Bittersweet Fate

by S. J. Dalton

  This is the start of something new I can almost taste it. I wake up to the smell of pancakes and coffee I inhale and smile he walks in holding a tray with freshly made pancakes and coffee there’s even a Lily sitting on the tray can he be any sweeter I think to myself. ‘’good morning lil’’ he says as he puts the tray down next to me and he kisses me on the cheek ‘’what is all this ‘’ I ask ‘’noting, I was up early and I thought I’d make breakfast’’ ‘’you Cody teller making me breakfast I would have never guessed ‘’ ‘’haha well looks like you don’t know how charming I can be ‘’I laugh ‘’yeah your charming alright I thought I’d be the one making breakfast’’ ‘’ah ha you thought wrong blue’’ ‘’thank you though it looks delicious ‘’ ‘’don’t sit and stare at it just eat it and then get ready I’ve something special planned for today ‘’ I pick up a pancake and start eating thinking about what he just said ‘’hmm and what would that be ?’’ I say with my mouth full ‘’are you really talking to me with your mouth full?’’ he looks to be in shock I can’t help but laugh he looks so confused to why I’m laughing ..’’ are you laughing at me?’’ he crawls closer to me I take another bite of the pancakes and shake my head trying to hold in the laughter I start moving backwards as he moves forward then he leaps at me and holds me down on the bed and starts tickling me I end up spitting food all over the place I can’t stop laughing now and he’s laughing too , I love it when he’s laughs it’s just so carefree . I stop laughing ‘’ okay lets be serious now’’ he’s looking at me with one eyebrow perked up letting me know he hasn’t a notion what I’m on about ‘’what?’’ ‘’you go get a shower while I finish up my coffee and food so we can go on our first adventure’’ ‘’whatever you say little bird ‘, hey you want to join me? ‘’ he asks with a changeling look in his eyes. ‘’no thanks I’m good I’ll get one after you knew nick name huh?’’ sure thing and yeah I think it fits’ ’ he winks and shuts the door. I sit back and think about how we can’t stop now that it’s already started, maybe it was fate that he ran into me that day just maybe. I here shower stop and I get ready to get in for when he’s done. I walks out with nothing but a cheeky smile and a towel on what an evil thing to do to a girl, two can play that game I get up and walk towards the bathroom I take a quick shower and change into my new underwear red lace my favorite I walk into the room Cody has his back turned to me ‘’I’ll be ready in 10 minuets’’ he turns around and his jaw drops I wish I had a camera to capture the look on his face right now. He examines me from head to toe and licks his lips ‘’damn, your such a tease’’ ‘’ and you’re not?’’ I say as I slip my dress over my head. He laughs as I walk back into the bathroom 10 minutes to be exact we are ready to leave. We head outside and hop into the same lack range rover I first saw him get into. Sometimes I forget that he’s famous because with me he’s just a normal guy. We pull up outside the airport I’m confused to why we are’’ um Cody, why are we at the airport?’’ ‘’I said I’ve a plan witch I do and it happens to include flying’ ’okay, but I haven’t packed anything and I’ve work on Monday’’ I’ve got it covered don’t worry about that, I just want you to enjoy yourself’ ’but...I don’t even know where we are going?’’ ‘’that’s the fun part you will have to wait and see’ ’Three hours later we get off Cody’s jet … I can’t believe what I’m seeing I take in my surroundings slowly inch by inch. I turn to Cody and he’s looking at me with this look I’ve never seen on him before I’ve no idea what kind out look to call it … ‘’new York?’’ ‘’it sure is baby what do you think?’’ ‘’what do I think …I’m thinking how the hell did I end up being here with Cody teller and why he’s with me’’ his body guard tucker walks up and whispers something in his ear ,when me walks away Cody turns to me…’’we are here to be together I thought it would give you some inspiration for your book what better place to come to other than new York ,I’m here with you because I want to be here being with you makes me feel wanted?’’ wanted I make him feel wanted I can feel tears beginning to rise ’’You remembered...thank you Cody nobody has ever done something so kind for me before.’’ I wipe a tear away than walk over and give him a kiss on the cheek inhaling him while doing so this boy may have captured my heart. He holds me with his face in my hair kissing me ever so softly letting me know that he feels it too.

  13

  Chapter 13 - touch

  Cody

  I’m still holding her in my arms it’s like she was made to fit there. Her hair smells of strawberries so sweet just like her. I brought her here to help her write her book I want her to finish it I don’t care how long it takes but I want to read it. I think being with her makes me feel alive and free she makes me realize it’s the little things in life that means the most just like love. I think I may be in love … what the hell am I saying of course I’m in love how can I not be. When her eyes swelled up with tears and her lips turned upside down she looks so beautiful even while crying but it broke my heart to see her cry because it makes me want to cry too. I want to give this girl everything I have she doesn’t ask for anything therefore she deserves everything. I take a look around to make sure there’s no one with cameras spying on us because ever since I met Lily I’ve wanted to do everything to protect her especially from the paparazzi, she’s a part of my life I want to keep out of the magazines and TV, they would only tear her apart, so for now she’s mine and I don’t share what’s mine. I pull back and grab her hand thank god there is no paparazzi around I think to myself. Her hand feels so soft and delicate in mine as I hold her close. She looks up at me and her I smile for her I love it when she’s happy because it makes me happy. I see my Bugatti parked over in a private spot for me I feel relived I can drive myself without someone following my every move. Lily follows me towards the car after we hop in she says ‘’where are we going to Cody?’’ I smile at her innocence. ‘’ To my favorite place in new York ‘’ I beam. ‘’ oh okay so’’ she says so quietly I barely here her. It’s all about the little things in life the things you will never forget about. We drive for 15 minutes and we pull up to my spot I walk around to Lily’s side to let her out. ‘’do you trust me?’’ ‘’I think I have no choice right now’’ I laugh at her comment ‘’your right you don’t, so just close your eyes until I say to open them’’ ‘’okay okay quick I’m excited ‘’ when we reach the top I stand behind her I wrap my arms around her waist ‘’open’’ I say into the ear. I know she opens them because she doesn’t speak I wait until she’s ready to speak. I feel her begin to shake I feel her tears running down onto my hand ‘’blue?’’ ‘’Cody....I...I it’s beautiful ‘’ I stare at her in awe as she takes in the view of los angles from up here. she turns around and slams her mouth to mine her tongue collides with mine .I feel drops of rain begins to fall she pulls away and looks up into the sky I take her lead and look up too. The rain begins to fall heavy now and there we were, not caring that we were getting soaked in the sudden downpour I look back at Lily and she’s already looking up at me with those big eyes her hair stuck to her face she looks so damn beautiful without even trying .she closes her eyes and breaths I take the chance and lean in again kissing her softly lips touching, body’s pressed against each other, eyes closed, hearts beating like there about to explode. This is love, I love her.

  14

  Chapter 14 - Rain

  Standing here dripping wet, wrapped in Cody’s arms, my heart thumping so loud he can properly hear it. Looking at this view of the whole of New York this moment is one I will remember for the rest of my life. I take in the view looking at the shining lights the clouds coming together getting ready for a storm sky so dark I can’t even see the rain falling . I look into his eyes I see so much emotion there … like he wants to say something but he’s holding back. I move my hand up and touch is jaw his perfect jawline. I rub my thumb over it while looking into his eyes I know what he’s feeling because I feel it too, its love but we don’t say it we just know as something passes be
tween us as we look at each other I smile a sad smile as he does the same. I say the only thing I know other than I love you ‘’Je suis a toi ‘’ I say slowly. I close my eyes as I wait for his reply knowing what it will be but still I wait to hear him say it again

  ‘’ne me quitee pas’’ the way this lips curl on each word makes me weak in fact everything about him makes me weak.I’m falling in love.When we arrive back at the hotel we will be staying at we get escorted in and when we reach the door of our room the body guards disappear. Cody enters the room first and holds the door open for me .The room strikes me as soon as I walk in everything looks and feels expensive from the marble counter tops to the tiles we walk upon, it’s all neutral shades my favorite mocha colored walls white décor gosh this must have cost a bomb I thought to myself ‘’don’t worry I stay in this room when I’m hear its noting much’ ’it’s like he just read my mind ‘’it’s so beautiful’’ I say as I run my hand over the loveseat. He walks over and slides his hands around my waist I love it when he does this ‘’just like you’’ he mumbles as he kisses my neck.’’ You want to take a bath in the hot tub?’’ he asks. I suddenly feel self-conscious what if my body doesn’t meet his expectations. ‘’ Will you be in it too ‘’ ‘’well if you want me too I will, but I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable ‘’ I bite on my bottom lip I usually do this when I’m not sure or nervous. ‘’ um can I go alone if that’s okay?’’ ‘’ Sure I’ve a few calls I have to make anyways, hang on and I go get it ready I’ll leave out a robe for you ‘’ I nod in reply and smile at him as he walks into the bathroom. He comes out 5 minutes later with an amused look on his face’’ tubs ready go ahead and relax’’ ‘’ thank you Cody ‘’ I say as I shut the door when I turn around I don’t expect what I see but the room is lit by candle light there everywhere glowing like little firefly’s I look at the tub in awe as I see the rose petals spread out upon the water, this boy sure knows how to treat a girl. I step out of my cloths and put one foot into the tub to make sure it’s not too hot its perfect I sit down into the water slowly enjoying how good it feels against my skin. At the end of the day you can’t help who you love, you can’t make yourself unlove someone or love someone you just have to follow your heart see where it takes you weather it’s the road not taken or the road.

  ***

  I type down everything from the night before standing with Cody in the rain kissing, touching, and feeling. I write about how I felt in that moment and about the words that were left unsaid. I smile as he walks into the room and takes a seat next to me on the loveseat ‘’whacha doing little lady?’’ I laugh at the way he said that ‘’noting much just writing, I close down my laptop ‘’what are we doing today have we plans?’’ ‘’well…. I thought we could go to the zoo?’’ I jump up and scream ‘’THE ZOO?’’ he’s laughing now. ‘’yes that’s perfect woo I’m so excited I love animals! When do we leave ’’ I say as I grab my coat. ‘’um well by the looks of it I guess now’’ ‘’great! Thank you so much Ahhhhhhhh ‘’ I’m still jumping around like a crazy person.’’ I’ve never seen someone so excited to go to the zoo, I, mean not even a kid you really are a wild card aren’t you’’ ‘’maybe your my wild card ‘’I slur as we walk towards the door.

  THAT WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!! I lean over and kiss Cody on the cheek when we get in the car. ‘’you’re the best, hey did you see the baby monkeys?’’ I ask excited. ‘’yes Lily I sure did I was with you the entire time, and your more than welcome I’m just glad you wanted to go I wasn’t there since I was a kid ‘’ ‘’ me either I’ve always wanted to go ‘’ I cuddle my new stuffed monkey that Cody got me . ‘’ what should I call this guy?’’ he looks at the money carefully ‘’hmm… what about mud?’’ I look at him confused ‘’mud, really?’’ ‘’well yeah… then I’ll have blue and mud because he’s brown what you think?’’ ‘’ mud mud mud ‘’ I say it a few times as I look at him I think I actually like it ‘’hey lil guy ,we are going to call you mud’’ I say in a childish voice. ‘’You’re crazy ‘’ Cody says as he laughs. ‘’ thanks, I say as I kiss my new toy’’. ‘’ have you ever had any animals growing up?’’ ‘’no I haven’t but when I move out of the hotel I’m staying and I rent somewhere I think I’ll buy a puppy I’ve always wanted one ‘’ ‘’a puppy huh I think that would be good’’ ‘’yeah me too ‘’.

  ***

  Its feels so good to be home after been in new York I lay down on my bed and think back to the weekend am I ready to be in love ? I get a weird feeling that something is wrong I flip open my laptop and search forCody teller the first thing that pops up is ‘’who is the mystery girl?’’ under the headline there’s several pictures of me and Cody one was on the beach when we were swimming and the next was in new York I feel sick I didn’t want this to happen I didn’t want the word to know my business my phone starts to ring its Cody I don’t answer it I can’t talk with him I know it’s not his fault because he hates everything that comes with being famous too he hates that he can’t be normal and live his life the way he wants . I shut my laptop down and turn my phone off and I get under my covers a cry why can’t people leave us have privacy why I cry for me and my miserable life everything was going perfect until people had to be nosey and but in . I here knocking on my door ‘’who is it’’ I yell not able to get up and see for myself.’’ It’s me blue let me in ‘’ uh really the last person I want to see me when I’m like this. ‘’ give me a sec’’ I get out of bed not caring if I look like death I open the door Cody walks in and takes a seat on my couch . ‘’I’m sorry lil I only saw the pictures I didn’t even see paparazzi anytime I was with you they can been so sneaky at times I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen ‘’ I think about what he said he doesn’t have to be sorry it’s not his fault I know that ‘’it’s okay … I guess they would have found out sooner or later what we are … wait what are we?’’ he gets up and takes a seat next to me he takes my hand in his I breathe heavy from his touchit’s all about the little things.‘’Us, you and I we are us ‘’ I scrunch up my eyebrows and look at him ‘’ were us?’’ ‘’yeah I guess so I want there to be an us, do you?’’ I look around my room focusing on the window trying to distract myself I need to think this is all going to fast I mean I do want there to be an us but am I ready ? ‘’ Cody... I want there to be an us too but I don’t know if I’m ready can I have today to think about it?’’ he turns his face away from me shit I said the wrong thing didn’t I?‘’ uh but you can stay here for the day while I think we can do something if you want too’’ I say this trying to make us both feel better fuck the paparazzi and their cameras he turns back around to me with hope in his eyes I can see it there sitting right in the center of his perfect eyes.’’ Ya id like that blue you want to stay here or go to mine we can use the home theater?’’ I have to admit I may be in a horrible mood but his plan sounds good ‘’ya I think I’d like that ‘’ great I’ll get my driver to pick us up in say 10 minutes’’ ‘’ yeah sounds good’’

  ***

  We head straight to the home theater to set up when we arrive at Cody’sI takes forever to decide on a movie we decide onTaken. I mean who wouldn’t watcha movie withLiam neeson in it we get some junk food and cuddle up to watch the movie , yep this is it this is just what I needed just us.

  15

  Chapter 15– first day

  The weeks have passed by and it’s finally time to start college to follow my dreams although my dreams seem to be turning into reality. Things with Cody have been fine he’s been traveling a lot and I think it’s finally taking a toll on me… but I feel as if something is missing I’m not sure what it is yet but I will find out. I look at the mess in the corner of my new dorm room I moved onto campus two days ago I had applied for a dorm back in May and finally got a letter 3 weeks ago letting me know that I had got it. It’s great my roommate hasn’t arrived yet which is weird as if on cue someone starts banging at the door. I open it to a box and legs until I see
her pop her head around the box ‘’uh a little help here?’’ talking about de je vu I guess this is my roommate ‘’oh god I’m sorry ‘’ I take the box off her and carry it to the empty bedroom which is now occupied. When I turn around she’s standing there smiling at me .okay this is awkward I put out my hand to shake hers but I’m automatically pulled into a hug ‘’eeeekkkkkk’’ she screams blowing my ear drums as she does so. ’’I guess you must be cammy’’ ‘’yes. , yes I am you must be Lily’’ we both start laughing at our silliness. I already love her she’s so cute with her brown shoulder length hair and green eyes. After we bring up all of cammy’s boxes we sit down ‘’uh that was some effort’’ I say in-between breaths’’ ‘’girl tell me about it but thank god it’s done’’ ‘’so cammy what are you studying here?’’ journalism and you?’’ ‘’Creative writing ‘’ ‘’ah so we are kind of taking the same path in life… what do you want to write about?’’ ‘’ Someday I want to be an author ‘’ ‘’wow that’s cool, I was expecting something for newspapers or something but writing books? I think it’s awesome!’’ she really does put a smile on my face I can live with her. ‘’ haha no not newspapers, you think so? ‘Hell yeah I think so, hey you want to take a look around campus?’’ I think for a moment and since I don’t have any other plans I decide to go ‘’ sounds like a plan, let’s go’’ we walk around campus taking in the different classrooms that we will be attending when we finish we decide on heading to the coffee shop to sit down and get to know each other more . When we arrive at ‘’lava java’’ it’s packed full with college students waiting for their coffee fix. When it’s finally our time to order I decide on my favorite vanilla latte and cammy goes with a white hot chocolate we take a seat at the far end of the shop next to a window that overlooks campus .’’ gosh that was some effort trying to get a coffee ‘’cammy speaks. ‘’I agree, so cammy where are you from?’’ here in California born and raised how about you I know you’re not from here because you sound firkin Irish or something crazy like that’’ I laugh at her comment about being Irish ‘’ I guess your right about that… yes I’m from Ireland ‘’ her face goes in to total shock I laugh harder ‘’oh my god Lily really? I mean …I just…. Shit this really is crazy I never met anyone from Ireland I mean it’s not like there’s many Irish here in California’’ ‘’I know what’s why I choose here, I always wanted to come to America all my life and well I made it ‘’ ‘’shit Lily I still can’t believe you’re so far away from home’’ ‘’me either but all’s good you know my family is only a Skype call away… and if everything didn’t go as planned I could always just go home’’ ‘’you’re so brave …I mean I couldn’t do that I admire you for taking the plunge and following your dreams even if they scare you’’ ‘’ if they scare you then there’s something in them worth chasing for’’ ‘’god girl you will make a hell of a good author with these words you’re putting out’’ ‘’I hope so’’ I look around the coffee shop taking in all the different people I look over to I guess they would be the popular ones they all look so snobby the girls are plastered in makeup and wearing hair extensions such fake girls I’d hate to wake up to them with no makeup on I thought to myself … and the guys I take in them too they are all perfect but they already know that I look to the end of the table to the last guy that all the girls seem to have all their attention on. I regret doing it so much because he’s staring back at me looking right threw me with intense blue eyes if I could even call them blue the almost translucent my breathe quickens. I close my eyes.