Illusive

by Nina Levine

  His lips pressed into a thin line and he tapped the table with his finger. Leaning forward, he said, “You must get a lot of fuckin’ sex, man. We hardly ever see you at club get-togethers.” Leaning back in his chair, he smirked. “Can’t say I blame you, though. A man’s gotta take pussy when it’s offered.”

  I hadn’t been sure where he was going with that at first, and my gut had tightened, but I relaxed when I realised he thought it was all about sex. I played along. “First rule in a man’s life is to never knock back pussy, Nash.”

  He chuckled. “Brother, it’s the only rule in a man’s life. That is, until he finds a woman to settle down with, and then there are two rules in life - never knock back pussy, and keep your woman happy so she never stops offering that pussy.”

  Memories appeared out of nowhere and sliced through my heart with their clarity. Legs wrapped around me while I took care of her pussy, her smile when she came, her laughter when I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to our bed.

  Fuck.

  Four years and I still couldn’t get what she’d done to me out of my mind.

  I cut to the chase with Nash, more to change the subject than anything. “Scott and I are meeting with Ricky this morning. Not sure what his agenda is, but we figure we’ll need to regroup after the meet so keep yourself free after two this afternoon. If it’s more urgent, and we need to go over it sooner, I’ll let you know.” Without waiting for him to reply, I pushed my chair back and stood. “Can you line J up for this, too?” I added, and at his agreement, I left him and headed back into the kitchen.

  After rinsing out my mug, I rested against the kitchen counter and dropped my face into my hands, and attempted to catch my breath.

  This didn’t get easier each year; if anything, it was getting harder.

  * * *

  Ricky had organised to meet us at an old abandoned house in West End. Scott had been in contact with Blade who’d insisted on sending some of his guys along, too. They waited down the end of the street, only to be called upon if shit went down with Ricky.

  We found Ricky out in the back. He’d brought his second-in-charge with him, and they faced us, their faces expressionless. “Boys,” Ricky said with a jerk of his chin.

  “Ricky,” Scott replied.

  He took a step in our direction and came closer. My fingers twitched, wanting to pull out my gun. I trusted this motherfucker less than I trusted my ex-girlfriend, and I didn’t trust her at all.

  Ricky’s eyes dropped to my hands and he smirked as he looked back up at me. “Easy, Griff, no need to get excited. I just want to talk.”

  I scowled and demanded, “Well, spit it out so we can all get on with our day.”

  Ricky raised his brows and looked at Scott. “Your boy here is an impatient asshole.”

  “So am I, Ricky. We’ve got shit to do today so let’s not draw this out. What are you after?” Scott said, his eyes flashing his annoyance.

  “I heard a rumour you boys would be receiving a shipment of coke this week, and that concerned me. I mean, we do have that agreement in place so I’m left wondering why you’d go back on our deal? Unless of course - ”

  Scott cut him off, his nostrils flaring, and the vein in his neck pulsing. “I don’t know who your source is for this, but you need to get yourself a new one. Storm is out of drugs; I don’t know how I can tell you that in another way that you will understand. There will be no shipment this week or any other week.”

  Ricky’s lips curled in a sneer, and his shoulders tensed as if he were getting ready for battle. My hand moved closer to my gun. “My source is fucking reliable, Scott, which means I’m now in a quandary.”

  “I tell you what, get more information from your source – time and place, for instance – and you be there and intercept the delivery. It won’t be us there. And another thing, I’ve been nothing but honest with you in all our dealings, and I want the peace we have to continue; I’m hardly going to do something reckless to fuck that up. Think about that.”

  The two of them continued their face-off in silence for a few more moments until Ricky took a step away from Scott. “I’ll go back to my source, and if necessary, I’ll be at that drop-off. And I’ll tell you what – whoever is at that delivery won’t be as lucky as you two today; they won’t walk away breathing.”

  Scott glared at him. “We done?”

  Ricky nodded his head once, and Scott turned and indicated for me to leave with him. I gave Ricky one last scowl before following Scott out.

  When we were back at our bikes, he said, “I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but I have a bad fucking feeling there’s something to it. What do you think?”

  My gut roared its agreement. “I think this is something we need to look into. Now.”

  He reached for his helmet. “You start digging. I’m gonna grab Wilder and make some house calls and see if anyone knows anything.”

  “I’ve sent him out to make sure Indigo and all the restaurants are secure.”

  “Is J free?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, I’ll take him while you do your thing. Call me if you find out anything, and I’ll do the same,” he said before taking off.

  Jesus. This was a bad way to start the week.

  * * *

  Scott’s and my efforts were futile. We discovered nothing, and after making a plan for tomorrow with J and Nash, I had to leave them and head out to take care of something.

  A little over half an hour later, just after five-thirty, I pulled up outside a house I’d been visiting for every one of my thirty-six years; a house I’d continue to visit until I was no longer needed.

  “Michael,” my aunt called from the front verandah, “did you remember the milk?”

  I jogged the short distance to the verandah and took the stairs a few at a time. Bending, I placed a kiss on her cheek, and smiled. “Yeah, I got it. I’m gonna put it in the fridge and then I’ll be back.”

  The lines on her face crinkled into a smile and she nodded as she motioned with her hand for me to move along.

  A couple of minutes later, I returned and surveyed the front yard. “I’m gonna mow today; get you ready for Christmas,” I said. I mightn’t celebrate this holiday, but Aunt Josie did. She’d always been better at finding ways to move past her sister’s murder than I’d been.

  Her hand found mine as I stood next to her, and she squeezed it. “You’re a good man, Michael, thank you.”

  I squeezed her hand back and let it go. “Don’t tell anyone, Josie, they wouldn’t believe you,” I said. This was our standard conversation each week.

  As I started taking the steps down, she asked, “When are you going to find yourself a girl?”

  Her question caused my steps to falter; this was not our standard conversation.

  When I didn’t reply, she said, “I want to see you happy before I die, young man, and I’m not getting any younger.”

  I spun around to face her. Frowning, I asked, “Are you trying to tell me something?” My heart began beating a little faster in my chest. Josie was the only blood family I had left. Well, the only one I cared about. I wasn’t ready to lose her.

  She nodded. “Yes, I’m trying to tell you to get your head out of your ass and start looking for a woman.” Relief sparked through me that she hadn’t been trying to tell me anything else.

  The way she spoke so seriously and the way her mouth wrapped itself around language she never used, made me throw my head back and laugh. Aunt Josie had been raised a lady and I’d never seen her be anything but that, so she’d caught me off guard - enough to loosen my lips. “I found one once, Josie. It didn’t work out and I’m in no hurry to do it again.”

  Her lips pursed and she shook her head. “So whenever things don’t go your way in life, you just pack it in and give up? That’s not the McAllister way.”

  Jesus, she was being feisty today. “No, but when I’m screwed over like I was, I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure
that doesn’t happen again. That’s the McAllister way.”

  She tsked. “I think you need to revisit that and find a new way. The old way clearly isn’t working for you.”

  If it had been anyone else telling me how to live my life, I would have told them where to go, but Aunt Josie held a piece of my heart so I always listened to what she had to say. I couldn’t figure out what had gotten into her today, though, because this was not typical Josie talk.

  “I’ll take that under advisement,” I finally agreed, and the smile she gave me, and the nod of her head told me I’d given her the words she wanted. “And now I’m gonna go mow. Is that okay with you?”

  “No need to get smart,” she murmured, and I fought the grin forming on my lips. She waved me away. “Go. I’ll have a cold drink ready for when you’re finished.”

  I left her and found the mower in her back shed. Five minutes later, I started on her back yard, and disappeared into my thoughts, trying to figure out the riddle of the cocaine Ricky had mentioned. We’d contacted our suppliers and reached out to other contacts, but none of them confirmed anything for us. Either Ricky’s source was wrong or we were being lied to. My gut feeling was the latter, and Scott had the same instinct. Tomorrow, we’d work more on getting to the bottom of it.

  When I finished the back yard, I took a five-minute break before heading out to the front. The humidity was cruel today and my shirt clung to me, so I ripped it off and dumped it at the bottom of the front stairs. I kicked myself for not changing into shorts, but the front yard was a lot smaller and I’d be done soon, so I persevered.

  Ricky invaded my thoughts again, but at least that was a good distraction from thoughts of my family.

  Anything was better than that.

  3

  Sophia

  I spotted him the minute I turned my car onto my street.

  The guy from last night.

  And I realised why I’d recognised him – he visited Josie across the street at least weekly, if not more often. I’d been living here for nearly two months now and I’d seen him working on her roof, her stairs and her yard. If she hadn’t told me she had no children, I would have assumed he was her son.

  I’d never paid too much attention to him except to note he was tall, built and dangerous. The only reason I’d picked up on the dangerous part was due to the time I’d come home late one night and found him threatening a lowlife for attempting to steal my neighbour’s car. Threatening wasn’t perhaps the right word; more like, he was beating the guy up. I took no issue with his actions – if a person was willing to commit a crime, he should also be willing to suffer the consequences.

  Today he had the mower out and I had to concentrate hard to keep my eyes on the road. This man and that body could singlehandedly cause traffic to halt. I did sneak a look before I pulled into my driveway, and caught an eyeful of his arms flexing as he pushed the mower.

  What a way to start my night, especially after the craptastic day I’d had. Hot arm visions would help get me through the night.

  I parked my car in the garage and then walked the short distance to the mailbox. My eyes were still glued to him. He, on the other hand, hadn’t noticed me. I considered crossing the street to introduce myself, but my sister, Magan, called so I grabbed my mail and headed inside while talking to her.

  “How was your day?” Magan asked as I juggled my bag, the mail and unlocking the front door.

  “Let’s just say, some days I hate graphic design. And some days, I hate my clients. I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine and sit in the bath for hours tonight.”

  She groaned. “I swear you seem more like thirty-nine than twenty-nine, Sophia. Why don’t you go out with your friends and get smashed or something?”

  “You’re only saying that because you’re seventeen. When you’re my age, I bet you grow tired of going out drinking every night.” I dumped everything in my arms on my kitchen counter and headed straight for the fridge. The wine called me.

  “You’re telling me that when you were younger you used to go out every night?” she said, her voice full of disbelief.

  Laughing, I said, “Some weeks, yes. And contrary to what you may think, I do go out with my friends a lot. But I need a night to myself tonight. I had too many conversations today and just need some silence.”

  Silence filled our conversation for a moment before she said softly, “I wish I’d known you back then. I can imagine that you would have been really cool to hang out with.”

  Sadness washed over me at her words. Magan and I had only discovered each other existed six months ago; we’d missed out on so much together. “I wish we’d known each other, too. But we’ve got the rest of our lives and we’re going to spend so much time together that you’ll get sick of me soon enough.”

  “I don’t think I could ever get sick of you.” The jagged tone of her voice made my heart break for her because I knew the same heartache and disappointment she did. Our mother had a lot to answer for.

  Trying to change the spirit of the conversation, I asked, “So, how’s your job hunting going?” She’d been struggling with writing her resume and I’d tried to help her with it because God knew, her foster mum didn’t care enough to help.

  “Ugh.”

  I frowned as I took a sip of the wine I’d just poured. “Magan, you are doing that resume, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, but my sister always failed when she lied, and I heard the hesitation in her voice.

  “Magan?” My voice was firm; she needed someone in her corner, pushing her, and I’d been more than happy to assume that role over the last couple of months. Surprisingly, she’d allowed me to take it on. I figured that had to do with her need to feel someone in her life cared enough to be thinking of her.

  “Sophia,” she answered me in the way she often did when I quizzed her like this. And then, when I didn’t speak again, she sighed, and said, “Fine, I’m doing the damn resume. Are you happy now?”

  I smiled to myself. “Yes.”

  She made a noise as if she was pushing herself up off her bed. “I’m going now… to work on my resume. I’ll catch you later.”

  “Okay, babe. Make sure you call me if you get stuck. I’ve written some good resumes in my lifetime.” I took my glass of wine and padded into my bedroom.

  “I bet. You know, I looked at your school reports; you did well in everything. You’re like the older sister no one could ever compete with.”

  “Well, the one thing I can tell you is that it doesn’t always matter how well you do in school. Life happens and plans go out the window, so just do your best and don’t stress too much, okay?”

  “You’re going to make an amazing mother one day,” she said. And then – “I’m really going now. Bye.”

  I dropped my phone on my bed and smiled to myself again. Having Magan in my life made my days better, and I loved talking to her. The day she’d shown up outside my office and told me I had a sister would always be etched in my memory.

  One of the best days in my life.

  Taking a sip of wine, I searched through my wardrobe for something to change into while I cooked dinner. Settling on a pair of denim shorts and a red tank top I loved, I quickly changed and headed back into the kitchen. As I opened the freezer to grab the steak, a knock on my front door pulled me away.

  Less than a minute later, I stood in my doorway, looking at the man from across the road. Unfortunately, he’d thrown a t-shirt on, but it did little to hide the muscles underneath. Upon closer inspection, I realised he’d had a shower. His towel-dried hair caused visions of him in the shower to flash through my mind.

  Damn, it had obviously been too long between men for me. I was drooling over this guy like I was a teenager.

  “Shit,” he said when I opened the door, recognition dawning on his face. Those beautiful green eyes of his failed to hide his surprise at seeing me.

  “Not the usual way someone greets me when I answer my door to them,” I said with a smile. Go
ddamn, he was even more gorgeous in the daylight and up close.

  His brows pulled together. “How long have you lived here?”

  “About six weeks,” I replied, wondering where this conversation was leading, but enjoying the sound of his voice and more than happy to continue listening to it. He had one of those deep voices I loved, the kind of voice I imagined would sound commanding and hot as hell when he was bossing his woman around during sex.

  Jesus.

  Get a grip, woman.

  “Figures,” he muttered. It looked like he was connecting dots in his mind.

  “What figures?”

  “I hadn’t realised Bev had moved out but I’ve been distracted with work for the last two months, so that’d be why,” he answered, and he seemed distracted while he put all that together.

  “So, handsome, what can I do for you?” Not that I wanted to hurry this along or anything.

  He stared at me for a beat, seemingly surprised at something I’d said, but quickly recovered, and said, “Have you met Josie from across the road, yet?”

  I nodded. “Sure have. She’s a gorgeous lady and has been really welcoming to me.”

  He took a moment before explaining further, his voice holding hesitation. “She asked me to come across and see if you have any gravy powder. She’s out.”

  I fought the grin trying to force itself across my face. He seemed as if he was uncomfortable to be asking me for gravy. “Sure, I’ll check if I’ve got some.” I turned around and called over my shoulder, “Come in.”

  The sound of my front door clicking shut and then his boots on my tiles told me he’d followed me in. A shiver ran through me at the thought that this gorgeous man was in my house.

  I searched through my pantry for the gravy but came up empty-handed. Turning to face him, I frowned. “Sorry, I’m out.”

  He stood leaning against the counter, one foot crossed in front of the other, and I took a moment to study him while I had him up close. His tanned skin made me think he spent a lot of time out in the sun, and I figured he spent a lot of time working out if his muscles were anything to go by. The way his hair hung a little long and the lack of a wedding band led me to think he wasn’t married and perhaps single. Men with partners tended to – in my experience – have haircuts more often. Personally, I loved his hair. I also loved the masculinity he exuded. He was the kind of man who only had to be in your presence to make himself known – he didn’t need to say anything, you just knew he was in charge. This man owned his maleness, and yet, I sensed a vulnerability to him as well.