A Meeting of Wizards

by John Hosh

  Jono’s right hand reached for the amulet but did not touch it. “Let me wash my hands first,” Jono said. He took a step back.

  “Wait. This is another toilet-room,” Euphonius said. He nodded to his right. “Use it.” Euphonius stepped out of Jono’s way. Jono pushed the door out of his way.

  Sycophant soared in and out of the corridor. He prattled, “You’re in for it now. Oh, yes, you are. You’re going to get yours. Just see if you don’t. Oh what Magus is going to do to you! You are in for it now. Your comeuppance is as sure as sure can be. No ands or ifs or buts about it — oh my yes, you are doomed. You can take my word on it — doomed. You are due for a taste of your own medicine, my brash friend. There’s no escape for you. Your just deserts are on their way. Retribution is coming. Nemesis will hunt you down. You are doomed, doomed, doomed, I say. Do you hear me? DOOMED!”

  Euphonius snapped at Sycophant, “Shut up! Go away, or I’ll turn you into a turnip.”

  Sycophant glared at Euphonius. Sycophant snorted. He flitted through the corridor’s north wall. Jono stepped from the toilet-room into the corridor.

  “Put the amulet on,” said Euphonius.

  Jono took the amulet. He hung the chain round his neck. He let the medallion hang outside his shirt. He said, “Thanks. What are you going to do with him?”

  “I’ll put him in one of the cages back there.” Euphonius jerked his head toward the east. “How are you feeling?”

  “My stomach aches but I’m fine . . . a little tired.”

  “You may as well go back to bed. I could use some more sleep too. We’ll find Aegis tomorrow.”

  Chapter 33 : Troll Hill

  In the darkness, a cloaked Euphonius stepped into Jono’s room. Euphonius commanded, “Illumine.” The light-wands glowed. They revealed that Jono’s black cloak was on the clothes tree over the outfit that Nox had given him, namely, a yellow shirt, a black skirt and a cloak that was dark green on its outside and light green on its inside. On the floor beside bright orange boots was a pair of black boots.

  Euphonius called, “Awake, Jono. It’s time you were up.” Euphonius gently poked Jono’s left leg. Euphonius urged, “Come on, Jono. The day flies before us.”

  Underneath his sheepskin-cover, Jono whined, “I want to sleep.”

  “Wash. Then come to the dining-room. You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten. Put on your boots and your cloak.”

  ****

  A little while later, wearing a green cloak, a white shirt, a black skirt and orange boots, Jono walked into the dining-room through the doorway from the corridor. The dining-room had light from thick candles that were alight on the dining-table. In her black cloak, Chloë was where Jono had been sitting on the previous night. Jono climbed into the chair that Chloë had used on the previous night.

  Jono asked, “How are you, Chloë?”

  “Fine.”

  “Where’s Euphonius?”

  “He went to talk to Adonidas.”

  Between Chloë and Jono were three clay plates. One plate had cubes of cheese. One plate had a mix of prunes, strawberries and raspberries. One plate had a palm-high stack of flat round cakes. Chloë was nibbling on a strawberry.

  When Jono was sinking his teeth into a prune, Chloë stated, “Euphonius said you had a busy night. He says you got sick and you sprayed Magus with vomit. Euphonius calls him Nox. Euphonius says you’re really brave.”

  “I guess.” Jono bowed his head.

  Euphonius walked into the room through its west doorway. He moved Nox’s chair closer to the table. While sitting in Nox’s chair, he reported, “I talked with Adonidas. He says Nox turned Aegis into a troll.” Euphonius helped himself to a cube of cheese.

  Jono asked, “What’s a troll?”

  Chloë was eating a raspberry. She kept her head down.

  “A troll,” Euphonius replied, “looks like a big, fat, very hairy person. It has a big nose. It has brown moles on its face and on its hands. It likes to eat cabbage — any kind of cabbage. It can become really mean when it is hungry. It will grab a person and give him a good beating if it does not find any cabbage. And it isn’t smart. And, most important, it smells. Dogs stay away from trolls.”

  Jono stated, “Nox said he had trolls to guard the island.”

  “We have to find out if the trolls are really trolls or if they are enchanted beings.”

  “How do we do that?”

  “The easiest way to know if a troll is really a troll is to kiss it. A boy has to kiss a troll to find out if it is a girl. A girl has to kiss a troll to find out if it is a boy.” Euphonius fixed his eyes on Chloë. Jono looked at Chloë.

  Chloë looked up. She looked from Euphonius to Jono. She stopped eating. She wiped her mouth with the back of her right hand. “I’m not kissing any troll,” Chloë said.

  “Please, Chloë,” Euphonius begged. “All you have to do is pinch your nose and you won’t smell a thing. You have to give the troll only a quick peck. If the troll is a boy, it will transform. There’s nothing to it.”

  “I’m not going anywhere near any stinky old troll. I’m not. I’m not.”

  Euphonius pleaded, “Come on, Chloë. Be reasonable.”

  “I’m not kissing a troll. Use your magic or something. I’m a princess. A princess does not go about kissing trolls.”

  Euphonius persisted, “You want to help Aegis; don’t you?”

  “What if a troll comes after me — a real troll? Then what do you expect me to do?”

  “I will protect you.”

  “So you say. No, I’m not going to kiss a troll. I’m sorry about Aegis. There has to be another way.”

  Euphonius sighed. He looked at Jono. Euphonius pursed his lips. He looked up.

  Jono asked Euphonius, “Can’t you use your wand to help Aegis?”

  “No, the wand will not undo another wizard’s wandwork. A potion would work. I know how to make a potion that will undo a transformation. I don’t know what would happen, though, if a real troll took the potion. The first rule of potions is: Do no harm. I don’t want to hurt a troll if I don’t have to. Maybe Nox has something about trolls and potions in his library. I’ll have a look.”

  Chloë asked, “What’s a ly-berry?”

  “It’s not ly-berry. It’s library. It’s a place where people keep writings.”

  Jono asked, “What are writings?”

  “Writings are little drawings or pictures — symbols. You will learn all about writing at school. You will learn writing, reading and counting.”

  Chloë whined, “Do we have to? What if we don’t want to?”

  Euphonius wondered aloud, “Why would you not want to?”

  “Just because. I might not like those things. Sometimes some people like to do some things and other people don’t. Not everybody likes the same thing.”

  Euphonius presumed, “I’m sure you will want to learn to read, to write and to count.”

  “I do,” Jono chirped. “I want to learn everything.”

  Euphonius advised, “Mentor says reading, writing and counting are the next best thing to magic.”

  ****

  Not long after the morning meal Euphonius stepped out of the doorway at the north end of the hallway. The doorway’s leather door was tied to the doorway’s west side. The doorway opened onto a plaza of flat rocks.

  The plaza was a rectangle that had its long sides pointing east and west. The plaza’s west end was several paces west of the doorway where Euphonius was. The plaza’s east end was several strides short of the house’s east end.

  The house’s north side had three doorways. The first doorway was where Euphonius was. The second doorway was an entrance to the laboratory. The third doorway was near the house’s east end. The third doorway did not open onto the plaza. The third doorway opened onto a path of flat stones. The path went straight north between rows of wood pens. The pens ended where the plaza ended, which was one really good spit from the house. From the pens, now and then, cam
e bleats, quacks and honks.

  On the plaza, north of where Euphonius was, was a stone oven. The oven was nearer to the plaza’s northern edge than to the house. A rough wood table was four steps east of the oven. The table had a plank-on-logs bench on its north side and a plank-on-logs bench on its south side.

  North of the plaza the ground had a gentle upward slope. The grassy slope ascended for two score of spear-throws. Where the slope ended, high hills began. Between the end of the slope and the beginning of the high hills was a mud-and-stone wall. The wall was thrice as high as Jono was tall. The wall came out of woods in the northwest and went into woods in the northeast.

  In the northeast and in the northwest the woods had both fruit trees and nut trees. West of the plaza the land sloped gently downward to the southwest. Fruit trees and nut trees dotted the descending slope. In their autumn colors the trees were glistening under a bright sky.

  “Follow me,” Euphonius said. He walked northward. Jono and Chloë were sitting across from each other at the west end of the plaza’s table. They scrambled after Euphonius.

  When Euphonius, Jono and Chloë were several strides north of the plaza, Euphonius pointed to the northwest. He advised, “That path into the grove goes to the house of Adonidas and Miranda. Down the slope left of the grove, we have gardens and a vineyard.” Euphonius turned his head to his right. He said, “On the other side of the pens, a path goes down to the village.” Looking east, Euphonius reported, “On the east side of this hill is a brook. The brook supplies water to the house.”

  Chloë asked, “Where are the trolls?” She brushed some dust off her cloak.

  “Behind the wall,” Euphonius replied. “The wall cuts the north part of the island off from the south part. The trolls run free on the north part. You can see a few dark patches up there. Some of those patches are caves. The trolls live there.”

  Chapter 34 : Chloë and the trolls

  In the early forenoon the wizards were on the north side of the mud-and-stone wall that divided Nox’s island. Chloë whined, “I’m tired.” She sat in the shade of the wall.

  Jono inquired, “What do we do now?”

  Euphonius removed the gold plate from his cloak. He looked at the plate while he held it in both hands. A ripe cabbage materialized on the plate. Euphonius’s left hand grabbed the cabbage. His right hand put the plate into his cloak.

  Euphonius’s right hand pulled his wand from his cloak. He pointed the wand at Chloë. He commanded, “Metamorphose into a troll.”

  A thin, straight, silvery-blue line reached quickly from the wand. The line touched Chloë. She glowed blue. The wand chirped. The line and Chloë’s glow disappeared. Chloë was a troll.

  A little taller than Euphonius, Chloë the troll was much fatter than he was. She had a troll’s big nose and a brown mole on her chin. Her wizard’s garments had expanded, but her garments did not hide all the black hair that was now growing beneath them.

  Burying his nose in the elbow of his right arm, Euphonius waved the cabbage in front of Chloë’s eyes. He walked backwards — northwards — while he called, “Come troll! Here troll! I have a nice ripe cabbage for you.”

  Chloë picked herself up. She lumbered toward Euphonius. Euphonius backed up the hill and away from Chloë. Chloë waddled after him. Euphonius turned and flung the cabbage up the hill. While Chloë chased the cabbage, Euphonius ran to Jono, who had remained close to the wall. Euphonius stowed the wand in his cloak. He looked up the hill.

  Jono asked, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to use cabbage to bring all the trolls to us. Then I will separate the enchanted trolls from the real trolls by having Chloë kiss them.”

  “But she doesn’t want to.” Jono twirled his hair. He kicked at the ground with the toe of his right foot.

  “I couldn’t think of any other way. She must kiss Aegis.”

  “She’s going to be really angry.”

  “There is no help for that. Sometimes people have to do things they don’t want to do. For Chloë this is one of those times. She must help us. She won’t be harmed.” Euphonius took the gold plate out of his cloak, held the plate with both hands and stared at it. In an instant the plate held a cabbage. Handing the cabbage to Jono, Euphonius said, “Here.” He stared again at the plate. Another cabbage appeared. “Here,” Euphonius said to Jono. Jono accepted the second cabbage.

  “What should I do with these?”

  “I want all the trolls to be here at the same moment. I need a way to bring them together peacefully. I think cabbage will do the trick.” Euphonius pointed north. “Go out there and make a strip of cabbage pieces east and west. The strip should be eight strides from east to west, and four strides from north to south. Keep the pieces well-spaced — perhaps two strides apart. We don’t want any fighting. Go ahead. I’ll conjure another cabbage and put it here for you.”

  Jono walked north for ten steps. He asked, “Is this far enough?”

  “A little farther,” Euphonius replied. He conjured a cabbage and put it on the ground beside him. He set the plate beside the cabbage.

  Jono set one cabbage on the ground. He tore pieces from the other cabbage. He spread the pieces as Euphonius had instructed.

  Euphonius removed his wand from his cloak. He put the wand into his right boot. He removed his cloak. He spread it on the ground not far from the wall. He grabbed his wand. He stepped two paces back from the cloak and pointed the wand at it.

  “Cyclogenize cloak,” commanded Euphonius. The blue hand and its blue arm flowed out of the wand onto the ground. The hand and the arm slithered along the ground up to the cloak. There the blue hand dragged the blue arm to the left. Patting the cloak’s edges, the hand went swiftly round the cloak until it was circular. The blue arm and the blue hand flowed back into the wand.

  “Macrosize cloak,” commanded Euphonius. The blue hand and its blue arm flowed from the wand onto the ground. The hand and the arm snaked along the ground. The hand crawled over the cloak to the cloak’s center. Holding its fingers tight together, the hand pointed downward. Each blue finger elongated and pushed its way toward the cloak’s edge. When the fingers’ tips pushed the cloak’s edge, the cloak’s circle expanded. When the cloak’s diameter had grown longer than two trolls laid end to end, the fingers shrank. The wand absorbed the blue arm and the blue hand.

  As soon as the blue hand was inside the wand, Euphonius commanded, “Collagenize cloak!” Three score of blue sparks, as a swarm, arced from the wand onto the cloak’s center. From the center the sparks scurried in several streams toward the cloak’s edges. The sparks created a blue glow round the cloak’s edge. Remaining circular, the cloak made itself as smooth as the ground would allow.

  Jono called, “Is this good?”

  “Wider from east to west,” Euphonius responded. “Put the bits farther apart. Shape the barrier like an amphitheater. Treat my cloak as the orchestra.” Euphonius dropped the wand into his right boot.

  Jono walked toward Euphonius. Jono picked up the cabbage that Euphonius had set aside. Jono carried the cabbage to the north side of Euphonius’s cloak. Jono ripped leaves from the cabbage. He ripped the leaves into pieces. He spread the pieces as Euphonius had instructed both near the cloak and far from it.

  Euphonius picked up the gold plate and conjured a cabbage. He held the cabbage with his left hand while he put the plate flat on the ground. Euphonius tore the cabbage apart leaf by leaf. He dropped the leaves onto the plate. When he had a plateful of cabbage leaves, he picked up the plate. He dumped the pieces of cabbage onto the center of the cloak. He stared into the plate. A golden liquid appeared in the plate. Euphonius poured the liquid onto the cabbage leaves. He repeated the process until he had drenched the leaves with the liquid.

  From north of the cabbage arc, Jono called, “What’s that?”

  “Honey,” Euphonius replied. “Trolls really like honey. Watch out! Chloë is moving up behind you! Throw her some cabbage. I’m ready here.”


  Jono turned toward the north. Half a score of strides from him, Chloë the troll was waddling toward him. Jono tossed some cabbage toward her; then he ran to the wall a few strides east of Euphonius.

  Using his wand, Euphonius banged on the gold plate. He shouted, “Come on, trolls! Here, trolls! Cabbage and honey, they are really yummy!” Euphonius rubbed his abdomen with his wand-hand. He called, “Here, troll, troll, troll. Here, troll.” Euphonius whistled as if he were calling a dog. “Come and get it. First come, first served.”

  Chapter 35 : A kiss for Aegis

  Chloë the troll arrived at the cabbage barrier. Scooping up some cabbage pieces, she devoured them.

  Two trolls waddled out of two caves that were a short way up the high hill. Another troll came out of a gully that was east of the wizards. Those trolls lumbered toward Chloë.

  Pointing toward the troll from the gully, Jono shouted, “Euphonius!”

  Euphonius called, “I see it!”

  Soon four trolls were at the barrier. Three of them were wearing stretched wizards’ garments. Munching, grunting and burping, they grazed toward Euphonius’s cloak.

  Euphonius stuck the wand into his right boot. Holding the gold plate with both hands, he backed away from the trolls and toward Jono.

  When the trolls had eaten Jono’s barrier, they shuffled toward the cloak. They sniffed the honeyed leaves. The trolls picked up some cabbage. On tasting the honey, they grunted and hooted. They threw themselves upon the cloak. Licking and slurping, they jostled toward the cloak’s center. The trolls came head to head.

  At one instant four trolls were wolfing down the honeyed cabbage. The next instant two trolls and Aegis and Chloë, as their usual selves, were licking and jostling their way round the cloak.

  Aegis pushed himself away from the trolls complaining, “Oh, pee-yu!” He pushed himself off the ground. Covering his nose with his hands, he padded toward the wall.

  Grimacing, Chloë complained, “Oh . . . yech!” She rolled away from the trolls. She pulled her hood over her head.

  Euphonius exclaimed, “Here, Jono!” Euphonius tossed the gold plate to Jono, who caught it easily. Euphonius’s right hand pulled the wand from his boot. Stepping westward and northward, Euphonius pointed the wand at Chloë while Aegis ran along the wall to Jono’s side and Jono put the gold plate into his cloak. With his left hand pinching his nose, Euphonius twanged, “Metamorphose into a troll.”