To Tame a Renegade

by Connie Mason

  “I’ll take you out,” Chad offered. He’d walked into the room in time to hear Sarah refuse Abner permission to go outside to play. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep the boy close, but the look of disappointment on Abner’s face had gone straight to his heart. “There’s chores that need doing in the barn, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

  Abner gave a whoop of joy and ran to the kitchen to put on his outdoor gear.

  “You’re still worried, aren’t you?” Chad asked.

  “Can you blame me?”

  “No, that’s why I’m going after Jackson.”

  Sarah stared at him. “You’re what?”

  “I’m going to find Jackson. His capture is long overdue. I don’t want you and Abner to have to worry about him ever again.”

  “You can’t go! The weather isn’t good. It’s snowing.”

  “That’s why I have to go now. He’ll be easier to track in the snow. Ryan will look after you in my absence. There are ten armed men on the ranch.”

  “What’s this about a bank robbery?” Ryan asked as he entered the room. “Cookie told me about it the minute I walked in the back door. He said the vigilantes paid us a visit”

  “We think Freddie Jackson is in the area,” Chad explained. “He’s probably miles away by now, but I’m going after him to make certain he doesn’t bother Sarah again.”

  “That’s a job for the vigilantes,” Ryan said.

  “I’m a bounty hunter, remember? I understand outlaws and how their minds work. I’ve tracked them in all kinds of weather and gotten into some tight places, but I’ve always gotten my man. I’m not going to fail with Jackson. Will you take care of Sarah and Abner in my absence?”

  “You know I will Nothing will happen to them while you’re gone.”

  “You can’t let him go, Ryan!” Sarah exclaimed, alarmed.

  “I can’t stop him, Sarah.”

  Chad regarded Ryan solemnly. “I’m trusting you not to seduce my woman while I’m away.”

  “Your woman!” Ryan repeated. “Did something happen today that I should know about?”

  Chad sent Sarah a tender glance before answering Ryan’s question. “You could say that. We’ll talk about it when I return.” Abner picked that moment to run into the room, bundled to the eyebrows. “I’m ready, Chad. Can we go outside now?”

  “Sure thing, son. Don’t worry about Abner,” he said to Sarah. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

  “I don’t have a good feeling about this,” Sarah said after Chad left with Abner. “I don’t want Chad to leave. Not now. Not when he and I…” She flushed and dropped her gaze.

  “What happened today, Sarah? Did you and my brother come to an understanding?”

  “I followed Chad to the cemetery,” Sarah revealed. “Something happened to Chad out there, something that defies explanation. It was as if a great upheaval was taking place inside him. His anguish was almost palpable. I was shocked when he decided abruptly to go to the Rocking D. I couldn’t let him go alone, so I followed. When we reached the house, we climbed the stairs together and went into Cora Lee’s room. He struggled with his demons a long time before he reached some kind of a decision.”

  Ryan was intrigued. “What happened next?”

  Sarah hesitated, then decided she had nothing to lose by telling Ryan the truth. “We made love on Cora Lee’s bed.”

  Ryan was visibly shaken. “You what?”

  “Chad asked me to make love with him. At first I didn’t think it was a good idea, but the longer I considered it the more reasonable it sounded. He needed new memories to associate with the Doolittle house; I provided them for him.”

  “Alleluia!” Ryan crowed delightedly. “Maybe I’ll get my brother back now. Chad has changed. He isn’t the same man I’d grown up with. He’s lost the joy of living. If not for you, he might never have returned home. Did he ask you to marry him?”

  “I’m not sure Chad wants marriage any more than you do. I’d like to think he’s ready for a commitment, but I’m not going to wish for things that might never be. I do believe, though, that he’s finally defeated his demons, but,” she added sadly, “I’m not sure he wants me and Abner in his life.”

  “He called you his woman,” Ryan reminded her.

  “In some ways, I am, but that’s for Chad to decide,” she said, blushing.

  With nothing more to add to that, Ryan returned to his chores and Sarah went to her room. Today’s events had been both draining and exhilarating, leaving Sarah with much to think over. Unfortunately, she still didn’t know where she stood with Chad.

  Chad planned to leave at first light. He had gathered his gear, packed his saddlebags, and conferred with Cookie about trail food. He figured he’d head south, and if he found nothing to indicate that Jackson was traveling in that direction, he’d head on back to the ranch and search the surrounding area. Common sense told him Jackson was too smart to stick around, but his gut told him Jackson could still be in the immediate vicinity. He decided to follow common sense first and, failing a result that way, he’d go with his gut.

  Even if Jackson was still around, Chad seriously doubted the man would attempt a bold abduction with ten armed men protecting Abner. Jackson would have to be either damn stupid or cocksure of himself.

  Supper was a subdued affair that night. When Chad announced that he intended to leave at dawn, Sarah was visibly shaken. She excused herself a few minutes later and ran from the room, glad that Abner had already been fed and put to bed so he couldn’t see how upset she was.

  She didn’t know Chad had followed her up to her room until she tried to close the door and found it blocked. She was surprised and a bit dismayed when Chad stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

  “What was that all about?” he wanted to know.

  “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

  “You know I have to do this, Sarah. I won’t be satisfied until Jackson is in jail.”

  “What about me? What about us? Is there an us?”

  “I know we haven’t discussed the future, and I intend to remedy that when I return. Until today, sharing my bleak future with a woman was unthinkable. For the first time in two years I’m thinking clearly again. I have you to thank for that.”

  Sarah’s denial was emphatic. “You owe me nothing. Your healing came from within, from your strengths, and from your indomitable character. It was inevitable. I knew that one day you’d return from the hell you dug yourself into.”

  “I want to stay with you tonight, Sarah. I want to awake in the morning with you in my arms. I know you’re tired. We don’t have to make love. Just holding you will be enough for me. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I won’t return until I’ve turned Jackson over to the law. I’ll track him to the ends of the earth, if I have to.”

  Words she’d feared to voice rang within the silence of her mind. Suddenly the burden of with holding them became too great, and she blurted out all those gut-wrenching emotions she’d kept hidden for so long. “I love you, Chad. I can say that now without any reservations. I want your arms around me, forever, if possible.”

  Chad agonized so long over his answer that Sarah knew he wasn’t ready yet to declare himself. Marriage meant he’d have to place his trust in a woman, and accept responsibility as a husband and father.

  “Did you know I fancied myself in love once?” Chad said, dropping his arms away from her. “I was even engaged to be married.”

  Sarah couldn’t imagine such a thing. “No, tell me about it. What happened?”

  “She was considered the town beauty. I felt honored that she chose me to marry. She wanted me to leave the ranch and move to the big city. She hated the thought of living on a ranch and tried to convince me to settle in Denver, or San Francisco. I didn’t take her seriously. Both Pierce and Ryan were more aware of her capricious nature than I, but I refused to heed their warning. Pierce had already been burnt in a bad marriage and was quick to note that she wasn�
�t right for me.”

  “Did you finally see the light and break the engagement?”

  Chad gave a rueful laugh. “I was left standing at the altar, so to speak. The day before the wedding, she ran off with an eastern dandy who was in town visiting relatives. Last I heard, they were living in New York City.”

  “She must have been crazy to leave you for another man,” Sarah said wistfully.

  Chad smiled and brought her back into his arms. “What I’m getting at, love, is that saying the words you want to hear is difficult for me. My own mother deserted me when I was a small lad, and my father instilled in us a fear of marriage. I never thought I’d learn to care for a woman like I do you. And you know I’m crazy about Abner.”

  “Deny it all you want, but I know you love me, Chad. You’ve proven it in so many ways. Sometimes action speaks louder than words. One day you’ll feel comfortable saying what I want to hear. I can wait. But I won’t wait forever,” she warned. “I don’t want a man who can’t love me with his whole heart and soul.”

  “You left out body, Sarah. I can love you with every fiber of my body, if you’ll let me.”

  “And I will love you with every fiber of mine,” Sarah replied, gazing deeply into his eyes.

  God, she loved him. She loved him enough for both of them, enough to last until he found the courage to speak what was in his heart No other woman could love him as much or give him more, she thought fiercely as she lifted her face for his kiss.

  Chad’s mouth seized hers with almost desperate yearning. Surely he must love her, he told himself. Nothing else could be so confusing yet feel so wonderful. With a sigh, he reached for the courage to bare his soul and failed to find it. He had no difficulty finding passion, though. Passion he had in abundance, and all of it for Sarah.

  He carried her to the bed and undressed her, his tongue writing lovenotes on her skin as he bared it to the heat of his mouth. One hand slid down her naked back to her waist, then continued down to trace her spine to the cleft of her bottom. He heard her sigh and murmur with pleasure as he drew a nipple into his mouth.

  “Take off your clothes,” she gasped on a note of raw desire.

  Buttons flew as Chad all but ripped off his clothing. His body was hot, he was swollen and heavy, so hard and full he ached.

  Suddenly the leashed passion in him erupted. With a deft motion he spread her thighs, lifted her bottom, and pushed into her, his hands gripping her hips and thrusting until she felt him touch her womb. He was not gentle; Sarah was surprised he hadn’t hurt her considering the fury of his passion and his powerful entry.

  It didn’t take long; just a few piercing strokes of his sex deep inside her brought her to a shattering climax. He peaked and yelled his own release seconds later.

  His breath was harsh and raw. He felt the drain in his body, the easing of his lust. But the need for Sarah was still vibrant, still a raw ache inside him. If this was love, then he had almost died of it. The emotions roiling inside him were the fiercest he’d ever experienced. His heart pounding, he buried his face in her neck and whispered, “I love you, Sarah.”

  No answer was forthcoming. The even cadence of her breathing told him she had fallen asleep. He kissed her forehead, drew her into the curve of his body, and joined her in slumber. There was plenty of time to bare his heart to her.

  Chad had been gone a week, and Sarah missed him desperately. The weather had turned surprisingly mild for late October, almost like Indian summer. Ryan remained close to the house during Chad’s absence and Sarah felt guilty for keeping him from his work. Abner moped around the house, keenly aware of Chad’s absence and clearly missing him.

  One day, when a cowboy rode in from the south pasture to confer with Ryan, Sarah and Cookie went outside to see what was wrong. Ryan explained the problem to them. Three calves had gotten themselves stuck in mud in a deep gully and the hands were having trouble freeing them. Runoff from the early snowfall had filled streams and gullies with gluey, sucking mud. Sarah could tell that Ryan was torn. He felt the need to give his men a hand to free the calves but was reluctant to leave Sarah and Abner because of his promise to Chad.

  “You needn’t stay because of me,” Sarah told him. “Cookie is here, and I know how to use a gun. Jackson is probably long gone by now. He wouldn’t be dumb enough to stick around and risk capture.”

  “I’m inclined to agree, but I promised Chad I wouldn’t leave for any reason.”

  “I’m right handy with a gun,” Cookie said. “Don’t worry, Ryan, go take care of your cows. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for trouble.”

  Though reluctant to do so, Ryan rode off with his men to help free the stranded cows. Since the day was so fine, Sarah decided to tackle the wash. She had just stripped the bed linen from Chad’s bed when Abner skipped into the room. He was dressed for the outdoors.

  “I’m going to the henhouse with Cookie,” Abner informed his mother. “We’re gonna gather eggs for a cake. Cookie said he’d make a chocolate one for me because that’s my favorite.”

  Sarah gave him an indulgent smile. “Try not to break any eggs, the hens aren’t laying well. And stay close to Cookie,” she warned. “Don’t go running off.”

  “You worry too much,” Abner threw over his shoulder as he danced away.

  Sarah shook her head. Such an active little scamp like Abner couldn’t be kept in the house for long. She suspected Cookie was going to the henhouse simply because Abner was bored with playing inside. She knew Cookie carried a shotgun with him whenever he ventured from the house, so she wasn’t worried about Abner’s safety.

  Humming to herself, she gathered up the sheets and carried them downstairs to the laundry room. Immersed in her task, time ran away with her and she didn’t think about Cookie and Abner again until she wrung out the sheets and carried them outside to hang on the clothesline. She had just hung the last sheet when she became disturbed by the ominous silence. There was no sign of Cookie or Abner, no voices to indicate they were nearby. She thought it highly unlikely that they were still in the henhouse, but she hadn’t seen them leave.

  Fear, stark and vivid, raced through her. She tried to keep her fragile control as she ran to the henhouse. Ducking inside the long, low building, her worst fears were realized when she spied Cookie lying on the ground, his head resting in a congealing pool of blood.

  She rushed to his side and dropped to her knees, praying he wasn’t dead. The shallow rise and fall of his chest sent a shudder of relief coursing through her. Examining him more closely, she discovered a wound on his head. He’d been struck with enough force to break the skin. The bleeding had slowed but the swelling around the wound was impressive. Sarah ripped off the hem of her petticoat and pressed the folded scrap to his head.

  Cookie groaned and his eyes fluttered, as though trying to summon the strength to awaken.

  “Cookie, wake up,” Sarah pleaded, nearly beside herself with worry. “Who did this? Where is Abner?”

  The panic he heard in Sarah’s voice overcame Cookie’s inclination to close his eyes and shut out the pain. With great difficulty, he opened his eyes. “That you, Miz Sarah?” His voice sounded as if it had been scraped over sandpaper. He tried to rise, but Sarah wouldn’t let him.

  “What happened, Cookie? Where is Abner?”

  “They took him, Miz Sarah.”

  “Who took him?”

  “That Jackson fella. Heard his partner call him by name before I passed out. Me and Abner were gathering eggs when they snuck up behind us. Jackson bopped me on the head with the butt of his gun before I could swing my shotgun around. Don’t recall much after that.”

  The thought of Abner with a man like Jackson shattered Sarah. She didn’t believe Jackson would hurt his son, but in all likelihood he’d take Abner away where she would never see him again. The thought of life without Abner nearly tore her apart.

  “I’m going to help you into the house first, then I’m going to find Ryan. Jackson can’t have gotten too far. Did he sa
y where he was taking Abner?”

  Cookie’s leathery brow furrowed as he tried to recall what Jackson had said before blackness closed in on him. His head hurt like the very devil, the thought kept slipping away before it fully formed in his mind.

  “Think, Cookie. What did Jackson say?” Sarah prodded. She hated to keep plaguing the poor man, but she and Ryan had to know in which direction Jackson was headed.

  Cookie concentrated and finally found what had eluded him. “I recollect now, Miz Sarah. I heard Jackson say they were going to Mexico and live like kings.”

  Sarah blanched. Jackson may as well be taking Abner to the ends of the earth. “Let me help you up, Cookie. Can you walk?”

  “I think so. Might need a little steadying, though.”

  Sarah lent him her shoulder and managed to get him upright. Together they made slow progress to the house. Once inside, Sarah wet a cloth and gave it to Cookie to hold to his head.

  “I’ll send someone to town for the doctor as soon as I find Ryan. Will you be all right?”

  “Don’t worry none about me, Miz Sarah. It’s all my fault. I should have been more careful. I want that boy back as much as you do.”

  “It’s not your fault, Cookie. I reckon we all became too complacent We should have been more vigilant, but it seemed ridiculous to assume that Jackson was still in the area. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  Sarah saddled a horse and rode like the wind. About a mile from the house she spied a group of riders and rode out to meet them. She prayed it was Ryan and the hands returning to the house. But as she drew closer, she noted that the horses were moving at a snail’s pace, and that one horse was pulling a travois, consisting of two long poles with a blanket fastened between them. Sarah’s heart sank when she saw a man lying on the makeshift stretcher. Even before she saw his face, she knew it was Ryan.

  The grimace of pain upon Ryan’s face did not bode well for his condition. “What happened?” she asked anxiously.