“Paxie, listen…”
“It’s too late, Thorn. The truth is, I always hoped… I always fantasized you’d someday see me this way, but I always thought it would be impossible. Every time I looked at you, my whole life, I have hoped for this. And from now on, every time I look at you, I’ll remember you said it was possible. It’s too late to go back. I'm already yours."
Thornton stared in amazement for a moment. “Really, Paxie?” When she nodded, he couldn't stop himself from running his fingers over her face, trying to capture how it looked in the starlight for memory. They might never have an excuse to test a spaceship again. He moved his fingers back to stroking her metallic hair, and she closed her eyes at the sensation. He loved the fact that she had accepted his words. The idea had been floating around in his mind for so long. She would be his someday. He wanted nothing more. Someday when it was permissible, when it was acceptable.
"Thorn," she said coyly, opening her eyes. She'd gestured outside the spaceship. "We're not on Earth right now. I'm legal out here."
He laughed, before he saw she was serious. "Pax," he said with a small warning in his voice, but she was already grasping the front of his pajamas and pulling him close. "But you're still a citizen of…"
His meager attempt at protest was hushed by her aggression as her lips smashed against his. Her lips were soft and supple, and they tasted like cherries. He had basically given her permission, given her an idea of his feelings and intentions. How could he expect a take-action girl like Pax to sit still on information like that? The kiss was chaste and tentative, for she was young and inexperienced, but it was also forceful and demanding, for she was a deva. It was wonderfully liminal, just like her. He found himself putting his arms around her small body and deepening the kiss. Underneath her oversized pajamas her waist was incredibly tiny and he loved the feel of her against him.
He couldn't believe he was kissing Pax. Not in five or six years like he'd planned, but now. He was kissing fourteen-year-old Pax. And it felt… completely natural. Okay, and a bit forbidden. But other than the fact that Pax’s father would murder him if he knew, and Asher would probably almost-murder him, it felt like home. The spectacular view of the stars only added to the mood, and to the dangerous thrill.
Thornton let himself become lost in kissing her, and only when she began to moan softly against his mouth did he realize that he had begun to use his tongue to explore her lips and to tangle with her own tongue a bit too passionately. His arms also held her body too tightly against his own and Pax was responding too fiercely, practically climbing on top of him, and making her hammock sway.
He held her away from him then, suddenly feeling his cheeks redden at what they'd done. It was definitely too much, too fast. He calmed his breathing and tried to focus. Even the slightest, most innocent of touches…
He glanced behind him to make sure that Briar hadn’t caught the kiss on camera. Pax noticed his action and giggled softly. He turned back to her, and couldn't resist giving her one more gentle, soft kiss on the lips. She quieted down and just stared at him lovingly. He stared back, feeling his own heart soaring. There were a million reasons why he shouldn't be kissing Pax, but he knew that it was right. Her acceptance of his affections and her enthusiastic response told him that someday they would have something special together.
He couldn't wait until that day. Seriously. A mental clock had established itself in his head, called the "Countdown to Pax Turning 18 Clock." For years to come this clock would jump to the forefront of his mind every time he looked at a calendar. And then soon it would be replaced by the "Countdown to Pax Finishing College Clock," but he didn't anticipate that at this point. Both clocks, and what they represented would be violated many times anyway.
He broke their silent staring by asking her, "Do you think you can get some rest now?"
She nodded. He smiled, lifting himself off the hammock and into the air, but she stopped him from flying away by tugging his pajama sleeve and looking at him with those pleading puppy-dog eyes. She was still young enough for them to have a 100% success rate. He understood what she was requesting, and with another glance at their robotic puppy chaperone, he crawled into the hammock with her and pulled her against him so her head rested on his chest.
"Thorn," she had said softly, glancing back through the window. "I sometimes get a bad feeling. Like people aren’t telling me everything about my mom. You would tell me if the adults were concealing things from my kiddie ears, right?”
“Of course. Consider me an infiltrating ally among the grownups.”
She nodded, unconvinced, but smiled and snuggled closer against him. Within a few minutes she was asleep. Thornton imagined that he should leave and return to his bed, but he couldn't move. It was too comfortable. Besides, he knew she would just wake up and continue to stay up for the rest of the night, and he would stay up watching her. Teenagers had an unlimited supply of energy, but Thornton was 28, and even though he was a deva, he couldn't get by without sleep for days on end like Pax did. He would stay. It was the first time he'd ever held her as she slept, and the first real quality sleep they'd both gotten in days.
Thornton snapped out of the memory suddenly, and was transported back to earth, to a tiny mirrored changing room where a beautiful woman in lingerie had her lips pressed against his and her body wrapped around his in an extremely erotic manner. And all he could think of was Pax. And his first first kiss with her.
What the hell am I doing? Thornton removed his lips from Para’s. I promised Pax I would never let her go. Do I really care what Amelia said? Am I going to let her stop me from trying to win Pax back? This is larger than some stupid mistake. This is my life. Her life, our life.
And I'm in a dressing room with some girl I barely know in lingerie. Thornton pulled away from Para forcefully and moved to sit on the little bench, resting his face in his hands. “God,” he said, the words muffled by his hands. “What am I doing?” But Pax won't let me near her. But Pax still loves me, and if I'm persistent enough she'll crack! She has to…
Meanwhile, Para had stumbled backwards, shaking at what she had experienced from invading his mind. She held onto the screen door for support. Para blinked back tears at the memory she shared with him. Tears partly caused by Pax's own emotions at the memory and Amara's emotions at seeing that moment for the first time. It was the first time tears had become acquainted with Para's eyes, but they did not fall. She willed them away before they could completely be gathered.
She turned to look at Thornton, her eyes clouded with antique emotions. She saw him again through the rose-colored glasses of a fourteen-year-old girl, and he was perfect. He was her answer to everything, the solution to every problem. He was the kind of big brother she could look up to and respect. He was someone who was always there to step in and fight for her when the battle got too rough. He was the kind-hearted and gentle boy she had grown up with.
And he really still loves me. He remembers our first kiss so fondly. I can feel that it still means something to him. Goodness, he's so sad. What did grandma say to him? When did he speak to her? Para moved towards him, feeling the strong urge to either caress him with her fingertips or tackle him with a gigantic hug. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him and tell him the truth. I'll tell him I'm Pax. That I do love him and will listen to him and we'll fix things. She stepped forward.
"Thorn, I'm…" No, Pax. No! He cheated on you. We have no guarantee he won't cheat on you again! Just because it sounds like he misses you and regrets what he did… who can say that once he has you again he won't go back to his old careless ways. We need to teach him a lesson first.
Besides, look. Para turned to face the mirror. Her reflection stunned her—her exotic features and knee-length wavy midnight blue hair. You're not Pax. You're Para. You were born to create the ultimate seduction and test him. Screw with his brain a little. You haven't learned all you need to learn. Don't throw in the towel yet.
"I'm so sorry, Medea," said Thor
nton. He was digging his fingers through his blonde hair as though he had lost something important and it was buried in his scalp. "It's just that… when I kissed you, I remembered something I'd almost forgotten. Something that happened a very long time ago."
Para still gazed into the mirror, but she shifted her eyes to glance at Thornton' reflection. He looked torn.
"I can't do this," he groaned. This is by choice. This is me kissing another woman because I want to, not because circumstances forced me to. Not because I was conned into it by extortion. I can't, because this would actually be cheating on Pax. And Pax is still mine. I don't care if she tells me a thousand times that it's "over." What kind of bullshit is that?
Extortion? she wondered to herself. Is that what he meant to tell me? Was he… blackmailed?
Thornton looked up to see Medea looking at him with a very strange and soft look on her face. She looked hurt. And I don't care what her grandmother and father say, or even what Asher says. Pax belongs to me. I promised her I wouldn't let her go. You don't say things like that to a young girl and suddenly change your mind one day.
He moved towards Para and cupped her face gently in his hands.
"I am unbelievably attracted to you, Medea. But you couldn't understand. No one can." Thornton placed his hands on her shoulders, looking into her sweet face passionately. He let the smallest of smiles overtake his face before speaking.
"When you fall in love with someone in pure starlight… that love lasts forever."
"Thorn," Para whispered. You dork.
He kissed her forehead, a brotherly kiss. "Thank you for reminding me. I've decided to do something stupid, and I'll probably get myself killed. If I survive, I'll call you. I'll probably need medical attention."
Thornton quickly exited the room, and Para stared after him, smiling. My sweet Thorn.
She leaned against the screen door with a dreamy look on her face. She allowed her body to relax completely as a whimsical smile transformed her features, and she imagined that everything might be okay again someday.
He returned after a moment, and removed a credit card from his blazer, placing it in her hands. "I almost forgot I promised you a shopping spree! Go and buy some shoes and jewelry or whatever. There’s 10K on there."
With that he winked and left again.
Love you, brother! thought Para, lifting the plastic American Express triumphantly. Thornton had often given Amara this card to shop with when she was younger. She glanced at her watch and saw that she still had ten minutes remaining of fusion. Just enough time to do some rapid shopping.
Hell no! There's only one kind of shopping we're doing. Para immediately began to undo the clasps of the corset. She looked at herself in the mirror and paused.
If he could choose the distant memory of a fourteen-year-old miserable, boyish girl in oversized pajamas over the gorgeous flesh-and-blood woman in fine lingerie he held in his arms… well if that's not love, I don't know what is! Personally, I'd go with me.
Thanks a lot. Thinking about me like that really helps my self-esteem! I'm in here too, you know.
Sorry, Pax. That was a cute memory. Sorry that I neglected you in high school. Also, I can't believe you tried to rape my brother when you were fourteen.
Hey! It wasn't like that. Much.
And you wished you could be more like me? Aww, Paxie, that's so sweet.
Can you blame me? You're drop dead gorgeous and have always had guys falling at your feet.
Maybe, but I wished I could be more like you.
Really?
Are you kidding? You're bold, you're bad, you're fierce. You traveled into space!
Well, look! thought Para, pointing at the mirror smugly. I guess both of our wishes came true. In a kick-ass and unexpected way! Here we are.
The merged girl laughed lightly, running her hands over her body. That's true. She's the best of us both. The perfect woman.
But I'm glad she has my breasts, Para thought, cupping the lovely mounds of flesh proudly.
Suddenly one of her hands left a breast and smacked herself in the face. Your breasts? These are obviously mine.
Ow! That hurt. That wasn't a very sane thing to do, considering I just smacked myself. Anyway. Now there's something that this perfect (crazy) woman wants… no, needs. And if I don't satisfy this need I'm going to go bananas, throw a tantrum, and blow up this shopping mall.
Para quickly slipped out of the remaining garments and into her own clothing before leaving the dressing room. She handed the corset to Madame Isadora who placed it in a bag and handed it back to her.
"Mr. Kalgren paid for it," she said with a smile.
"How thoughtful of him," said Para.
"He just added it to his sister's bill. You should really be thanking Miss Kalgren."
Para scowled in a rather terrifying manner. “Wonderful! Who needs enemies when you have family.”
She marched out of the store, leaving the shop owner very confused. She walked directly to the ice cream shop and slammed her hands down on the countertop, speaking very slowly to the shopkeeper.
“One. Of. Each. Please.”
Chapter 16: You Omnipotent Folks
In retrospect, ordering that much ice-cream had been greedy and unladylike. As Para shoveled the sugary confection into her mouth, she squinted at her phone which was constantly ringing. Thornton was calling Pax every few seconds. Impressed and slightly upset by his persistence, she considered increasing her consumption to be the best solution to her conflicted feelings. Para didn’t have to wait for the frozen delicacies to melt, for as soon as the scoops neared her tongue they became liquid. At this rate, she was able to guzzle the dairy products down like a creamy milkshake. Kids sitting nearby glanced at her with a combination of suspicion and jealousy. Para smiled at them smugly. When her watch beeped, she licked her sticky-fingers, and decided to finish the rest of her scoops in solitude.
Balancing shopping bags and frozen goodies in one arm, Para strolled away from the food court and headed towards the women’s restroom. She waited by the sink for all the women to leave before locking the door to ensure her privacy. There were only a few minutes remaining in her union, and she climbed onto the counter housing the sinks and leaned her head against the mirror as she nursed her final ice-cream cone. It was mint-chocolate chip, and she had saved the best for last; Pax loved mint while Amara preferred chocolate.
In her other hand, she received a text message: Pax, please pick up. It’s urgent. She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Urgent, my foot.” But part of her really wanted to pick up the phone. After the memory-inducing kiss, everything she had pushed to the back of her mind was rushing to the forefront with full intensity. Para banged the side of her head against the mirror lightly, causing cracks to run through the entire panel. “Whoops,” she whispered to herself, but she didn’t move from the spot where she sat.
Para’s eyes darted to the west. Mara, can you feel him flying around searching for me? He just left your house and now he’s at my condo. I haven’t been to my condo in ages—not since the incident. He paid for half of it, you know. Maybe I should speak to him. Maybe once I separate, I will teleport over to Thorn…
Her mind immediately interrupted itself. Wait a moment, Paxie. Need I remind you why we risked everything to join ourselves as one person? For vengeance. He cheated on you.
But he was thinking something about extortion. What if there were circumstances…
You and I both know that Kalgren Tech spares no expense in hiring the best lawyers. People in positions of power are constantly threatened. Come on! How many times have people tried to kidnap me? If it weren’t for your uncle, I’d be in a body bag at the bottom of some river. Thorn has been running the company for long enough to know how to deal with situations like that.
We don’t even know what the whole situation was! Para straightened her posture abruptly as she tried to consider the possibilities. I was a shitty girlfriend, and I didn’t let him explain it to me. I ju
st flew off the handle and went ballistic. I gave him life-threatening injuries and more problems to deal with when he probably needed me for support.
Don’t you dare think like this, Para chastised herself. She wasn’t quite sure which half was speaking, or whether it was the union of her halves speaking. Her mind was a mess of voices. There is no good reason for someone to cheat. No excusable reason. Thorn is a charmer. He’ll say the right thing and put his hands in the right places, and poof! All is forgiven. Then, one day, another busty redhead walks into his office intending to blackmail him by revealing one of the fifty apocalyptic mistakes he makes in an average day, and instead of calling a lawyer he unzips his pants.
She sighed and let her head drop against the mirror again. The cracks along the glass intensified. “I destroy everything I touch,” Para said as she stared at the splintered glass. Her watch beeped to indicate that there was less than a minute remaining of her union. More than anything, she didn’t want to separate. There was always an awful feeling of withdrawal and loneliness when she was in her original bodies. Para drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them, as though if she tried to hold herself together physically, it would prevent her spirit from ripping in two.
“Please,” she said to no one in particular. She looked up at the fluorescent bathroom ceiling-lights. “Please let me live for longer than thirty minutes. I’m whole this way. I’m still sad and confused, but not to the same degree—I am a single person with clarity, purpose, and strength. Every horrible thing is easier to handle.”
She closed her eyes, dreading the sound of her watch beeping again. When it came, it was accompanied by the vibrating of her cell phone as Thornton called. Her eyelids parted only just enough to read his name on her phone. “Please,” she said again. “Sakra, if you’re listening. You omnipotent folks can do just about anything. So bend the rules of this magick and let me stay Para Kalson. One fully-functioning, fully-together deva woman is better than two broken-hearted, useless, mostly-human girls. Right?”
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