Scattered Ashes

by Megg Jensen

  Even the dragzhi complained, whispering constantly about how her body was failing. Wondering whether it should take on a new host. Wishing it had someone to choose from other than Tatsuru, who sat quietly next to Rell's bedside the whole night, keeping vigil.

  Tatsuru lifted a wet cloth to Rell's forehead. He ran it gently over her forehead. "How are you this morning?" he asked, a kind smile on his face.

  "Okay," she croaked, wincing. Speaking hurt more than breathing.

  "You aren't okay. I know that. There is no reason for you to lie to me, Rell. The gods will help you if you are patient." Tatsuru turned away, but Rell couldn't see what he was doing. Moving hurt, too, so she lay still.

  She wouldn't be okay. She knew that now. The dragzhi would leave her body for another's, and she would die. It was only a matter of time. Torsten was off trying to do something that would heal her. He was so brave, so kind. He had been since the moment she met him, and she'd done nothing but give him grief.

  If he came back before she died, “sorry” would be her first word to him. It was small, but he would know she meant it, and it would mean something to him. All would be healed before she died.

  A smile crept onto Rell's face. Perhaps this was the peace one felt as death approached. She'd seen it on her mother before she passed. Religion had taught Rell that cleansing of sin was paramount to salvation. Even if her gods were false, the lessons were true. There was healing in confession.

  "I'll be back soon." Tatsuru stood next to her, patting her arm. "I need to draw more water from the river. Don't move. Rest yourself. You'll need your strength later."

  Rell waited until the door closed and his footsteps got farther away.

  With an arm around her chest, she pushed up to sitting, ignoring the woozy feeling in her head from all the pain. Taking small, sharp breaths, Rell stood, swaying slightly.

  "You want to live?" she asked the dragzhi. "Then give me the strength to move. If not, we'll both die in this room. You know it as well as I do."

  With a shaking hand, Rell opened the door. She peeked into the hall. There was no sign of Tatsuru, and just as luckily, no sign of the buried.

  One excruciating step at a time, Rell made her way through the tunnels to the volcano where her dragzhi father dwelled in the volcano with his brethren.

  A figure rose to the surface. "My daughter." A fingerlike tendril of flame reached out, beckoning her closer.

  Rell stumbled, collapsing in a heap before the edge of the volcano. "Father."

  "You are dying." He said it so matter-of-factly.

  "Can you heal me? If I fall into the volcano, will I be healed?" The words hurt with every syllable. Each one a self-inflicted stab.

  "Your human body is not strong enough to withstand it this time. If you come to me, you will become one with me. A being of flame. Your dragzhi side will take over."

  And I will die. Don't think for one second I will let you throw yourself into that volcano, the dragzhi snarled inside her head.

  "Can I be saved?" she asked her father, attempting to ignore the alien inside.

  "There is only one way the two of you can be saved." His voice crackled and popped.

  No! I won't allow it.

  "You will live," her father said. "The dragzhi inside will live."

  But I will be in custody. I would rather die than be taken hostage by the dissidents. I could kill her now.

  Rell gasped, struggling for air. Her hands scratched at her throat, as if she could open a hole to let oxygen in.

  "Stop your tantrum. If she dies now, you die, too." Her father didn't sound panicked.

  A moment later, Rell was able to breathe again. Well, as best as she could with broken ribs.

  "We are at an impasse," her father said, his fiery form curling like a snake. "She must live until you find another host. Yet, there is no one here capable of fulfilling that role. You must choose, dragzhi. Live within her, or die on your own."

  I will let her live. For now.

  "Father." Rell reached out, touching the fire with her fingertips. Warmth spread through her body. She recalled what it was like to be one with the fire dragzhi. To feel their collective thoughts. To know their secrets.

  "Go now, Rell. Go before it finds another human body to take over." Her father's fiery body slithered back into the pit until he was no longer distinguishable from the molten lava churning below.

  Rell struggled to stand. "You could help me, you know," she said to the dragzhi. It couldn't heal her, but it could aid her movements.

  "I'd be happy to."

  Rell whipped her head around. The acolyte who'd faced her down in the church stood in the doorway to the volcano cavern.

  "Why am I not surprised to find you down here? I heard the story. The others told me how you brought them to the tower but were turned away. They left in peace. What did you do? Fight until you were injured?" He clicked his tongue as he walked closer.

  Her breaths came quicker, shallower. The pain was overwhelming. He swam in her vision, like a mirage in the desert.

  "You really are injured, aren't you?" He swept Rell into his arms. "I'll take you to the healer’s ward. I'll find something to heal you there."

  "No." It was more like an exhale than a fully formed word.

  "I may have stood against you, but it doesn't mean I want to see you die. Don't be stubborn. Let me help you." He left the cavern, taking the familiar tunnels to the healer’s ward.

  Rell cursed the guard who had shot Markel. If he had stayed his trigger finger, she wouldn't be in this position. And what would Tatsuru do when he came back and found her missing? Would he tell Torsten? Would Torsten storm the tunnels with his sword and demand her back?

  She would find her way out of this, even if she were weak and dying.

  Death. Then maybe that was the only way out. If she died, Torsten wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. He could focus on getting his people off Phoenix before the tark returned. She could die in the arms of believers, just as she had always wanted.

  Except she had changed. She refused to die. She wasn’t ready.

  "Cleanse," she muttered.

  "What?" The acolyte tilted his head down, his ear close to her lips.

  "Cleanse." She said it again as clearly as she could.

  He stopped moving. "You would rather be cleansed than be taken to the healer’s ward? Perhaps, despite all of your ridiculous talk, you are still one of us underneath. Very well, I will take you to be cleansed. Your sins will be forgiven. And if you happen to die, you can do so knowing you are meeting the gods with a clear soul."

  Rell nodded, resting in his arms. It was better to be carried than to walk on her own. She would need all of the strength she had left to carry out her plan. This poor man had no idea what was in store for him.

  The acolyte turned to the left, taking her down a dark tunnel. Soon, they stood outside the door to the most sacred room in their underground world.

  "In this room, you will be cleansed of your sins. You will repent for your wrongdoings. You will be forgiven. You will begin anew." He knelt on the floor, Rell still in his strong arms.

  Usually an acolyte made their own journey to repentance. In rare cases of illness, another held the body of the sinner, taking them through the motions. Rell saw this man's fervor clearly enough to know he would do this for her.

  But Rell did not want to be cleansed. She wanted to be alone in a quiet place with him. She wanted his arms around her, so that when she enacted her plan, she wouldn't be alone on the other end.

  Rell closed her eyes, digging deep within herself to the place where her dragzhi side lay. She touched the pulsing center, drawing forth the power she needed. The dragzhi inside had blocked her from using it, but being in the place where she’d first inadvertently used her power, she could somehow access it again. A familiar spinning sensation came over her. Rell's eyes snapped open. The acolyte could feel it too. His hands trembled under her body, and his mouth fell open.

 
; "The gods are holding us in their hands. Feel their forgiveness, Rell. You will be washed of your sins." Then his eyes fell shut.

  Rell's body spun so fast she could barely take in a breath. The acolyte struggled to hold onto her as they disappeared.

  With a thump, they landed on a soft surface. A bed. Rell lay on top of the acolyte, his arms still around her.

  "Where are we?" He sat up, staring at the smooth gray walls.

  Had she been able to stand on her own, she would have jumped out of his arms. She still didn't have the energy, and the pain in her chest returned as she took in a deep breath.

  "I told you. There are no gods. I am your god. Do as I say, or I will take you back underground and deposit you in the volcano." It took all of Rell's strength to say it.

  The acolyte set her body down on the soft mattress. He stood, a hand stretched out toward the window in wonder. "We are in the great tower. The one the defenders live in." He turned back to Rell. "How did we get here?"

  "Told you. I am your god. Listen to me." Rell pointed a shaky hand toward the closet in the corner. "Clothes."

  The acolyte looked at her, fear in his eyes. He stumbled toward the closet, pulling out a set of clothes. Torsten's clothes. Hurriedly he dropped his acolyte's robe and donned one of Torsten's old uniforms. The acolyte was slightly smaller than Torsten, and the clothes fit perfectly.

  “Cut your braid off.” She nodded to Torsten’s sword, sheathed in the corner of the room. The acolyte sawed off his hair, strands littering the floor.

  Rell smiled and pointed toward the door. "Ask for and find Torsten. Bring him here. Tell no one about me."

  He nodded, making his way for the door. It opened in front of him with a whoosh. The acolyte jumped backward, shooting Rell a frightened look. He walked through the doorway, and the door closed behind him.

  It was a few moments before she heard his feet move away. Rell relaxed back onto Torsten's bed. She closed her eyes, hoping she was still alive when they returned.

  26

  Torsten ran a hand over the cool metal hull of the shuttle. "How is it possible no one knows these are down here? They crashed only two hundred years ago. I don't know how everyone could forget."

  "They didn't forget," Archer said. "The survivors knew the shuttles were intact. They built this hangar first, then erected the rest of the tower around it. Eventually, the shuttles were ignored as they built new ships with the xorium they had mined in space before crashing. There was plenty to start anew. Besides, shuttles aren't capable of interplanetary travel. It's not like they had anywhere nearby to go. They should be in a museum."

  "Our parents used one to fly into space," Torsten said with awe.

  "Just to the dragzhi," Archer said. "To negotiate a peace treaty."

  "Except they were taken captive. The dragzhi used their bodies and discarded them when they were finished." Torsten tried to tamp down the anger bubbling in his chest. His parents had left on a mission of peace, and the dragzhi treated them like meat hosts. They were a disgusting species.

  "I'm still not sure what you plan to do with a shuttle, though." Archer put a hand on Torsten's arm. "We don't even know what's out there. More dragzhi? Another alien species? Maybe it's better if we just stay here. We can rebuild."

  "That's exactly what the first people who crashed on Phoenix tried to do,” Torsten said. “They built a new society. And here we are again. Deciding whether to stay or try to escape. I don't know if there are enough of us left to create a sustainable population. We would have to enact strict control over mating to be sure we weren't inbreeding."

  "It would be hard," Archer said. "I know this. But, I also think we have a better chance down here than with whatever's waiting for us up there. The devil you know…"

  "Up there we could find other humans. Even return to Earth." Torsten felt guilty trying to talk Archer into it, especially since he was lying. Of course he cared about those things in the long term. But right now his only goal was to deliver Rell to the dissident dragzhi so they could separate her from the dragzhi inside her. A life without Rell in it was too hard to contemplate, even if she never loved him the way he loved her.

  "Or, we could stay here. Start a new life."

  Before Torsten could respond, Archer stood on her tiptoes and planted her lips on his. Her hands snaked around his neck, pulling him closer. Her soft lips moved against his, her tongue flicking, urging him to part his lips.

  Torsten broke away, stumbling backward.

  "She's gone, and I'm not convinced she ever liked you as much as you liked her. Move on, Torsten." Archer swayed closer to him, not at all concerned by his reaction. She ran her fingers up his arm, sending shivers down his spine.

  This girl was really turning him on.

  "Archer—”

  "Shhh." She reached up, combing her fingers through his hair. "We could stay here together, Torsten. You and I. A modern Adam and Eve. Just imagine it."

  Archer's lips landed on his again, this time more insistent.

  Torsten felt his resolve slipping as her hands maneuvered under his shirt and roamed his chest. He gave in, kissing her. His hands fumbled onto her back. Although he'd kissed Rell, it had never been like this.

  Archer pressed herself up against him, moaning. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons on his pants.

  Torsten regained his mind, taking her wrists in his hands. "No."

  "No?" she asked with a smile on her face. "Are you sure?"

  He wasn't sure at all. He realized how easy it would be to say yes. To just give in. She was beautiful, with her swollen lips and the blush in her cheeks. Knowing it was all for him gave Torsten a strange rush.

  But she wasn't the right woman. She wasn't Rell.

  Torsten let go of Archer's wrists. "I have to focus."

  "You can take a break. Focus later." Archer ran her fingers through her hair. It fell in waves on her shoulders.

  Torsten turned his back on Archer. He had to stay on course. Retrofit the shuttle with dragzhi tech. Get into space. Heal Rell.

  Once that was done, he could find out if Rell wanted a future with him. If not, then maybe he would consider giving Archer what she wanted.

  He stepped into the nearest shuttle, running his hands over the controls. It was old-school human tech. They'd made advances on Phoenix using scavenged dragzhi tech, but Torsten had studied the old ships, too.

  Torsten waved Archer over to the shuttle, hoping she'd keep her hands to herself. "I wonder if it's as simple to fly as the teachers made it seem."

  Archer sat in the co-pilot's seat. "If our parents were able to make it out of here in one, it must."

  "How did they leave the hangar without anyone noticing?" Torsten asked. The only entrance he'd seen was the lift.

  "There's a door in the back. It leads to a tunnel that travels under the jungle and emerges somewhere out amongst the trees. Their plan was to fly with the lights out until they hit space."

  "It must have worked," Torsten said, thinking of the bones he'd found in the river and the woman he'd met in space. His parents had tried, and failed, to secure peace with the dragzhi. Their failure wouldn't stop him. His dragzhi promised him a group of dissidents who would help him. He had to try. He couldn't let Rell die when there was a chance to save her.

  "How soon can we have it up and running?" Torsten asked Archer.

  She sat across from him, obviously disappointed but still willing to help. "We need fuel. They used to have stores down here, but they're mostly empty now."

  Torsten thought of Tatsuru. "I know where to find an additive that should work with the fuel that's left down here. I want to leave tonight."

  "I want to come with you," Archer said. "Don't leave me here with the others. You're the only person who's spoken to me like I'm an actual human instead of an information robot. I want to have an adventure. I want to do something outside the library for once."

  Torsten thought of all the secrets he was protecting, Rell's life being the biggest
. He had trusted Archer to bring him to the shuttle, but he wasn't sure he could trust her with everything.

  "I'm not sure that's the best idea," Torsten said it carefully, letting Archer know he was weighing her request. "Rutger and Malia are coming. There won’t be enough room..."

  "There's four seats." Archer turned, counting the two seats in back.

  Torsten hesitated. "We'll have weapons and equipment with us."

  Archer cocked her head to the side. "You're bringing someone else you don't want me to know about, aren't you?"

  Torsten swallowed, nodding.

  "Fine. I won't insist anymore since it's obvious you don't want me to know." Archer smiled. "I like you, Torsten. Don't do anything stupid. I'm not helping you achieve greatness only for you to end up on your deathbed."

  Archer climbed out of the shuttle, beckoning Torsten to follow her. He jumped out, nearly conking his head on the sill, and stepped around the shuttle. Archer pointed to the far end of the shuttle bay.

  "See that?" she asked.

  Torsten nodded.

  "That's where the tunnel begins. Just beyond that hatch. There's a button in the shuttle that activates the doors. Fly through, and you'll come out in the jungle. I would suggest doing as our parents did and flying with the lights out until you reach space. If anyone from the tower sees you, they're going to start asking questions." Archer patted Torsten's shoulder. "You'll do great."

  Torsten tightened his hands into fists at his sides. "I hope. So much rides on our success."

  "When you return, I'll be here waiting for you. If you reconsider my offer." Archer winked, then pushed her glasses up with a finger.

  Before tonight, Torsten hadn't ever thought of her that way, but now he couldn't stop. And he needed to. Rell was his first concern. He had to remove that damn dragzhi. They could figure out the rest later. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on Archer's cheek. "Don't wait for me. Just in case."

  "You'll make it back, Torsten. I know you will." Archer grinned. "Now, let's go back upstairs before anyone notices we're missing. When you're ready to leave, just call me on a private comm. I'll let you in through the library."