now that Sophia was queen, she had a plan.
“I am your queen, and by royal decree, I demand that every person on this planet plant one tree today, and one tree each year thereafter. If every human on the planet plants just one tree a year, we might actually start saving the planet rather than destroying it. There are over seven billion people on this planet. If we work together, we can make the world a better place.”
“That’s actually… a really good law,” Ms. Linda said. She was impressed.
Sophia rounded up all her fellow students and handed each one a small tree sapling. “Are you ready to work?” she asked.
“I don’t like working,” said Preeya.
“I don’t want to get dirt under my nails,” said Mark.
“What if we’d rather spend our afternoon juggling harmonicas while riding a unicycle?” Mason asked.
“Anyone who doesn’t want to plant trees can stay here and listen to me recite every piece of conservation tree-via I know,” Queen Sophia said. “Like, did you know there are over two hundred and fifty thousand known plant species that—”
Whoosh!
The entire class ran outside and started working before Sophia could go on and on about the environment again. (Sophia knew people hated hearing all the factoids—so much, in fact, it proved quite motivational.)
So the students of Classroom 13 spent the day planting young trees. At the end of the day, everyone was pretty proud of their work.
Have you planted a tree this year? You should. And get your friends and family to do one, too. Heck, maybe ask your teacher to plant a tree. (I’m totally serious. You can even show her this book and tell her Honest Lee said it was a good idea.)
Saving the planet starts with you. Yes, YOU, the kid holding this book. You better be-leaf it.
CHAPTER 24
Teo
Teo was not allowed to watch R-rated movies. He wasn’t even allowed to watch PG-13 ones. His parents had very strict rules about what he could and couldn’t watch on TV and at the movies.
“I don’t see what the big deal is!” he argued with his mom and dad. “So there’s a little bit of violence. Or maybe a few bad words. Or maybe some naked people. Who cares?! Eventually, I’ll see and hear all that stuff anyway, right?”
His mom and dad shook their heads. “The answer is NO!”
So when Teo became king, he knew exactly what law to make. He walked to the royal podium and tapped on the microphone. “Is this thing on?”
All the reporters nodded. “I am changing the law. No more age restrictions on movies! Kids can see whatever movie they want—and parents can’t stop them!”
“King Teo, sir,” said one of the reporters, “I don’t think that’s an actual law.”
“Try to tell my parents that,” Teo said.
“No, really, it’s not a law,” said another reporter.
“Exactly,” Teo noted. “Not anymore.”
When Teo got home, his parents both said, “You’re still not allowed to watch R-rated movies.”
“I’m the king!” he shouted. Then he rode his bike to the movie theater with all his allowance money. He watched every single R-rated movie they had showing.
He saw an adult spy movie with lots of blood and guts. (It made Teo barf in his popcorn.) He saw an adult romantic comedy. (He didn’t get any of the jokes.) And he saw a foreign film. (He didn’t understand a single word.)
Then he watched all the horror movies. One was about an alien that ate people. The next was about a monster that ate people. And then he watched one about a crazy clown… who ate people.
As Teo left the theater, he realized he had to ride his bike home alone. Everything seemed darker than usual, and all the shadows looked like aliens and monsters and crazy clowns. So he called his parents and asked if they would come pick him up.
“Are you okay?” his mom asked.
Teo wasn’t sure. That night, he couldn’t sleep. His head was filled with too many scary thoughts. Every time he heard the wind blow, or the house creak, or a mouse walk across the floorboards, he sat up and tried not to scream.
The next morning at breakfast, his sister asked, “How’d you sleep?”
“Sleep?!” Teo asked, shaking and looking around the room for aliens or monsters or crazy clowns. “After what I saw, I’ll never sleep again.”
CHAPTER 25
Touchdown The Teacher’s Assistant
“Hello,” 13 said to Touchdown Mandy, the new teacher’s assistant. “I know you’re not technically a student, but would you like a turn at being queen?”
Touchdown Mandy said, “Moo.”
“How rude!” 13 said, deeply offended.
Then Touchdown Mandy ate some grass.
No new laws were made that day. The nation was thankful.
CHAPTER 26
William
William didn’t trust people. Or the government. Or anybody. He had conspiracy theories about pretty much everything. And any little thing could set him off: sunscreen, stray dogs, helicopters, even dust. Today, the thing that bothered him most? Washing his hands.
“I read online that too much hand washing can make you sick,” William explained to 13. “Something about soap killing all the good germs that help the body fight off all the bad germs.”
“I’ve only been a sorta-human for a very little while,” 13 said, “but I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Internet.”
“What do you know?!” William shouted.
So
me would say William was paranoid suspicious, but I believe some healthy distrust is good. The key word being “some.” After all, the Internet is filled with “fake news.” So make sure to consider where you get your information from. Definitely don’t get your facts from the same website William did:
“The Best Fake News on the Internet!”
But William will be William. Which is why he stopped washing his hands entirely. When he became king, he declared: “I ban all mandatory hand washing.”
People weren’t sure how to feel about that.
The next day, William’s grandparents took him to their favorite Mexican restaurant. “I’m going to the bathroom,” William said.
“Don’t forget to wash your hands,” his grandmother said.
“Never!” he shouted.
I wish I could tell you William washed his hands after touching the icky, stinky toilet handle. But he did not.
William went back to the table and started eating salty chips and salsa. He licked his fingers a lot. Then he ate enchiladas—made by restaurant cooks who didn’t wash their hands at all that day.
That night, it wasn’t William’s paranoia distrust that kept him up through the night—it was his stomach. He was up and out of bed every five minutes to use the bathroom. (Stuff was coming out both ends, if you know what I mean.) Poor William thought he was dying. He certainly felt like it. It was the worst case of parasites and food poisoning the royal doctors had ever seen.
The doctors shook their heads and said, “You gonna undo that law now?”
